“…longing for what might have been and wasn’t.”

“Growth hurts. Even though the pain is in your best interest, it hurts. Just keep reminding yourself that you’re growing from this, you’re getting stronger and more resilient each moment. It’ll hurt less and less each day. Remember you won’t hurt forever and try to allow yourself to hurt right now. If you need distractions, take breaks to do things that make you forget your problems. Go back and forth between healing and distracting if that’s what helps you. If the physical sensations in your body start to overwhelm you, allow yourself to feel it for as long as you can stand — even just 30 seconds — then comfort yourself. Feeling good heals, and feeling your pain heals. You’re going to be okay. You’re okay right now, it just doesn’t feel like it. But someday you’re gonna actually feel okay. Then soon after, you’ll even feel happy.”

I live by this tweet, I don’t think she knows how much she influenced my life philosophy

“It’s both a burden and a blessing to feel everything as deeply as I do.”

i’m always sad and you’re always numb. i don’t know how to deal with your silence. i don’t know how to deal with your lack of emotion. it makes me feel judged. it makes me feel like you aren’t listening. like you don’t care enough to listen. i don’t know what else to do but act out in order for you to see me. however you do see me. you see me for who i am. you see me for the pain i’ve endured. you don’t want me to see you. you’re scared of what i’ll find in your heart. you’re numb. i get it. you’ve been hurt. i’m sad. you get it. i’ve been hurt. the only difference between us is i long to fill this void. while you try to ignore it. i still want you. i still think about you. i love you but you’re always numb and well i’m always sad.

a letter to my heart

“I won’t kiss you. It might get to be a habit and I can’t get rid of habits.”