𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬

The air is plagued with an uncomfortably long moment of silence before Namgyu stifles a laugh and hugs his arms across his chest.

“So, what? Last time you smoked was in high school? No one has used soda cans-“

”Shut up Namgyu,” Thanos slaps his friend over his chest with a muffle thump.

“You want to try it tonight?” The purple haired man continues, his blue colored contacts scan your face in anticipation.

And that's when you find yourself sitting rigid on the end of the couch, curiously watching Thanos roll a blunt over his glass coffee table. Oldschool R&B plays low over the speaker and the glow of purple LED lights create a soft contrast to the night sky through the large windows.

His pink tongue carefully licks the paper, eyes finding yours as he does, offering a wink before slender fingers slide over the edges. Namgyu lounges over the fur rug below you, mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

“I always have to roll because he can’t. You should see how fucked his shit comes out.”

“Shut the fuck up, T,” Namgyu retaliates, “I like when you do it because it’s not as tight.”

The other man ignores his friend and directs his attention solely to you.

“Okay, pretty girl,” Thanos flicks the lighter, bringing the blunt to his lips. Namgyu looks up from his phone, brows raised as he watches his friend.

”Watch me.” Thanos says, voice low with bass, before inhaling the joint, the tip growing brighter as he does. Once done, he passes the joint to Namgyu and sucks the smoke in deeper.

You squirm, rubbing your sweaty fingers together over your lap. You watch Namgyu sit up to take a hit, blowing a cloud of smoke to the side. His eyes meet yours, extending his hand to offer you a hit.

You hesitate, and they notice.

”You don’t have to-“ Namgyu begins but you cut him off.

“No, no, I want to try.”

You take the joint to your lips and suck in slowly, attempting to copy what Thanos had done. The musky taste fills your senses, warm and itchy, tickling the back of your throat almost immediately. You tried, like really tried, to keep it in but your body reacts without a second thought and you cough uncontrollably. Squeezing your eyes shut, you lean forward, hacking up a lung. Puffs of smoke leave your mouth with each cough and tears swell almost immediately.

Namgyu reacts almost instantly, sliding onto the couch next to you to pat your back.

”Yeah, it burns like shit when you’re not used to it.”

Moments pass and you catch your breath. Your eyelashes sticky from tears, most likely messing up your mascara in the process you look over to Thanos, who carries a slack smile. You didn’t even notice the quick look he shared with his friend.

“Don’t worry, baby girl, first time is always rough.”

“Do you want to try again? I doubt you inhaled anything with that.” Namgyu offers.

You suck in a breath, cringing at the man beside you, but he gently takes the joint from your fingers, his touch lingering a moment.

”Trust me, it won’t hurt as bad this time.” He gives you a sheepish smile.

”There’s nothing to worry about, baby. You’re safe, we got you if anything happens.” The purple haired man reassures you.

You nod, adjusting your frame to face Namgyu completely. You wanted to try this after all. It’ll probably be your only chance to try it anyway. You gotta live, you know?

Namgyu brings the paper to his lips, sucking in deeply while his eyes never leave yours. His intense stare ignites a flame deep within your belly, and before you know it, his palm slides over your knee. The warmth of his flesh simmers over your skin, his pinky toying with the hem of your dress before leaning close. His other hand comes up to gently caress your jaw, tilting your face up to him.

His scent has you surrounded and you’re incapable of moving. His intense stare drawing close and the wafts of swirling smoke and cologne filling your nostrils paralyzes you. For what felt like forever and a second all at once, his nose grazes your cheek, bringing you back into reality.

“Open, baby,” Thanos murmurs from across the table.

Opening your mouth for him, Namgyus soft lips graze yours and begins pushing the smoke inside. This time, the smoke felt smooth, hydrated and warm.

”Breathe in.” Thanos guides again.

You inhale slowly with every push he gave until there was nothing left. Once done, he lingered close to watch your every move. You felt his breath tickle your cheek, hot and intoxicating. Looking up at him through thick lashes, his gaze was already upon you, eyes swimming dark with desire. Losing yourself in the moment, heartbeat thumping between your ears, you almost didn’t notice that the couch dipped behind you.

“My turn.”

Thanos’s arm slithers around your shoulder to grab the blunt from the other man, once again snapping back to reality and releasing your hypnosis from Namgyu. His chest presses firmly against your back, his different scent wafts up to your nose, filling your scenes with clean shampoo, cigarettes and an airier cologne. The paper crackles when he takes a hit, incredibly close behind to your face before you feel his fingers sliding up the front of your neck. With his palm flat over your trachea and fingers splayed along your jaw, he adds pressure in turning your head into his lips.

Thanos’s lips were hungrier than the other, confidently latching onto you, pushing the smoke inside your mouth with his tongue. You take him fully, inhaling every last bit of smoke he gives. His lips were sweeter than Namgyus. Traces of candy burst your tastebuds.

The palm that caresses your neck slides up to your jaw, the pads of his fingers pet against your flesh, sending wavelengths of chills down your spine.

Once he was finished, he pulled away only a mere centimeter to allow you to exhale.

The duo continued this for another round, guiding your face back and forth between the two of them. Each time their lips lingered longer and longer, hungry to devour you whole. Like they were waiting for you to make the first move, or waiting to see who of the two would begin the downfall. It was only a matter of time that you felt the side effects creeping through your veins, viciously spreading throughout your body. It was gradual at first, until it hit you head on like a door being opened in a hurricane. Your skin prickled and crawled, while your mind grew hazy and light. Their faces became one, meshed together in a vision.

You began to giggle.

“There’s our girl,” Namgyu’s knuckles graze over your chin, his other hand creeping up your thigh, palming at your muscle.

”Feels good, yeah?” Thanos lets you lean back into his chest, his arms slung over your waist. The joint lays forgotten in the ashtray, but the musky scent lingers heavily.

You giggle and nod in response.

“I’ve never felt like this before! I feel… feel…” you nuzzle yourself against Thanos, “so relaxed.”

”Hey,” the mans chest behinds you vibrates, lulling you deeper into your high. You want him to do it again-

“Keep talking it feels good,” you mumble.

”Baby, you know what would feel even better?”

You hum, drifting, drifting… Namgyus kneading over your thigh feels too good.

“Sit up for me.” Thanos says lowly, but you remain, completely entranced by Namgyu’s ministrations.

Thanos shot his friend a look, stopping him from teasing you. You protest when his warm palm leaves your skin, only to be replaced by thick arms hooking under your pits to lift you up.

”Here we go, sweet girl, up,” Namgyu says softly before placing a chaste kiss under your ear and turning you around over Thanos.

You adjust to your newfound position, straddling the purple haired man. You open your eyes to find his face close to yours underneath you.

“Su-bong, I feel great.” You smile sweetly, tilting your head to observe him in the purple ambience. He looks so beautiful.

Blue eyes swimming with an emotion you can’t decipher scan over your face before he pulled up into a deep kiss. Large hands tug your hair and pull you impossibly deeper, and for a moment you feel like you might suffocate. It was voracious and wet, his tongue slipped past your lips instantly to taste you fully. He rumbled, a groan that came deep from his chest awakened all your senses.

Your core rested fully now over something hard and warm.

Thanos breathed into your kiss, devouring your lips like he was a man starved. His hips bucked up into you, igniting the fire between your legs. Your body erupts in a hazy desire grinding back into him, letting a sweet moan fall past your lips.

Rocking back into his thrusts, Thano’s breath becomes ragged and the hands that pull you close search your body, running over every curve like he was carefully studying you. Your mind’s completely drifting into this ecstasy so much so that you completely ignore the feeling of Namgyu flipping up your dress to expose your ass.

The other man sits up and kneels before the two of you to palm his cock over his sweatpants.

“Wish you could see the way her ass bounces from back here, oh my god.” Namgyu groans.

This earns a growl from Thanos before his exploring hands move south to grip your ass, spreading you open. Namgyu could almost cry at seeing the wet spot on your panties now spread in full view for him.

Your cunt drags along Thano’s thick shaft as he dry humps up into you. Your body rocks roughly over his between wet kisses. Your mind spins, your body completely limp in his grasp, his blunt fingernails dig into your flesh like he’s afraid to lose you.

Namgyu leans forward a slender finger to trace along your wet core over your panties, the other hand palming himself a little more roughly.

“She’s so fucking wet, T, look.” Pulling your panties to the side, you jump at the sudden intrusion of his finger.

“It’s okay, pretty girl, just want him to taste you.” Slowly, Namgyu scoops up your slick to rub between his fingers. You’re sweet and sticky like honey, and he admires the sight. He allows himself to play with the juices between his fingers, watching sticky strings expand and droop before his friend growls - a warning to hurry up. At that, he leans forward to present the sight to his friend.

When Thanos breaks the kiss, you groan, hanging your head in the crook of his neck. You inhale his sweet cologne mixed with sweat, drifting once again in pure bliss. Your core aches for release now, so you mindlessness hump and hump when Thanos turns his head to taste his friend’s fingers, moaning before he does just at the sight of your slick.

“Holy shit, you’re so sweet.” He groans.

Thanos shakes his head, “I don't know bro, I’ve never taken something like that before.”

Nam-Gyu clicks his tongue, “just trust me. I’m taking it with you.” His eyes shift to look at the ceiling, trying to find the right words. “It's similar to shrooms,” he muses, “Plus, I’m a good trip guide. I won’t let you do any crazy shit.”

Thanos stares at the colorful tablets laid before him, contemplating if this was a good idea. It’s not like he hasn’t tried this stuff before, or worse, but this was newer on the market and Nam-Gyu’s past of harder drugs doesn’t set his mind at ease.

“For real, you won’t end up in the street naked or anything. When I tried this a few months back, it literally saved me, bro. It was like, like uh, like I saw all the beauty in the world…” He paused sheepishly before adding, “or some shit.”

Nam-Gyu smiles, “look, I don’t do hard shit anymore, you know this.”

Which was true, Thanos thought. They’ve tried almost everything under the sun when it came to experimenting when they first met, with the exception of needles when it came to Thanos. When it came to trying newer drugs, Su-bong was extra cautious about them being laced. But, his friend is trying it with him, and he’s done it before… what could go wrong?

”This was the same batch you tried before?”

”Yeah, I saved these last two for just us.”

”I take just one?”

”Just one.”

The purple haired man takes a tablet with confidence and pops it in his mouth.

“Now let it dissolve over your tongue,” Nam-Gyu follows his friend by taking the tablet, which eases the other.

“How long will it take?” Thanos lets out a breath, sinking his back to the floor. His friend follows suit, flopping his body to the floor beside him to stare at the ceiling in Thanos’s high rise apartment.

“Won’t be long, bro. Just enjoy the ride.”

The lights in the apartment were already dim. The faint glow of purple LED lights and the twinkle of the night sky of Seoul made a soft atmosphere. The high was gradual but overwhelmingly apparent. Thanos’s body flooded with an initial rush of adrenaline, causing his body to buzz. Time felt all-being, fast as light but slow as molasses, and his body was just an anomaly between it all.

The emotions inside his mind bursted at the seams, exploding with undescribable love and admiration for life. The fleeting thought deep within his mind made him realize that he’s never truly felt appreciative of life before, but he chose to ignore it. How could he ignore the overwhelming excitement for living? This is beautiful. His friend was beautiful, his apartment was beautiful, these lights were mesmerizing.

He stared at Seoul’s skyline for what felt like hours, completely entranced in the way they sparkled. Neon lights flashing on billboards, the barely-there stars peeking through the city’s light pollution. Maybe one day he’ll see the night sky for real and count every star up there. How come he had never realized how beautiful the city was? The people in the street enjoying food, groups sticking together on a night out, a couple hugging each other in an intimate moment and forgetting the world around them.

He wanted to find love like this. Could this feeling be love? Is this what it felt like to appreciate everything he had been through? He had never felt this love with another human being before, but he can remember the last time he had felt love.

When he was a child, he loved to create. This mostly came through rapping and making music, but he also adored creating through drawing and painting. He loved to dance, he loved to express himself in any way possible through a form of art.

Maybe he had lacked this as he got older. With tough times and life experiences, he began to revert inside himself. In school, he got in with the wrong crowd, tried drugs and got hooked at a young age. He became rebellious, ultimately becoming the leader of the pack. He still created music, though, but it was the only mask he had. Rapping got him exclusive invitations to more popular crowds. He had spiraled and partied regularly before it became a lifestyle.

A new girl every night and waking up with regret, on a vicious cycle of drugs and alcohol, partying way past sunrise and waking up just when the sun began to set.

Was he proud of it? He’s lived this life for too long to remember, so he couldn’t tell.

Did he even have his own conscious? Did his lifestyle dull his senses to what really matters? He can’t tell.

All he could feel was right now, this moment in the lick of time. And time was fleeting.

-

Choi Su-bong woke up the next night alone on his couch. He blinked, once, twice before reaching for his phone on the floor beside him. Cringing at the bright screen and scrolling through notifications, Nam-Gyu had left a text a few hours ago.

남규 🙈 (4:14 pm) : I left earlier to make an appointment. I checked on u before i left to make sure ur alive lol i also locked the door. Txt me when you wake

Sighing and rolling on his back, Su-bong sent a response to notify that he was okay before switching apps.

Instagram was his first choice, per usual, and he was immediately flooded with his fellow idols and influencer ‘friends’' posts. Flashy cars, luxurious dinners, lavish outfits that cost hundreds of dollars… it was always the same. He swallowed, noticing his mouth withered before discarding his phone once again over the fur carpet.

It was Friday night, the start to a weekend, where he would usually get up to shower and head out to the high scale clubs to meet with friends. But tonight he only hopped in the shower to cleanse himself and threw on a hoodie and sweats, because he cringed at the thought of doing anything else.

Sitting alone on his plush couch, tv faintly glowing in the back, he racked his brain on his experience from yesterday. It’s actually surprising that he didn’t feel the effects still. It must have been a short term high.

Though short term, it had lasting effects on his system. His thought process tonight was completely different from normal. No doom scrolling, waking up craving immediate numbness or even hungover. Maybe it was time for a wake up call, and this was what he needed. And to think that he was hesitant at first to take them.

He was tired of the surface level relationships and everything that came with that. His entire adult life had been a blur, a ticking time bomb with fleeting memories. Sure, times were fun, but waking up each day feeling like his body got pummeled by a train wasn’t…fun.

He missed art. He missed making music that came from his heart. He missed creating. Not this senselessness that made him fit in.

Pulling out his phone, Su-bong’s slender fingers tapped along the screen.

Create a new account

The blue letters stared back at him, and he was eager to press. Pursing his lips, he contemplates a new name. And why was thinking of anything original so hard right now? It felt like a ghostly pressure, but this was his first choice he’s consciously made in years. Was it really that hard?

He lets out an airy laugh, “shibal.”

Pattering his colorful fingernails along the screen, he came up with Mystic_Legend.

Was it original to his persona? No. But he liked it that way. It was a little ode to himself, but honoring his attachment.

He kept the profile blank for now, not opting to add a profile picture.

This was a clean slate. The explore page filled with vacation pictures of palm trees next to private pools, someone cooking a healthy meal for their family, a few memes - but what caught his attention was a beautiful art piece hung along a blank wall.

What he could perceive as a skinless torso without the flesh, unmasked and slimy twisting up like a tornado. Brilliant hues of blue and dusty grey explode through the top like a cloud exploding and expanding. Thanos was mesmerized by the painting. He’d never seen anything like this before.

His whole body stalled as his eyes scan every detail of the picture for a while. His mind races with thoughts of what could this be? What was the artist interpreting?

But maybe it wasn’t up for interpretation, maybe it was to feel.

What he felt was a tainted soul blossoming into something new.

This was a deep connection, a coincidence to a new path of life.

A beginning.

-

Su-bong spent less time on social media in the following weeks. From what used to be entertaining fans through comments, responding to DM’s, collaborating with other big artists and liking videos of his appearances and shows to spending most of his time on his burner account.

He had grown an algorithm catered to interests long forgotten and had followed things that genuinely interested him. From thousands of followers to zero, from following a few hundred to 13. It was refreshing, to Su-bong. Something he had needed.

No followers didn’t stop him from posting his daily routine. It was rather fun, actually. Posting things that he was doing without having thousands of people watching his every move. It felt more invigorating to post things that were out of his online persona.

An americano from the cafe down the street, his weights at the gym, his record collection, his at-home studio setup, a new pair of shoes he just bought, a colorful sunset from his apartment, a video of him filming the Han River as he went on a run.

He found a new love in posting things that caught his eye, a new love for things he didn’t really see before.

Nam-Gyu was always around, too. Like usual, he’d stop by the apartment to share a drink or smoke a blunt. The two would watch movies and order take out every few days, leaving Nam-Gyu to pass out on the couch for the night. The bond they shared was always special in regards to the fakeness of the crowd Thanos hung around, so it was natural and comfortable keeping him close.

Though, he’d never share the burner account. That was solely his.

Thanos would still keep a presence online through his main account, but not as much. Fans would ask if things were okay on his posts, but he never responded to those. He did his tasks led by management and kept his social life relatively strong to cause any other suspicion.

However, he did loosen the reins on making appearances. In a span of 2 weeks, he didn’t show up to any night clubs or perform at any shows, much to his managers' dislike. However, he continued to make music, music like he’s never created before.

His new routine would be spending hours in his guest bedroom/home studio making music from his soul. Raps about love and heartbreak, about a life he feels like he’d never lived. Raps about living vicariously through movies, how he longs for companionship but can’t seem to allow himself. Raw emotions would flow, allowing himself to set in a new territory of his mind and heart.

It was like therapy. Years of burden lifted off his shoulder poured into his music. Sometimes angry and intense, spitting painful memories and emotions through the mic - and others loving and soft, thoughtful for genuine affection.

Choi Su-bong felt at ease for the first time since he was a child.

Nestled in his king bed, damp hair draping over his brow, he scrolled through his explore page.

A beautiful face he had scrolled past.

Scrolling back up, he tapped on your picture with lightning speed.

A simple photo, but unremarkable. You posed in a simple dress that accentuated your body modestly, holding the phone up to take a selfie in a park.

Officially 1 month in Seoul!

Seoul? You’re here?

Swiping to your profile, he noticed that you didn’t have much. With only following barely over a hundred people and less than 40 followers, you were an anomaly.

You didn’t even have a caption, just a simple text heart emoji under your name.

Your profile had only 12 photos and 2 of which were you. The rest had been photos of your adventures. A photo of a record store, good food you had tried here in Korea, and pictures of landscapes.

Thanos eagerly tapped on the second photo of you.

You were in bed, phone angled high to capture your beauty with flash, holding a plush animal.

I rewarded myself with a friend today

Su-bong swelled, grinning to himself. The plushie you had looked soft, tuffs of its fur touching your cheek as you smiled sweetly back at him. Scrolling down, he found your first post of an airplane illuminated under airport lights.

Today, I start fresh. I’m nervous. #movingtokorea

Checking the date, you had posted this 2 months ago. You must have moved here recently and are living in the same city as him.

Running slender fingers through his hair, Su-Bong considered interacting with you or not. He had scrolled up to see your face at least a dozen times, practically stalking your entire page. Unable to control his emotions, Thanos buzzed with adrenaline.

He’s made the first move countless of times, but not in a… specific way like this. He never had a problem getting the girl he desired for the night, and he never had to try hard at that. This was a completely different situation.

He didn’t want that type of relationship with you. He felt it reverberating deep within his bones. He wanted more than that. Looking through the screen into your eyes marked him in a way he could never describe in words. It was a pulling, a chain that linked and locked with a click deep in his soul.

One message couldn’t hurt? Right? You didn’t even know who he was, or what society had written about him. You didn’t know his past, his current or even his name.

Would it be weird sending you a message? He doesn’t think he could even cope with being left on read by you.

This was fate, this was more than limerence - it was affinity.

-

You sigh, plopping yourself over your couch and covering yourself with a blanket.

Your apartment was small and barren. It was nothing to look at, but it was home. Little trinkets line your bookshelf in the corner of your living room glow under the tv’s light. Scrolling through your apps, you select a comfort show from your childhood and unwind.

Starting a new life in Seoul wasn’t on your bingo card a year ago, but you had made the rash decision for a job with decent pay. You had never left home, so why not take an adventure to see if you could do it? The best part of all of this was that you always had the decision to move back, or move somewhere else completely.

It was beginning to feel like home, though. It was the perfect amount of space you needed and the environment was a perfect mix of introverted activities and extroverted. You had the freedom to become a hermit, but also had the option to go out if you so please. You lived in a part of the city where you could walk to work, dine and drink down the street. You also lived in an area close to bars if you ever felt the need to socialize.

It was beginning to feel like home after 2 months. Your job was easy to follow, despite you not being an expert in Korean. The people were nice, though they were curious and stared. You stuck out like a sore thumb with your demeanor, but you were becoming accustomed quickly, better than you thought you would.

You should be going out tonight, but you don’t feel ready yet. You should be getting dolled up to enjoy a night of fun, but… this was fun for now. Cuddled up in your cozy apartment after a long week at work.

The tv muffled in the background as you stared out your window, appreciating the skyline.

Your phone buzzes against your tight, drawing you from your thoughts.

Mystic_Legend wants to send you a message

Your brow furrows at the notification, but you’re anxious to see the message. You had little to no lies from your home country, and no one knew you here in Korea. Must be a bot.

Mystic_Legend (9:56 pm) : 나는 당신의 사진을 좋아합니다

You blink, staring at the message in curiosity. Pulling up google on your phone you translate the sentence.

I like your photo

“Weird,” you mumble.

Another instagram notification pops up on your screen and you tap it.

Mystic_Legend (9:57 pm) : 최근에 한국에 도착 했나요? 당신은 그것을 좋아합니까?

Have you arrived in Korea recently? Do you like it?

Uneasiness bubbles within your gut. Wasn’t your profile private? You tap around your screen to double check - and it wasn’t. Curiosity got the best of you and you tap the users profile.

20 posts, 13 following and… zero followers.

An anomaly.

Scrolling through the users posts, you find random things. A pair of new shoes, a video of a hooded figure with his back turned to the camera playing on a soundboard, a picture of the person’s outfit, hat covered with a beanie and phone conveniently covering his face in the mirror. Filtering through more posts, you find the Seoul skyline at night, a deck of cards littering a coffee table, gym equipment and landscape photos.

“What the,” you sigh under your breath before another notification pops over the top of your screen.

Mystic_Legend (10:01 pm) : I’m sorry. I should have written in English.

Mystic_Legend (10:01 pm) : I like your photos. Did you recently move to Korea?

Your fingers hesitate before swiping across the screen to accept the messages.

You (10:02 pm) : Do I know you?

A typing bubble appears before disappearing for a few moments.

Mystic_Legend (10:03 pm) : No, I found you on explore page

Ahh, it clicked. But you won’t tell a stranger sensitive information, the whole situation is weird in the first place. You were hesitant to even respond, leaving the message on read while you stared at the screen.

Mystic_Legend (10:04 pm) : I’m Su-bong. Not a creep, I promise.

You (10:04 pm) : Nice to meet you. Thank you for liking my pictures.

Keeping it short and sweet, you lock your phone, hoping to leave the conversation at that, but your phone vibrates not once, but twice.

Mystic_Legend has followed you

Mystic_Legend (10:06 pm) : I could help you speak Korean, if you don’t know

You contemplate the message, looking at it on your Home Screen. You could use the help with your job and navigating the city. It wouldn’t hurt, right? You could have a native speaker help and just keep it at that. Just for the knowledge, of course. Keep it surface level.

You (10:07 pm) : That helps me, actually.

Mystic_Legend (10:07 pm) : Cool. 😎

Mystic_Legend (10:07 pm) : Maybe we could call?

You (10:08 pm) : Not tonight, it’s pretty late.

Mystic_Legend (10:09 pm) : That is okay, get your rest. We can speak tomorrow?

You (10:10 pm) : Sure.

Seen 10:10pm

You left it at that, and the stranger does too. You get ready for bed shortly after that, confused as to how anyone would even find you on the explore page. You weren’t a big account at all and hardly interacted with content on the app, so what had led to the discovery of your profile?

You did have similar interests, but that couldn’t be the only reason for him to message you.

Before closing your eyes, you tap the instagram application and go to the strangers profile and press follow.

-

It caused Su-bong physical pain to let you go to bed. He wanted to message you more, all night if he could. But you had agreed to a call tomorrow, and he was reeling with adrenaline.

Scanning over your photos in his darkened room overlooking the city lights, he couldn’t keep his gaze off the picture of you in the park. Turning over to lay on his side, a strangeness swells within his chest. It must have been stupid, only a virgin could react so strongly just by pictures and dry messages.

But something had told him this was everything he had been missing. Not ever had he looked at a girl with such a sweetness. He’d hooked up with models, influencers and everything in between, although not remembering most of the nights. He’d share hot kisses with wet tongues in night clubs, inviting high class women to his place to experiment something new, had intense sex fueled by molly, and even bent women over in grimy bathrooms.

This was not new to him, picking up women and getting what he wanted.

But the purity was.

Something swam in your eyes, mesmerizing him in a daze. Something fueled him to keep pushing, to dig deeper as to where this stems from.

You are beautiful, elegant and ethereal actually.

He’d hate himself forever if he didn’t try.

The buzz of a notification almost sends his heart leaping out of his chest to find that you had followed him back.

-

You didn’t hear from the stranger, or Su-bong overnight. To your conflicting disappointment, he wasn’t in the pile of notifications when you woke.

Something pulled you in. Men now-a-days have a large following, or a large number of who they follow. You didn’t mull this over to its extent last night, but when you checked his following, it was all art, photography and music accounts… all 13 of them. He didn’t have a profile picture, but the same silhouette showed continuously through his posts.

He didn’t have any followers, and this led you to think this was a secret account. Maybe he had a girlfriend to hide… but honestly that wouldn’t make sense, because if he were to hide an account, wouldn’t he be following girls? At least one? But the only one was you.

And you were now his only follower.

It seemed like a simple account, purely made for enjoyment. Social media is used for that sort of thing anyways, right? You shake your head, reminding yourself that not every man is out to get you. Not every stranger is here to hurt you.

It’s not that big of a deal, and you shouldn’t even be bothering yourself with it.

So you opt to forget about it and carry on with your day.

Saturday - a day to catch up after the work week and do whatever you want to do. So, you do. You work out, shower and make your way to the little cafe down the street to catch a light breakfast and coffee.

Sitting down at an empty table near the window to people watch, your phone buzzes over the table.

Mystic_Legend (10:01 am) : Good morning

Bzzzzt

Mystic_Legend sent a photo

You practically leap from your seat to snatch your phone, a rush of adrenaline courses through your veins. You pray to god that this doesn’t go south, please for the love of god do not be an unsolicited dick pic.

Preparing yourself with a breath, you go to his message embarrassingly fast and tap on the photo.

You squint before opening, as if to allow yourself to be a victim of a terrible sight, but to your delight, the picture opened to a pair of pristine white sneakers next to some weights.

Mystic_Legend (10:03 am) : I am hitting the gym this morning. I hope you slept well.

You (10:04 am) : I beat you to it, I already worked out today. I am getting breakfast.

Sending a picture back can’t do any harm, right? Angling your phone over your food and coffee, you snap a picture and send it.

Mystic_Legend (10:06 am) : Looks good

Mystic_Legend (10:06 am) : What are your plans today?

Mystic_Legend (10:07 am) : I am excited to call, let me know when you are ready.

You purse your lips, blushing at the thought of having a phone call with a stranger. This was unhinged right? No one in their right mind would be doing this… right? Why did your heart flutter with every message he sent?

It’s literally a blank profile.

You tap on his account and scroll down to the photo of him in a mirror. The purple beanie covers his hair and the phone covers most of his face. The hoodie he wears is black with neon coloring and you can’t see past his waist. The one eye you do see, gives a glimpse, a sliver, that who you are talking to is a real person.

You (10:10 am) : I have to run errands today, but I will text you when I am home

The chat bubble lifts above the keyboard, then disappears. You await his response in silence.

Mystic_Legend (10:11 am) : I will wait for you.

An… odd message, you blink. Maybe even sweet… but you don’t know the customs and courtesies of Korean culture enough to have a real judgement. All you need to worry about is finishing your errands and chores before a phone call with a stranger.

-

Flicking the light to your apartment on and dumping your grocery bags on the counter, you stretch.

A day out was just what you needed, and the weather was perfect to walk around in, but damn do your feet ache. Slipping off your shoes by the door, you begin doing your final task of the day.

You barely put the egg carton in your fridge before you hear your phone buzz from the counter. Padding your feet over to your phone, sits another photo message from mystic_legend.

Tilting your head, you open the photo.

An outstretched hand gingerly caresses a wine glass halfway filled with a deep red in front of a kitchen counter.

Mystic_Legend (8:00 pm) : I hope you had a good day.

You (8:00 pm) : Sorry it is so late, I met up with a coworker for dinner.

You cringe at your apology, it’s not like he deserved one. But it was true. Your coworker saw you shopping at a local store and asked if you’d be down to have drinks and food. You couldn’t say no, especially since you have no friends. And this coworker is also a foreigner, so it works out in terms of no language barriers. But you did have plans to call with him, so maybe you felt the need to mention that?

You (8:01 pm) : Is that red wine?

Mystic_Legend (8:01 pm) : Yes. I like this one.

Mystic_Legend sent a photo

You open the photo to see an exquisite bottle of red with the label in French.

You (8:03 pm) : Looks expensive, are you rich?

Mystic_Legend (8:04 pm) : It was a gift.

You (8:05 pm) : I will call soon, I need to finish cleaning up and shower

Mystic_Legend hearted your message but said nothing else.

You freshen up after a long day, letting the hot water cascade down your back. Rubbing your shoulders to ease the tension, your mind wanders.

Was this a trick? Was he a creep? How could you be so naive in trusting a complete stranger? It was weird, what you were doing.

But in reality, you are lonely. Making this move was huge for you and your confidence. You’ve never ventured out like this before. You are a big girl, you don’t need to explain your reasons for making friends. You are completely on your own, working in a completely new country, and doing good at it.

You’re not tied down by anything but yourself, so why was it hard to accept the fact that this was a little unconventional?

You’ve tried dating apps in the past- you physically cringe forcing yourself to stop your thought process. Shrugging your shoulders against the water in a visceral reaction, you shake off the thought. This guy is not an interest, why were you thinking it was? Instagram is not an app to date.

Even so, he had never asked anything other than to talk to you. You’ve had guys in the past ask for nudes almost immediately. You’ve had guys thirsting over you in such an icky way that it completely turned you off.

But…

You lean your head back into the waterfall and puff your cheeks.

He hasn’t done that.

You couldn’t help by think of all the reason why. Why he had messaged. Was it a cover? He could be a complete fuck-boy underneath it all and he’s just grabbing your attention.

What if he isn’t even real. What if he’s some mama’s boy living in a dingy basement?

You groan, anticipation swelling deep in your belly. You feel like you might be sick at the thought of a measly voice call.

You can’t help that it excites you.

-

Silk pajamas caress your skin and the plush comforter of your bed warms your senses as you whip out your phone and settle yourself in a comfortable position.

Your finger lingers over the phone symbol next to the strangers name… and you can’t do it.

You (11:01 pm) : I’m ready

WIthin seconds, like he really was awaiting your message, your phone screen illuminates with a voice call.

Your body tenses at the mere sight and you suck in a breath, hitting accept.

“Hello?”

“Annyeonghaseyo,” he calls, his voice low and smooth like honey. You melt at the slow infliction of his tone.

“Oh- annyeong-“ You stutter, but he doesn’t react. “How are you?” You try to hold it together to keep your voice from shaking, praying that he doesn’t notice. Your poor Korean could be embarrassing to him.

“That was good,” he comments before proceeding, “I am good now. I told you I would wait for you.”

The more he spoke, the more you caught on to his thick accent. It wasn’t perfect. But you didn’t care, you understood him just fine.

You give an airy laugh, “you did.”

”What did you do today?”

You hum. “I worked out, went to lunch… I went shopping and met up with a coworker of mine for dinner. It was nice. What did you do today?”

He hums in response.

“One second-“ he says, followed by quick tapping on his screen. After a moment, he begins to speak again.

“I worked out too. I had chest day. Then I made music.”

“Music?”

“Yes,” he pauses, “I like to make music.”

”Is that why you post pictures of you in a studio?”

“Yes,” the tapping on his phone is rapid now, “I have my own studio in my house.”

”That’s so cool! I’d like to hear your music…”

The stranger was silent on the other line.

”Maybe.”

“Okay, well no pressure. I don’t like to show anyone my personal stuff either.” You opt to keep the conversation light.

He hums in agreement.

“Why did you come to Korea?”

You shift under your covers, thinking of a response.

“I… just needed a new start. I wanted to see what I could accomplish.” Is what you ended up with.

He hums again, slow and low, taking a moment to respond.

“I understand. I have lived here my entire life. I always wanted to travel, that is good that you did.”

You laugh, “it was scary at first, moving to a new country and all…”

”I could tell you all the best spots around here.”

”I’d like that, I’m still getting used to it.” You turn your head to look at the moon outside your window.

”Do you remember my name?” He questions.

”Su-Bong.” You respond quietly.

”Yes, I’d like to know yours.”

You swallow, internally battling yourself with how to respond. You don’t want to give him your real name in the means of safety. But he did give you his.

“Is that actually your name?”

“Of course, why would I lie?” His accent was thick and questioning, low in bass. It rang so nicely through your ears. His infliction doesn’t waver, and it draws you in.

You slowly said your own name, giving him the benefit of the doubt. It was just a name after all, and he had already known what you looked like.

He repeated your name quietly, like he savored it on his tongue. His deep voice electrified your nerves in a way you’ve never experienced, triggering your body to grow hot in embarrassment.

“Beautiful name,” was all he said.

You sheepishly give thanks before yawning.

“Are you tired?”

Your eyelids grow heavy to the sound of his voice. “I am.”

”I will let you go to sleep, can we talk tomorrow?”

You wait a moment to respond as your heart flutters in response to him.

“Yes, I’d like that.”

”Okay,” he whispers, “an nyeong hi ju mu se yo.”

”Goodnight, Su-Bong.”

-

Thanos hung up the phone almost too quickly, but not because he wanted to leave the conversation, but because he needed to let out a breath he had been holding.

Your voice was sweet and calming. It had lulled his system like waves of the ocean.

Running his fingers through his hair his eyes dart around the room and curses under his breath.

Thanos began to think that this was fate, his divine right, a privilege to be placed in the games. From almost slipping his body off a bridge over the Han River to end it all, to redeeming himself here, where laws do not matter. Where he could cheat, steal, and even sacrifice others for a start on a new life. Because in here, whatever vile decision he makes, he truly believes that he will gain from it exponentially.

He’s slowly losing himself in this morally decrepit place, and he doesn’t mind that one bit. Each day his mind’s corrupted a little more, slowly unscrewing the primal parts of his brain that he didn’t even know were there. In fact, this was just what he needed. No police, no laws or tricks to unlock his true potential. The rules were simple, and he is simple enough to believe that he could win.

Not only has he slipped through death's icy grip to earn endless amounts of cash day after day, but he’d found a muse. It was a double whammy in the mind of Thanos.

All of this was truly a prophecy tailored just for him.

And now, in the darkness of the barracks, he’d been tossing and turning for what felt like hours after lights out. The effect of the drugs had been long gone, leaving his mind to wander. Thanos stared at the metal bars of the bunk above, his forearm slung behind him to caress his head. He’d been silently counting each bar over and over as he listened to the muffled snores around him.

He can’t sleep, not when couldn’t think about anything other than the fact that you were inches away, sleeping peacefully. He prided himself on snagging the bed next to yours the other day, and thankfully, your beds were nestled in the corner of the room on the very bottom bunk - another clear indication that fate was on his side.

Scanning his eyes over to your sleeping form, he watched you carefully. It wasn’t even fair, how beautiful you looked even in the dark. Your lips plush and relaxed, the way your lashes blanket over your cheeks, the slow movement of your chest rising and falling was a breathtaking sight in repose that contrasted to the events of day. You looked clean, too pure for a place like this.

In every single way, Thanos wanted to corrupt you. He wanted to corrupt you in a way that no one else could, in a way that no one else would know.

Because it was fate, right? The universe handed this opportunity on a silver platter, and you were the main course. How could he not take the advantage in making you his?

He couldn’t help the way his blood rushed between his legs. He couldn’t help the way his skin itched, or how his heart ached for you more than any drug could.

Thanos sucked in a breath and rolled his hips upward, the pressure from the waistline of his pants rubbed his hardened cock just right. Keeping his eyes fixated on your sleeping form, his gaze ravished the curves of your body. He wondered how soft you felt, what your lips tasted like, and how he would kill to have your lashes tickle his neck from underneath him.

Slender hands slide down to meet his aching cock over the fabric of his pants. Firmly grasping his hand around the shaft, he almost slips out a pathetic whimper. Fantasies of you on top with your breasts suffocating him flood his vision. He’d kill to bend you over that voting table in front of everyone, to show everyone that you were his. He could only imagine how tight your pussy was, how wet you’d get, how his balls would assault your pussy with each unforgiving thrust.

Thanos bit his lip, keeping a tight fist over his clothed cock as he pumped himself with a good pace. His brows furrow, but his pupils never leave your face as he does so.

God, you made him so wet, his precum has already soaked through the layers of his boxers and tracksuit. He’s careful, though, with his breath, only exhaling through his nose. But he was shuddering. His body is completely at the mercy of his lust for you, overstimulating every atom down to his toes. His mind has become over powered and hazy, thinking of all the things he could do. Would he cum on your face? Your tits? Oh fuck, would he cum deep inside you? Yeah, he’ll do that when the time comes.

Because…

Before Thanos even finished the thought, his feet were already swinging over the side of the bed and had only taken 2 steps to tower of your sleeping form. His eyes darted around the barracks and the beds that tower over him for any pink soldiers. Not that he cared, but it’d be a shame if he didn’t finish with you before getting killed if he was caught.

But it was fate though, right? The universe wouldn’t stop what he needed to do.

He needed to have you, and this was just the beginning of it all.

Towering over you, Thanos snapped his neck back to look over your face. His breath was ragged and his clothed boner raged with need. Keeping a firm grip on his cock to ease the pain, his free hand moves a piece of your hair behind your ear in a rather gentle way. Now, yes now he could see your face clearly.

Your beautiful fucking face.

His slender fingers graze over your lips, and they’re just as soft as he’d imagined. His body buzzes with excitement as he shuffles over his feet. Pumping himself faster now as he angles his hips closer to your face. This was the moment he needed, this was the moment he had been waiting for. Holding his breath like his life depended on it and his body shrill with adrenaline, he angles himself over your lips.

The tip of his cock underneath the fabric barely touches your mouth, but with his ministrations of jerking himself off, every few thrusts his cock head bumps into your lips.

”Oh, fuck,” Thanos allows himself to whisper, letting out a breath he’d been holding.

Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner? Maybe tomorrow night he’ll just sleep with you.

The pool of pre-cum was apparent, drenching the fabric now… and he needed more.

Gently, carefully, Thanos leaned over your bed, connecting his clothed cock over your face and began to hump. Your lips were perfect, perfectly caressing the thick vein that runs along his shaft and he began to hump in line with that.

It’s an indescribable feeling. Thanos’s head falls forward as he shuts his eyes tightly in ecstasy. His lips part, letting his ragged breaths fall while he maintains his hunched posture to grind over your face.

He knew it wouldn’t be long before-

“Mmph-“ You moan underneath him. But Thanos was quick to take his palm and press it along the back of your head to push you deeper into his cock. His hips stutter before halting. You move underneath him, but he keeps you firmly placed. Frantically looking around the room, he makes sure no one stirs from their slumber before unlatching himself.

Thanos quickly meets his face to yours, covering your mouth with a tattooed hand in an instant.

”Shh, baby..” He whispers as he watches your eyes wide in surprise moving between his. He would be lying if he didn’t feel a little guilt from surprising you, but frankly, in this moment, he could care less.

Because it was fate, right?

“Baby, baby,” he begins, taking his other hand to gently pet the crown of your head.

“Help me out, I’m hurting so bad. Can’t you see?” Moving his body upright, he presents his cock, painfully straining against his tracksuit stained with his own juices.

Your eyes take a second to look down at him and when you slowly drag your eyes back up to his face, he could cry. How beautiful your eyes looked in the dim light, how good you were when you relaxed in his grip.

Thanos’s eyes were fully dilated almost completely black as his gaze pierced through you. He ached, and there wasn’t much time. Taking your reaction as a green light, he moved in haste to free himself just enough for his cock to pop out over your lips.

“You can take me, babygirl, I know you can.” And before you could react, Thanos removes his sweaty palm over your mouth and slides his cock down your throat.

You sputter, but take him halfway. “There you go,” he mumbles.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath before he moves. The warmth of your mouth and the slickness of your tongue is too good. Out of all the sensory enhancing drugs he has taken during his life, nothing compares to the ecstasy you bring him in this moment. Pulling his cock out to the head, the cool air mixes with your saliva making his head spin, just for him to gently thrust back down your throat, egging you to take more of him.

And you do.

Hands begin to caress around your skull, tangling within your hair to keep you firm against the bed as he thrusts, using your mouth as a flashlight to his desire. Your hot breath from your nose tickles his pelvis as you try to take him as he wants.

Thanos’s balls tighten, his stance is firm against the concrete floor, a fire burns deep in his core and spreads throughout his body. With your mouth slippery and hot, he feels like he’s fucking honey. Your mouth hallows to suck him in, and he can’t help but feel pride. His girl is taking him so well.

”Oh my god, do that again.”

His head whips back in pleasure just for a moment when you obey his command, but he’d be damned if he misses more than a second of watching you take his cock through your lips. Your eyes look back up at him as your mouth begins to drool.

Thanos picks up the pace, overrun by desire now. The grip on your hair becomes tighter and before he realizes, he's using your hair to manually control your movements. He begins to bob your head over him roughly, and you spurt to adjust to his new pace. Your eyes furrow, your breathing deepens through your nose while the purple haired man abuses your face.

“Just like that,” he repeats over and over, whispering how good of a slut you are.

Thanos’s jaw protrudes forward, his eyes swim with a darkness you’ve only seen in the games. He can only imagine how painful the grip he has on your scalp is, but he can only bob your head harder and faster. His rings now warm, dig at your skull along with blunt colorful fingernails.

Thanos’s breath is uneven and sputtering with each thrust, his body moving to the call of lust. He wants to cry out, he wants to let his tears of pleasure fall, but he can’t be caught… at least not now.

His balls press firmly against your chin now, as you take his cock fully. The purple haired man strains his face, baring his teeth down at you in a silent warning to keep fucking going, or he’ll lose his shit.

“Swallow my fucking cum.”

Three times he’d pull your face over his cock before hot spurts of his cum hit the back of your throat. You cringe for just a second before swallowing around him like he asked. Thanos grins darkly in approval when he hears every gulp.

It pains him to remove your mouth for now, so he keeps himself inside until he’s soft.

“Come on, every last drop,” he commands while looking down at you. His sensitive cock twitches when you suckle his soft cock, drawing every ounce of cum left before he carefully pulls out and tucks himself back in his pants.

“Move over,” he taps your shoulder, and you do as he asks. Thanos crawls into the uncomfortable bed facing you before pulling your face to his chest. You let him pull your body close without a fight. His chest vibrates as he gives a satisfied hum.

It was all fate.

₊⊹ his natural lip pursing and jaw moving is so funny to me. And I even noticed the little ticks he has, like puffing out his chest and rolling his shoulders. It can totally come off like he knows he’s hot shit, but we all know it’s a front to act bigger. To subtlety overpower others with his body language.

₊⊹ what caught my eye was when he passed player 018 in the barracks and literally almost broke his neck to look her in the eye. It was so funny to watch, like he’s obviously interested in her, but his little mannerisms are like …”are you watching me too? You see me right?”

₊⊹ and this leads me to where we see him interact with her for red light green light. His swagger, the way he walks up behind her… he shows his confidence towards her in a rather unique way by freestyling

₊⊹ and what’s so weird to me is that it’s actually fucking cute. At first it was cringy, I’m sure we all thought that, but the way he did it was kind of… thoughtful?

₊⊹ I mean…. “Found her hidden between the weeds, yeah my beauty flower” I mean COME ON

₊⊹ and when Gi-Hun stood in front of everyone to describe the game, he makes fun of the man. But in another interesting way. He MENTIONS his father. How his father would come home drunk and would spew off insane shit, and he shared that with her. In my opinion, it showed that he has trauma (?) and was maybe opening the doors to be vulnerable? Maybe he knew it would lure her in, exposing something crazy like that, but I don’t think it was a tactic.

₊⊹ we all know that when he takes drugs he turns sadistic, thinking that people dying is fun. Example when he pushes 3 people in red light green light and smiles. But when we see him playing mingle, he truly doesn’t realize the weight of the games when he crashes out over Gyeong-Su’s death.

₊⊹ I think him not remembering names is also a part of his mental capacity ruined by drugs. Because, same. I don’t do drugs but it’s hard for me to remember things so easily. It takes a while to form bonds as well.

₊⊹ this leads me into him wanting bonds. He has his group, in which he weirdly cares for. He shows his care in a weird way too. It’s obviously for power, but you can see that he underneath he tries to keep them together. This could be an avoidant style attachment. Keeping people at bay might help him down the road … and it’s so crazy to me that he did share his father’s lore with player 018.

₊⊹ man is soft for women when he’s sober, I will not elaborate further

₊⊹ actually I’ll elaborate a little bit - I truly feel like he’d be a protecting type, maybe even crossing the lines of a little obsessive to where he loves HARD but like in a sweet way

₊⊹ he has so much anger, and we know this when he screams “I’m so fucking angry, man!” Just before the big fight in the bathroom. His character literally wanted to off himself. Now, I know it’s pretty vague, and that his debt doesn’t help the situation, but I truly feel that his character has gone through a lot of childhood trauma and created an avoidant persona.

₊⊹ he’s resorted to drugs and partying due to this, but also has a passion for music. In which I think this lead to more partying and drug usage.

₊⊹ I truly thinks he wants relationships and bonds but he just … can’t. It would cause him to feel.

₊⊹ Taking drugs numbs the pain and it ultimately lead him to the Thanos we see in season 2 - a dumb, cocky bastard who likes to assert his empty dominance.

₊⊹ Nam-gyu definitely feeds that ego and I do feel so bad that he can’t remember his friend’s name. BUT I WILL MENTION - I do think Nam-Gyu cares for Thanos. In some capacity…. I mean, he didn’t even know Thanos had drugs at first and they bonded with losing money over stocks and player 333. Their relationship is so bro coded it’s honestly hilarious. Just two dumb frat-like guys trying to assert themselves because they think they can. And with Nam-Gyus later reactions to the horrors of the games after Thanos is gone is very telling to his character. It’s like a “play stupid games, win stupid prizes… and live with the guilt” type situation. It’s like waking up to reality after you thought it wasn’t actually a big deal.

₊⊹ anywho, I would also like to mention that Thanos has a pretty cool personality. Choi Seunghyun mentioned he created this y2k persona for him. He literally put himself as a younger guy and how stupid he used to be. The terminology he used in the past is super outdated, but he wanted Thanos to have this cringy-ness about him. Like a y2k rapper dressing themselves up to be some hot shot with jewelry and the swagger to match it.

₊⊹ his English too, I think is worth a mention. How he’s not very good at pronunciations but he still incorporates it into casual conversation. (Another power move I think). “No ploblem” is specifically funny to me because Seunghyun mentioned the thought process behind the “r’s” not being properly said and replacing them with “l’s”. It gave him a false intellect that I find really charming. Like, he thinks he’s very good and it’s cool to use English and mesh it in conversations, but it’s not exactly correct. (This would work on me. I would not even think twice about the accent, but this bullet was worth a mention)

₊⊹ headcanon, Thanos would definitely try speaking English to you if you didn’t speak much Korean. He would nod his head and act cool as a cucumber with his accent, speaking to you in English, thinking he is crushing it and winning you over. I am literally writing a one shot of him speaking to you in mostly English because you are a beginner Korean speaker and I think it’s so endearing.

₊⊹ going back to his y2k behaviors, i truly feel like he loves the music from then and that’s what got him into rapping. He loves all music but he always goes back to the music of that time of the early 2000s. I think this style and time period heavily influenced him and would also reflect in his outfits

All in all, Thanos is a very layered character for me and I think he’s so … endearing. He’s the perfect mix of unhinged and underlying softness. His mannerisms make me giggle, and his anger did make me sad and horny

I loved his character and wish there was more of him, but I do think that his character wrapped up in a little bow. It gave me things to think about without being handed to me. And that’s why this analysis is SO FUN! It’s all just a thought process and it’s all just personal opinions.. which I think is so fun!

I know this was kind of all over the place and rushed but I needed it to be because my mind is going haywire.

If you read all of this, thanks for reading, I hope you found it somewhat enjoyable :)