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So, "never feel like we don't want you here or that we won't help you" basically turned to fuck off go somewhere else.

2.) It’s damn near impossible for me to really trust someone because most people are only around or there for you when things are going good.

I honestly have no clue how much longer I can support the weight of all of this.

1.) One of the things I struggle with the most is explaining myself. I wish people were able to just read my mind so they’d understand what I can’t put into words.

"Everybody wants a reason for everything. It's so much easier with someone or something to blame. I've always struggled at the root of the problem. Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense? I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy. I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason. I guess that's why I've always turned to writing it down. Not just in stories but the letters in between. I guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything. To self-examine, I think the thing is that I shut off from everything. From friends and family and my own ambitions. From having fun, I just shut off from everything. Self defeating? Yeah, probably but I didn't know I had total control over it."

And so it begins. .