An Anxious Introvert

My boyfriend and I are at the pier with friends. There are lots of amusement rides. I don't like them because I don't like all the people watching me, what if I do something wrong? Everyone will see it and I'll never forget it. There is a huge line, our friends say it's the busiest they've seen it. Great. Not only is my anxiety through the roof, my introversion is making it hard to keep up. So many sights and sounds and to pay attention to. My chest is so heavy. My eyes are tired and my throat feels tight. They are about to get on the ride. Im left on the sidelines again, anxious and shaking. My boyfriend got mad at me for not wanting to go on the ride. He thinks I won't be having fun on the sidelines. Trust me, I have way more fun watching and being comfortable. My hands are still shaking. I guess he understands now. I took a long trip to the bathroom just to have a space of my own. No crowds, no judgement, just myself. Days like this make me wonder why I ever leave the house at all.