CONCLAIVE . . . take me back, oh, drunken gods of slaughter, you know i've always been your favorite daughter. well, can you see me? i cannot see you, everything i thought i knew is falling out of view. and if i run fast enough, could i break apart, as empires crumble and cathedrals flatten in my heart?
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maybe being so trusting is part of the small-town charm people like to talk about. even in his tiny town back when he was still human, even though his mama's saloon was a place of community, it'd been knocked into him by her to be careful of anyone who came in. no eye contact unless they were regulars, and even then, walk on eggshells. this girl had no such fears, though he can't tell if she'd never had that kind of thing hammered into her or if she simply didn't care. with a blink, she's in their booth and talking their ear off. silas blinks, nodding along as she goes on about cellulose or whatever. momentary stupor gone, they speak. “ uh, you're gettin' kinda fancy with it. i was thinking more like, i've had cornbread my entire life and never had a cornbread-shaped poop, so logic says cornbread's safe to eat. ” good fucking lord, that has to be the most insane sentence that's ever left his mouth. he glances at the milkshake they bring her, cherries perfectly stacked. another memory rises unbidden, the jar of cherries his mama always kept stacked for him at the bar. his teeth gnash together for a moment, slipping the thought away. they were not about to get sentimental while this girl was talking about corn poop. “ well, getting constipated's not a problem anymore. all those fancy meds to help people go to the bathroom. maybe evolution knew we'd eventually create iced coffee. ” the way she keeps glancing at his plate makes him think she's feeling more than a little hungry. how exhausting to keep what would actually fill her a secret. “ aisha. ” he tests the name out on his tongue, nods. a gesture towards himself : “ silas. father romero's a friend, yeah. can't imagine what made him want to take a job here. no offense. ” he glances around. “ just too… small. you ever been to a city ? ”
it only takes five minutes to scope him out. the illusion of making herself seem inviting and unquestioning allows her to mark them while they remain clueless on the fact. it was a practiced notion, learned from a too young age, but there was that same rush of encountering an unknown. “ oh! ohhhhh, that does make sense. now that i think about it, i have had cornbread before and didn't poop out whole corn once it digested. you should've said something before i did all that research! ” wiggling in the seat, she makes herself at home in the booth. if he had meant for the interaction to be a simple meet and greet, they'd be pressed at the fact it turned into company at dinner. another sip at the milkshake and it's half gone in the glass. “ it was actually the french. during the battle of mazagran, they had a milk shortage so instead they mixed water and coffee to help them out with the heat. which is craaazy because who the hell is worried about coffee in an active battle? anyways, the soldiers went back to france after and would ask for cold coffee at cafes and shit. boom, iced coffee became a thing. thank you to the french! apparently, they've created a lot of shit i hold near and dear to my heart. or, they say they have. some people say french people are liars. do you know anyone whose french that i can question? i mean, ask. ” dimples pop at the side of her wide grin. swift movement causes the glass of water to filter in his space and their plate to lean in the direction of the girl. “ silas. that's latin, for man of the forest. ” she can't help the, miniature, amused smile that is downcast at the table at his words. marrow was small, for lack of better words. she'd thought the same thing when she first arrived. if they spread out their arms they'd be able to reach an end of the town with each arm. but, it grew on her. still, she remembers being a part of the big city. so, she answers as she scoots closer to his plate of food, “ mmmhm, from the big apple. i'm just a transplant to marrow. moved here at ten when the police came banging on the door arresting my mom for about five different warrants she had out. most of them were for fraud, one for scamming i think? don't know. it was either come to marrow and find my bum father or get put into the system. i said noooo thank you, i didn't feel like dealing with whatever trauma would've came out of that. decided small town trauma is easier to handle, don't y'think? ” her head is swinging around the place, looking for the employee that would deliver her usual order, while her fingers sneak off some curly fries from the clearly untouched plate. “ where are you from? big city livin' or were you a small town runaway? ” handful of fries stuffed into her mouth as she prods.
her words do nothing but elicit a pained groan from him. he really needs to delete tiktok off her phone or something : already memories of her last dinner recipe start swarming his mind. still, he can't help but ask, “ what the hell makes it a garden edition ? isn't cowboy caviar just beans ?” he's not about to get into intricate details of edamame versus peas. he'll let her figure that out. there's another flash of pain, his eyes squeezing shut until he feels aisha place a proper ice pack to his skin. “ thank you. ” low murmur, the cold offering a brief relief. there's a part of him that wants to protest. always wants to be the one to take care of her instead of having her take care of him, even for something as small as a migraine. they'd been happening more and more often, the two of them practically taking turns trying to ease the other's aches. browns open again, the tv's lowered volume both soothing and earning aisha another glare. “ like two hours. it started at work. s'not that bad. ” he adds the last bit quickly, like he feels it's something he needs to cement in her. “ must be the last few overtime shifts i've taken. capitalism kills and all that. ”
the agony that sounds from the body laid out causes a winning smile to showboat on her face. she shouldn't find joy in poking at the bear but it's instinctual. and even though she's sure he doesn't truly want an answer to his question, she responds anyways, “ garden edition means you use a bunch of healthy shit! like, regular cowboy caviar is a corn and bean salsa? but garden edition adds in a bunch more veggies and shit. i don't know! i'm just making it ‘cause tiktok is! ” regardless, he’d eat it when she finally gets in the kitchen and makes it. maybe he wouldn't like it, but she knew he'd eat it. a quiet hum in response to his murmur, she doesn't allow her eyes to stray from his face. she knew how he wanted her to react. he'd prefer for her to continue walking, to let him suffer in silence, to not concern herself over anything that troubled him. it was easy to allow her brother to believe he was the sole protector of their family most days, she knew he needed that, but it wasn't entirely true. aisha cared for her siblings more than she cared for herself. so she didn't particularly like the current situation. “ oh, well, i've got a solution! no more overtime shifts. ” tone deadpan, features tight as she looks down on him from her standing position. realistically, she knew it was a losing battle. “ the migraines aren't letting up. it's been a couple of weeks. should i drive you up to the hospital? maybe they can give you medicine. something stronger than the excedrin you've been popping. ”
doesn't matter how many weeks past or how well she knew the returned, helena still finds it difficult to fully keep her composure whenever she's faced with one. aisha's smile is bright and wrong all at once, because she should be six feet under. she does her best to match the smile, trying to channel how at ease she used to be around aisha. “ i've been given strict orders by your siblings not to give you any sweets before you've had a meal. besides, sweets before a meal can spoil the whole thing, haven't you heard ? ” that a sweet tooth could survive death was fascinating. “ but you or diya can come over to the bed and breakfast later and i'll get ‘em for you. ” she was less close with the younger sibling, but diya was like helena : alive. she clears her throat, glancing around bear paw. the diner always felt like it was filled to the brim, except for that brief moment in time when residents started dropping like flies. now there were too many familiar faces. “ anything… new, lately ? how’ve you been ? ”
it's easy to tug the ridley towards the open bar stools once they're inside, a pastime between the pair, knuckles tapping out a rhythm on the countertop. “ sheeessh, it's strict out here! you shouldn't even bother listening to them, they're just trying to spoil my bits of happiness in this cold, dark, world! ” ever the dramatic, she sighs longingly. “ and i don't believe in that spoiling appetite myth! that's just something parents spit out! but, sure, i'll pop into the bed and breakfast later, i've been meaning to see if your parents needed any help around there. ” brown eyes skim over the array of options on the plastic covered menu, more to keep her mind occupied rather than taking it in. she knew the menu back to front, side to side, by memory. “ new? mmm, not really. it's been same old, same old. tattooing, aggravating kolya, attempting whatever new tiktok trend i see, ” though lately it seemed as if the community of marrow was against that notion. they used to smile and shake their heads in jest at her tiktok antics, now they almost seemed frightened. “ what about you? what's new with you? pick up a new animal? ” gaze meets the others head on, careful to not talk or showcase anything about the elephants in the room. estelle. and the way helena has carefully avoided aisha as of late.
closed starter for aisha fedorov al-kattani @conclaive … !
when she looks at her sister, she sees a star – really, when she looks at all of her siblings, that is what she sees. stars, guiding lights. diya once heard that most of the stars visible on earth are already dead, so far away that their final blaze is still crossing the galaxy to light the night sky. she looks at aisha and sees that plainly: a star that’s already dead, still shining in her eyes.
“ aisha, ” she says, a bit too close to sounding mournful. how do you talk to someone who is already dead ? “ do you want to watch a movie ? i’m bored. ”
if she was being smart, on her usual p's and q's, the sensation of eyes categorizing each feature on her skin would put her on alert. she's learned from a young age how to read situations, people, places. but she's also learned how to drop that when she's around her siblings. her mind, and body, recognize that she's safe around them so there is no need to question the expressions on her sisters face or her body language at the moment. still, there is a pause at the melancholic way her sister forms her name. head slowly raising to meet the others eyes, “ a movie? i guess we could, but are you going to get annoyed when i make my commentary? ‘cause if you are, we’re better off finishing this puzzle. ”
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where : bear paw, where he's currently pretending to enjoy a meal. that is, his plate is untouched.
a fascinating thing to witness : the difference between the remnants and the returned. how some diner patrons go quiet when the wrong person walks in. except this wrong person doesn't seem to notice. her wide smile steps into the place before she does, and she continues her step unperturbed, uncaring for anyone who might flinch when she looks their way or any whispers that trail her. a glance meant to last seconds causes him to pause on her. he remembers her, from the potluck, talking to yasmina too loudly.
before they can stop themself, they're waving her over to sit with him. if she notices his plate is untouched, he'll make up an excuse. say the food's bad or something. the moment she steps closer, he speaks : “ you're the cornbread poop girl. ” not his smoothest form of identifying someone, but he wasn't the one yelling about bathroom rituals in the middle of a meal. “ you know that's not actually how it works, right ? ”
the route to bear paw from carved was one that the tattoo artist could make with her eyes closed, though she could argue that was the case for any place in marrow, but it was a subconscious decision for her feet to take her there after every shift. habitual, at this point. bell above the door ringing in her arrival, movements light as she makes it through the entrance. despite knowing every corner of the diner, she still finds herself scanning it as if checking for anything that would be out of place. she catches movement in her peripheral, a wave that beckons her to the shore. she should feel cautious about approaching someone she can't place. instead she easily replies, “ that's me! ” no hesitation in joining the stranger nor the subject matter they seemed to recognize her for. she slips into the booth with ease, eyes roaming the area to see if her sister was on shift, handing out a smile to anyone who met her gaze before drifting back into the conversation. “ oh i know! i looked it up when i got home because i was questioning it myself! turns out the presence of cellulose, a tough and supposedly indigestible fiber that makes up the outer casing of corn, is why when we poop it out it comes out whole! but since cornbread doesn't, typically, have whole kernels in them, we don't poop it out with cornbread! google did say not all kernels will come out whole in your poop too, but i'm wondering why we digest corn to begin with if it's hard to break down in our stomachs? ” a pause in her words as a chocolate shake with extra whipped cream and six cherries is placed in front of her. she beams her thank you to the server on shift, not surprised that they knew what she wanted without her ordering. curls bounce as she leans forward taking a big gulp of the milkshake, only stopping when a glass of water is slid on the table. she frowns at the glass of water, turning her attention back to the person before her, cherry squeezing between her teeth as she continues on as if there had never been an interruption. “ 'cause i feel like won't that catch up to us at some point? won't we get constipated, or something? i never thought about it before, since i don't eat corn that much, but now it's on my mind. i'm still researching it all, i'll let you know what i find out! ” delicately holding onto the stem, three cherries are dipped into the whipped cream and consumed quickly as she steals glances at the full plate of food on the table. “ i'm aisha, by the way! you came into town with father romero, right? what was your name? ”
where : home sweet home's living room, with the television blaring a random sports game.
“ don't say a word. ” warning slips from his mouth before a hello does. he's already glaring at aisha from where he lies on the couch, the picture of grouchiness, a frozen pack of peas pressed to his head. he hadn't gotten a headache this splitting in so long he'd nearly forgotten what they felt like. this one had come out of nowhere, sudden and spiteful, and now he'd lain suffering until his sister came in. the tv blaring wasn't helping his condition… but he wanted to make sure he saw his team win. “ and keep the lights low. please. ”
the bad - tempered words and laser eyes do nothing to the girl, no falter in her steps as she rounds the sofa to snatch the frozen peas from a loose grip, but the booming sound of the announcers on the television screen cause her face to scrunch up. she won't listen to his order of no words, but she'll at least comply with not turning on the lights. “ helllloooo, why are you using my peas as an ice pack?! i'm using these for a cowboy caviar recipe, garden edition, that i saw on tiktok! i'm using the peas as a substitute for edamame, they're like the same thing except separated and not in those sacks! you better not have mushed them up! ” fingers squeeze at the near room temperature bag as if checking the quality, eyes rolling into the back of her head as she walks to the kitchen exchanging the peas for an actual ice pack. she slips it into his hand, bringing it up to the previous placement. she didn't like the visibility of the discomfort on her brothers face. it was unlike him. they'd both been suffering from head pain recently, something she had chalked up to allergies, she hoped his wasn't getting worse. “ what's wrong? another headache? ” a glance from the body sprawled across the couch to the television showcases her question on how the brightness from the screen is any help. she grabs the remote that laid on his collarbone, lowering the volume. “ how long have you been like this? ”
where : just outside bear paw. clock's five to 11, and shouldn't aisha be at work ? oh well !
“ hello, you. ” she tugs at the hem of aisha's shirt as she pops up behind the other, all practiced smiles. here was a returned she had more than complicated feelings about : sometimes aisha was like a little sister, and sometimes she was a reminder that helena's sister was gone. nikolai and aisha might have died, but coming back meant they had each other, and it took everything in her to pretend she wasn't constantly seething with jealousy. sometimes helena thought the problem wasn't that estelle was gone, but that she'd left without her.
nevertheless, she's all bright pretense for aisha. “ knew i'd find you here. listen, i made some blondies last night. you want some ? they're a little burnt… ” and too salty, somehow, she doesn't add. “ …but they're yours if you want 'em. for you and nikolai and diya. ”
self - proclaimed truest, most loyal, customer to bear paw, there was never a day that aisha didn't show up to the establishment. it confused the townspeople that she didn't work there with the amount of time she spent in the diner. she had attempted it, when she was in high school. bear paw and the girl mutually agreed it wasn't a fit after a two week trial run that ended in various smashed plates because she was trying to balance multiple plates in her arms, incorrect orders because she thought she knew what the customer wanted better than they did, and various times where she asked patrons to scoot over so she could join in their conversations and dinner. at least she walked away with a few bear paw t - shirts that she refused to return. hand stretched out to pull on the door of the diner, a tug on her tee stops her in motion, head turning to the back to catch a glimpse of who it could be. bright smile when she sees a familiar dirty blonde, letting her fall in step with her into the diner. “ sure! ” no use in telling the ridley that it didn't matter whether they were burnt or not, these days she was so hungry she didn't care about the state of the food she ate. either way, her sweet tooth was insane. “ did you bring them with you? i'm a supporter of the dessert before the meal movement. ”
There had been a funeral, Maki remembered, even if those days tended to blur when she thought back to them now; just a mess of black clothes and rain and crying turned to numbness. She was doing a good job of holding it together, she thought. Likely nobody else would agree, but what did that matter?
Case in point: Aisha Federov al-Kattani. Maki hadn't flinched when she struck up conversation, and that counted for something. But then Aisha started talking and all Maki could do was stare at her mouth, thoughts drifting to how it was even possible for it to still be moving. You died like an idiot, she wanted to say. Stay away from treadmills, she wanted to warn. Don't even think about opening TikTok.
“What? No. I was totally listening. Maybe what you were saying just wasn't that interesting.” She shrugged, unapologetic. She thought about pushing Aisha off a cliff just to see if she would crawl her way back again.
silence was not a friend. it was uncomfortable, it was prodding, it was dangerous. she'd learn from a young age the monsters that lived in the shadows, that attacked in silence. maybe that was why nothing about her was quiet. mere steps echoed in spaces, voice travelled throughout, thoughts that never stayed inside. there was comfort in sound. it wrapped around her like a safety blanket. she'd never deny that she was a chatter box. but that meant she knew when someone tuned out of the conversation. sometimes she didn't care, the conversation would go on until she decided to end it. this time, she questioned whether maki had heard a word she said in the last five minutes. deadpan expression as she sips on the drink in hand, the others words not making a crack in her armor. “ you were soooo not listening. i caught you! and that's just a lie, nothing i say is ever uninteresting! you're telling me you don't care about my plans for the zombie apocalypse? ” words coated in shock. she'd been thinking on the scenario for the last three days, laid out four different plans in case the time ever came, she didn't understand how that wouldn't be interesting to maki.
yasmina couldn't stay anywhere forever, but she might choose marrow, if she could. ever sentimental, they liked how close-knit it was, how tight they all held onto each other. it was as bitter as it was sweet, but she could pretend, at least in their own head, that it was only sweet. wouldn't it be nice, a town of once-dead now-not, living together and taking care of each other? forever and ever?
it was a fleeting fantasy, half-thought and not even really felt. yasmina had a role to play here, but that didn't mean everyone else did; they were just living their lives and those lives were theirs to live. even in a short life, people couldn't help but step on each other, and that was even truer in a long one. there was no reason that had to happen here, to any of them, and she felt an odd sense of responsibility for a town that had lost so many and had not truly gotten them back. there was no reason to push the knife deeper. it would already take so long for the wound to heal, if it ever truly did.
the presence of someone else reminded them that they were at a party. her smile grew on its own as she stepped out of their way, realizing she was standing in the way of the plates.
"oh, sorry!" they said, stepping to the side. "go ahead, please—have you tried the cornbread yet?"
third refill on the plate and she could only hope that no one noticed, that she wouldn't be deemed greedy for her returns to the table that packed different foods at every inch. it wasn't unlike her to go for seconds but thirds was almost pushing it. maybe it was the scent that lingered in the air from all the food that refused her hunger to be placated. it almost felt beyond her control, the hunger. tip toeing behind a figure, she was in the middle of a mind debate on whether to reach around or simply ask for a little wedge room. it's out of her hands when they turn around. smile returned to the unfamiliar face. she had taken in a lot of new faces around town the last two weeks and especially at the potluck. in a way, the feast could be an olive branch between the community and the guests. she didn't know much about them. they came with father romero, who was filling in for father michael as he vacationed. truthfully, aisha had preoccupied herself more with thoughts on why her friends and neighbors were acting weird than the visitors. but, she didn't mind helping out the welcoming committee. “ nope, ” lips popping the answer out, “ i try to stay away from corn! it doesn't sit right with me that when you poop it out it's still in its complete form, y'know? that's just wrong. ” a frozen moment as it clicks that the stranger in front of her might have been the one to have supplied it to the table. damn, there goes that same home training she hung on her brother about. “ errrrm, did you make the cornbread? ‘cause i’ll try it if you did! one weird poop won't stop me, trust! here, slap a piece onto the plate! ” arm extending the plate already filled to the brim out at the unknown.
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ayana hated being on edge, but at least it was for a familiar reason, this time; her mom wouldn't stop piling her plate with food. she was always so worried to offend by accidentally skipping over someone's pride and joy and ayana loved her too much to not humor her. unfortunately, that meant her plate was overflowing before she'd been able to get away, and that turned literal at the worst moment, mashed potatoes slopping off of her plate and onto someone's shoes.
"fuck," she said, then quickly realized that was another mistake, hurrying to correct with, "no, i mean—sorry. i mean sorry. i'm so sorry."
it wasn't the first rodeo for a potluck in marrow, and it wouldn't be the last. in a community so small, they never missed a chance to break bread with each other. father michael excelled at bringing the town together and it seemed father romero wanted to keep that alive. maybe it would burst that awkward bubble that had settled over town in the last two weeks. she was desperate for that to be the case. so desperate that it led her to a familiar face, one that always indulged in a shit talking form with her. no thought to consequences that could come from sneaking up behind. “ nooooo, my clogs! ” head down to peek at the suede shoes on her feet, toes wiggling through the material, “ who made the mashed potatoes, do y'know? ‘cause depending on who made it, this will be an easy out or thirty minutes in hell. ” it didn't truly matter. not to her. with her luck, she'll drop another five or six things on her shoes by the end of the event. “ don't think i've ever heard you apologize, for anything, though. this is a fun discovery! hold on, let me grab my phone and i'll record it so i can play it back whenever i want you to be wrong in situations! ”
well. her confession explained why the cashiers always tried to offer him those teas that help you go to the bathroom. the comment earns her a not-so-rare middle finger, the second one today. “ you're the smiley one between us. it's only odd if you aren't all happy. ” a rare occurrence, one that usually means he's agitated, too. an unspoken rule in marrow : you didn't fuck with kolya's sisters. “ i had someone jump almost five feet in the air when i walked too close. didn't realize my face was that hideous. ” while she yaps, he opens the tray just enough to pluck out a sandwich for himself. he finds he's more ravenous than usual these days, nothing quite filling that void of hunger. tells himself it's his anxiety — at least, that's what his trusty therapist google tells him when he looks up ‘keep eating still hungry why’. but even one of bear paw's usually excellent sandwiches feels a little hollow when he bites into it. with his mouth full, all uncouth just to gross her out a little : “ wouldn't you like to know ? ” the truth : it had been the notifications. growing up with a man with sticky fingers meant one had to learn to keep an eye on valuables before they went missing for good. but when it came to his sisters, to aisha specifically, he became a little oblivious. he didn't consider it stealing, when half the reason he spent almost full-day shifts at the shop was to make sure they had everything they needed. but that didn't mean he wouldn't have her second guessing her pickpocketing skills a little as revenge for plucking his card out of his wallet. “ next time you take it, you'd better shut off the payment notifications. thought my identity got stolen 'til i saw a giant bear paw order. ”
with a scrunched nose, there is no stopping the genuine grin that comes out at the appearance of a wiggling middle finger courtesy of kolya. and it isn't the signature aisha smile, the one that she began practicing at the age of ten for the residents of marrow and has become so natural all would believe it to be real. a smile she easily shows to neighbors, classmates, residents as they pass each other on the street. she's known for that constant smile, that energy that radiates. but that isn't what she gives her brother. he gets the unfiltered version of her, the worst and the best of her. it's why she doesn't bother addressing the smiley comment, latching onto his next statement like a shark. “ if you're fishing for compliments, i'm not telling you that you don't look hideous. we've talked about this, low self esteem is not something i'll tolerate in my siblings! but i'll give you a tip! sometimes you walk around like you're the fucking terminator. maybe that's why they jumped five feet in the air! ” her eyes track his movements as he helps himself to a sandwich. a little sweet talking and being bear paw's loyalest customer, her words verbatim, allowed her the leeway of using the cooks for her contribution to the potluck. and even though she had a plate of grilled cheese with fries and an entire bar of cake, she finds herself still having room for a sandwich. or two. or three. “ ewww! chew with your mouth closed, you heathen! is safaa here? i'm telling her you've forgotten your home training! ” though recent interactions with her step - mother have her believe the conversation will include a lot of staring. on safaa's part, to aisha. spark of mischief lightens her eyes and cloaks her smirk. “ what would be the fun in turning off your notifs? i want you to see that i stole your card! consider it, some lessons in loss prevention! in a way, me taking your card is me helping you! you're so welcome, brother. ” and, she knows, he allows it. as if he knows those little acts of petty thievery help her not lose herself in a wickedness she believes rests in her bones. neither will tell each other that though. her, for fear that one day he'll only see their father in her.
where : sanctuary church, the clock creeping towards 8pm.
he’s been looking for aisha since he arrived, knowing she’d be edging in after work. it’s a habit he’s had since he was a child, to know where his sisters were, like a mother duck ringing in ducklings. the moment he sees her, relief bleeds through him, tension in his shoulders releasing. makes his way towards her before anyone else can steal her attention. “ if you’re wondering if everybody’s still trying to act like they aren’t bein’ weird, the answer’s yes. so just smile and pretend they aren’t being weird, so they don’t feel bad. ” attention is quickly stolen by the tray of sandwiches she’s brought to the potluck — if kolya knows anything about his sister, it’s that she didn’t make those damn sandwiches. “ is this what you were usin’ my card for ? ”
there had been no real reason to stay the entirety of her shift, carved had cleared out thirty minutes before five to make the potluck on time, but the few hours of solitude had helped the tension that lingered since she had walked in. she didn't know why everyone in the tattoo parlor still looked shocked each time she walked through the doors and it was starting to grate on her nerves. add in the recent headaches and neck pain she'd been feeling, and well she hadn't really felt like showing up. but where the town of marrow gathered, she followed. she couldn't slink into the shadows now, not when she'd never lived in them, but strolling in fashionably late didn't hurt. peace offering in hand, she makes her way into the church with a bright smile already glued onto her face, one hand waving from the bottom of the aluminum tray. the mixed form of a scoff and snort when her attention is stolen by her brother. “ you're telling me that? you're the one who is allergic to smiling, you make the cashiers at the market feel bad! i've had to tell them you have constant constipation! ” well, she didn't have to tell them. she decided to. easily, and happily. with that same ridiculous smile on her face that he's asking for now. tray squished to her chest in defense. she did use his card, but he could at least pretend to have some tact and not say it where anyone could hear! jeeeezus. “ can't confirm nor deny. but, tell me this, did you notice your card was gone or did you get a notification on your phone? i haven't pick - pocketed you in a while, but i know i haven't lost my touch! ”
𓉸 marrow's own AISHA FEDEROV AL - KATTANI, age twenty6, passed away on APRIL 29. loved ones report that they were extremely CHARISMATIC and express discontent with rumors that describe them as EXAGGERATED. according to town gossip, their death was due to DEATH BY TREADMILL, an attempt to recreate a tiktok resulted in insane moves while on an active treadmill that ended with a snapped neck — which is strange, because i could have sworn that i saw them at BEAR PAW DINER last night.
♱ PINTEREST. ♱ STATS. ♱ MEMOIR.
undoubtedly, people have displayed strange behavior around you recently. what do you think of it?
that signature aisha smile drops for a moment, eyebrows stringing together as she thinks deeply on the way the town has acted. “so, at first, i just chalked it up to me showing up to church on a day that wasn’t thanksgiving, christmas, or whatever saint’s day it is. i thought it was a little funny, all the glances and everything, plus the whole town was at church that day!” truthfully, she doesn’t remember what compelled her to go, she was as shocked as everyone else to be sitting in the pew on some random sunday. but once she’d realize everyone was there, she figured it had been some mandatory town thing. “but then i go into work the next day and everyone’s shocked? hellllooo, i’m the best employee up in there!” those brows finally drop, and instead of the signature aisha smile, there’s a glimpse of something softer. real. “okay, well, i do clock in faithfully! and it’s only continued! it’s small, weird stuff. so small, i almost shouldn’t notice it but i do! i’m like spider-woman, with these senses.” those eyebrows talk again, wiggling, in jest. “they didn’t even act this way when i plopped myself down in marrow sixteen years ago, by the way! fuck, i’m wondering if i acted a fool at new years? or maybe a birthday party? i genuinely cannot remember, which means i definitely did something i wasn’t supposed to! my motto in those times? don’t ask. they’ll get over whatever i did... i’m sure of it! no one here can stay mad at this face for too long!“
select a virtue & sin. relate it to your muse.
diligence. you’ve never been one to give up. you’ll continue until you get something right, until you’ve done what you have to. and it has to be you who does it. you won't accept help. maybe it's pride, maybe it's a way to protect what little of your life you can control. you were raised in a dog eat dog world, in a jungle, and you knew that being persistent meant getting to eat. getting a night's sleep. you don’t mind hard work, you like it. you like the role of an under - dog, you like knowing that what comes out of your life you’ve made happen, one way or another. you find joy in that, you find satisfaction in the work you do. it doesn’t matter what life throws at you, you’ll find a way to survive.
greed. but there has to be a limit. you can’t want, and want, and want. you were raised to take, but you knew there was only so much you could have. it’s when more gets introduced to you, that you get greedy. a small town shouldn't fill you up more than a big city can, but it does. and you need to be humble. one snap and everything can go away. and it can't. not now, maybe not ever. there's an underlying thirst that can never be fully quenched. you don’t stop, because there’s more you can have if you don’t.
select a label for your muse & explain why it relates to them.
the facade. there’s many faces to aisha. some that even this town, that she’s been in long enough to know more than she ever did in new york, don’t know. because it’s easy to wear a mask, to become someone else, to be whoever you think someone wants you to be. to be digestible. she has no shame in hiding behind a persona, and it’s constructed so well that no one really has to know about the lingering anger, hurt, doubt, insecurity. the crookedness, that's what her mother use to call it. all they need to know is brave aisha, larger than life aisha, returned aisha.
the icarian. there’s a freedom that comes with living in marrow. it’s a small town, everyone knows everyone, and everyone tells everyone’s business. but that’s what gives you the freedom. you get to be reckless, you get to be impulsive, because they’ve known that. they’ve gotta accept it. you begin to realize, they even say your name with a little laugh. there's a charm there, to you, they believe. you don't know how they see it and your mother never did. your father never has. but there’s no bodies to hide behind, so you embrace anything. and when you’re being adventurous, that’s when you feel alive.
the intangible concept. a lot of people think they love you, a lot of people think they know you. but you’ve held yourself guarded that you’re not sure how to shed skin and show a rawness you’ve never let them be privy to. the girl who talks louder than anyone else, but says everything about herself in the softest tone it goes unheard. the girl who helps everyone out, but no one realizes she’s helped herself too. the girl who knows everyone, but who knows you? do you know you anymore?