河聪 open to suggestion.

man is regressing to the cave dwelling – but in an estranged, repugnant form. The savage in his cave – an element of nature which is freely available for his use and shelter – does not experience his environment as alien; he feels just as much at home as a fish in water. But the poor man’s basement dwelling is an uncongenial element, an “alien, restrictive power which only surrenders itself to him at the expense of his sweat and blood".

I tell myself: I am going to die, but this means nothing, since I cannot manage to believe it and I can only experience other people’s death. I have seen people die. Above all, I have seen dogs die. It was touching them that overwhelmed me. Then I think of flowers, smiles, the desire for women, and realize that my whole horror of death lies in my anxiety to live. I am jealous of those who will live and for whom flowers and the desire for women will have their full flesh and blood meaning. I am envious because I love life too much not to be selfish.