𝑸. HOW TO HEAL?

                                             𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐕𝐒 𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄．

         ❛❛   oh  yes  ,  i remember that very well . i still have them , you know   —   the rubies . such a beautiful shade of red .   ❜❜          pressed into breast pocket they glint sightlessly like blood , little beaded droplets glittering almost spectrally , blue and pink and red . encased to roll between finger and thumb , to watch the inner liquid succumb to gravity the singular bubble wandering a crack into the shell . magnificent . he’d stem all wounds with them , if he could , the perfect capping of artery how viscous gore would ooze around them , abhorrently engorged , to almost exhale relief as pulsing flow pushed them forth into the vein .           ❛❛   i’ve never seen anything like it .   ❜❜          

his mouth dries , then , watches as lilith her fingers snake over him , choking and choking . galleon heart glows to blaze the tubes of his guts , but it isn’t sweet . it’s carnal , repulsive ; shameful in his basal desire how constitution bends with naught but the teasing coax of her nails   (   a promise and he swears his own how he’ll make her keep it   )   .   wants to eat her whole , as he leans into her . elbow - to - elbow and it’s the most of innocent touches they’ll ever share , cursed in their bloodlust how they seek penitence in raw and weeping flagellation , made to bless the vertebrae   [   “ open yourself up to me , or i’ll do it for you “ , as on the clementia . the fetid and ritualistic breath of her name as he had spoke it ; “ i know every ugly thing about you , baby  —  every bloated corpse , i’ve seen it “   ]   .   a ceremonial blade fitting how plasma would slip into the sweeping grooves , bursting tiny slivers of gold . he’d tear her limb from perfect limb just to hear her scream for it ; force her against the headboard and rut her into the wall , the mattress , anywhere . tear open the rotting ribcage and smatter the sheets with her blood . blue and pink and red .

strangers indeed . lip quirks a grin , though it’s insipid . dead behind the eyes .

         ❛❛   that bullet was made of gold  —  i wasn’t about to go leaving it inside of you . that would have been more than you deserved .   ❜❜          

treachery is their language , intimate how every shadow , every bait and trap tears straight from the torso a fat and bloody maw . stripping away and away until only bones remain , and even then teeth crack to suck away at the marrow . every last piece an inevitable , filthy part of the other   (   and they cannot be anything but this   )   . he’s half listening , tongue bitten to copper inside his mouth as mechanik limb slips around her waist , and he whispers  —  a horrible contiguity of hatred dripping toxic nectar from metal teeth . searing and loathsome , unnatural lingering adoration .          ❛❛   it doesn’t surprise me that you know them . you’ll open your legs for anybody .   ❜❜          

❛❛  why do you think i wanted them?      practically crystallized blood,  are they not?   but  of  course..  i’m  the  bad  guy  when  i  steal  them.   you can take  whatever  you want.   ❜❜   vicious  cycle,  bloated tongues purple from maggots and rot.   soft,  dark  spots  ripening on flesh;  marbling like fruit.   gone  bad,  too  many  hands  squeezing  and  touching,  everyone else’s hands inside of her.   bruise  me,  break  me.

she’d  bleed  out,  stain diamonds  crimson  to be  freed  from this.   fruity  ripe  flesh,  she is.   forcing her way into people’s mouths and  begging  to be devoured.   the  demand  to be harmed,  jamming fingers into fresh scabs and peeling open old scars.   an effortless death it would be:   bleeding out in his bed,  broken limbs and guts splayed out for the world to see.   how  easy,  how  romantic.     ❛❛  you’re right.   i deserve your  disgusting,  unbecoming  body  but not that.   you can  rot  inside of me,  press yourself  deep  between my flesh but i’m too corrosive for gold.  ❜❜

clustered saliva,  body detached.   how  easy —— how  easy  it  is  to  fall  back.   discolouration lining her skin,  cracking open her hips to burrow into the rich marrow of her bone.   [blood boiling and bubbling from her lips,   “open  my  thighs  when  you  do it.   i’m  your  baby,  your  feral  bitch.”   swollen tongue,  black and blue.   ragged nails pouring into open wounds,  nicking at capillaries and arteries alike.   “how  cute. . .   you  know  the  ugly  trail  i  left  behind  but  not  the  one  that  made  me.”]

❛❛  i’m  cheap  and  filthy ——  ❜❜     curled into him,  tender & tucked into the  curve  of  his  arm,  pressed against his chest.   illusion of  romance,  easily mistaken by prying eyes.   i  want  you  to  tear  me  apart.   poking and prodding,  like digging fingers into joints to separate flesh from bone.   glittered medusa with a mouth and eyes of tears,  wrenched and wrecked joints,  tiredness settled in.   [bile  in  her  throat,  fleshy,  bloody  and  eaten  by  rats.   popping  fingers  from  sockets  bent  back,  terror-filled  screeches;  some  feral  wounded  animal —— “this  is  what  love  is,  get  used  to  it.”   her neck  nearly  cracked itself].