No exaggeration but theeeee most critical lesson I learned in my 20s was letting go when it was time. It’s so cliche but it’s so true. I used to hold on so venomously to people, put on a tap dance for their approval, force relationships to last past their expiration date, carry the heavy lifting for reaching out because I didn’t want to feel “passive.” But when someone doesn’t want your effort it’s not about passivity. It’s literally about self respect, not wasting your time, and gravitating only to people who have your best interest in mind and celebrate you. I’ve met so many older people who don’t know how to let go and it truly scares me that this could easily be me. It’s better to develop this skill early than it is to spend an entire lifetime begging for love and belonging.

Best brain hack is taking “this too shall pass” and applying it in the micro. The panic you feel from an argument with a friend, wanting to get on your phone when you should be studying, the absolute obsession with someone you’re crushing on, pain from rejection, utter hopelessness at a situation that is not entirely hopeless. Heavy on situations that induce panic and incentivize you to act out of turn, maybe to send a text you shouldn’t be sending or to blow up at someone or whatever it is. The antidote to knee jerk reactions is literally just “this too shall pass” and allowing yourself to feel the physical manifestation of your extreme emotion. Literally just ride it out. Even for things that can’t immediately be resolved, it makes such a big difference and prevents you from reacting in ways that you would undoubtedly regret down the line.