Go With The Flow 🌊

When I went for this job I was full of confidence in my skills and abilities, I believed in myself and my knowledge… 5 weeks in and I'm shattered…

I don't feel confident at all with the processes and systems, I'm struggling with learning them in the training format we have (a big teams call and reading a powerpoint/sticking to a traini g brief with no real world examples)! I’m overwhelmed with the amount of info we are having to take in on a daily basis and my head feels like its gonna burst. To top it all off I'm not gelling with my training team, people have formed friendships and connections, then there's me who just feels like a nuisance.

I was talking to my partner recently about how I'm a nervous anxious guy (especially in new/foreign situations) and its so much more evident when I look back and analyze things. Like in the early days of this job I sat on my own because of my anxiety, I ate lunch on my own (I still do now), I didn't engage or go for wanders with the group on my lunch. I opted to ostracize myself because that's what my head told me is best and now look at it. No wonder no one really talks to me unless its a question or technical help. I can say its because they are younger or just different but reality is its my own doing! I really am my own worst enemy and don't blame the team for not replying or engaging with my messages.

When week 4 of my training has been information overload, my heads battered, I'm tired and just drowning in information, there's nothing better then getting cuddles from this fluff ball!