let's lock the world outside

this is the funniest 8 seconds of television that has ever aired like this show was something else

the camera man lost it when they synced 😂

Imagine typing out this letter and not stopping halfway and thinking “Hmmm, this makes me sound like the worst human being in the world.”

i’m dating an astrophysicist

The Dictator (2012)

For 20 minutes.

“I told her she wouldn’t like salt & vinegar chips.” (via julsmadison)

I know someone on Tumblr has already posted about the S'mores Indoors Pizza, but it’s one of the funniest things on earth to me. I have been unable to breathe laughing for minutes at a time because of this absolute abortion of a pizza. The thought of people going to the store, deciding to buy this innocuous dessert pizza, and then having their dinner/evening pretty much ruined is hilarious to me. The fact that it melts through the oven racks when it explicitly tells you to place the pizza directly on the rack. Imagine someone taking four of these travesties to a church dinner, making a marshmallowy mess of the oven, trying to cut the pizza and half the shit comes off, and then it’s unbelievably spicy. The spiciness is the funniest part though. Peoples’ “mouths and throats” burning from this Guy Fieri S'mores pizza, like it’s not just a tad too much cinnamon, it fucking burns you. Like an entire family eagerly taking first bites of their pizza and then they all burst into coughing fits like they’ve been poisoned. It’s just so damn funny like…how did he make it that spicy?? How could he have possibly fucked up that bad? What terrible planning/execution led to this abomination? Did he not try his own pizza first? More importantly, did Guy Fieri try his spicy shitty pizza and say ‘Mmm fuck yea that’s perfect’ ? It’s just so catastrophic, I really wonder if a chaos entity or immortal prankster quietly placed several rows of S'mores Pizza in Sam’s Clubs across the country and sat back to see the results.