Tell me im funny

so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.

I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me

In the State Farm commercial ‘Never’, a man professes he will never get married, have kids, or buy a minivan, but does all those things. The last thing he says is “I’m never letting go”, implying he’s about to abandon his family.

I literally think about this every time I see this

Who is she

yall like “I wanna die” like a broken record but a buncha clowns come over wanting to kill you and youre all shitting your pants. hypocrites you are

the day i let fuckin bozo stab me to death is the day i die, pal

well yeah thats how being stabbed to death works

dont make fun of me dude what if a girl sees this

Cute but I woulda lost it 😂

Lmfaooooo the way the bird closed its eyes when he said “you’re beautiful” had me weak.

I would have felt so blessed if was chilling on my arm

*in a thick Chicago accent* “Welcome to Chicago”

i’m not the only one worried he might get into a traffic incident because he was busy filming the bird, was i?

Honestly me

#cancelled