Colours of Me

It had been years since the breach was closed. It had been too many years since that damn wall separated her from the man who freed her from a mundane life of nothingness. Too many times she found herself staring at the blank wall. When they rebuilt the building, she had specifically asked for the room to be left empty. Left it for her. Just in case. Just in case something worked, something happened. Just in case there was a way back. On days like these, she’d walk into the room and plant herself against the wall. She’d sit there for hours and just - talk. She’d talk about any number of things. 

“Did you know that i discovered Huon today? Well technically, Frank did but i helped.”

“Today’s the anniversary of Mum’s death. She’s been gone for a while now. S’ a bit lonely here, ya know? Just me an’ that ol’ dog now. I think she’s getting old too. Soon it’d be just me. Should I adopt a cat? You know we’re developing a species that’ll live for a very long time, but I think it’d be good to have a bit domestics to come home to, don’t you?”

“I miss you.”

“He had your eyes.”

“She was a ginger! Isn’t that grand? John was beyond thrilled.”

“He died today. S’ just me now.” 

“I dreamt of you today. We were in Barcelona. Not the one on Earth. The one you took me to after we fought the Sycorax, remember? It was a good day.” 

“Do you miss me?”

“i thought i saw you t’day. I kept calling but you didn’t turn around.”

There were times when she didn’t speak at all. Everything she wanted to say, everything she needed to say had been said. So she’d sit there and cry until her body went numb. Today was no different. Today she found herself in the same position as she was all those years ago. Her ear pressed against the cold wall. Tears stained her cheeks. 

“Hello? Can you hear me? How are you? i’m doing a’right m’self. I dunno if ya can hear me, Doctor. But if you can, please know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise. i know I promised forever an’ i’m so sorry I couldn’t keep it. Tell me, Doctor. Where did you go? Did you finally fix the emergency brake? I’ve lived a long life. I s’pose this is what it feels like t’ be you. Maybe that’s why you never stayed in one place. I think I understand now, Doctor. I-” A sob broke out. She whimpered pressing the back of her hand to her mouth. “I miss you.”