FIND MY WAY

“I think so,” he shrugged, lightly. The truth was a little less simple than that. He was safer on the sea, so that is where he would stay. “I couldn’t imagine a life without the sea, if it helps.” That part, at least, was true. He gave a throaty chuckle, scratching his throat and nodding his head. “We must celebrate small victories, I suppose. Unless you’re hoping for the crowd to drown me out so you don’t have to pay attention anymore.” 

“I think that goes for many of us, even those that never sail still rely on the trade that ships bring in. We’re more dependent on it nowadays than we like to admit. Only a few shipwrecks away from the empire falling,” she mused, her eyes going distant as she fantasized about the possible cataclysm that would break polite society if they didn’t have their tea or spices. She snapped her attention back to him, and smiled, “I think you’re rather good company, granted, the standard here is not difficult to surpass.” 

“This is ridiculous. Who is in charge here? Are there even any authorities in Tortuga or is it all just anarchy? I have a complaint.” 

a soft chuckle escaped her lips at the other’s statement, ‘ the hypocrisy never ends. ‘ with a curt nod of her head the young woman took yet another sip from her glass, the liquid which should have sent a burning sensation through her system left her feeling numb instead. perhaps, that was a sign that she drank a little too much these days. ‘ well, how are you liking it so far on tortuga? it’s quite something isn’t it? ‘

“every assumption you make about my parents is likely to be correct,” she added with a tight-lipped smile. colette was trying to conceal her bitterness but doing a very poor job of it. “tortuga is a stinky, dirty, rowdy den of thieves, scalawags, and drunkards. . . so far i’d say i like it quite a bit. i’m having some trouble adjusting but it definitely beats wearing panniers and listening to men drone on about estate investments. have you been here long?” 

Jack smirked. It was clear she had a lot to learn about sailors. He didn’t want to patronise her, however, so he merely shrugged in response. “It’s a hard life at sea, even if you’re sober,” he mused, dropping all attempts at teasing her. “You’d be hard pressed to find as much as a quiet corner in Tortuga,” he said, his voice gentler in light of her evident bashfulness. “It isn’t all bad, though, once you’re used to it.” 

“Hopefully a life worthwhile,” she sighed, “Because I feel that life on land might drive me to drink just to numb it all. And if the same goes for the sea then there’s truly no escape,” her lips flickered into a dismal smile, but it looked more like a flinch, “I guess it’ll all  become a dull roar eventually. I’ at the very least glad I can hear you over the crowd. I’ve had one too many conversations where I could not even hear what the other was saying.” 

   Like the keel of a boat, Gerrit cut through the wave of bodies and limbs. They used a chair as a step, and leaped through the air a few feet to shove their foot into the face of a man near the woman with a mighty kick. The man’s body slumped after he slammed into a column, then Gerrit spat a mix of blood and spit on the man’s ratted hair.

River couldn’t help the slight smirk when she responded. “A little fight ain’t gonna kill someone like you. Maybe knock out a tooth, but keep as many of those while you still can. You go’ a spark in you.” A blind man could sense it in the way she carried herself, despite her small size and reluctance to jump blindly into a brawl. He wasn’t in a fighting sort of mood himself, but someone stumbled up and fell into him, so the man turned to shove him away in another direction, where the drunken man began to brawl with someone else. “Y’not here ‘cause you’re a dumbass like tha’ one. But what is it a lass like you seeks out there in the sea, I wonder. Greed? Nah. You’d act like royalty. Maybe revenge. Or adventure.” He glanced around and found an abandoned bottle with presumably rum still in it, then pulled it close, taking a swig like it had been his all along.

"Well, I quite value my teeth and their position in my mouth, thank you very much,” she huffed, “You mistake my undisguised disdain for a spark,” she said, although knowing all the while that her fervent denial of being something special was a novel thing in itself. She did know what was more terrifying, a daunting man such as him insulting her or complimenting her. Hearing him speak of her without venom or disinterest was unexpected and new to Colette. “And you seem as if you have been doing this forever. I wouldn’t surprised to hear that you were born at sea,” she said, trying to relax before settling on the true word for her cause, “Freedom. I’m here for freedom.” 

safiye did her absolute best not to laugh at the other’s words, whilst in principle she agreed with the other– it was not a solution often seen within the taverns of tortuga, nor any other pirate infested joint. safiye, brought the glass back to her lips, taking a long sip before answering the woman, “ they should. but it’s doubtful it will happen anytime soon. pirates are pirates, and telling them how they ought to act will probably cause more commotion than good. “ a smile tugged at the corners of her lips before she added, “ you must be new to this scene? i’m safiye, a pleasure to meet you. “ 

colette was at the very least glad to be agreed with. she appreciated not having to fight about whether or not people should fight. although she was  not particularly fond of the rejoinder that followed. she sighed dramatically, “my parents always told me i should never tell anyone else who they should be or how they should act. which i always found ironic,” she said, before managing a small smile, “quite new. i’m colette, the pleasure is mine.”

She laughed heartily at the other woman’s comment, shaking her head at the honesty of her words. “It takes time. Time and patience. Two things that I’ve come to learn most seem to have very little of.” Rebecca herself could admit that most days she had very little patience, but loyalty was almost always hard-won.

“I had friends before,” she snaps, momentarily defensive as the shame bubbled to the surface. She didn’t want to characterize herself as someone entirely unsociable, but the fleeting moment of vocal aggression doe snot paint her in a  better light, “I had friends. I just decided not to keep them.” 

“Some of the best sailors I’ve known have been drunkards,” he pointed out, fairly. “Sure, the smell takes some getting used to, but you hardly notice it after a few weeks at sea.” He was joking, for the most part, though his deadpan delivery didn’t make it entirely obvious. There was a glimmer in his eye gave it away, however. He scratched his neck, mulling over her question. “If it’s quiet, it’s probably for a reason. I’d find that more worrying than a crowd.” 

"I imagine it would be quite difficult to navigate the sea or climb the rigging with drink sloshing around in your belly. But I can very easily imagine falling from the crow’s nest after one too many. Do these sailors you know live long?” she inquired, not fully picking up on his jest. Colette knew nothing of the subject and therefore couldn’t refute him if he were correct. She sighed, “What I wouldn’t give for a small tavern with hushed whispers right now. Or a room at an inn,” she said her mind drifting to a wish for solitary sleep, before realizing how her words might be interpreted. With eyes wide, she stared forward in an embarrassed silence. 

“If you do happen t’have it, think of me an’ swing back as hard as y’can manage,” River mused. Despite his words, he didn’t really have a strong inclination to join in on the fight today. Not when he had other things that he needed to get done outside of the damn tavern. “It’s a true privilege when you can choose not to fight. Bu’ an even better one when you choose to swing an’ hit. I can think of little else tha’ makes you feel quite as alive. Can you?”

"If I absolutely have to swing, and praying that I won’t miss, I’ll certainly only be thinking of myself,” she replied, not wanting to encourage the man in any particular direction. She was sick of tiptoeing through social interactions, it was the very reason she left home, but provoking or offending him felt like  a death wish, “I can think of plenty things that make me feel alive, none of which come at the price of possible death.” 

She nodded in understanding as the other woman spoke. Time really was of the essence— and it wasn’t always the time or place to have a brawl, and the protection of a loved one will always be a priority. She’d seen many a man leave their family, friends, and lovers behind to chase after gold and it confused her like little else. “I’ve got a handful of people here I would jump into the fray for, but I’m always adding to my collection. After all, life is always more fun with a friend at your side.”

"Well that’s a relief to hear. I was beginning to think t hat everyone in this town only valued two things: rum and the money with which to buy rum. Having people to be loyal to and to have loyalty returned from is quite a feat,” she admitted, “I’m afraid I haven’t quite achieved it yet.” 

“I’m only surprised tha’ I’m not the one that started it this time,” River mused, watching the fight as it unfolded. Flagons of grog flew through the air, and he managed to swat at one before it hit him, resulting in it conking someone in the head. The poor soul turned to the man beside him and threw a punch. “There, now I’ve contributed,” he mused. “It’s not really Tortuga if you don’t get th’ daylights punched outta you ‘least twice.” 

Colette refrained from rolling her eyes despite her desire to. If he truly was as eager to fight as that sentence would denote she surely shouldn’t do anything to provoke him. Leaning back against the bar, to keep her face as far from the swinging fists as she could within reason, she watched him contribute tot eh brawl, “How very generous of you,” she mused, “I’m glad to say I have not had the true Tortuga experience yet. Nor do I intend to.” 

   “I do hope not, f'rall—” she winces as a horrible SHOUT sounds from the background hubbub, followed by a loud jangle of breaking glass— “‘Tis some possible, seeing the way it is here.” She’s been a year on these islands, but mostly stayed within the confines of the mission; it’s only quite recently ( since she’s signed up to LEAVE this place ) that the young woman has wandered the more densely populated areas.       “I’m afraid I baant much help, miss, though if you’ve been needing a seat, this one here’s empty.”

Colette double glances at the young woman, caught off guard by now . . .soft she is. She speaks in a way that lacks the grit and grizzle of the men that Colette had been dealing with over the past weeks. It was a much needed reprieve and Colette could not help a faint smile, “I’ve seen pig sties with more class before,” she said with a quick laugh. 

with a drink in hand, a sigh escaped her lips. the dark haired woman remained leaning against the bar as she watched hotheaded men push and shove one another about. “ i believe this savagery is what they call presenting their dominance. an ancient, and rather sad tale, causing the end of many cowardly souls. “ she then offered her glass to the other woman, “ it’s truly a shame, though– you’ll learn to navigate it. want a drink? “ 

colette frowned. she’d known that the life of a pirate was not a particularly glamorous or refined one, but she didn’t think that it would be so calamitous all the time. “only fools think they can win dominance in an unfair fight. respect can only be gained by a dignified duel,” she said, her high-birth upbringing shining through her words. she held up a hand in a gesture of ‘no thank you’ and sighed, “maybe they should just learn to calm down.” 

“ Duck and you’ll miss the bottle to the head, ” Lucía replied breezily, ever so nonchalant. “ You can count on every night. Lots of liquor and wounded pride make for many fights, no? ” 

“I don’t want to spend my whole night hunched over. I do that enough already rowing during the day,” she pouted, offering a flickering glance, “Does everyone here have wounded pride? It seems to be a rather common theme.” 

Fencing blades— her brothers did love to do the same, and there had been many an injury because of it. “Depends on who’s brawling, I’m afraid. I’m not one to leave my friends high and dry, but if they’re being foolish I’d break it up.” Probably. “And if I don’t know them at all, I’d rather just walk away. I’d rather not insert myself into conflict that isn’t worth my time,” Reb replied, a grin growing on her face.

“I would say I’m the same. I’ll only fight if I have something to fight for. The protection of a loved one being the utmost priority,” she reasoned and then grimaced as she remembered she no longer had any ties or affiliations, let alone loved ones to care about, “And time is precisely is at the crux of the issue, I don’t have any to waste on a brawl. Do you have many friends here in Tortuga worth fighting for?” 

“oh, i should think so, there isn’t much else to do. i try not to pay them too much attention,” at least, the instances he wasn’t personally involved in. “perhaps you ought to elbow them back, though you might find yourself drawn into it that way.”

“i can think of twenty better things i could be doing right now that don’t involve blood loss,” she huffs, crossing her arms and looking out over the sea of moving bodies with unmasked judgement, “i’d really rather not meet my end in some petty bar brawl, thank you very much.”