Black widow.

if anyone wants to do that diet wme dm me

100 leg lifts (each leg)

75 squats

50 sit-ups

50 second plank

50 second wall sit

(It’s called mouse workout because it’s quiet)

Apple (medium) ~ 95 cal

Baby food (1 container) ~ 20-100 cal (depending what you get)

Banana (medium) - 90 cal

Blueberries (1 cup) ~ 83 cal

Carrot (medium) - 25 cal

Cucumber (medium) 24 cal

Cherries without pits (1 cup) - 77 cal

Egg - hard boiled (one) - 72 cal

Egg white - hard boiled (one per egg) ~ 15 cal

Grapes (½ cup) ~ 60 cal

Green beans (1 cup) ~ 70 cal

Kiwi (medium) ~ 45 cal

Orange (medium) - 65 cal

Papaya (small) - 60 cal

Pickle (1 cup) - 28 cal

Pineapple (1 cup) - 80 cal

Raspberries (1 cup) ~ 64 cal

Rice cake (one piece) ~ 9 cal

Stawberries (1 cup) ~ 48 cal

Tangerine (medium) ~ 45 cal

Tomato (medium) ~ 22 cal

Watermelon (1 cup) ~ 45 cal

Yogurt - fat free / sugar free (per container) ~ 80 cal

when i first started i could barely be around food without being so tempted i would eventually binge, now saying ‘no’ to it all is just second nature

i used to find it difficult to skip one meal, now i can easily fast for days

i used to love so much bad food and now eating is nothing but a chore

my stomach used to rumble all day but now i have to remind myself to eat

black coffee and low fat/sugar foods used to taste disgusting and now i can’t imagine eating anything else

restricting used to make me miserable and now it actually makes me happy

so just remember if you want it bad enough you will do it, it just takes time.

Calories

Burning calories

Exercise

Gaining weight

What should I eat

What shouldn’t I eat

How thin I look

How fat I look

My weight

Should I skip that snack

How I wish I could lose weight

How I hate my body

How other people would react if they knew what I was thinking

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

- first thing when you wake up, chug 300mL of water (or half an average water bottle)

- stay within your calorie goal of 300-1,200. higher is unacceptable, while somewhere lower is fine.

- drink 2L+ of water a day

- take care of your skin! wash your face, use facemasks, moisturize and so on

- binge twice a month, and you get to choose when. no more than two binge days.

- workout three times a week at least. this can be skateboarding for an hour, walking running - anything.

- three cups of green tea a day. at least.

-liquid calories dont count unless its heavy in dairy or INCREDIBLY sugary. (so add sugar and milk to your tea, thats fine)

- sleep 7-9 hours.

- do your homework as soon as you get home, and study for at least an hour.

-read for ½-1 hour a night at least. more is okay!!

- shower nightly, making sure to exfoliate and shave!!!

- brush your teeth after you eat, every time. get your teeth whiter and help you not eat more too

- fast four or more times a month, for 24-48 hours, but dont go over 48! ever!!

- will fast 12 hours a day ; can eat from 7:00AM to 7:00PM but not after or before.

I remember when I could go to a party and not eat a single bite because I was fasting. I remember when I could walk thru my kitchen and leave with a glass of 0 calorie herbal tea. I remember going days without food and feeling in control and at peace. I remember the feeling of hunger pulling my mind away from all other distractions. I remember stepping on the scale and seeing the numbers drop. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my bones start to show. I remember running my hand along my side and feeling my rib cage. I remember seeing the bones in my hands and wrists becoming more defined. I remember my legs becoming smaller and forming a thigh gap. I remember carrying something against my side and it hurting my hip bones.

I remember all of this.

Now I can’t see a package of Oreos without eating them. Now I can’t go into the kitchen without eating some disgusting piece of food. Now I can’t go hours without wanting to eat again. Now the hunger makes me give in to food. Now I can’t step on the scale without the numbers going higher. Now I can barely see my bones beneath all of my fat. Now I can hardly feel my rib cage. Now the bones in my hands and wrists are practically invisible. Now my legs are back to being elephant legs. Now my hip bones are cocooned in disgusting fat.

That was then. This is now. Soon will be the future.

I won’t continue being this disgusting fat worthless piece of shit. I can’t give in to food any more. I won’t give in. I will be strong so I won’t just say “I remember..” but “now I am.”