thaw my ice.

hey tumblr, I'm still alive but barely. Almost 2 months ago, I told myself that I will be productive this summer. Prepare for college, find schools, contemplate life (really)  , study maths, learn a new sport and now all I want to do is sleep,sleep,sleep, and watch The Vampire Diaries bc I am so incrush with Damon omgomgomg. I don't want to get up and its so mainit and I don't want to move an inch bc I'm having a blasted headache and idk what I'm doing in my life anymore. 

Don't let her down You have found her, now go and get her Remember, to let her into your heart Then you can start to make it better.

there are times when I am bothered by my social-less life, so I put an extra effort when conversing with people and it goes okay for a while and I feel a little bit better about myself and then they'll get too close and ask questions I'm not comfortable answering bc it makes me think of how much I suck as a human being for lack of ability in co-existing with them. And then I'll use words like co-existing, and then they'll get bored and start ticking off the usual topics, like weather, or asking how's your life, or how's your love life, or your studies. I don't really like talking about them bc 1.) they probably know the answer 2.) it's obvious, the weather is sunny/rainy I wish its not, I am fine, my love life is perfect, my studies' still the same.  So by then, I'd stop replying to him. end of conversation. And then I'll start replying to him again when I feel bad about not having friends, and then I'll feel better and then its the same thing all over again. seriously, I have to work on some issues here. and I guess, stop using "co-existing'. 

that moment when you're scrolling at 9gag, and you suddenly realized; You have no social life.