あきらめないで

I dig myself up from the wet mud. throwing all the  love poems out of the window I die with the sunset  in my eyes. I ask myself for advice, I betray myself, ungratefully seeking  for love in a man, high on disappointment. I do not blossom. I do not grow, I am thirsty.  I do not rain on myself anymore.  Oh, how our love is compared to a cactus.  Dry,  with millions of thorns.  I have grown through you,  I became a peony, I became an orange tree,  desirous for love,  fruitful  and dying with every sunset  and sunrise.  I dig myself up. and I promise  I will incarnate myself  into the past.  I dig myself up  unlovable,  unrecognizable,  unforgettable.  I put my teeth in revenge like  it’s an orange.  Through its peel, with all the juice dripping on my lips.