Rat-at-tag

Am.i allowed to be mad at my boyfriend for swiping left on everyone on tinder that looks over 130lbs???? Like we joked about a third but he's only pausing on skinny people's pages

Guess who's back, my birthday happened and now I'm in a relationship and also fucking fat like unbearably so, and I can't keep letting myself be the funny fat boyfriend, I'm SICK of it

Crying screaming and throwing up, had a guy who's a friend of a friend hang out at my workplace today and he's so cute and nice and then I remembered I'm a gross fucking slug and he probably thought I was weird

I like blotting up styros and then watching the gap refill again, makes the brain itch

6 months clean down the drain cause I wanted to do my laundry ¯⁠\⁠_⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Started doing high res (I'm working two jobs and 500 just ain't gonna cut it bestie) but also every time I eat my new roommate comments on how fat I am (he's naturally skinny and eats like a shit ton) because he thinks it's part of being #sassy and #blunt or whatever and idk I just feel terrible even though I'm barely getting 1000 kcals a day I feel like I'm a pig

I got too high and tried to change my pad but got scared and started crying instead

I think it's crazy that one argument with my mother about something completely unrelated can result in a complete loss of progress in my mental well-being, like I get that I have codependency issues but holy shit

Ran out of money for nicotine, time to die

Work slays, but unfortunately my mom got mad at me today so I relapsed lmao, so yk, whatever

First day of work at the new place today, gonna cry