Out of Context Medical School Quotes
Oh medical students. How our reputations supersede us. Lately, I’ve seen a ton of people romanticizing being in medical school or some variation thereof. We’ve been forgotten as the very human, often ridiculous people who are just trying to survive in a high stakes, high pressure world.
I’ve written out quotes I that I still remember over the last 4 years mostly because they’re kinda funny but also because we’re just regular humans. This is all meant and good fun and if you have any, please feel to include them!
“Hey, I’m done holding this placenta do you want it now?”
“Your hair looks really nice today so if you don’t want to flip the body you don’t have to.”
“Do you think the reason we get loopy at night in the study rooms is because of the whiteboard marker fumes?”
“Being detailed oriented becomes a lot more high stakes when it involves a colon.”
“Who gets to name the bugs? Who gets to use the word influenzae if it’s not the flu!”
“Can I come over and pet your dog for a little while? I really need it.”
“I’ve never gone through so many highlighters in this short of a time.”
“I’m an adult and I can use pizza to cope if I want.”
“Hey, you want to see something gross? Too late! Here it is.”
“I liked being a vet tech, but my chances of being bit as a people doctor are somewhat lower.”
“You learn a lot about someone after watching them do a pelvic exam.”
“Sometimes it’s just better to stay in your self-induced cocaine coma.”
“I told him not to show up in the cow suit for this presentation!”
“You can’t sacrifice mealtimes with poptarts so you can study more.”
“Don’t eat bagels of the treatment tables!”
“Can you imagine? I’ve touched all of our classmates’ butts and it’s not even weird anymore.”
“It’s pimp or be pimped in this world.”
“He pushed an ICU nurse?! I’m surprised he didn’t end up in the ICU himself after that.”
“I’m stuck in on-call purgatory. I want to see cool stuff but I also want to sleep.”
“How many times in a day do you think I can eat lunch in the doctor’s lounge without getting caught?”
“In technical terms, he sounds crunchy as hell.”
“I guess if you’re gonna get tazed the ER is the place to do it.”
“I’m gonna need to know if there is a place I can dance around here.”
“You can’t just show up to a rotation with video games.”
“All skills are applicable in medicine. Especially stapling.”
“I had never really thought about liquids I have a problem with, but I know which ones they are now.”
“I can’t tell if I like doing this or I’ve just been stockholmed into liking it.”
“We’re going to use teamwork to help reduce our suffering.”
“How you mistake anything else for V tach?!”
“This ER looks like the hallway to hell.”
“I don’t know where the FM intern is, so congratulations, you’re the intern now.”
“As interview season goes on, I realized all I want is to be fed.”
“Match was so exciting, until I realized I actually have to go be a doctor.”
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