Soli Deo Gloria

you’re five five and you’re running around making mud pies in your backyard with your best friend Jesus five and your mother reads you story after story before bed Jesus cuddles up next to you with his arms behind his head five and you don’t know the feeling of sadness or loneliness so that smile stretching wide is genuine instead five six seven eight nine you’re 25 25 and you’re running around working 40 hours a week travel time plus the hour you eat plus chores plus bills plus you’re exhausted 25 and your mother is only a phone call away but she’s busy and you’re busy and you haven’t spoken in a week 25 and sadness and loneliness are no longer knocking on your door they’ve clawed their way into your skin and manifest themselves inside you they’re a part of you and it’s dark and the thoughts in your head won’t leave and you scream and you cry and you forget you forget about your friend your best friend from when you were five and you’re  f a l l i n g but He’s still there He always was He was simply waiting for you to meet Him halfway but now you’re falling and He’s worried waiting watching and you’re worried grasping gasping you think you’re done you’re drowning in sadness and loneliness and anxiety and depression and PTSD but you’ve still got one good fight left in you so you land on your knees - 01.11.2017, 8:43am

me @ God: here is the thing *sits on the floor* *cries*