Finding wonderland

I’ve been acting like an extrovert since I can’t even remember, and it’s become a part of my personality I can’t give up. Still, I remain introverted, so always I end up completely devouring my own energy to a point where I’m just simply not able to talk to anyone.

You have to wait three days to call a woman, that’s the rule. Who came up with that rule? Jesus. Seriously. Jesus started the whole wait-three-days-thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he’d have only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn’t’ve even heard that he died. They’d be all, “Hey, Jesus. What up?” And Jesus would probably be like, “What up? I died yesterday.” And then they’d be all, “Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude.” And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and then the dude would be like, “Okay, whatever you say, bro.” And he’s not going to come back on a Saturday. Everybody’s busy! Doing chores, working the loom, trimming their beards – no. He waits the exact right number of days: three. Plus it’s Sunday, so everyone’s in church already! They’re in there all, “Oh no. Jesus is dead.” Then BAM, he bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone’s totally psyched – and FYI, that’s when he invented the high-five. Three days, Ted. We wait three days to call a woman because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait.