I WANT TO HELP.

“ better alone. but not. not alone. ” the spirit whispered to himself as eyes followed the white-haired elf walk along the stone wall. “ tired. very tired. but i can’t sleep. not comfortable like where i used to be... but not there. not a ‘ where ’, a ‘ when ’. i want to trust them. not that easy. but it has to be. hawke is here. ” 

eight nights. it’d been eight nights now that the curious spirit had caught the lonely warrior quietly move up the stone steps to the battlements and look out into a dark, empty abyss... where compassion then silently followed and watched from a distance, naturally.

of course, cole had thought to make his presence known before. say ‘ hi ’. but, admittedly, the part of him that he allowed to remember, the part that was becoming a little more... human, perhaps, had tugged on and warned him that it might not be the best idea to unnerve this particular elf so... since cole had the ability to do nothing but.

still, after eight nights, he simply wanted to know why it was the battlements fenris seemed to like to keep visiting and had to approach him. “ h-hello! ” the forgotten boy chirped from behind, perhaps too gleefully for the current time, holding his hands together in front of him.

One second he was there and the next he was gone. Off doing something, she didn’t know at first. He was a confusing man, spirit. Alys hadn’t exactly known what he was, all she knew was that Inquisitor Adaar trusted him, Yvanna trusted him. She’d make her own decisions on Cole, but those influences helped her decide. Cole wasn’t someone she often sought out, his ability to read minds or whatever it was put her on edge. The insecurities she held were only for herself. She was supposed to be the clan’s master, one of the strongest. There was no room for insecurities.

Scanning the ground below she spotted him for a moment, next to a man she didn’t know, before he was gone again. He was ‘helping’ she had to assume. Whatever that meant to him he was doing it. Part of her was curious but it wasn’t truly her place to ask. Too often she opened her mouth when she didn’t need to. It caused more trouble than good in most situations. But she still knew she’d probably ask eventually. 

Alys felt the air shift before he appeared again, she wondered for a moment if everyone felt that when he was near, but there was no one to ask. “What did—” his words were spoken before hers, part of her had tried to ignore them, continue her own question. “I never said I failed.” Perhaps to defensive, “I’ve never failed. I don’t fail.” That was her mantra, never allow yourself to fail. She refused. She’d tear herself apart before she let herself fail. “I can’t not fail.”

at alys’ return, cole leaned away slightly and quieted. but the faded blues hiding behind straw-like strands stayed on her. it wasn’t as sharp as a snap but he’d ruffled some feathers. he must have. she was louder, now --- and not just with her voice. the more people he spoke to, bonded with, the more grounded he seemed to become to this world and the more challenging it was to do what he needed to do. it frustrated him at times and brought on a childlike wonder at others, but ultimately deterred him from his original purpose.

how could he help if he couldn’t hear them accurately? how could he help if he couldn’t make them forget what they needed to?

the spirit took a moment to listen harder, folded his hands together in his lap and lowered his head. that’s when he heard it: the endurance, the fortitude behind her words. and it was... a bit of a comfort, actually. strong. something he wished he could use and give back later. “ ...me, neither? ” he voiced softly a few heartbeats after, already looking back to the elf with a new breed of curiosity. “ i want to help... but if i can’t, then... ” compassion’s attention drifted down to his hands. he turned them over to examine before the briefest flashes of old hurts violated his mind and his shoulders tensed in discomfort. “ i-i can’t be like that again. i can’t fail. i won’t. ”

Kieran’s brilliant smile was blinding and made her heart swell with pride and gratitude at Cole’s easy acceptance of him. She’d been so worried he wouldn’t be helped, be closed off and upset as everyone so easily got around him, that it was a relief to know that he was able to speak so freely. Her son could hardly contain himself and quickly threw his arms around Cole’s neck once more, starved for touch just as she was. Ironically she of all people had had a child who craved physical affection more than she thought possible. “Okay! I want a friend too, nobody here talks much.” Kieran immediately began describing his dreams, ones all too familiar for her, that showcased everything from the end of humanity to the blackened city that loomed above and around them all.

          light blues didn’t leave the boy... even as his mother seemed to move, settle in nearby. his attention--especially--remained on the smaller of the three when he threw his arms around his neck again. it didn’t bother cole, ironically. his brows only lifted in surprise when kieran did it again as he was unable to hear him think about it before it happened. slow hands went to gently pat the boy’s backside and compassion smiled. the scene was raw. innocent. dated. the boy pulled back, began describing his dreams and it was perhaps a first where cole was the speechless one. the spirit held a look of bewilderment, not scared but... surprised, almost. he’d finally realized why he couldn’t hear kieran’s thoughts, though --- they were too loud. like a titon’s! but... smaller. he was an old god. but young. and good. also, he didn’t need him. it was okay. he was happy. his dreams were... concerning, though. “ ...those dreams are far. i... can try to help when you start? but i can’t follow for long. i’m... sorry. ”

She accepted his hand, a wide smile breaking out on her lips. He was sweet, and it made her happy. She could tell just by looking at him that he was good. He had an aura about him. Myri prided herself on reading people well enough.

“Will you be joining me with tea?” She asked, still sniffling slightly but already feeling better.

          cole was... surprised to hear she may not want him to leave... so, not entirely sure how else to respond, he accepted with a soft nod. the forgotten boy’s movement was foreign, goofy, clunky, and clumsy in that moment. not something you’d expect when seeing him on the battlefield. he allowed his arms to hang loosely at his sides, but stiffened his back, and slowly began smiling. “ yes? ” he chirped; his smile grew. he squeezed her hand, gently tugged --- before turning and continuing toward the kitchen.

          upon entering, he vanished. briefly abandoning. a quick eye might’ve caught him by the fireplace. he popped outside for fresh water from the well, snatched a few herbs from the garden, and returned to her with two cups of fresh, hot tea. ( had to make their own since the servants and cooks were well fed up with his antics by now. ) compassion set the two cups down on the counter and staggered back a bit --- a soft, worried gaze set down upon her. the spirit just wanted her to feel better. and it seemed she was now! thankfully. he sure had questions about what she was thinking, though.

She could see the confusion. It made her happy. Not in a malicious way, but she enjoyed how he looked at her. She rested her head on his shoulder, bony thing that it was, before leading him slowly towards the kitchens. They squeezed his hand tightly as they stepped in the kitchen. “That’s my secret, friend. I am always hungry.”

She moved to start fixing food, grabbing jerky and bread. “My caretaker taught me this. When we were short on food, whether my master was being selfish or just cruel, we would always have to make do with certain things. Boil water, salt and pepper…” She slowly set out cooking, adding things to the boil before throwing chunks of the jerky and bread in. “Jerky and dumplings. Always a treat.”

          cole’s attention shifted to the thick wooden door they were headed as they walked along... but upon feeling their head hit his shoulder, the spirit looked back down to the elf, instead. confusion transitioned into something... softer, then --- and though he wasn’t completely sure what was going on, compassion accepted it and loosened up.

          light blues followed his opposite after they squeezed his hand and left him to begin cooking --- but alone, there, in the middle of the kitchen, cole looked... out of place. funny. it was probably the one room in all of skyhold he visited the most. he’d given the cooks and servants a bit of a hassle; thankfully, even if they were there, they wouldn’t rightfully remember him.

          a few heartbeats after, cole ghosted over to sora; closer--he liked it that way--and watched curiously as they cooked. spirits didn’t need food... people did, however, and whether he understood he was one of them now, or not, the pain he’d grown accustomed to in the pit of his stomach wouldn’t cease until something was thrown down there.

          “ ...does that hurt? ” he decided to ask--once he was close enough--and looked at the mage with concern in his eyes. “ i can help--... ” compassion cut himself off as cole's fate came back to haunt his mind, however, and faded brows furrowed before he looked down to her creation. the only way he could really help with that would be to... well... “ ...--it probably wouldn’t be good if you couldn’t remember you were hungry, though... ”

She had asked in all curiosity when she worded the question, bit his reply had her pleasantly surprised. He always seemed to have that effect on her.   “ No need. I could never mind your presence, Cole ”   she replied, all honesty and smiles as swam to the shore. Her body wasn’t always she felt the need to hide; she and the rest of her clan did this all the time back at home. 

“ What about you? Do you like to swim? ”   she asked when they were front to front.

          compassion actually did it. it’d... been a little hard, admittedly, too much so now... not to... admire her body. it wouldn’t be... hard... had it been anyone else --- but he’d walked in on the magnetic elven woman, instead--bare-skinned--and the spirit’s eyes had actually been fighting against him to look at her... before he finally just forced them up.

          it’d been like a constant battle, lately. cole was either always feeling human or--... well... it wasn’t bad! perhaps discerning? happening... too fast. solas helped with the little questions he had, so did varric, but... yavanna... didn’t. if anything, she added to his problems--unintentionally, most likely--that didn’t mean he wanted her to disappear, though. 

          yavanna left the water, then, and seemed to... shamelessly, approach him. cole didn’t blush; remained still; stared down at her --- almost like a large animal about to devour its meal, actually. seemed she, in particular, was constantly challenging his human side, though. it... searched for her specifically, after all; thirsted for her. very dangerous. 

          blue hues had followed her brown all the way from the pool to the empty spot in front of him... though, admittedly, they did wander --- and while they did, well... his eyes got so dark, one might actually think him to be apart of the ocean predator family. “ ...i, um... ” he attempted to clear his throat... if only a moment after.

          “ i like to... float. ” compassion confessed a few heartbeats after, allowing his sights to drift across the sky in thought. much safer. he could... feel... the warmth coming off her body, though, unfortunately; saw the mist seeping off her; it was tempting--almost--teasing. maker, why was he so... jumbled? the spirit emitted an unheard of giggle! shook his head. 

                    surprise colored her features as she accepted the offered tea ( had it always been in his hands? ) . “ it… it does. ” levina held the steaming cup between chilled fingers, tempted to forget her curiosity and accept the act of kindness for what it simply was, but the temptation of a distraction was greater. her mind eagerly formed the question, urged levina to study the stranger as if his face might reveal the answer before his lips did. “ how did you hear me? i never said a word. ” for those who knew her, it must have been an odd sight to see the scout so silent; to watch her brood quietly and adopt such a solemn countenance. levina couldn’t be bothered to put up an act that day, not with pain twisting her insides and memories assaulting her thoughts. 

                    in all honesty, she’d been in a pissy mood until now.

                    understanding washed over her in the next second – there was only one logical explanation she could think of. she smiled then, impressed and concerned all at once. “ are you a mage? i didn’t know you lot were capable of reading minds now. ” 

          compassion, quickly, began smiling when levina accepted the tea--extra honey--he’d stolen from the kitchen for her; told him that it did, in fact, help. light blues, intently, studied the other rouge with the very warm and particularly bright aura --- the spirit’s pupils were extremely dilated, though. he hadn’t blinked, didn’t know it, not ‘til her question was voiced. cole’s lids fluttered away, then, and he shook his head. almost seemed like a dirty little fourteen year old boy, there, meeting some... princess. “ ...you didn’t have to say a word, actually. ” he answered, nervously... rather calmly, “ i... can hear your thoughts--if you... need me. you... probably won’t need me, actually. ”

          it was on purpose that he wanted to freak her out. one of the quickest ways to find out if he could trust her enough to... well, let her remember him ( if she even wanted to! ) 

There was a quiet Magdi longed for as she sat in the garden, planting paraphernalia surrounding her as she worked her fingers deep into a pot of blood lotus, trying hard to press life-giving magic into the earth around her digits. It was harder to focus in this fortress in the mountain, harder than it had been to be in the heart of Llomerryn and doing the same thing, because she could just sense everyone’s negative emotions as if she had a spirit of Compassion nestled next to her soul. So much worry and fear tainted the air, but she shouldn’t have been surprised by that. They were fighting against… from what she understood it was a darkspawn with plans of godhood. 

Complete annihilation of the Veil, brought to you by dumb men who think they can own the world.

Pulling her hands from the pot, she gave up on sending magic to the roots and brushed them against the spare cloth she kept on her for this purpose. When a shadow darkened over her, she sighed and turned her head towards her visitor. “You know, I was quite enjoying that bit of sunlight. Was the warmest I’ve been since I got to Ferelden, let alone here.”

          the spirit of compassion heard the elf-blooded rivaini’s ( or... perhaps the spirit attached to her’s...? ) silent call; light blues flickered across the--mostly vacant--garden, and in a matter of seconds, he ghosted from his spot on the stone walkway to the empty spot in the dirt behind her. no one...? noticed. no. cole actually felt the need to apologize, though... just because--... well, ‘ because she could just sense everyone’s negative emotions as if she had a spirit of compassion nestled next to her soul ’. that line had, perhaps, been the clearest --- and resulted in his demeanor seeming more... conscience-stricken, than anything else.

          the mage did have a spirit of compassion watching over her, he believed... and, well, it wasn’t him.

          so... why did he apologize? because she... felt bad. or... at least that’s what he thought...? felt. maybe he was wrong. maybe... maybe the other spirit of compassion attached to her was doing just fine... or was it failing? dying? was she in danger? was it asking for help? these were questions he, actually, may or may not have the answers to... but... ones he, at the same time, felt the need to ask her. perhaps she already knew, after all. 

          he thought, maybe, it wasn’t a spirit of compassion, though, but rather--... his vision widened. cole wasn’t sure if he was wrong! they held the same shape! why?! was it... like him? or...? curious eyes shifted from--what he thought it to be--the spirit of magdi’s dalish mother-figure, rather, back over to magdi, and he looked... well, worried.

          “ ...sorry, ” cole murmured, anyway, “ ...--maker, he sees me. good! ‘ don’t step on that paraphernalia, you hear me?! you were too close last time, moving around my magdi! ” faded brows knit, slightly --- the spirit tilted his head, looking at ‘ her magdi ’ curiously from underneath his hat... but mostly, he was just... confused. perhaps, because, he wasn’t all that sure exactly what a ‘ paraphernalia ’ was right then ( even though the daughter of an elven pirate and courtesan siren had just been fucking planting, and thinking about planting, them... right there, in front of him! )

          he didn’t look particularly comfortable shaking her hand, and for a moment rory second-guessed her decision to push it. still, she returned the shake with a firmer grip than his, then nodded at his name. “cole,” she repeated, testing the word out on her tongue. “well, it’s… nice to meet you, cole.” oh, but she wasn’t sure if it was. and when he didn’t immediately answer why he was here, again, rory felt her indignation start to bubble at the back of her throat - but the sound that left her was a pathetic whimper as he started to speak. “h-how…” absently, she remembered hearing of the spirit’s ‘strange’ abilities, and it was with both horror and sorrow that she listened to and recalled those words: i won’t, and i can’t. the thoughts were familiar - an echo in the chamber of her heart; of trembling hands and blue-ruin eyes stinging hot with tears, of shaky breaths forced through a throat turned raw with screaming grief. she stared at cole now and felt that same grief start to crawl around her lungs, snatching the air from them so quickly she found it hard to breathe. her eyes wavered with tear-marred vision: he was thinking of you. this was a hurt from the oldest corners of her heart; it ached all the way to her bones, built into the hollow spaces between her ribs. the earth seemed to quake deep in her belly, and when she pressed a hand against her mouth to stifle a sob, she tasted dust on her tongue. “don’t - ” she tried, but her mouth swallowed those words and spat out a cry. “he was as strong as me. stronger,” she snarled through her teeth, conviction and grief blurring into something almost akin to anger - a dull, broken sort of anger that had her curling in on herself, trying to seek out a comfort she couldn’t possibly find alone. and right now, she did feel alone. those words cole had spoken - were they truly what philipp had felt…? rory hugged her arms close to her chest, all her previous determination gone, no longer daring to meet the other’s eyes. “tell me you’re lying,” she said suddenly, desperately, head bowed, gaze focused on the floor. one index finger and thumb rubbed idly at her sleeve, trying to ground herself. “tell me he - !” her breath caught in her throat, and her voice quivered. …no, that wasn’t what she wanted. she forced her eyes to meet cole’s. “why - why are you doing this?”

          light blues crept over to the other blonde--curves at the ends of his lips--upon hearing her repeat his name --- it resulted in making him look... a little goofy, admittedly. the smile he fashioned on his features... twisted his demeanor uncomfortably. made him look... weird, after a few heartbeats. it was one no one else had yet made him do... before it’d been...corrupted... but fell, quickly ( thankfully ) when he heard it... maybe... wasn’t really nice to meet him. she was just being polite. it’s alright. she was being sweet, anyway. being kind even though she didn’t feel kind; that’s what mattered. 

          compassion’s brows buckled at the sudden twist of her demeanor, however. she went, completely, from being skeptical to... miserable --- and he was actually confused! he, personally, felt warmed by philipp’s last thoughts. happy he could share them, so the apprentice could finally find peace. did rory not see it this way? to her credit, though, he did just lay... a lot on her, at once. never the smooth one, cole; and... funny... how he didn’t... know...? how to handle this. odd... for a spirit of compassion. tall, blonde, and lanky kept his arms to himself. feeling he knew she... didn’t... want to be touched. admittedly, he did want to comfort her that way, though.  

          cole studied his victim rory closely, nearly jumped at her... request? sounded more like a demand, truthfully, but light blues shot down to the movement of her fingers --- and he... didn’t... know what to say. he was waiting to listen, actually, but... she was too angry, too sad. it was pointless. did he--did he do the right thing? “ ...no, don’t you see? ” the spirit started up, suddenly feeling that... yes, he did do the right thing! did make the right choice! compassion also... dared touch her, gently placing his thumbs on the insides of her elbows to both get her attention and show her he wasn’t the one she should be afraid of.   

          “ you made his death easier. i know it’s hard... but without you, he would still be trapped here. instead? instead he can leave! and if i were him, i’d wish i could leave, too. he loved you, rory, and not only did you help him in this life, but you helped him cross over into the next! ”

The sound of a door slamming had her eyes quickly scanning the area, some would call her jumpy but after everything they’d seen out there it was foolish to not be a bit paranoid. Of all people in Skyhold who confused her Cole was among the top of that list. She knew Yvanna liked him so she didn’t have any outright reason to distrust him but no one knew exactly what he was. It made sense though that she hadn’t heard him though, he was quiet, could pop up where ever he wanted. “Was honestly… expecting a human.” She was nothing if not honest. “No offence, you be.. whatever you want.” Not an insult but blunt, he could be whatever he wanted. Scooting over to allow him more room she watched as he looked out at the view she’d suggested. His smile causing the corners of her lips to tug upwards, “Looking? I always just look.” 

          cole’s eyes kept on the lavellan clan member... but, perhaps, too... intensely, this time. a few heartbeats after she’d scooted over to give him a bit more room --- the spirit noticed this; didn’t really have any problem with personal space, liked being close... sometimes; usually broke it, himself, with others; it was probably her, he assumed, that wanted the space, though, and, no, he wasn’t offended. suddenly, the lanky ghost looked toward the people below when he heard a deeper voice, louder in volume, actually, over alys’. compassion couldn’t her, for a moment. expression appeared, visibly, discomforted... before he was finally looking back over to the elf. 

          no, they didn’t need any immediate help. cole would help, of course... but after their conversation; it could wait, essentially. it might be considered... embarrassing, actually, their problem --- and the person--man--was stuck on it. ‘ what can i get her for our anniversary? i have a golden, jeweled bracelet that i found in the western approach that i could give her... but will it get to her in time? ’ the spirit’s lids flickered briefly; nearly transparent eyelashes--thick if studied closely--clouded his narrowed vision as it seemed the man demanded his attention, then, and promptly after, cole was spouting his thoughts aloud.

          “ what can i use...? what can i use!? not leliana’s crows, no... ” he furrowed his brows as his focus kept down on the small group of people below, “ but... they’d be the fastest, that’s true. how, though? they’d land with the rest of ‘em, too, wouldn’t they? shit. m-maybe... maybe one of the elves could...? ” cole shook his head very soon after that, disapproving of the end of that path --- and, without warning, ghosted from his seat beside her down to the empty spot behind the man who’s thoughts he’d been hearing. a rather tall, stocky human; the spirit actually had to push up on his toes to reach his shoulder. 

          tall, blonde, and lanky’s right hand was already glowing when it landed. very quickly, the frustrated, partly socially awkward man appeared visibly happier and carefree. cole was fast enough he didn’t even have to turn around to see who it was that’d touched his shoulder ( and his back pocket ) and the spirit was, already, ghosting back up to sit beside alys. the man had forgotten that he had an issue, altogether. the gift would get to her--he realized, or may as well already have--and cole would slip the gift he’d snuck from his back pocket into the caravans headed toward denerim --- in a box labeled: ‘ to robyn swanson, denerim. from her brother. i miss you. ’

          easy. and no one got hurt! ( that was the part he liked he most! ) carefully, cole looked back over to the elf once the man was completely out of sight, having headed into the tavern. “ ...you don’t have to be so hard on yourself. ” he decided to voice --- hearing the shortest, quickest snippet of a thought that might’ve... unintentionally--probably--come from her. if he could remember most of the people he helped, he’d probably be surprised at how many times he had to say that one line. why did so many always beat themselves up so viciously for something they shouldn’t even be blaming themselves for in the first place?

          from the various encounters compassion actually allowed himself to remember... some thought it valid ( and, truthfully, it actually was... most of the time ) that they be blamed for the hurt and either took on the consequences honorably... or ran for it; some were mistakenly blamed and sought, perhaps, revenge for the one who’d pinned the fault of the hurt on them in the first place; and some just wanted something to blame the hurt on, so they blamed themselves. this is what compassion thought alys to be doing --- and, well... simply put, he wanted to help. cole tilted his head... as if to ask the elf if it was ‘ okay ’ that he... try to help--if only a little--and parted his lips. “ ...you and yavanna never failed your clan, alys. even now, you’re making them and keeper deshanna istimaethoriel lavellan very proud. you... know this? ”

She panicked for a second, as she saw sadness appear on his eyes; he moved away and she chased him, already missing the safety she felt in his arms.   “ Wait, wait! ”   she exclaimed, holding on to his sleeve, stopping him before he could disappear for good leaving her with the bittersweet aftertaste of forgetting him, after he gave her such peace of mind.

“ You did helped. You di— You do. ”   she assured him, giving a tentative step forward, not letting go of his sleeve.   “ I–I don’t want to forget about this ”   determination was clear on her voice, despite the way it quavered a little, still shaken by the emotion. He had broken a part of her armor, and despite the vulnerability, she felt more free than she had in years. Apparently, the cage she always feared was closer than she had thought.   “ At least… tell me your name? ”   she inquired, trying to find his eyes under the hat and the bangs. 

          no... no, he shouldn’t have interfered. there was no way to fix this now--now that she wouldn’t let him go--it wasn’t the hurt she didn’t want to forget, after all... it was him. compassion was worried... not because she didn’t want to forget him, but because of how he’d handled that realization. only nightmare demons made people forget the hurt, so they could move on... then use it to their advantage, to play on their victims emotions. he was in her good graces because he helped --- but he shouldn’t be! didn’t deserve to be. he wasn’t like that! just wanted to help. forgetting also helped him, but... how could he now? now that... she’d remember? 

          he froze in his spot--perhaps too suddenly--when yavanna snatched him by the sleeve ‘ before he could disappear ’ and only wide, light blues shifted down to where her hand was placed on his arm. the elf dared to get closer. compassion didn’t see it... but heard it, felt the vibrations beneath his own feet. tall, blonde, and lanky quickly turned at the sound of her voice, then --- could hear the determination within. though he’d messed this up, he felt from her what most of his other ‘ victims ’ felt when he’d succeeded. he was confused by this... but glad for it, at the same time, at least.

She smiled as he spoke, “Cole? I think my brother has spoken of you.” She took the cup her hands curled around the warm cups. “He said you knew things, and you’re correct. I am Cullen’s little sister. You can call me, Rose if you like.” Rosalie sipped on the cup and the warmth of the tea sliding down her throat. “He’s..always worried. I’m quite worried about him as well. He’s tough on himself more so then he ought to.” She took along sip of the tea again. “This tea is delicious thank you so much.”

          compassion tilted his head, slightly, at her response; suddenly sporting a curious demeanor, rather. cullen... spoke of him? his sister... already knew his name; knew of him. that... was weird--the other way around--but it was weirder to think he’d been talked about, at all, actually. wasn’t something that really crossed his mind. he’d made the others--well... most, forget him, after all --- they couldn’t remember him long enough to talk about him! it didn’t bother him or anything, though. just made him feel... well, real. cole looked at her a little differently then; lifted his head so that his hat wasn’t completely covering his eyes. he tried to keep the subject on the rutherfords, however.

          “ you’re welcome... rose, ” he echoed her name with the faintest of smiles a few heartbeats after --- his tone light, almost making it seem as though he was recalling the name of an old friend as each line of the letters he’d secretly read that she’d written her brother flooded his thoughts. “ yes. ” he agreed sincerely, “ he is. but the song inside can get too loud now. if he isn’t, it hurts. ” the spirit stated, appearing... uncomfortable, now; sad as the ex-templar’s thoughts revisited his mind. he wished he could help... but there’d been enough demons that’d stepped around in his thoughts; cullen didn’t need another one in there. “ you being here helps... but when its too loud, it doesn’t. he’s sorry. ”