actual human disaster

but they aren’t like him, they all have super-powers and armor and stuff but him… all he had was a bow and arrow

endless list of MCU characters → clint barton

“You haven’t missed anything, takeaway coffee is absolutely horrible. I hate it. It’s poison in a paper cup.” Clint shook his head and patted the trusted coffee at his side. He was already looking forward to drinking it already. “Everyone excited to go see the animals at the zoo?” He called out to the back of the car, smiling widely at his three children in the mirror.

“Look I’m not being bias by picking Team Iron Man. Yeah, science bro’s all the way but beside’s that Tony is a smart clear guy..great hair..I’ve borrowed his clothes many times and they ALWAYS smell good. Steve has great qualities too! His..being patriotic is cool, it’s nice..very loyal..his pants never make his ass look,Steve has a great ass. That Dorito ratio thing he’s got going on is fantastic, Dorito’s are delicious..all kinds..except for one time in Brazil the spice on one of their’s was too much for my body. ANYWAYS. Love them both but I’ll raise my glass to Tony boy.”

 “Leave me alone Clint” The redhead replied, turning away “I can handle myself” Pale hands lay tangled on her lap while she speaks quietly, pressing her lips together and blinking fast to get rid of any moist building under her eyelids.

Clint moved with her, pulling her closer as she pulled him closer. He tilted his head to deepen this kiss, running his hands to rest on her sides. When the need for air became a bit too much to bear he slowly pulled back, opening his eyes and smiling like a fool. “Well… I didn’t expect that but I would totally recommand doing that again.”

 “Leave me alone Clint” The redhead replied, turning away “I can handle myself” Pale hands lay tangled on her lap while she speaks quietly, pressing her lips together and blinking fast to get rid of any moist building under her eyelids.

Clint moved with her, pulling her closer as she pulled him closer. He tilted his head to deepen this kiss, running his hands to rest on her sides. When the need for air became a bit too much to bear he slowly pulled back, opening his eyes and smiling like a fool. “Well... I didn’t expect that but I would totally recommand doing that again.”

“Is that in a good way or bad way? Because I can see dealing with pregnant me for a third time driving even the most put together man to insanity.” Wanda chuckled as she ate ice cream from the tub she had balanced on her pregnant belly. Her feet were propped up on a foot stool and she was wearing sweat pants and her husband’s shirt. 

“I will never ever let it go in my life, I will cling onto it.” Clint chuckled and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I will take the night feedings. I swear. I’m gonna coddle that miracle child every single day until she gets sick of it.” He shook his head and wrapped an arm around her. 

Pietro nodded and snuggled closer to his mother. He already felt sleepy but he wasn’t going to miss out on some extra reading time. He loved it. “I like it, it’s fun.” He yawned and nodded slowly. He had long since forgotten about the man downstairs.

 “Leave me alone Clint” The redhead replied, turning away “I can handle myself” Pale hands lay tangled on her lap while she speaks quietly, pressing her lips together and blinking fast to get rid of any moist building under her eyelids.

   In a moment of madness Natasha moved forward, just a bit; her head tilted to the side and their lips brushed against each other. A thousand warning signs appeared inside her mind but she didn’t move, enjoying that little, almost stolen moment as she felt his breath and hers mix.

His eyes went wide when she suddenly leaned in and pressed her lips to his. He wasn’t expecting it, he definitely hadn’t. He blinked slowly before realizing that he was acting like a fool. Natasha was kissing him. Actually kissing him. He quickly regained his brain function and leaned in and kissed her back. He reached over and placed a hand on her hip.

“Anyone could be a good parent if they wanted to be and actually tried.” Nobody was born to become a parent, some people just took to it better than others. But maybe one of these days they’ll end up seeing Clint walking around with a mini version of himself. “Alright alright, Mr. Adult I was only teasing.” Eli shook his head tiredly before sticking his palm out to let Lucky sniff at him. Almost ready to run and answer door when Clint beat him to it. “Yo, come on. I told you I’d pay… oh well.” Considering he invited himself in like this and used more than half of Clint’s first aid kit. Might as well drop off a whole new kit tomorrow to make them fair and square. He’s too hungry to worry about it now. “Two slices, please.”

“That’s true but some people just aren’t meant to be parents.” Clint shrugged a little and ruffled his dog’s head. He was pretty sure that his parents shouldn’t have been parents. He would play parent for his dog, that was more than enough, he wouldn’t fuck that up. “You’re damn right you were just teasing.” He smirked proudly before dropping the food on the table. “Alright. Do you need a plate or will you just eat out of the box?” He rose a brow and tilted his head lightly. “As you wish, my lord.” He smirked playfully. After he sat down again and began eating his pizza, he decided to strick up conversation again. “So. How are things between you and Kate? Good?”

 “Leave me alone Clint” The redhead replied, turning away “I can handle myself” Pale hands lay tangled on her lap while she speaks quietly, pressing her lips together and blinking fast to get rid of any moist building under her eyelids.

   “Tell me something stupid.” The redhead asked, unfolding a blanket that was lying beside them over the cushions (probably the only tidy possession he had in the entire apartment) as her fingers tangled with his over her lap.

“Lucky has learned to open the fridge and he’ll grab his own damn pizza. When I wake up in the morning, he’ll have cleaned out the fridge. It fucking sucks.”