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OH YEAH FUNNY STORY!! After my first class on Wednesday (?) I went to my old 7th grade math teachers room and sat with her while I was having a mental breakdown and played Roblox until I calmed down 😁
IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE OVER THIS BOY. I DONT LNOW HIS NAME NOR WHERE HE LIVES AT SO IM JUST SCREWED UNTIL THE WINTERGUARD SEASON COMES TO AN END CAUSE HES JUST MY TYPE IN A BOY
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I think I’m a little overbearing when it comes to my interests, but I really like to express myself that way. I don’t mean to be overbearing though. I think that’s why I’m a good listener when it comes to people talking about things they’re interested in and passionate about. I like seeing them happy and it makes me happy too.
I can’t stop thinking about this person I saw at a winterguard competition back in like February or March. I couldn’t tell if they were a guy or girl but they were so damn fineeeee. I would actually cry happy tears if I ever saw them again, I should’ve took my chance to get their number/snap/etc when I had the chance. They were probably too old for me but UGGHHH…
(I think they were a guy but then again I could be wrong)
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I used to have a friend/partner that would get mad anytime I wasn’t comfortable with doing anything such as going out late, skipping classes, etc. I’m so glad I’m close to dropping her. I may only have two friends but they’ve been my best friends since 5th and 6th grade even if we’ve had arguments. I love them sm.
A bear wouldn’t have told me he wanted to see me strapped down nude on a plain dirty mattress, so he could kiss my body all over and use it to his advantage when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade
I’ll never be able to give proof of it either because I was sitting at the lunch table eating my lunch. Everybody loves that kid. I can’t confront him because he moved away in grade 6. I didn’t know it was literally harassment/assault until grade 8. It still unsettles me.
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. Mostly venting because I’m too scared to tell anyone irl
. -THESE ARENT DIRECTED TO THE SAME PERSON-
. Wonders of why I’m so mentally drained :)
. I just need someone to listen to them without lashing at me or taking me to the doctor just to be told to take medicine that has never really helped completely
. It makes me feel better knowing someone might see it and relate
“Trust me we’re proud of you!” You’re only proud of me in front of other people. You never bother to say it when it’s only me around.
“It’s body so it’s your choice” Not until I wanna have my hair modified that doesn’t suit your liking.
“Why are you so anxious about your grades all the time?” because I have vivid memories of getting hit as a kid because of my grades, always expected to be the top. I was in second grade and had a novice, it was mid term, you could have helped me instead of hitting me.
“Why don’t you ever speak up?” Cause when I do it gets ignored or I get made fun of for it.
“Don’t degrade them.” Then why do you degrade me every single day of my life? “You know I’m joking!” No you aren’t you’re mentally destroying me one by one, you’re one of the main reasons I’m insecure.
“You never hang out with us or talk with us anymore. Do you still like us?” I have massive panic attacks internally if I even think about asking them if I can hang out with anyone. It never really changes no matter how long my parents have known you.
“You never ask for anything when we’re out shopping, why?” Cause I know later in it’s gonna be something that youre gonna make fun of.
“I’ll support you always!” Only while he’s gone for a while. Then, I’m shut out for even trying to find out who exactly I am. I’m sure you did it as a teen too.
“I need to put cameras in your room, it’s a requirement.” So you wanna watch me and my friends while we sleep? You wanna watch my every move and all my daily actions. You give me no privacy at all, I’m sick and tired of it, it’s creepy and embarrassing on your part.
“Do you need a therapist?” Yes, I do. I’ve told you that over a two years ago and I’ve never been taken or referred to one.
“I’m tired, too. Ya’ know?” You’re physically tired. When I say I’m tired I mean I’m mentally exhausted.
“Why are you so clingy?” Cause I’m always off to myself around other people, I trust you the most.
“Why are you so emotional?” I can’t physically nor mentally help it.
“You don’t really seem anxious/act like you have anxiety.” I mask it. I wouldn’t have to if my medication worked. Even if I don’t it gets ignored in person.
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