MOVED TO CLODIISMS

don’t go carol brady on me.

we’ve been through this. we live that hug life.

it’s a hoodie, not a sleeping bag. wake up.

foolish. embarrassing. stupid.

could be blood. could be strawberry jam.

one week later and i’m still not over frankenstein’s monster. who am i?

she called taylor swift america’s sweetheart. she was asking for a fight.

time to scream.

even thugs cry.

UNACCEPTABLE!

lock your door. there’s a bat in the hall.

and that’s how i ate an entire jar of cookies and passed out on your kitchen floor.

kill me, algebra, one more time.

he was busting a move to the beastie boys.

i stole a cow for you. who else can say that?

we’re having a golden girls marathon tonight.

stop doing somersaults.

why do you have a shirtless photo of clay matthews as your desktop background?

sure, you can hide out in here. if you promise to leave my xena: warrior princess cutout alone.

it was probably the piggly wiggly pig.

a is for accident. l if for you still love me.  

edgar allan poe. or as i like to call him: cap’n scream.

did you spill salt on your cut? tell the truth.  

i drank two red bulls and got into a fist fight with god under that tree. i need a nap.

we ditched and played basketball at the park.

beep. beep. woo!

i broke his nose. duh.

what if pod people are just giant ipods with an advanced intelligence?

please and thank you will get you far in life.

the real life version of beavis and butthead.

holy shit. that was scary.

pills. pills. tic tacs.

trees have feelings too, asshole.

what would spongebob do?  

cheetah prints are life.

honk for hummus.

i’m dancing with myself. you should try it.

hey, buddy. need a hug? i bet you need a hug.

go away. this snickers bar is the only friend i need.

pokémon came into my home and stole my life.

YOU’RE NOT GOING TO AMOUNT TO JACK SQUAT!

i hugged the jimmy johns guy for safely delivering my sandwich and drink.