be disgusting!

gerard isn’t an evil mastermind, he’s a severely ill man with paraphernalias and a form of self-hatred that’s indescribable as well as untreated, which manifests into the isolation and hurt he causes others. he’s not a psychopath or antisocial because he feels true and all-consuming guilt whenever he hurts the reader. he has problems with addiction, his mind processes the relationship he has with the reader is an addiction too. he craves, he feels guilt, he tries to stay away, he withdrawals, and eventually comes back around.

in my mind, despite this not being shown in the story most of his interactions with the reader result in disgust he feels for himself. he mourns, hating himself so deeply, he misses how things were between you both, the weight of knowing he fucked everything up often keeps him up at night. he dug his own grave and now he has to lay in it, no matter what he could do to better himself (eg. therapy) it will never take away the trauma he caused you.

the reasons he threatens you is simply because he knows how to keep you at arms reach. i feel like in his mind he’s trying to keep you in his life despite your hatred and disgust for him because that’s the only way he can keep you near him. deep inside his chest, he still loves his little sister and he wants to be in your life, but there is no way you can have a normal relationship because you don’t want to have a relationship with him, so he results to what he knows. which is hurting you.

there are also a lot of other moments where he’s stunted your social growth, you’ve had crushes, at rare times you’ve even had relationships that have been ruined by gerard’s presence in your life. he’s crueler, meaner, jealous even. he threatens you, threatens himself, at times he’s even interacted with your exes, saying shit to keep them away. because of this, you’ve developed this dependency to him despite your desperate attempts to stop it, he’s the only thing that’s vaguely similar to what romance is and given his constant sabotage to your love life, it’s affected how you see romance and yourself. that’s why i hinted at there being times were the reader has willingly had sex with gerard, because she feels like there is nothing else better for her.

it’s like stockholm syndrome tbh.

going back to the question, it’s complicated because even if gerard has a change of heart the reader wouldn’t want to keep the baby. like, abortion seems like the only thing on her mind. if you want to be more fucked, who knows maybe the reader has had an abortion before, maybe gerard knows, maybe he doesn’t given he’s often holed up in his apartment. it’s up to you.

if somehow they decide to keep the baby, they would have to deal with the familial effects a baby could have. keeping the father a secret, pretending the father is this make-believe one night stand, you all still live with your mother so it could be.. complicated. i feel like gerard would probably put it for the reader to kinda live down in the basement with him, so he could “help,” and maybe you guys would have “more room for a baby.” mikey is definitely onto you both, but he’s too nervous to say anything. like, what is he supposed to say after all? “did gerard get you pregnant?” absolutely not, he doesn’t want to start issues.