CLEMENTINE

WORDS BY ME. INTERVIEW BELOW W/ BRITTNEY. ALL PHOTOS ARE FROM WALGREENS DISPOSABLE CAMERA + UNEDITED. 

Brittney took me to Vegas for my birthday. We were supposed to be there to see her friend DJ at the Encore Beach Club, but he cancelled to stay in Paris. So we were left with 24 hours and no plans. We were staying at the Encore - which attracted us mainly because of its topless “European Pool.”  The second I met Brittney at the hotel, we stripped down to our bikinis and giddily made our way there. Much to our dismay, the Euro pool was closed for a private event so we had to sun ourselves at the mainstream American pool with our tops on :( Immediately we were singled out by a group of beautiful, tan French men who beckoned us to their corner of the pool. I sat by the edge, observing them as I sipped on my virgin piña colada and sucked on the cherry like it was candy. They were inquiring about Brittney’s tattoos, particularly perplexed by the tiny sketch of snakes and ladders on her arm. As we floated around we overheard a group of ruddy, middle aged men - one of them explaining his own tattoo: an M.C. Escher print etched within a tribal pattern. Both of our jaws dropped. It was Vegas in a nutshell - a highbrow meets lowbrow spectacle, unsettlingly executed with zero irony. Like the Jeff Koons “Popeye” in the Wynn lobby. 

The French guys invited us back to their room, bragging that it was the most luxurious, spacious suite in the hotel. We met them there and discovered it was an exact replica of our room. We messed around and I hand-fed them M&Ms from the mini bar, the sticky colors melting into my fingers. We made our exit before anything got out of hand, leaving them with a sweet taste in their mouths. We then explored tourist shops in a daze, not buying anything besides Smart Pop popcorn and matching plastic dealer hats from Walgreens. Next we went to the mall. It was completely dead except for us and the employees. I shot Brittney in some of her favorite stores - Hollister and Skechers. We shared a side of Nathan’s french fries in the food court as we charged our phones.

We lazily strolled back to the hotel, and I ordered myself a chocolate cake from the room service menu. It came with one birthday candle, which I lit for myself as Brittney sang happy birthday. We finished the cake in our robes, took sexy macbook photobooth pics to send to our all-female text thread, and danced to pop songs. We dressed ourselves as we always do, ignoring the ‘club attire’ dress-code enforced at most Vegas clubs. Before getting into the club, the security guards searched every inch of my cluttered purse and patted me down. I put up a fight when they threw away my lollipop that looked like a pair of red dice. Everyone at the club asked us if we were Vegas locals. It must have been our lackluster fits and messy hair. 

We got bored quick, and left to stalk the strip. We visited the Trump Towers in awe, Brittney taking a moment to log onto the Trump wifi and tweet photos of her favorite pieces within the gaudy lobby. We left and Brittney gave me her personal tour of Vegas, whisking past clubs where her ex-boyfriends were billed to DJ, ending at the Cosmopolitan where we shared an elevator ride with a shotgun wedding party. On our way back to the hotel, we stopped again at Walgreens to buy a snack-pack of watermelon, chex mix, Budlight Lime, and more popcorn. I bought another red dice lollipop, which I misplaced later in the night. 

The next morning we woke, ate chex mix and iced coffee for breakfast, and at last found ourselves topless at the Euro pool. I left just in time to get a nice tan, making my afternoon flight. Brittney was to stay an additional night and was not at all phased by the thought of spending time in Vegas alone.

BRITTNEY ON VEGAS:

3 WORDS TO DESCRIBE VEGAS. hell on earth

WHAT IS IT ABOUT VEGAS THAT DRAWS YOU IN? i love that its like giant playground of idiots where every1 come 2 party like they never partied before 

IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT VEGAS THAT REPELS YOU? its shallow and monotonous 

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE IN ALL OF VEGAS? the euro pool at the wynn !!

HOW DO YOU ABSORB VEGAS’S RELATIONSHIP WITH ART? everything is tacky i love it 

FAVORITE PLACE TO STAY? encore

TYPICAL OUTFIT FOR A VEGAS NIGHT? something low maintenance but still thotty so i can get into the club

FAVORITE CLUB? XS and Hakkasan

MAX AMOUNT OF TIME U CAN SPEND THERE? 1 day….

IF U COULD SPEND TIME THERE WITH ANYONE WHO’D IT BE? ive never experienced vegas w chippy b4

IF U CHOULD SHOW UR ART ANYWHERE THERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? along the gondola ride at the venetian

SOMETHING YOU CAN GET THERE YOU CAN’T GET ANYWHERE ELSE? a margarita from margaritaville at 5am

ANY LAST WORDS? vegas baby…