I used to be a ghost

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

being the eldest daughter is just *asks mother what’s wrong* *cannot express emotions* *”don’t worry i’ll do it”* *fiercely independent but only bc you would rather die than inconvenience someone by asking for help* *carries the trauma of your entire family* *asks mother what’s wrong* *the constant feeling of guilt that has no known origin* *third parent. maybe even replacement father if urs is shitty enough* *emotional punching bag for both parents* *not even a slight clue as to what a healthy boundary is* *asks mother what’s wrong*

being the eldest daughter is like. i love my parents. who are these people in my house. i do not recognise the girl in the mirror. i should be more grateful. my mother gave up everything for me. i didn’t ask for that. i get along better with my father. i never want to be around a man ever again. i’m wonderful with children. i don’t want or deserve my own family. my mother is my best friend. my mother is someone i never knew. i want to be just like my mother. oh god i never want to turn into my mother. please love me. please leave me. let me be whole.