Incorrect Class of '09 Quotes

Emily: So, microdosing is basically, like, when you take just a little bit of a drug or whatever for, like, a while so you get kinda used to it? That way you don't crash as hard later doing a lot of it. I dunno, that's what I do. Kelly: And this is kosher and everything? Like, God won't get mad? Emily: Yeah, you aren't even getting that high. You'd only feel it if you were, like, a baby. Kelly: Sweet. Kelly: Does this mean Ari is 'microdosing' heterosexuality? Emily: I don't know what that bitch is doing.

Kelly: Wait, so... How do these work again? Karen: You take parts from each person in the couple's name and then you put them together! Usually in a way that sounds nice. Like... Dramione! Draco and Hermione from Harry Potter! Emily: Didn't you tell us that Ron and Hermione get together or whatever? Karen: Well, yeah, but it's a fan thing! A ship doesn't necessarily have to be accurate to the canon material to have a name. Oh! And, sometimes, if the characters have symbols or objects associated with them that can be their ship name too! Emily: Like... the 'at' sign and 'dollar' sign? Kelly: Is Ke$ha a ship name? Emily: Oh, good question. Karen: No- Um, let's just stick to the name thing for now. Emily: So... Then... Necka? For Nicole and Jecka? Karen: I mean, sure, but I would've gone with Jeckole. Emily: Bitch, Nicole has to come first, no way Jecka tops. Didn't you say that was a rule? Karen: I mean, it is sometimes in yaoi, but- Kelly: Nickle! Karen and Emily: ... Kelly: What? It's parts of their names put together and Nicole is first 'cause she's the guy in their relationship! Emily: Bitch, you didn't even do half and half! You just took the 'k' from Jecka and replaced the 'o'! Kelly: Alright, Miss Spelling Bee, I didn't know you were gonna get so hung up on the rules! Karen was just saying there aren't any rules! Emily: There are if you don't want to sound r*tarded! Kelly: This is r*tarded! Karen, quietly: ... This is the closest thing I've had to friendship in years.

Kylar: Aw, fuck yeah, it's Taco Tuesday at the cafeteria! I love tacos! Nicole: You mean 'stale chips and spicy sloppy joes'? Jecka: It's kind of gross that you're this excited about it. Are you, like, an eighth Mexican? Kylar: I'm not a gross Mexican! I don't even speak Spanish! Nicole: Really miss your heritage, huh? Just like grandma used to make? Kylar: You don't have to be Mexican to enjoy Taco Tuesday! TACO TUESDAY IS NON-DENOMINATIONAL! Jecka: Jeez, who taught you that word? Nicole: A good PBS special, probably. Kylar: Whatever! I'm gonna hog all the taco meat so you guys don't get any! Jecka: That's not gonna be a problem, Nicole is a very magnetic lesbian. Nicole: I'm not gay but honestly, yeah, I probably do get more bitches than you. Kylar: FUCK YOU!

Jecka: Fuck, I hate my dad so much. We don't have enough money to get any actual food. Nicole: The recession is the great equalizer. Jecka: Shut up. Okay, I'm kind of hungry but not that hungry, do you wanna split a large fry or something? Nicole: I don't want fries, I want a chicken sandwich! I haven't eaten all day! Jecka: This is the worst combination of things we could be right now! Nicole: No it's not. Jecka: ... Wh- Nicole: Murderer and murder victim. Jecka: NICOLE!

Emily: Ew, why are the words on your thing so far apart? They remind me of my cousin's eyes. Nicole: Inbred much? Emily: His parents might be siblings, I don't know. They're not allowed at Thanksgiving anymore. Nicole: I think the text is, like, justified? I have to change the alignment. Emily: None of this bullshit is justified. If it were, I'd be getting paid in tits and coke to do slideshows. Nicole: Amen to that. Kelly: Nicole! I didn't know you converted! Nicole: WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE I AM GET A LIFE

Crispin: Haha, yeah... So, did you want to, um- Jecka: Crispin, you are, like, the king of incompetence. Nicole: Now that's a ten dollar word. Crispin: Wh- Huh? Is that, like, a good thing? Jecka: NO! Nicole: Do we know anyone in the yearbook club? Could we get him in as that? Like, 'Most Incompetent'? Jecka: Ugh, I think Karen is on that, but she'd probably think it was too mean. Nicole: Shit, I guess it's time to take over yearbook club. What's that fancy French word you learned for it? Jecka: A coup d'etat? Nicole: God, I love that you're in AP classes. Alright, bye Crispin. Hope you get run over, or something. Crispin: I- Thanks???

Nicole: I was born to be a stupid white girl in California. Jecka: You are a stupid white girl! Nicole: Not in jail I'm not. Jecka: No amount of knuckle tattoo and performative lesbianism is going to make you fit in with the Latina girl gangs here! Nicole: Says the white girl who looks like she's from California.

Nicole: Mr. Katz gave me detention again! And this time it wasn't even my fault! What the fuck! Ari: Nicole, your problem is that everything is your fault to you. Everything is your doing, and you're always upset about it, even when it's something you didn't do. You could spin anything to be simultaneously your fault and everyone else's fault. You're not an unreliable narrator, you're just a bad one. Nicole: ... Where the fuck did that come from? Ari: I... I've had it on my mind for a while. Guidance Counselor: That was an astute observation, Ari. I'm very proud that you've finally spoken up for yourself. Nicole: JESUS- Did you follow us to this Five Guy's? Kelly: OMG, are you guys here on a date, too? Nicole: 'Too'? Kelly: Yeah, I'm here with the guidance counselor, but it's just so I don't get suspended for fighting Emily. Nicole: The world is fucking bleak, huh? Ari: I just wanted Cajun fries...

Nicole: When I was little, I always knew I wanted to grow up to be mean to boys. Turns out that's just what happened. Kelly: OMG, manifestinggg. Get it queen. Ari: Didn't your dad name-drop you in his suicide note? I don't think- Nicole: Did I ask?! Ari: No... Nicole, sighing: I miss Jecka.