Aurora

I would like to start this by saying hi, and telling you a little about my self. My name is aurora, and I am lucky enough to be born to a loving mother and father, an amazing sister, and a built in best friend, aka my twin sister. I've stepped away from tumblr for I think a couple months now, and I will continue to be away, but I may pop on occasionally, my love for cc is just too strong. I enjoy math, I play tennis, and some golf, however I'm horrendous at both.

As some of you may know, I step away for around 5 weeks in August, and that was because I was placed in the mental hospital. That's how it has been for a while, I've been officially diagnosed with depression for around two years now, it has rocked my shit. I have no energy, and all I cry almost every single night. I've lost about 20 lbs, had chunks of my hair fall out, and have had constant headaches.

Unfortunately, on September 10th, my world was turned upside down. Throughout all my struggles, my twin sister, Aubry, has been my rock, she was always there for me, even on days when I couldn’t bring myself to even eat. Aubry is the reason I am here today, she held me while I sobbed about not wanting to do any of it anymore. And unfortunately, Aubry, the one so full of life, Aubry who had such big dreams for the world and her self, Aubry who had a whole future waiting for her, is the one not here today. On September 9th, my sister went to bed, and simply never woke up, and while I won’t go into details, I think you get the story. 

It’s almost funny, that I, the twin who didn’t even want to be alive somedays, is the one who is here typing out this post, while Aubry, who lived every day to it’s fullest, is the one who was laid to rest far too soon. Her death truly changed the way I see life. She was perfectly healthy, nothing wrong with her, and one day she just didn’t wake up. Life is just such a precious thing, it’s the sort of thing that slips through your fingers, runs down your back, and is brushed off your feet. Always there, until one day it isn’t. Until one day it’s gone and you have no idea what happened to the beautiful thing that you once had. 

I live every day for my sister. I think that’s part of the reason I stayed, because it is the least Aubry deserved, someone to carry on her legacy. Someone to dream all the dreams she never got to dream, and someone to live out the life she will never get.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you guys to hug your loved ones close, you never know when it will be your last hug, or your last “I love you” or you last time seeing their face. And while you cannot control death, you can control how you live your life. Live your life to its fullest, chase all your beautiful, wild dreams. And if you cannot do it for me, please, I beg of you, do it for my dearest Aubry.

Thank you,