Updates
SoâŚitâs been a while, etc. etc. etc. At least I wonât quote Staind. Good lord, that would be awful.
An apology of sorts
I suppose there is something I should talk about. The past year hasnât been good at my job. Since probably April, my boss - a man in his late 50s/early 60s who fucked up one too many business decisions, and is now the bitch of a private equity firm - has given up on trusting me to do my work, and has his lackey (an art designer who has been working there 15 years (including when it went bankrupt), long enough that he probably doesnât recognize that his nose is brown and smelly) serve as a boss, even though I donât report to him. Itâs been so bad that the 2-week vacation I had in May/June wasnât fun because I was anxious about shit that happened at work the day I left. In addition, tensions boiled over where I was placed on probation for 60 days (i.e., I would have to âimproveâ or get fired). That 60-day probation was lifted a little over a month because I âimproved considerably.â That this happened the day after another person was fired whose work I would have to doâŚwell, we know the real score.
Itâs been a struggle throughout, and extremely stressful. I have few places to relieve that stress. (Furthermore, as part of the provisions of my probation, Iâve been denied the chance to go to counseling). As a result, itâs taken a shape of anger, where Iâve lashed out repeatedly at people. Sometimes itâs at friends, sometimes random strangers on the street. Sometimes itâs on Discord and forums. Consequently, Iâve alienated a lot of people, especially in the 3DX community. My absence from the #3DX Discord is a reflection of this. For thisâŚIâm sorry.
However, at the same time, I canât just disappear from everything. While my absence will help mitigate any further damage, it wonât solve the real problem. So, Iâm trying my best to figure out things without completely disappearing from view. Itâs not easy.
Iâm looking for jobs, but after a promising start (including an in-person interview at a big tech company), itâs beenâŚnot great. I havenât been as focused on it, admittedly, but now at this point I need to redouble my efforts. Of course, the problem is that December is a bad month for hiring in general. So I may not see any results for a while. The only solace I have is that my boss is out of work for a month starting mid-December, which gives me at the very least some mental breathing room. I can go back to counseling, do a couple things I used to do such as work from home ocassionally (whichâll help with in-persons), and so on. But stillâŚthis isnât fun.
Stories to Tell
With that saidâŚIâve been still writing. In fact, Iâve been writing more than I usually do lately. I just completed the first chapter in a sci-fi series called âA Long Trip to Nowhere Important.â While using Dizzydillsâ characters and some of its lore, thisâll be its own story/universe. I was inspired by some discussion in Dizzyâs forum about a âroad tripâ story. Now, thatâs actually kind of a novel idea: A road trip, but in space. That has a lot of different fun ideas you can play with. And it got my gears whirring. I wrote out a couple stems for different episodes in the story, and have completed one chapter so far. That is currently going through the first round of editing with my editor (who is back! Yaaaay), and will probably get another round before I publish it in key locations such as Literotica and Hentai-Foundry.
This story is the first time Iâve made full use of Scrivener, a writerâs tool that allows you to better write scripts and stories and such. I also used Scapple, a way to jot down notes and connect them in specific ways. Itâs had its uses, but Iâm not entirely sold on the idea.
There are other stories Iâm working on. One is this original idea Iâve been toying with, currently titled âScene in an abandoned bathroom.â Itâll probably be a one-shot. Iâm uncertain when Iâll finish that, but it should be soon. Thatâll likely go through a different editor. While futa-centric, itâs got elements which Supro would certainly call âCronenbergianâ đ
The other completed stories, âThose Who Came Beforeâ and âCantata for the Wolf Moon,â will face edits soon, likely after âA Long Trip.â
Iâve also worked a bit on a script idea for an animation I was playing around with. Which leads me to my next pointâŚ
Computer Boxes
Iâm building a computer. Itâs a work in progress right now getting all the parts, but I should have everything by the end of this week. I had the budget to go a little wild, and Black Friday produced some good results đ
While itâs not super high-end (no Threadripper), itâs got the parts I need for what I want to do. Ryzen 3900X (or 3950X, I might attempt to snag it tomorrow if they restock for 30 seconds at Amazon or something), 2080 Ti, 32 Gigs of RAM, 1TB SSD + 12 TB HDDâŚItâs got good things.
While I do intend to use it for gaming (obviously), I have other agendas. One of which is to learn Blender, Unity, and UE4. I realize that Iâm not much to the scene without at least learning some goods. Honestly, Iâd rather not involve myself with Daz, so I thought the best route to learning something would be through animation, namely Blender and Unity, along with possibly UE4. I have the tools needed to learn them. Itâs just a matter of learning them, really.
And thenâŚ
What Lies Ahead?
That remains uncertain. The specter of my job is damning. I donât intend to stay here longer than I have to. Nor do I wish to let this stress destroy me.
I will say that, by the end of this year, Iâll be publishing a story. Maybe 2, maybe 3, but at least one for now. From there, Iâm uncertain what the future holds, writing-wise. There is a distinct possibility I may explore doing scripts for voice actresses, but Iâm not sure I want to do that. I feel a little less confident there.
Once I have the PC up and running, Iâll be gaming for a bit, but I will certainly dive into Blender, Unity, and UE4 at some point. Not sure when, though.
For the immediate future, Iâm going to try to update a little more often than I have. If not here, then on Twitter. Just little updates here and there. Because my exposure to Twitter is minimal, this shouldnât be a problem? But Iâm not going to be active on there beyond ocassionally replying to something Gazukull or Supro or DB said.
Iâll keep you posted.
Is âthose who came beforeâ an Assassinâs Creed story?
Best of luck with your current and future plans. Blender 2.8 is much easier than previous versions.
Ryzen 3900X is still super high-end đ
Do remember, I still welcome you to the #3DX discord server as a writer.
