lots of boy toys 💋

STERLING: nah, the dude seems alright, im being honest.

STERLING: but what if i'm not cut out for that?

STERLING: clara, logically, if they were quick enough to dump their relationships for the public...do you really think they would let anyone know that she is having someone else's kid? let alone an ISLE BORN child, which hasn't really happened over here /ever/?

STERLING: but whatever, call me a fucking coward, i don't give a fuck.

CLARA: well, thanks, i guess.

CLARA: then you just have to learn like every other parent in the world.

STERLING: congrats.

STERLING: im not acting like my life is over, it's just /that part/ of it is over. im not gonna sit around and boo-hoo over some dumb ass royals who could give two fucks about anyone but themselves.

STERLING: why are you fighting so hard for this??

STERLING: while i would LOVE to see king mitch go up in flames, i really just don't give a fuck about either of them anymore to throw a big hissy fit. the kids gonna be fine without me in it's life.

CLARA: i know you're saying that sarcastically, but thank you.

CLARA: because we grew up without half of our parents and it sucked. and we never got to be an actual family on the isle and you getting the chance to have one is a big deal, sterling. not everyone gets that.

STERLING: i honestly could care less about your dating history, it's hard to keep up with regardless. but cute to see you care so much.

STERLING: well it is what it is, clara. for fucks sake, what do you want me to do! maybe they didn't but they have way better means than anything i could offer.

STERLING: i got fucking fired from my job, knocked my ex girl friend up, slept with ela which i know is only gonna come bite me in the ass, and i don't want to fucking deal with the thought of having to maybe become a fucking dad because ours SUCKED.

STERLING: i have a headache.

CLARA: technically, he is my dating present.

CLARA: i want you to do /something/ other than just act like your life is over and you have no power.

CLARA: you're too smart to stay unemployed for long, your ex-girlfriend is capable and provided for whether she stays engaged to mitch or not, and while that's incredibly gross and i'll never see you the same way ever again, technically you were both single and all of us have regrettable hook-ups in our past.

STERLING: whatever, don't know the dude, could care less.

STERLING: ...they would, and are going to, but it's fine. i don't think i would exactly make a great father anyways, guys like mitch do. didn't exactly have that great of one raising us anyways.

STERLING: im starting to think the royals are just as fucked in the head as we are, clara. only difference is, we own up to it.

CLARA: well i do. so don't.

CLARA: it's definitely /not/ fine, sterling.

CLARA: i'm pretty sure neither triss nor mitch had great fathers raising them earlier, so not exactly a great argument.

STERLING: and sometimes they don't.

STERLING: dude has like, no friends, im not concerned about him.

STERLING: basically i got played, easy as that. and now, apparently, i have to deal with this stupid bullshit now.

STERLING: if you honestly think that they'll not say it's their child, you've gotten fairytale brainwashed. i was easily dumped to save king mitch, pretty sure my narrative is over and one with. save a scandal.

CLARA: yeah, and sometimes the ones that are unprepared end up being good parents, too.

CLARA: don't be rude. he wouldn't tell anyways.

CLARA: call me crazy all you want, but i refuse to believe mitch and triss are heartless enough to keep you away from your child just for appearances.

i’m not really at liberty to say too much about it, but personally, i’m not the biggest supporter of that coupling and how they came to be. 

STERLING: there are people who plan these things out and are prepared.

STERLING: ...right.

STERLING: well, only because i don't expect you to blab from the mountains even if you do have a big mouth, you're predictions were right. you're gonna be an aunt. congrats.

STERLING: too bad that kid will never know who his real dad is but, far better off that way probably.

CLARA: yeah and even they end up being shitty parents sometimes.

CLARA: thanks. i’m still gonna tell orion though.

STERLING: okay, and so what if it /is/ mine

STERLING: there's not much i could do about it

STERLING: im not a father type, never will be.

STERLING: so its not really my issue, they'll grow up blissfully in the lap of luxury with the king and queen.

CLARA: i don't think most people are "parent types" until they actually become a parent

CLARA: you re-evaluate. see if you CAN become a dad, see if you want to, and if triss wants you to.

STERLING: how do /you/ know?

STERLING: it is NOT my baby.

STERLING: you have no hard evidence that it was, in fact, me.

STERLING: she told me her and mitch came up with this plan around halloween.

STERLING: meaning, it's not necessarily me. for all i know, they did this to ensure their marriage. so once again...

STERLING: not. my. problem.

CLARA: sterling you've gotta be KIDDING me

CLARA: this was CLEARLY not a fine-laid plan they just waited until the very end of the year to enact

CLARA: plus "child of questionable parentage conceived out of wedlock" isn't really the clincher on an arranged royal marriage

CLARA: and even if it was, don't you think you should still find out?

STERLING: Clarice.

STERLING: ........alright?

STERLING: once again, not my problem.

CLARA: ew.

CLARA: as in, the person who she was with over a month ago is probably the father.

STERLING: ........

STERLING: cool, a new heir to the throne

STERILNG: how is this, my problem, exactly?

CLARA: sterling.

CLARA: they weren't even together a month ago.

CLARA: i understand you might not exactly be an expert on fertility and pregnancy and all that, but

[ delayed ]

STERLING: damn

STERLING: becoming queen must be so exhausting.