the lightning strike

ABOUT JAEMIN

jaemin was born and raised to immigrant parents yongsun and taeyong moon in barton point, maine.

though theirs seemed like a charmed life from an outsider’s perspective, it was anything but.

even before jaemin’s birth, taeyong, his father, had proved himself to be a nefarious character. he was manipulative, abusive and downright cruel to his then-girlfriend, now-wife, yongsun.

it was that same wit he used to coerce her to have sex with him out of wedlock, unprotected at that, and that same wit that convinced her to run away from their native north korea with him, carrying their unborn son.

the road there wasn’t easy, but after a strenuous few months, the moons found themselves in maine.

jaemin was a child yongsun never wished to be carrying in the first place, and postpartum depression hit her like a truck.

jaemin, only a child, always sought his parents’ approval, yet never seemed to get it. for taeyong, jaemin was never good enough. for yongsun, he was the son of her abuser only. nothing more.

it wasn’t until taeyong’s physical abuse stretched on to him at only five years old that yongsun’s maternal instincts kicked in. she didn’t become mother of the year overnight (not ever, in fact), but that was when it clicked for her that jaemin was a victim of his father too, not his mirror image.

even as a child, jaemin was overworked. he partook in many extracurricular activities at school. he was part of the soccer, basketball and football team, notably. outside of school, he took spanish lessons, piano lessons and learned taekwondo. 

there was very little time he had to himself to devote to something of his choosing. in his father’s eyes, he was nothing but a project. a vessel to create a younger, better version of himself. he wanted to mold his son into the perfect man.

being from north korea, his parents were very conservative. and needless to say, jaemin grew up surrounded by bigots and became one himself. 

though his first, repressed memory of attraction was watching a korean drama with his father and ogling the attractive male lead, jaemin grew up extremely homophobic. a bully.

he made many enemies in school, and friends, but the wrong kind. 

he spent most of his high school career partying, doing drugs and hanging with the wrong crowd, having meaningless hookups. he was out of control, but kept it well hidden from his family, doing his best to appear the perfect son he was meant to be.

little did they know their perfect son had been part of an underground boxing ring for months and beat up people for fun... for money, too.

he’d been taking boxing classes at the callum james boxing gym for a couple of months now, a way to blow off some steam and yet another talent to add to his arsenal, and there, he met luke james.

luke, the owner of said gym, was his trainer, but min couldn’t of predicted how much more he’d become to him. a friend, a mentor, a confidante: the father he never had.

though luke was entirely against the idea of underground boxing in general, when he found out min was partaking in it, he figured it’d be better to lend him a hand than scold him.

in so many ways did the young, troubled boy remind him of the boy he himself once was, and through helping him, he found some healing for himself.

still, as time went by, jaemin’s behaviour only got more and more erratic, and when it came to a breaking point, his mother decided to intervene.

yongsun decided to send her son to therapy, and while taeyong was absolutely against it, she had her way of getting what she wanted. they’d go with her gentler alternative first and only if it didn’t help would taeyong get his way.

jaemin himself was reticent about going to therapy, opening himself up for scrutiny to a total stranger, actually showing emotion... it was so foreign to him. but his therapist, eleanor king, to this day remains one of the best thing that happened to him.

it had to get worse before it could get better. shortly after starting therapy, min found himself in the worst place he ever had mentally. 

he shut himself off, shed his friends, dropped the ball in school. he felt numb. nothing he enjoyed before brought him joy anymore. he found himself lashing out more to those closest to him.

change came slowly but surely. his view on the world evolved as he did. 

it was a dark time, but it wasn’t all dark. light came into his life in the form of diego flores.

they met in the underground boxing ring, and it wasn’t love at first sight. 

in fact, it was through luke that they properly got acquainted. soon enough, they started training together at his gym, and even with their seven year age gap, they got along surprisingly well. diego’s softer nature complemented jaemin’s harsher one.

diego got closer than min would’ve liked him to. he preferred to keep others at a distance, but diego was tenacious, consistent with his efforts in getting to know min.

he didn’t know exactly when the air shifted between them, but shift it did.

back then, min was still deeply in the closet, unaware of his own attraction to men and men alone. so the warmth diego’s presence brought on was foreign, confusing.

he tried shutting him out many times, but diego seemed to always come back. his own little boomerang.

things came to a head in june of 2020. jaemin took a leap of faith. broken down, confused and encouraged to explore by his therapist, he kissed diego.

it was as if he’d gone through his entire life half-awake until that very moment. the fire it ignited within him was indescribable. but that feeling, though exhilarating, was also terrifying.