sophie

               "   for   the   fiftieth   time,   that's   just   your   face.   the   sooner   you   accept   yourself   the   less   we'll   have   to   have   these   conversations.   did   you   listen   to   the   lady   gaga   album   like   i   told   you   to   ?   don't   be   a   drag   just   be   a   queen   ?   rejoice   and   love   yourself   today   ?   baby   you   were   born   this   way   ?   "   she   sighed   and   grabbed   her   phone   to   play   born   this   way.   the   interruption   of   focus   was   all   she   needed   to   discard   the   outfit   planning   she   was   doing,   and   move   over   to   focus   on   whatever   it   was   noah   was   doing.   "   why   can't   i   tag   you   in   them   ?   you   on   the   run   or   something   ?   because   you   should   really   let   me   know   now,   i've   gone   this   long   without   any   charges   and   i'm   not   gonna   start   now.   "   a   miracle   in   its   own   right   with   her   hobby   of   breaking   and   entering,   but   she   wasn't   going   to   rock   the   boat.   "   okay.   ew.   i   don't   think   anyone   but   you   wants   that,   but   with   the   gems   you   got   going   on   shirtless   with   the   some   body   glitter   is   the   best   bet.   i   have   some   iridescent   glitter   in   the   make   up   bag   somewhere   if   you   ask   nicely.   "

following his dismissive tsk, noah let out a prolonged 'wow.' ❝ and how many tiktok edits of your face are floating around the internet? ❞ before noah could further protest or even plead for nevaeh to leave the DJing to the professionals, she had already queued up lady gaga. noah hadn’t listened to the song she recommended, and though he liked it, he couldn’t bring himself to give her the satisfaction of being right. ❝ what? no, nothing like that. my record is squeaky clean. i just don’t want strangers on the internet knowing where i am all the time. i'm obviously looking out for your safety too. ❞ realizing he shouldn’t delve into why photos of him with other people weren’t ideal, he turned his attention back to his pile of clothes, which yielded no interesting options. tempted by nevaeh’s offer of body glitter, he reluctantly accepted. he sighed as he acquiesced to her terms. ❝ fine. can I have some body glitter please? ❞

he knocks at her door and rings her doorbell over and over again. it earns him a few odd stares from people passing by, but vanni doesn't care. or maybe they were staring at the bouquet of sunflowers in his hand and thought they were beautiful! (he doubts that. he knows he looks crazy right now.) "abril~" he calls out as if that'd make her open the door faster. "if you don't open this door in the next minute, i'm drinking all of your diet coke right now!" it's an empty thread and he knows it - he's far more scared of her reaction if she caught him chugging her diet coke before she could even drink it for herself. this was the woman he was going to ask to be the pseudo-aunt of his child, after all. he'll be nice to her for... about an hour or less (at least ten minutes, which is a long time for vanni to go without teasing abril!)

abril sat cross-legged on her couch, her laptop cradled in her lap as the hard drive hummed loudly, a warning against the multitude of tabs she had open. she had briefly abandoned her paper to browse online sales when an incessant knock at the door interrupted her concentration, accompanied by a familiar voice. with a groan, she shoved her laptop aside and kicked the blankets off her legs. ❝ i’m coming, relax! ❞ she called from the hallway before flinging the door open. her exasperated expression met the eager face of vanni, whose hands were occupied with a bouquet of flowers in one and a six-pack of diet coke in the other. she should have known he wasn't joking. ❝ oh, wow, vanni, you didn’t have to do that, ❞ she answered, extending a hand outwards to relieve him of their strain. they both knew he did. ❝ well, thanks for stopping by. get home safe! ❞ abril chirped, turning to go back inside and gently bumping the door with her hip so it slowed to a close.

Mal's walls were back up again, as if nothing transpired between them. They both knew nothing about each other (aside from the spots that made them weak). ❝ Just give me the damn ring. Please. ❞

❝ it was implied, ❞ abril answered sternly, the furrow between her brows now deepening. ❝ jesus, get over yourself. ❞ mal’s words were venomous, and her casual dismissal cut deeper than she wanted to admit. she knew she wasn’t mal’s girlfriend—she had convinced herself she didn’t even want to be—but her words still stung. the last thing abril wanted to do after receiving such a cutting remark was relinquish the one thing she had over mal in this moment. so, she elected to ignore her comment and tightened her grip around the ring. ❝ i guess you don’t want it back that badly then. ❞ the constant push and pull with mal could be as exhilarating as it was exhausting. abril was so careful to make sure that throughout her whole life, she was always the one in the relationship that had the upper hand. that she always carefully placed herself in a position where she cared the least. there was power in that. but with mal she constantly found herself caught in a relentless game of who could care the least. and she was losing.  abril squared her shoulders in a desperate bid to reclaim her composure. finally, she answered, ❝ or what? ❞

it falters  for  a  moment — a  thought  running  through  her  head,  ‘  fuck…  did  i  do  too  much  ?  ‘  shrugging  the  doubts  away  she  forces  an  air  of  nonchalance.  ❝  nope  just  us.  i  mean  it’s  more  so  about  variety  and  all.  i’ll  eat  for  two  don’t  worry  about  it.  ❞  already  having  taken  a  seat,  she’d  begun  to  riffle  through  the  box  in  search  of  her  favorite  character  piece.  ❝  oh  !  i  call  red  !  it’s  my  good  luck  piece.  and  can  you  put  some  music  on  or  something.  the  heater  running  as  ambient  noise  is  so  not  a  gaming  vibe.  ❞  she  tosses  the  remote  to  noah,  eye  flitting  between  him  and  other  less  conspicuous  sights.  gosh,  she  sure  did  the  normal  thing  well.    ─ ✶⋆.˚

❝ oh, okay good, ❞ noah answered with a bit of relief. it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to share astrid’s company with other people, but it wasn’t ideal. still, sometimes he worried how much they could trust each other to behave normally when they were alone, or that he was one argument away from creating a distance he didn’t necessarily want. and if he worried about it, maybe astrid did too. but clearly things were okay between them, and even after the occasional bickering, it was nice to feel a sense of normalcy. he grabbed a handful of candy from the bowl before flopping onto the couch, a heavy breath accompanying his collapse. ❝ what? no, what if i wanted to be red?❞ he asked through a mouthful of sour patch kids. ❝ whatever, you need all the help you can get. pass me the blue piece,❞ he instructed as his lips tilted into a grin.  upon astrid’s request, he reached for the remote before announcing that he took his DJing responsibilities very seriously. he spent a couple of minutes flipping through options before coming across one of his favorites. he queued up "tongue tied" by grouplove, along with a few other songs from an old playlist of his. as they began to play, he glanced back at astrid, whose eyes appeared to be everywhere but the screen. that worried noah. ❝ is this okay? i can change it if you want.❞

it wasn’t until a voice interrupted her thoughts that she lazily turned to face the girl sitting beside her. “um, yeah sure,” abril mumbled, patting her pockets until she felt the cylindrical piece of plastic. after a few fumbling attempts, she sparked the flame and cupped it with her hand. “pre-show jitters?”

she slides the glasses onto her face , hitting a few poses ( and they were , of course , poses from dress to impress ) before taking them off and studying the frames and lens . ❝ these are cute . they don't look silly or oversized on me ? ❞

❝oh yeah?❞ abril prompted, quirking a brow while she listened to her friend describe the alleged platonic picnic date. she couldn't help it, the more details leia divulged, the harder abril worked to piece together who exactly her friend was talking about, and what exactly they were doing together. she filtered through name after name in her head, trying to determine who could possibly be worthy enough to share that experience with her. but alas, the results turned up empty. despite leia's poses, which elicited a laugh from abril, her focus remained steady. ❝first of all, i've already told you that you look hot in everything. secondly, you can't just drop a bad boy piece of information like that and not at least tell me who it's with.❞ she paused, drawing out a long, knowing "oh" and clicking her tongue. ❝i get it. is it because they're ugly? you don't have to show me a picture but i'm going to find them out online anyways so you might as well cut your losses.❞

merchandise  is  always  a  somewhat  difficult  beast  to  tame  too,  but  reyna  was  confident  in  their  abilities.  (  transferring  from  traditional  to  digital,  however.  well,  that  is  a  task  for  later  -  reyna.  )  “ooh,  jinkies  …”  muttered  in  response  to  the  flare  of  nerves,  spying  the  door  opening  and  the  bell  ringing.  “…  noah!  thanks  for  coming.  i'm  super  glad  we  could  finally  get  a  time  to  meet  up.”  immediate  switch  into  being  professional.  this  is  how  you  do  it.  “i  know  we  said  one  concept  …  but  i  had  four  come  to  mind.”

swimming with the fishes, noah's redemption arc, noah fence, all slogans that had been shot down internally by the muse himself as he tried to pick out a phrase that would resonate with his new line of merch. finding inspiration for these sorts of things did not come easy to noah, not for lack of ideas but because he could be so particular when it came to his brand. he needed something that he could look at and just feel that it was right. and some of the other artists he collaborated with in the past were fine, but he wasn't looking for fine. he wanted reyna. as noah swung the door open, a warm gust of air greeted him. his eyes flit between patrons before locating the brunette surrounded by a pile of papers. ❝hey, sorry i'm late━❞ he announced, draping his jacket over a chair before his gaze fell on the drawings scattered below. ❝oh shit, you did all these?❞

adem bumps noah's fist back, feeling supremely cool for a fleeting moment. he knew the fanny pack would pay off someday. "no problem. least i could do." he follows the other, sitting across from him on the couch, "oh, um, well... i like to think i'm pretty chill. most of the time. some of the time, at least." he tilts his head to the side, "but, uh... i didn't know how chill fruit is. but i'm glad to know it is. tell emine that next time you see her, healthy snacks are in." he'll have to call noah next time his daughter gets upset about cantaloupe and a banana in her lunch.

though noah responded with an eager nod, the extent to which he understood adem was still shaky at best. the flavors he mentioned seemed unfamiliar, but noah shrugged it off, recognizing that he just may not have the palate of a seasoned adult like adem. ❝dude i have tons of those. i mean do you want some?❞ he offered, leaning over the arm of the couch to rummage through the drawer of the stand next to him. noah’s smile widened as he pulled out a ziploc bag with contents that might have looked like sour punch straws to an untrained eye. ❝i don’t have banana and cantaloupe like you said but the strawberry ones probably taste just as good.❞

❝  and  here  i  was  thinking  your  fear  of  losing  had  you  flaking  on  me.  ❞    she  skips  the  pleasantries  entirely,  almost  as  though  they  slip  her  mind  ❝  did  you  get  lost  or  something  ?  and  did  you  bring  the  goods  ?  ❞  she  steps  aside  to  let  him  in,  her  tone  light  as  if  every  word  was  an  inside  joke  of  some  sort  or  the  other. ─ ✶⋆.˚  

for perhaps the first time in his life, noah was early to something. the anticipation of yet another one of their competitions quickly propelled him out of bed, through a cloud of axe body spray, and into his car in record time. so quickly, in fact, that he found himself standing in front of her door a full ten minutes earlier than he said he would be. he debated announcing his early arrival, maybe even ding-dong-ditching her house to pass the time, but instead he opted to stand there in thought, his hands tucked in his pockets. his foot began to tap against the cement as his attention shifted from the front door to his car parked across the street. it felt weird being back here, knowing that the last time he stood in this spot, he had made things...complicated. noah shook his head, trying in vain to dispel the memory. that was the past, and this was now. that was why he and astrid created rules in the first place. so they could enjoy each other's company without all the stress of whatever unintentional tension they couldn't seem to shake. he glanced down at his watch. finally, 8pm on the dot. raising his free hand, he rung the doorbell. “open up! FBI – we have a mugshot that’s missing your signature.” noah didn’t have to wait long before the door swung open and he was greeted by astrid. her quip softened his expression and prompted him to roll his eyes. “sounds like wishful thinking to me. bet you were hoping i wouldn’t show up,” noah remarked, stepping past her. he held up the bag, shaking its contents before pulling out the game. “candyland? check,” he announced, pulling the board game from its plastic sleeve. “boyish charm? also check." as he made his way towards the table to dump his belongings, noah couldn't help but notice the array of snacks and drinks that had been laid out. "dude, look at all this! are there more people coming or something?"

“long version,” abril answered, settling into the seat across from leon. she took out her phone and did the same, scanning the QR code to peruse the menu of drinks. as she considered the beers on tap, leon’s words drew her attention away from her phone. she rolled her eyes, a vain attempt at suppressing a smile. “gross. you know i was wondering why it had been so quiet lately.” it was no secret that even platonic affection didn't come as naturally to abril as it did others. she often relied on her friends' ability to read between the lines. especially given leon's situation, where his absence didn’t go unnoticed. after a brief pause, she added, "i guess i missed you too." the server came by to take their orders, and abril quickly recited hers before turning her attention back to her companion. “well, go on. this better be good,” she instructed, folding her arms and sinking further into the booth's cushion.

               "   where   are   you   going   ?   come   sit   down   !   we   don't   want   to   miss   the   next   showing.   "   luna   had   already   made   abril   sit   through   javi's   movie   (   baja   cero,   fantastic   name   in   luna's   opinion   )   three   times,   but   they   felt   a   fourth   was   just   as   necessary.   each   showing   luna   focused   on   something   different,   found   new   things   to   praise   their   brother   for,   but   always   the   biggest   emotion   they   felt   at   the   end   of   it   was   pride.   of   course,   she   wanted   to   share   that   with   one   of   her   best   friends.   "   now   that   you   get   the   story   completely,   you   can   pick   up   on   all   the   foreshadowing   and   hints   he   left   leading   up   !   please   ?   just   one   more   time   and   then   we   can   go,   promise.   "

"luna, i love you, you know that," abril began, a phrase she seldom uttered without bad news following. in this case, she would be admitting to her friend that she couldn't possibly bear to sit down for yet another showing of javi's movie. it was impossible for her to keep focus on anything really, ever. and with luna sitting right beside her, it wasn't like abril could rest her eyes in between scenes or take a break to check her phone. "and i loved javi's movie. the first three times. but a fourth feels like overkill and i genuinely do not have the attention span to do it again. can't we just do something else?"

noah's occupation was far different from rohan's; everyone knew exactly what noah did, and probably more than they'd like. after several long-winded explanations about why a journey to the open ocean with just the two of them would be fun and not dangerous or annoying, noah had finally convinced rohan to accompany him for a few days on the water to film a vlog. he was elated. in preparation, he packed several cameras, ring lights, and some snacks before boarding the boat that morning. with his vlog camera glued to his hand, much of noah's afternoon was focused on fine-tuning his introduction and capturing cool shots of the water with his drone. though he had promised rohan he would keep his feature on his channel to a minimum, noah's memory wasn't all that reliable. after a few minutes of chatting to his nonexistent audience, he panned his camera over to rohan, who had clearly stopped paying attention. "hey guys! look, it's our captain. everyone say hi to rohan!" noah cheered, only to be met with silence. "rohan!" noah called again. he emitted a heavy sigh, powered down his camera, then plucked a kernel from the bowl beside him and launched it towards rohan's head. as rohan turned back towards him, noah followed suit, glancing over his shoulder as if to join the search for the culprit. "woahhh who did that? a seagull maybe?" he asked, sporting a guilty grin. he braced himself for rohan's throw by shielding his face, only to watch the kernel fall into the water. stifling his laughter, he then made a mental note to take rohan hooping. "what? just making sure you're still alive. what are you doing anyways?"

it's  obvious,  because  rohan  doesn't  like  taking  people  this  far  out  on  the  boat,  since  the  idea  of  putting  them  at  risk  like  this  makes  him  uncomfortable,  but  for how much they've been out here together he's  coming  to  trust  noah  knows  what  he's  doing  (  just  not  enough  to  drive  the  damn  thing, sorry skipper  )  and  that's  made  it  a  little  bit  easier.  besides,  even  though  he's  complaining,  rohan  kind  of  likes  having  the  company.  it  might  just  be  noah  yapping  into  a  camera,  but  there's  something  comforting  about  hearing  another  person's voice  all  the  way  out  here, instead of just silence, or waves, or boat horns in the distance.  he  huffs,  setting  his  guitar  to  the  side  and  standing  up.  rohan  stretches  his  arms  out  over  his  head  (  he  forgets  how  long  they've  been  just  sitting  there  ),  and  then  shrugs.  "  thinking.  "  he  says  vaguely──  not  entirely  untrue,  but  not  an  answer,  "  something  you're  not  really  familiar  with, so i won't bore you with the details.  "  another  pause,  before  he  asks,  "  you  know  how  to  swim,  right  ?  " 

"i'm going to pretend like that was the scurvy talking," noah answered, disregarding the content of rohan's reply as he settled into the seat next to him. rohan's moods never really bothered noah, partly because he couldn't really tell when rohan was being moody. even if he did catch wind of it, he never assumed it was in response to anything he did. it was just his personality. more often than not, noah actually found comfort in the presence of someone who always seemed to know what they were doing. someone who had the answers no matter how dumb the question seemed. someone who was reliable and grounded. sometimes, noah needed that. noah mirrored rohan's stretch, releasing a yawn in the process. he then rested his arms behind his head so that they cradled the nape of his neck. though relaxed, he couldn't help but furrow his brow at rohan's question. "of course i do, don't i look like it?" noah paused. "nevermind don't answer that. you're not preparing to throw me overboard or something right? because the popcorn thing was so fundamentally unserious. i was just in a silly mood."

noah's excitement only grew as he neared the entrance to the building, the bass now synchronized with the quickened pace of his heartbeat. sporting his glow stick crown and a grin, noah imagined the reaction from the crowd dozens of times in his mind. it had been years since he debuted a proper diss track, and never once had he done it in front of a live audience. for him, this stunt was more than just a hobby or a means of racking up views. this would be somewhat cathartic for him. his diss tracks were a way to convey his feelings when words failed him which, truthfully, was more often than not. the security guards at the door gave him nods of recognition, their silent approval adding to his excitement. nothing could possibly ruin his night. that was until he heard a familiar voice cut through the noise, freezing him in his tracks. felix. kang. he slowly turned to face the man, his confidence wavering at the sight of felix. he glanced between him and the entrance, wondering if it was best to pretend he didn't hear anything and just make his way inside. but against his better judgment, he remained still. noah tipped his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose, reluctantly meeting the man's gaze. "felix, whoever banned you from the club during my set probably thought you deserved it and needed to protect their peace," noah answered as calmly as he could. in reality, felix pissed him off. their history was nothing short of complicated, and noah hated complicated. "plus, i'm debuting my diss track tonight and i can't have any bad vibes ruining the experience for the fontainiacs. they don't deserve that."

               "   scale   of   one   to   ten,   how   cold   do   you   think   i'll   be   in   this   tonight   ?   "   luvena   held   up   a   bikini   top   that   she'd   adorned   with   a   variety   of   craft   jewels   and   beads   and   nothing   else.   for   someone   who   was   known   not   to   take   anything   seriously,   rave   culture   and   its   customs   is   where   she   could   get   her   phd.   after   a   few   seconds   too   long   of   silence   she   sighed   and   rummaged   through   to   pull   out   a   white   fishnet   shrug.   "   i   guess   i   could   pair   it   with   this   ?   with   some   white   fishnets   so   it   matches   and   some   jean   shorts   ?   but   i   really   wanted   the   bikini   bottoms   and   the   snow   boots...⸻   it'll   be   hot   on   the   dance   floor   right   ?   "

nevaeh's stream of consciousness sputtered behind him, going in one ear and out the other as noah sat in front of the mirror, meticulously peeling off the sticky backing of the gems and gently placing them along the arch of his eyebrow. "nevaeh, respectfully, if these turn out ugly, it's your fault," he said, pressing the last jewel into his temple. he finally breathed a sigh of relief, able to give his friend his full attention as he spun around. a hum formed at the back of his throat as noah inspected both items of clothing in his hand. "nah, it shouldn't be too bad. i say bikini bottoms and the snow boots," he concluded with a firm nod. "but if you post any pictures, please do not tag me in anything." he turned back to his own assortment of clothes, lying in a pile on the bedroom floor and began to rummage through some of his options. "do you think i should do the black mesh tank top with the neon shorts or should i give the people what they want and just not wear a shirt?"

abril had a difficult time waking up before noon on her days off to join plans, yet somehow, she had an even more difficult time saying no to leia. after all, it wasn't an entirely bad idea to spend some time browsing local art and chatting with the vendors. as she strolls alongside leia, her fingers brush along the shirts as they pass racks of clothing. she wrinkles her nose, tilting her head slightly to process her friend's suggestion. "what is this for again? do you have a date or something?" abril mostly listened to leia when she talked about her games, but they were hard to follow. she was almost certain this was the one about robots who lived inside of a chuck e. cheese, but the bit about the bear had thrown her for a loop.

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ well , yes ! a date with freddy fazbear . . . wait , no , a date as freddy fazbear ? a date to freddy's pizzeria as freddy fazbear — i need to get an all - brown outfit for a challenge on my stream . ❞ she explains , having given up on whatever joke she was trying to cook up . ❝ and i need sunglasses just to have . i miiight have sat on my old pair , so . . . ❞ her voice trails off for a moment . ❝ i was wondering if getting brown sunglasses would be a funny addition to the brown outfit , or if it would just be a waste for a joke . ❞ she shrugs her shoulders before turning her head , having caught a vendor selling sunglasses just across from them now . ❝ the gamer gods have answered my prayers ! ❞ she motions abril to follow , linking their arms as they cross the road to the vendor's set - up . ❝ which ones should i get ? ❞

abril responded with a slow nod of her head. with most of what leia lost on her, she instead chose to pretend to understand the goal of her search. "so you are going on a date," abril confirmed with a coy smile. "who's cosplaying as the other bear? are they hot? and do they know how to fight?" any attempt at subtlety was lost on abril; when she got nosy, her questions had a tendency to come off as pushy. it took a bit of restraint to avoid listing off names of mutual friends. "you know, your horoscope said this morning that someone was thinking about you. and to 'indulge a keen awareness of your surroundings'. if you are going on a date i feel like i should vet their online presence and make sure they're not a freak-". abril allowed leia to take her by the arm and guide her toward the sunglasses. as far as she was concerned, the actual shopping portion of their day had merely become a side quest. she didn’t look them over long before plucking the pair closest to her off the rack and handing them to leia. "i dunno, maybe these? they're brown like you wanted."