light me up.

( katie douglas | non-binary | she/they ) — was that NARCISSA BLACK passing through diagon alley? yes, i think so… people around them say they remind them of a creature needing to be tamed, the aftershocks after a storm, the feeling of never being enough, making a scene because you can, holding your sisters tight because they make you feel safe, which i suppose seems to fit that SLYTHERIN. they’re actually pretty OUTSPOKEN, PASSIONATE, and RECKLESS for a TWENTY-TWO year old, but i wonder if it serves them well when working as a DRAGONOLOGIST & RESEARCHER. have you heard that rumor has it that PUREBLOOD is an ASSOCIATE for the DEATH EATERS now ? i wouldn’t have guessed… but this is a conversation we should be having somewhere else.

“It’s never too early for wine. Some types of wine, yes. But never wine in general.” She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t drunk herself to sleep every night since she found out. Thank Merlin she always kept several bottles of hangover potion around. She wasn’t sure she would have made it the last few days without it. Georgie grabbed the bottle of wine before joining Narcissa on the couch. Might as well tell them now. “A lot has happened.” She took a few big sips of her wine and refilled her glass before speaking again. “My father signed a betrothal for me. Barty Crouch Junior.” Another sip. Another typical flux of emotions. 

“Father didn’t even tell me he was doing it. I only found out because Barty told me. His mother wrote me a letter welcoming me to the family. And he showed up on the painting.” She motioned over to the family tree painting of her mother’s. “I got a letter from Father telling me if I didn’t do this I’d regret it. My brother has looked at it and isn’t sure I can get out of it. He’s not that bad though. Barty, I mean. He said he doesn’t want to control me which is already a win in my book.” She looked over at Cissa. “So I’ve just been trying to process that for the last few days.”

narcissa had lived a life of only ever depending on herself, she had a few relationships in hogwarts but they had never turned into anything, mostly of her fear of their loyalty. she never knew if they wanted them because of narcissa or because of their name. so she never tried pursue anything unless it was... lucius. but that had been something that she had let go a long time ago. now she was dedicated to family, friends, and dragons, and was content with it. she had known that their families would inevitably butt in when it came to things with marriage. her face fell when she heard betrothed, looking down at her wind glass before looking up at georgie. “i’m sorry,” she says at first, she couldn’t think of something worse, perhaps it was their privilege of being purebloods but she knew this would happen later, eventually. while narcissa hadn’t been much of a candidate when it came to betrotheds, that didn’t mean she was blind to others. 

“do you want me to kill them?” she asks first, totally serious as she takes a drink of her wine, before eventually saying, “are you alright?” maybe it was the perks of being the youngest, or maybe she wasn’t lovable enough to be betrothed to as being the one that went out for the ambition her parents never hoped for, but it wasn’t about her, it was just hard to think about the ties her parents had and what they could do. she shook them off, thinking of only georgie. “because i will if you want, i have an in law that would do it for my sake.” her face is serious, but her voice is joking that meant in a way that if georgie truly wanted- she’d make it happen, 

It had been too long since she had seen Narcissa. Well…not really that long. But her whole world had changed since then. The betrothal had thrown her more than she cared to admit. It helped tremendously that Barty wasn’t awful. He was quite nice considering their circumstances. He could have been terrible and she wouldn’t have blamed him. Their shared hatred of their fathers seemed to bond them more than she wanted to admit. She had spoken to her brother and Rafael but that wasn’t the same as Cissa. 

The elves were cooking dinner when she heard the floo activate. She grabbed her wine glass before moving to the living room. Her hip rested on the doorframe as she spoke. “Welcome home!” She hadn’t realized how happy this would make her until this moment. “How was your trip?”

@cissablvcks​

ever since sirius had gotten out it had been go-go-go for cissa, which had been incredibly annoying for someone that just wanted to spend some quality time with their family but that was proving not to be the case. she had promised georgie that she would be back and that they could have some one on one time before she had to leave again. it was a lot more travelling that she had planned which was why she had boughten her own flat near one of the sanctuaries in hungary just because the constant travelling wasn’t doing her any good. 

It took even Sirius by surprise just how fast his hues welled up at the mere sight of his cousin. Although he never voiced it, Sirius’s heart was forever broken to know that his parents were never really worthy of the word.  Blood had always meant something to him, as much as the guys were his brothers, they didn’t share the sort of connection Sirius still had for his cousins, it was like an invisible tether always pulling him back to them. 

The short pause between their eyes meeting and being held in Cissa’s embrace felt like hours to him. Sirius was definitely not the sort of guy who cried easily, but he was not able to suppress it.  It almost felt like he had been holding it in for weeks.  “I’m so sorry.”  He said in a soft whisper.  Taking advantage of his face being momentarily hidden due to his cousins tight hug, he allowed tears to roll down his cheeks, completely letting go in that moment. Burying his head into their shoulder, he exhaled.  “…Cissa I’m sorry.”  Pulling away so he could raise his hand, using the worn cuff of his hoodie to wipe his face.  “I didn’t mean ….”   He shook his head, struggling to grasp the words.  “..it wasn’t meant to be this long.” 

family was everything to narcissa. she would go to the ends of the earth for her family. she had always been told that family and loyalty often went hand in hand. there had been certain instances back in school when someone had said something about one of her family members that was unkind, and while narcissa was never the most intimidating family member out of the long list of ones that she could name, she always got her revenge, and they would never know it until it hit them in the face. she’d do just about anything for family and that included her cousins that she had loved so much. sirius and narcissa weren’t that far off in age, their birthday months close to each other too, and while she loved regulus with everything in her, she had understood that sirius was the child that didn’t get nearly enough love from his parents, something that she’d never voice out loud, especially in front of her aunt and uncle, but it was still there, the thought of knowing that sirius had deserved more, and that was why she had always tried to show him more growing up, going out of their way to make sure they got a good birthday gift, sitting by him even when she shouldn’t have in school while feeling totally out of place doing it but never caring that much for it. if they were the noble house of black, and blood was blood, then it didn’t matter. 

“Not sure what happened,” she said, starting to take off some of her outerwear. One could never be too careful around dragons, even ones that knew her. “I wouldn’t have seen it if some of the little ones hadn’t been around it. I think they were just as confused as we were.” She smiled when Cissa kissed her cheek. “You know I adore you, darling, but this is nowhere near your birthday present.” She winked before settling down in the chair near the table. “Mark seemed surprised I wanted to take it. I know we like the people we work with but I don’t trust them the way I trust you. I know you have a fondness for the babies and well….I didn’t want to give this to anyone else. Not just because I love you but because I know this dragon will survive with you looking after it.” Georgie knew her reputation with some of their fellow dragonologists. Just because she wasn’t out in the mud all the time didn’t mean her heart wasn’t in it just as much as the others. “Plus I wanted you to be the one to have it. I found it and I can give it to who I want. If they get upset about it, they should have kept a better eye out.” 

narcissa knew that it was a culmination of a lot of things that called her to work with these creatures, she knew that it was some deeply rooted things of not feeling like you were understood that had to do with it, she knew that it must have disappointed her parents knowing that their child wasn’t following the line of stellar careers that their siblings were—they also knew that they were lucky that despite all of that their parents loved them. but sometimes cissa wished that she could make them proud in the same way, they still stick to the hope that one day they might. everyone was preoccupied anyway with their sister and brother in laws birthday coming up, never mind the fact that most of her family was trying to skirt around the fact that two of their members were missing. narcissa was finding it hard to not not think about it. family had meant everything to her, and the fact that they weren’t here but should be was too much to bear alone. she was thankful for georgie, knowing damn well that while she meant what she said it was because she knew that narcissa needed a win. 

Sirius had been slowly losing his mind as he spent countless hours within the same four walls, and the company he did have wasn’t exactly pleasant.  The past couple of months had only served to remind him exactly why he had ran away all those years ago, because he once again felt like a frightened little boy. He wasn’t supposed to go wandering about in general, though especially not at night and he had kept to that rule…. well mostly.   He just couldn’t take it anymore, and what was meant to only be a quick walk to have a cigarette or two, turned into a far longer walk.  

It was only when street lamps became clear in his peripheral that he came out of the almost trance state he seemed to have entered into. He wasn’t even entirely sure where his feet had led him until he looked up. Dropping the near burnt out smoke in his hand, he realised that he had ended up close to where his cousin lived.  Did he mean to walk specifically here, or was it just a coincidence?  he wasn’t sure. But his eyes were drawn to the only window in the deserted street that had a yellow tinge spilling out to the street and he could make out the silhouette of someone standing in the glow.  Sirius knew immediately that it was his cousin and he stood for a moment, not knowing if he ought to make himself known or leave.  As he was debating he could hear the distinct sound of a match being struck, his eyes focus more and as the match lights up against her face,  he is able to make out the features of Narcissa.  He wasn’t able to bring himself to leave, he only waited for their eyes to meet.

narcissa wasn’t having the best time, they had been worried sick for their cousins, wondering if there would be any information of where they were while knowing that they couldn’t search out for them even if they had wanted to. family was everything, it didn’t matter if their other family members wanted them to be there, once narcissa loved you that was the end of it all for them. she had been on her balcony smoking a cigarette trying to will themselves to go back to sleep while knowing that they couldn’t with their mind racing. it had been pretty quiet night all things considered, georgie had brought a tiny dragon egg for them to care for until it could be brought back to a sanctuary and she had been grateful for the distraction but it wasn’t enough given how their mind was swirling of possibilities of where their cousins currently were. 

@cissablvcks​

“Before you say anything,” she said as she put the blanket down on the table. It was clearly wrapped around something. A something she had told Cissa time and time again not to bring home. “I found it with Mark when we were looking at the Greens today. It’s clearly not one of their eggs and I don’t trust anyone else with it.” She unwrapped the egg carefully, casting another warming charm over it. “So I wanted to take it to the best person I know who could help. We can’t keep it here but if it needs to stay here for a bit, that’s fine.” 

She was older than the person standing with her, but Sunshine new the Black family well enough to know who they were and this was Narcissa Black. In the back of her mind, she was curious if the youngest Black knew who she was. So many people did. Did the Blacks? 

“Hello, Narcissa. You shouldn’t have stood there so quiet. I don’t normally bite.” That was a lie. Sunshine bit every chance she had, whether that was literally or with her sharp tongue. Going to look at Narcissa’s bag from the clothing store, Sunshine cocked her head and eyed the tall brunette. “Have you ever thought about modeling?” It took a whole hell of a lot for Sunshine to make the suggestion to anyone. “You have a great look. You’re tall, have a great complexion, freckles are all the rage and you have that innocent thing going on. You could really find your niche.” Sunshine was being genuine. When she was genuine, it’s like the stars aligned. “I would be more than happy to help you get into the business. My look is more seductive but it takes all kinds.” She raised her eyebrows and ran a quick thumb on Narcissa’s cheek.“ Sunshine began walking toward Honeydukes. “Let’s talk about it over sweets.”

In  the  moments  after,  Charity  realized  how  out  of  it  the  other  shopper  looked.  “Long  day?”  Her  words  were  almost  amused,  if  not  uncharacteristically  awkward.  However,  now  most  of  her  social  interaction  was  with  children.  Somehow,  that  was  the  strangest  part  of  the  job.  Surely,  engaging  critically  was  one  thing,  but  seeing  them  sit  there  with  expecting  eyes  on  her  was  not  her  spotlight.  Charity  loved  to  observe  and  now  only  so  much  of  her  time  could  ever  be  dedicated  to  doing  so.  “I’m  sorry,”  She  grinned,  taking  the  silvery  roll  of  parchment  to  let  her  imagination  play  with  later.  “I  think  I’ve  forgotten  social  cues.”  A  rarity  for  the  young  woman  who  travelled  alone  for  nearly  two  and  a  half  years.  But  needless  to  say  the  vague  familiarity  of  the  other  may  have  spawned  the  reaction  in  her.  “But  I  do  hope  you’re  all  right.”  She  added,  turning  back  to  see  if  perhaps  the  clerk  was  ready  to  answer  her  question  now.

     ❝   —   and   i   still   won’t.   ❞   she   grinned   knowing   narcissa   was   too   asleep   to   be   woken   up   by   any   noise   andromeda   would’ve   made   in   her   own   sleep.   even   when   she   rattled   around   in   the   kitchen   and   broke   a   ceramic   tea   cup,   andie   was   sure   to   have   woken   them   up.   ❝   maybe   one   day   the   person   i   marry   will   tell   me,   unless   you   actually   show   signs   of   consciousness   while   you   sleep   tonight.   ❞   she   ruffled   cissa’s   hair   into   their   face   before   taking   another   sip   of   her   own   tea   —   a   milky   concoction   of   earl   grey   and   two   sugar   cubes.   ❝   i   didn’t   do   much,   really.   haven’t   got   many   friends,   you   know.   ❞   the   words   weren’t   spoken   to   be   pitied,   andromeda   smiled   as   she   said   them.   always   the   introvert,   she   enjoyed   her   alone   time   —   plus   she   wasn’t   interested   in   giving   people   more   reasons   to   have   her   family   name   in   their   mouths.   ❝   read   a   bit,   broke   my   favorite   tea   cup,   unfortunately.   missed   you,   most   of   all.   what’re   your   plans   today   ?   we   should   reach   out   to   bella   soon.   ❞

location: hogsmeade. open to everyone.

There was hardly a thing that could keep Sunshine indoors. The feeling of walls closing in on her was too much. She needed open air and space to walk — er, strut. The tiny slice of London was nothing compared to her traveling life but at least it was familiar. She both loved and hated the familiarity. Fond memories of fellow classmates causing mayhem for the sheer joy of being a teenager causing mayhem. But Heaven — her death permeated everything. Hogsmeade had lost its luster after her mother died. Sunshine didn’t feel like she was allowed to be a child after that day but, like every contradiction that followed her, Sunshine had the potential to be more childish at twenty-eight than fifteen.

It’s not like she had just gotten back to London. Memories (good and bad) were simply clearer on certain days. It was easier for her to pose in front of a camera and take on a persona the company she modeled for requested. And, Merlin, she was good. She was great — no, brilliant. She got to be herself by not being herself. Another contradiction. Unfortunately there weren’t many modeling gigs in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley but perhaps it was for the best. It gave her an excuse to leave the area whenever she damn well pleased with an excuse that couldn’t be argued. She also wasn’t wanting for money — modeling had set her up nicely — but she would always question why stop what you’re doing if you love it? And she loved modeling.

So there she was, thinking and standing by two storefronts. Childhood and adulthood: “What do you think? Honeydukes for a big, swirly lollipop or judging Gladrags Wizardware?” she casually asked the person who had been silently standing near her a little too long.