circoins

(unedited)

“No, it isn’t,” Kurapika cut in, acidly. He hated asking about this because he knew Leorio would just laugh it off again. “Classes are over. You aren’t required to be here anymore, but you are. Why?” “Killua went crying on his knees and begged me,” Leorio mockingly drawled, smiling like an asshole. He snorted at Kurapika’s hollow face, then humorlessly scoffed. “What do you think? I’m here because I wanted to help.” “But you don’t even like helping people.” “Says who?” “You did. You said you only volunteer at the infirmary because it would look good on your college application.” “Yeah. But I never said I hated it there. Did I?” “No. It was the way you said it,” Kurapika said, feeling stupid for saying those cliche words, but more words spilled out of him before he could think of stopping himself. “You said it like some self-serving asshole. Like you couldn’t care less about what you do or the people you’re supposed to care for. You act like volunteering is the most painful thing in the world and doing it bothers you.”  Leorio’s lips were set in a hard line. “I do need it for my CV,” he slowly said, voice cautious like talking to a frightened animal. “But that doesn't mean I hate it there. Or that I don’t care about what I do. Cause then I wouldn’t be here at all.” Kurapika’s eyes dropped to the ground at those words. “But that’s not what you actually want to hear.” He sharply looked up. “What?” “You heard me,” Leorio retorted, slowly stalking towards Kurapika as if wanting to corner him in every possible sense. “You don’t want to know why I’m doing this. You want to know why I’m doing this for you.”  Kurapika froze, heart stopping like it had been knocked off its axis, but he couldn’t do anything to fix it because Leorio was more than happy to knock it off all over again. “This isn’t about me at all, isn’t it? This is all about you,” Leorio accusingly said, staring him down with dark, unkind eyes. “You think I’m bothered by you specifically. Well, guess what?” He gave a humorless laugh. “I have to deal with annoying little shits like you all the damn time and you–” A finger pointed at Kurapika, making him cower. “are nothing special.”  Heart stuck in his throat, Kurapika gaped like dumb fish. “I’m not?” was the dumb fish’s only response. “You wish,” Leorio said with a scoff. “Do you think you’re the only one who comes to the infirmary looking like this?”  The question was obviously meant to be rhetoric, but feeling too strung to stop himself, Kurapika frowningly answered it anyway, “I’m not so ignorant.”  “Good!” Leorio mockingly beamed at him, then his face twisted downward, taking a serious edge once more. “Cause you aren’t the worst there is. So don’t get your panties in a twist cause I’m not bothered by you specifically.” The words slowly but surely sank in like heavy rocks. Kurapika sucked in a harsh breath, heart skipping a beat when he was struck by the implications behind them. “I hope that answers your question.”  Eyes firmly set on the ground, Kurapika dully nodded, feeling light-hearted yet hollow chested at the same time. His voice was hoarse, “It does. Thank you.”  “Good.” Leorio looked incredibly proud of himself like he had accomplished the impossible– maybe he did. He ran a hand through his hair, then peered down at Kurapika with a lazy, self-satisfied smile stirring on his lips. “So, will ya get on my back now?” Kurapika sighed but he obliged without a fight.

This actually was the OG scene, and yup, the confrontation wasn't supposed to be crazy serious at all. Honestly, I'm actually kind of sad that this version didn't make it into the fic because it's fun BUT for many, many reasons, it just didn't feel right.

I'm confident I made the right decision choosing the other scene, but I still wanted to share this version with you (:

2. Extended Fighting Scene

The fighting scene was supposed to be a little bit longer, but I decided to shorten it for word count reasons.

cw: sexist, transphobic language

(unedited)

Hissing, Omokage drew his arm back with incredible force, sending Kurapika flying on his back onto the cold, wet ground. Limbs splayed ham-handedly like a dropped doll, Kurapika’s chest heaved from the suddenness of the recent blow. He coughed blood onto the withered grass, painting grey-ish brown with red. His head spun when all the recent exertion slowly caught up to his body, pain registering slowly. The wide-spread ache of his back, the flashing heat on his cheekbone. A split mouth. The loud ringing in his ears.  Kurapika glared up at his assailant in accusation.  A callous edge washed over Omokage’s pale visage, regarding Kurapika with the heartless detachment of a mechanic looking at a failing machine. “I prefer you like this. Lying uselessly on your back like the worthless bitch you were meant to be.”  “You odious waste of–” Kurapika gasped in agony at the sudden, sharp throb at his sides, curling himself into a pitiful ball. Crouching near his face, Omokage’s voice was uncannily soft, almost chiding, “Look at what you make me do.” Kurapika snarled when an icy hand stroked across his face, almost lovingly before it yanked the back of his head in a cruel grip. “If only you had listened–” Kurapika promptly spat in his face.  Omokage recoiled back, fluttering his lashes in irritated confusion as if he couldn’t believe how Kurapika dared to do such a vile thing to him. Regaining his composure, Omokage’s face pulled into an ugly sneer, eyes burning with hatred. Kurapika sucked in a harsh breath. He stabilized himself on an arm, preparing himself to block another round of assault. But nothing came. Instead, Omokage violently flinched away from him, taking two steps back on unsteady feet. He desperately grasped at his collar with flailing hands, trying to pull it down. With a vicious growl, he planted a steady foot to the ground and took a powerful step forward with the other one– only to immediately stagger back another two steps. 

I was also kind of worried that Kurapika was fighting like a girl (lowk he was), but looking back, this honestly could've been kept...

3. Metaphors, Similes and More Metaphors and Similes

I genuinely reached flow state when I was drafting the fight scene, and at some point, kinda unconciously went ham using metaphors and similes. I ended up cutting out a lot of them because they were quite .. excessive. Also who am I? Shakespeare?

Anyways here are some of my favourites that were cut:

i.

Omokage’s archaic figure resembled that of a menacing vampire. His unreadable visage looked down at Kurapika with his hands behind his back like some mighty general appraising a new soldier.

ii.

A callous edge washed over Omokage’s pale visage, regarding Kurapika with the heartless detachment of a mechanic looking at a failing machine.

iii.

Instead, Omokage violently flinched away from him, taking two steps back on unsteady feet. He desperately grasped at his collar with flailing hands, trying to pull it down. With a vicious growl, he planted a steady foot to the ground and took a powerful step forward with the other one– only to immediately stagger back another two steps.  It was futile. Like a puppet wanting to disobey the puppeteer. 

HxH movie reference, but unfortunately, it's just very out of place in the actual scene.

4. Random

I googled how to describe pain and got suggestions for suicide prevention hotlines LOL

After I wrote the first two introduction scenes with Killua, Gon and Omokage, I procastinated the fighting scene so hard that an entire month passed between writing them. During that time, my writing style changed so much that I had to edit the introduction scenes to literal oblivion for them to blend in with the fighting scene's writing ... writing is a prison.

Writing the fighting scene didn't actually end up being that bad, and it was actually quite fun! ... the real villain all along was the confrontation scene, which took me about three weekends and two all-nighters... but all in all, I'm very happy with how this chapter came out !

_____

Anyway, I haven't been writing since publishing the chapter because it took a lot of time and power out of me. I'm planning to get back on it this weekend, however.

Since the OG Chapter 3 was split, the major scenes for Chapter 4 are already written and only need to be edited. However, I wanted to do some light drafting for Chapter 5 before seriously working on Chapter 4.