꒰ dollie .ᐟֹ₊꒱

The look is enough to send a strike of electrity down to his very core. Sadly for him (or luckily if he's being honest) he's a weak man. For you and those sweet words that rolled off your tongue with ease. So all he can really do is sigh in defeat. Surrendering himself to you.

Follo doesn't get himself hurt often.

over the course of his year working with the cleaners he's learned the most important thing is to observe. Observe the behaviors of people, observe the behaviors and habits of trash beasts. That and the fact he's been on the back burner for most of those 12 months.

However, since follo had awakened, he's found himself in eisha's care more and more. And who better to dote on him than his amazing partner?

So there he was, sat on one of the mattresses in the infirmary, robe thrown somewhere on the floor, leaving his bare back exposed for your loving assault.

Your hands ran back and forth on the landscape he called a body. Starting at the pulse in his neck, running your thumb along one of the few scabs that still remained while your other hand held his chin in a firm grip, guiding it to the side for more access. You press your mouth to the area. the warmth of your lips eliciting a sharp breath inhale from the man.

"Jesus—" he cursed under his breath.

You pull away slightly, your brows knitting together with concern in those eyes of yours. "Still sensitive?"

Follo shakes his head, ignoring the ever tightening coil in his stomach. "n—no no...I'm good."

You stare at him for a moment. The flush that betrayed his silly attempt at composure, the soft furrow of his brows. You dip your head to the smooth valley of his shoulder, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

A giggle rises from Follo's throat. He turns slightly to get a glimpse at your head of hair.

"Y'know...I almost think you're enjoying this way more than I am." He wondered aloud, earning a chuckle out of you.

"Would that be so bad?" hell no. But before he could answer, your hands were already slipping down to his waist. caressing the soft muscles that bulged at his abdomen.

Follo swallows another whine as his stomach twists in delight.

"I'm just saying...you're real wicked." He finally answered breathlessly.

you made a small noise at that. Wordlessly one of your hands come back up from his lower half, redirecting your attention to a long raised scar that spanned from his upper ribcage to the curve of his hip.

Your index traces against it with gentle pressure. Another onset of butterflies rises from the pit of Follo's stomach. 'How many times have you patched him up now? How is he still this sensitive?' Follo catches himself wondering.

"how'd you get this one?" You muttered.

Follo cranes his neck to see where you were at this point. He pauses for a moment before answering. "I Think I got that one when I got blown off the cliff. Eisha said I got sliced by a rock."

You crooned lowly in acknowledgment. "Did it hurt?"

He shook his head. "not as much as everywhere else did."

you muttered something else that sounded like "that's good" but that was the last thing on his mind. The main focus being the feeling of your hand smoothing over the raised mark, the coil in his stomach that grew especially tight as your fingers grazed his v-line.

"you're so pretty you know that?" you whispered. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—

Follo couldn't help but start adjusting fidgeting beneath your grasp. It was too much. Too good. Too sweet.

A simple "y—yeah?" is all he could manage. And even that seemed hard to get out of him.

"Mhm...So pretty...so brave...you are really like a knight you know that?" You giggled sadistically.

Follo cracked at that. Both in voice and spirit. "k-knight? God you really say the weirdest things sometimes..." He forced out a chuckle, rubbing his neck out of habit.

This time you don't answer. Instead, you get up, making your way to his front and plop down on his lap and begin peppering kisses along his front. Your arms sling around his neck, holding him hostage in your koala like hold.

You watched for a moment. eyeing how his chest rose and fell. the beads of sweat that had cultivated at the crook of neck.

Follo's adam's apple bobbed, trying his hardest to swallow down the nerves that had ran wild under your scrutiny.

Your fingers trace nimbly down his chest for a moment. The dedication in your gaze almost as frightening as your silence.

"No, you just have confidence issues." you finally said, meeting his wide eyed stare. Slowly another painfully triumphant smile formed on your lips.

you reached up and gripped his jaw and draw him to your mouth. Follo's quick to melt into it, his hands find their home at your hips, pulling you into a full straddle.

The taste of your mouth is something lethal. undeniably sweet. downright addictive.

Follo grips you like you could evaporate that very second. His fists white knuckle your shirt, bunching the fabric up in his sweaty palms as he (very sloppily) mimics your ministrations. he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, savoring it before you inevitably pulled away. And when you did Follo let out the cutest little whine.

You hold his face in your palm, looking into his eyes which were as wide as saucers.

"I love you...you're so brave, and handsome. I mean I really, really mean it when I say you're my knight in shining armor." You press another kiss to his nose.

Yeah...you were gonna be the death of him. And damn if he didn't die happy.

You stood over him, arms crossed with your all face screwed up. riled up over an argument that neither of you could remember. However what was Even more frustrating was tamsy's stupid face as he sat there on the couch. His head cocked to the side, making his icy blonde strands falling over his bemused expression as you tried (and seemingly failed) to get a rise out of him.

"Don't be like that angel." Tamsy cooed. His voice disarmingly soft, landing on your ears like soft silk.

Your mouth thinned out and stretched into a frown. "Like what?"

"Melodramatic." Tamsy hummed, devoid concern. "You know how I feel-"

You sharply interrupted. "I don't know how you feel! ever! that's the problem!" the blonde's eyebrows to shot up at your voice, the anger that had risen from your depths and as a by product, the corner of his mouth twitched in mild amusement.

Your eyebrows furrowed in the way the always did whenever you got pissy with him, You turn on your heel, facing away from him. Your eyes quickly dart around the small, sterile room. zipping around for a few seconds before landing on your keys, discarded and forgotten about on the coffee table. You trot over and snatch them up so fast their metallic bodies echo off the walls. and just as quickly start towards the door.

You look over to tamsy, who is as ever composed and unbothered with your little game, just sitting there, eyeing you while sipping on a cup of earl grey.

"we're done! And if I ever come crawling back, put me down because I must not be right in the head!"

Yeah…after that scene you really do have to commit. Hard.

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Tamsy for the first two-three days is normal. Annoyingly so.

The morning after you catch him in the mess hall, slumped on a little wood stool, legs crossed. When you pass by he smiles and nods like everything's fine. Not the smallest hint of distress in his porcillen features. As if it would all blow over and you'd be all on him again. Even when you speed past him without a word his face doesn't falter!

The most you get out of him is soft sigh before he goes back to satisfying his stomach. Which, naturally, pisses you off more.

after those initial days though? His demeanor switches.

Not drastically. Maybe he'll stand a little closer to you than normal, Never touching you but getting close enough. Never standing next to you but always a few feet behind you. His eyes trained on the back of your skull when you weren't looking and when you spoke his eye's would linger on you a little longer than necessary.

And if you ever caught him (which you did, more than you'd like. It's stupid the way something so simple could make your stomach flip with delight) he'd soften his gaze into something kinder as a thin lipped smile stretched across the lower plane of his face.

Hell towards the latter half His usual morning nods and smiles would become verbal 'good morning's.

But when you still don't come around? that's when thing's get a little more intense. Or maybe strange is more accurate.

Tamsy goes from eyeing you ever so often to practically looming over your shoulder. Even if you can't visibly see him you can feel his natural dull stare locked onto you. Which somehow only gets creepier when you can see him.

'You just need a push' he tells himself. One little push and you'd be right back where you belonged.

When you're lagging behind in a crowd he takes the opportunity to slither behind you, Letting his slender finger tips guide to junction between the base of your neck and your shoulder and then pulling you back against his chest.

"Angel," he began, practiced sweetness dripping from his voice like honey into the shell of your ear. "You've been avoiding me. Why is that?"

You shiver at the rough, pointed edges of his words, The undercurrent of irration Tamsy was unable to hide.

Your lips purse together, ignoring the flutter in your chest.

"You know why." You hissed, tearing yourself away from him.

Tamsy blinked a few times as he tilted his head dumbly. "Hm? is that right?"

"yeah. And you're not sorry one bit are you?" You gritted out.

"Sorry? What do I have to be sorry about? you're the one who got all worked up over nothing." He hummed.

God did he know how to press every little button.

Your mouth twitched and tugged into a scowl. "Of course you would think that….Y'know I deserve better than this. I deserve someone who actually gives a shit."

"Really? and who would that be?"

"Clearly not you. You haven't done anything for me despite be a complete and utter asshole!"

Tamsy takes a few steps forward, rounding around till your face to face. "And just when I thought you couldn't get more embarrassing." he sighed.

"All you do is whine and complain about me, have you forgotten that I'm the one who saved you. Have you even considered where'd you be without me?"

Your eyes widened at his words. A sense of dread filling you the more he spoke.

"You're real lucky, considering everything." He continued. "If I was a much cruler man, I'd probably left you by now."

A sadistic smile crossed his features as you stood there stunned. "But…If you really think I'm that awful. Go ahead. Find someone else."

When he leaves you with those few words, your game is practically over. After a day, maybe two, you're right back in his doorway. Your eyes heavy and dark with irritation.

Tamsy's waiting for you on his bed. Brushing through his dual toned locks, in the mirror.

You stumble froward a couple feet before collapsing onto his lap. Your arms slide to his waist, pulling him in to your body heat and burying your face into his stomach.

Another snide remark rests at the tip of his tongue, eager to be let out and dig deeper into an open wound; but it comes to a halt at the sudden wetness on his skin. Your tears.

"I'm…I'm sorry." You choked out weakly, Your voice nearly a whimper.

Slowly, a hint of a smile took the place of Tamsy's harsh words.

"Sorry? Sorry for what angel?"

"sniff– I'm sorry for—"

Tamsy quickly interrupts you with the chastising click of your tongue. "ah— c'mon darling, a good angel knows how to repent properly. Look at me. You're a good angel aren't you?" he cooed mockingly.

His index and his thumb slipped to your chin, forcing your attention up to his eyes of pale gold.

His smile widened as he saw your bleary, wet eyes, staring up at him.

"I'm sorry for messing with you..I was just joking. Didn't mean 'nothing by it…." You muttered pathetically.

His hand reached up to the back of your head, scratching your scalp as you spoke.

"Mm…I suppose you're forgiven. But you understand now right? I didn't mean to get so blunt with you but it really is the truth, I mean look at you now."

Tamsy flipped the mirror in his hand, shoving it right in your face so you can admire your burning tear streaked face.

"Who else could deal with this? No one."

the mirror drops to the ground with a light thud. With Tamsy's now freed hands, he grabs you by the waist and tugs you onto his lap. Your back pressed flush against his chest, as his other hand tilts your head towards himself, leaving you stunned.

Tamsy leans in, and for the first time in what feels like forever, presses his lips to yours. It lingers for a bid. Letting his venom infect you, dragging you back into web.

Tamsy, per usual, is the first to pull away. Moving downwards to place a peck onto your throbbing pulse before finally resting on your shoulder.

"That's why I was so upset when you tried out your prank. If I didn't care then why would I put up with you?"

"I dunno…I was being stupid I guess." You murmured.

Tamsy chuckled. Carefully, he lifted his finger and jammed his index to your temple.

"uh-huh. Silly little angel. What would you do without me?"

his nails and mind are entirely preoccupied tracing small shapes into your smooth skin. his eyes were trained trained on your side profile. The points and slope of your nose. only tearing away whenever you shot him a warning glare.

he’s so comfortable right there he could just die.

your eye twitched at the sight of him. hand on his chin, cigarette dangling in between his lips as it oozed smoke.

you let out a soft sigh. “Enjin?”

“mh?” he hummed. his fingers didn’t stop in their voyage, not did his eyes pull away from your face.

“Enjin.” you repeated, your voice dropping ever so slightly.

A small grin played on his lips. His hand reached up, pulling the cigarette from between his lips.

your nose crinkled as the stream of smoke wafted over to you, overtaking your senses.

Enjin leaned in, lips just meters from your own.

You reached for the cigarette. plucking it from between his meaty fingertips and jamming it into the cheap wood.

Enjin flinched as if he was one with the desk. “what the hell—“

you grabbed the peace of paper beside you, shoving it in his face. “the problem.”

Enjin scoffed, snatching the paper from your hands. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked across the lazily written problems.

In an instant he started to pout. Looking up at you with those big golden puppy eyes.

“C’mon! I’ve worked so hard…” Enjin whined. His big arms wrapped around your waist in an instant, tugging you onto his lap.

You huffed. Your Fingers thread his golden locks, tearing his face from your chest and forcing his head to a dramatic loll.

“If you’re not gonna take this seriously then I don’t know why I’m even here.” You spat. The words carrying all the vitrol you could muster from the past few weeks, which granted, was not nearly as much as there should be.

Enjin snickered as he looked up at you, taking the upmost reverence in the scowl painted on your lips.

With an exasperated groan you make an attempt for distance. but as soon as the weight is relieved the blonde is quick to send a hand flying to your waist, dragging you back down like a ball and chain.

“Woah doll! No need to be so cruel! Seriously! I thought we had something special…” Enjin whined. His arms entrap you. circling around your waist while his nose nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“C’mon…don’t I deserve a reward…?”

“ And what have you done to deserve a reward?… What would that be anyway?”

Enjins lips pursed in mock consideration before turning to the side and tapping the side apple of his cheek with his index.“A kiss maybe?”

You shook your head and sighed. “Jesus is that *all* you think about?”

Enjin’s hands crept up your side. His finger tips making Slow, gentle presses into the warmth of your skin. “C’mon! I can be a good student…just need a little motivation from my favorite teacher, that’s all.”

You smacked your lips in displeasure. Your body began to tense as you got ready for another sly comment, like an animal threatened, you had another retort rested at the tip of your tongue.

but, nothing came.

Instead, He leaned in close, his mouth just meters from your own with the most shit eating grin on his face.

“C’mon…you know you like me.”

Bastard.

His breath was bitter, overpowering, ruined by the Tabbaco he’d been puffing but an undercurrent of sweetness peaked through it all. His breath infected and melted into your own like the sweetest of poisons.

You watched as his gaze fell to your lips. Felt the way his breath hitched as a thousand thoughts ran through his mind.

And when you saw that stupefied look on his face? It was over.

His lips quickly captured yours.

His hand slid back down to your thigh, pulling you into him like the oceans tide. And On instinct, your hand found its way to the base of Enjins neck. Your lips found their rhythm with terrifying ease.

Enjin’s heart rammed against the cage of his chest. His hands greedy in their journey and his lips even more so.

They were practically glued together, nearly inseparable. Not that he wanted to.

You broke the kiss first for air, Slowly you rosenfrom atop him, connected by the thinest string of saliva.

Enjin let out a soft, involuntary whine at your absence, but it’s quickly cut off as you looked down at him. His eyes blown wide open, gleaming in the light like citrine. Slowly a tiny, boyish grin played on his lips.

A vibrant buzz quickly began to fill your chest, Overflowing and spilling out into the rest of your body. It dripped out to your lower stomach; and once it reached there the feeling only intensified. Ruthlessly fluttering around your gut. disarming you in such a way that made it nearly impossible to hide your embarrassment.

Everything around you came back to your conscious in an instant. From the papers crumbled beneath your bodies to Enjin’s stupid nose nudging yours.

Blood began to rush through your veins fast, Swelling in your ears and cheeks faster than you could ever hide. All the while Enjins smile only grew, and that annoying buzz only intensified in your stomach.

You stumbled away awkwardly. Like a frightened animal desperate to put distance between the two of you. Enjins hand flew to your wrist, pulling you back.

“Hey! Woah woah Woah—“ enjin tumbled out, the words came out in breathless heaves and half chocked giggles. His eyes were blown wide from the euphoric high he was reeling from.

“C’mon I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Just—“ He trailed off as you stared at him. Your jaw slacked and the warmth in your cheeks. The subtle twitch of your swollen bottom lip.

“Oh…oh.” just as quickly as it left, Enjin’s dopey grin returned.

Your mouth formed a scowl at the sight. Then slowly, you rose a shakey finger.

“Don’t. It’s not— it’s not what you think.”

“Mhm.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Right.” Enjin hummed as his hand moved down to your waist, coaxing you forward onto his lap.

As enjin pulled you closer, your eyes began to advert from his face. That red undertone of blood beneath your skin only burned brighter with shame.

Your mouth flopped open and shut over and over again until a high pitched “ I don’t like you like that.” Emerged from your tensed throat.

Enjin tilted his head mockingly. “No?”

His fingers, annoyingly nimble began rubbing into your side.

“No. I don’t.” Your answered in a weak, cracked whisper.

His eyes crinkled as his grin turned wolfish. Your frown deepened.

“…don’t you tell a soul. You tell a soul and I will tell everyone—“

Enjins hands flew up. “Hey hey! Relax I’m not gonna tell anyone about your…accident.”

“I mean…it’s going to be really hard but, I won’t.”

Jesus. You let out a low groan of displeasure. And in classic enjin fashion he pulled you even closer. His biceps snaked around your waist, his head fitting comfortably on your shoulder; wild blonde hairs pricking at your skin.

“Y’know if it makes it any better… it was pretty good. Easy A+.”

You grimaced and shoved him to the floor. And even as he laid there on the ground, his face was full of unshaken triumph.

Like you said, Horrible tutee.

hey…hey….how yall doing/ref uhmmm yeah i don’t have excuse this time i’ve literally just been playing persona 3 and 4 this past month (finished p3, halfway through p4) so im a little out of practice and may be ooc BUTTTT ENJIN IS BACK SO YK I HAD TO WRITE SOMETHINGGG. my inbox is hella full tho so i need to clear that…so hopefully there’s more, fingers crossed tho.

“mhm.” you didn’t stop for a second. continuing in your descent with unrivaled levels of focus, going Lower and lower until you met where his adam’s apple bulged the most. This time lingering on it a little longer than usual.

A sharp, high pitched whined emerged from his throat, Small vibrations running their course throughout his body.

You pull back, eyes slightly widening as you fully asses the damage done. Follo’s Head lolled back, his face painted the prettiest of pinks in the shade of embarrassment.

A silence fell over the two of you. You flickered back and forth from his cornered expression to the blistering red mark. Follo shifted In his seat. nerves whirling wildly in his stomach.

“ Hey…don’t just look at me like that….say something.” He urged. the words come out half choked from the air you’d stolen from his lungs.

Slowly, your lips began to twitch. And from the uncontrollable twitching came devilish grin that made his heart race.

you slowly came closer, head playfully cocking to the side. “…what was that?”

Follo’s mouth fumbled for an explanation but nothing came to, And Any idea of a response vanished the moment you began to close the distance once more. A fire light up behind your pupils. An uncontrollable eagerness.

Your hands landed on either side of him, anchoring yourself to the bed as you leaned In, nearly nose to nose. Follo’s breath hitched at the proximity. Damn it. You could feel your heart pick up speed. You swore he got 10x prettier when he was like this, hair all messy, bangs falling over his eyes in clumps, looking completely stupefied. You bit down on your cheek for a moment, taking in the whole scene before—

“Can you do that again?” You blurted out in hush voice, The words spilling without a second thought.

follo’s eyebrows raised. “Wha…?”

Your grin widened, Small sadistic giggles escaping through your bared teeth. Jesus, you couldn’t even fake an ounce of shame. It’s a little tragic, really.

You press on. “well— I guess the question is can I do it again? I mean…. if you don’t mind of course?”

Follo’s body felt like it was on fire. Mind spinning, reeling from the assault you’d committed; Your words barely register in his pretty little head when he nods in agreement.

Within seconds your mouth was back on his pulse, Pressing long languid kisses into follo’s flushed skin. Reveling in the sweet huffs they coaxed.

You were hooked from that moment. But what really sold it was the morning after.

The dinning hall was empty, just you and follo and the sweet sizzle of batter on the stove. Follo’s head was tilted down, watching the pan carefully. The mark still was there. slightly less vibrant than you’d left it but there none the less. Everytime you looked at it the memory of warm skin would come back full force, Reigniting the excitement that lied dormant in your bones.

It was almost like it was taunting you. Egging you on. Begging you to just plant a few more pretty of those pretty pink splotches on his neck.

And hey! To your credit, you tried. Real hard. His forearms bulged as he gripped the pan, the scrunch of his face , the quiet focus in his service. you could only withstand so much!

You rose up, sneaking behind follo’s hunched over figure. your arms wrapped around his waist. Pulling him in close.

He flinched at the contact, nearly dropping the pan. Though he melted as he found your twinkling eye. Follo let out a relieved sigh. A soft smile forming on his face.

“Woah— hey…I’m gonna be done in a second okay?” He reassured, taking his hand off the pan and rubbing slow circles into the back of your hand.

You hum, dipping your head into the crook of his neck. Taking in the warmth of his body, your perfume and his morning scent mixed together deliciously. Slowly, you started peppering kisses again.

Follo let out another muffled, High pitched sound. He cranes his neck to fully see you, follo’s mouth thinned out to a sheepish smile. “Shit—! …Hey I thought that was a one time thing. Y’know, if I didn’t know any better I would think you’re enjoying my suffering…”

You tilted your head, letting out a soft hum against his neck, sending vibrations through his body. “I just wanna appreciate you.”

Follo playfully rolled his eyes, leaning in and pressing a kiss to your temple. “You do more than enough.”

You pull away from his neck, meeting his scrunched up face. “What That mean? you want me to stop?”

Follo’s lips pressed tightly together at your words, slowly looking away as that familiar shade crept up again. You pressed another kiss to his throat. when he didn’t pull away? That sold you.

Much to follo’s displeasure (overwhelming pleasure) a one time thing transformed into something of routine. Anywhere, anytime your lips would find his neck. Like it was their rightful place. I don’t think follo is the biggest on PDA but when you kiss there he can’t help but let you.

It’s typically quick. So quick you could blink and miss it. Sitting down, watching tv? On him. Waiting in line? Leaving marks up and down his neck. Working out? His arms are gonna be your personal chew toy.

his face is always the same too. bright red, nervous smile like the one he had when you first came his way with your bright smile.

Your favorite way to get a reaction out of him? Lipstick. Or really anything that would stain and leave a horrid mark that would stick around for a day or two.

You’d force him to sit on your bed. buzzing with nerves as you skimmed over the line you’d purchased on a drug store. Dilbertly taking your time picking out the perfect one, doing swatches on the inner side of your wrist. Then dragging against your lips. Then littered all over his neck. Pressing various, bright shades against his reddening skin.

He fisted the sheets, trying his absolute hardest to keep his wits as you did so. Throat continuously bobbing up and down up and down, swallowing his own words. Eventually you have to grip his jaw, forcing him perfectly in place.

“Stay still. ” You grumbled lowly. pulling away from the underside of his jaw, admiring the shade of Neapolitan pink on his tanned skin.

“stay still.” Follo scoffed. “you’re doing this to torture me.”

“Nooo…I’m doing this because I need to see which one’s the best. You see? I have a chart for it and everything!

Follo’s eyes followed your finger to the abandoned little piece of paper you’d brought out,way back when you first coaxed him into the room. Long forgotten with not a single piece of writing on it.

Quickly you pulled him back to you, pressing another one behind his ear. “Now let me work!”

And all he would do is sigh, slumping his shoulders and letting you pepper paint the canvas of his skin.

Don’t think he’s not gonna get you back though. He will find a way. (But that’s just a fiction, a fan fiction!)

Scaling the poles of a rickety, steel fire escape. waiting at the broken step a few feet below your window. hanging on only by a loose pipe and pure strength like a kid on the monkey bars as he calls your name, letting it echo off dusty brick into the solemn night. admiring the sound.

within seconds you appeared. face glowing at the sight of him, which in turn made his cheeks flush.

You watched him as he swayed in the wind. eyes trailing down the veins of his forearm that were caught in your light. particularly on the way they bulged from strain.

A small smirk formed on your lips and your hand dramatically drapped over your forehead.

“Oh Zanka, Zanka! whereart thou zanka? Where is my love? my heart!”

He clicked his tounge, looking away sharply. as he felt the heat rush to ears“…Thats not how that line goes and you know it…we really gotta do this everytime?”

“awh, c’mon you know you like it.” You mock. leaning further out the window. “plus, fitting ain’t it? With you scalling up my wall and all?”

Zanka huffs with half hearted exhaustion “tch…c’mon just let me up rupunzal. been waiting all day for this..”

Your eyebrow quirked up in feigned shock. “Oh so you do think about me?”

“You know the answer to that already don’t you? C’mon, know you’ve been thinking ‘bout me too.”

You grumble something about his impatience before letting your cord down. Zanka quickly reaches for it and as soon as contact was made it snuggly tightened itself around his wrist, hoisting him up to your window and bring you two face to face. Noses almost touching.

“Oh! And there he is!” You hum. Leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek just to see how he lights up faster than even he could prevent.

His breath hitched at the soft feeling of warm skin against him. The proximity almost too much for him to bear. He schools himself into a frown in some attempt to save face.

“Here I am indeed…” he mumbled, ignoring the way his throat tightened and voice fought not to waver.

A few more kisses trailed haphazardly up his jaw. Zanka’s muscles surrender under the warmth, allowing himself to slump against the glass and for his legs to part.

You slipped in between. holding his face in your palms as you continued your voyage across his skin, Watching with pleasure as his eyes go all half lidded.

A lazy smirk crossed his face. “ Palm to palm is holy Palmer’s kiss.” He hummed. his southern draw thicking as exhaustion over takes him. Earning a snicker from you.

“Nerd.” You chide.

Zanka let out an incredulous scoff. “You started it.”

“Mmm…but ‘s not the same when you do it.”

“Hater.” He smacked, lacking any real bite.

Zanka’s finger reached up and twirled your twists around his forefinger lazily while he began to return the favor. pressing kiss after kiss across your bronzed cheeks.

You pull him further into your room. loudly stumbling along to your mattress, carelessly bumping into things, suppressing tiny giggles. shushing more yourself than him.

Over the course of your little rendezvous you’ve both have gotten more careless than what was preferred. actually— necessary would be more accurate.

this whole thing had serious consequences. in a sense you were both betraying what you held dear, you knew that. however the world seemed to fade to black whenever you were together, too high off emotion and the gummies stolen from your brother to care.

you two landed on your bed with a bounce. Zanka found himself melting into the soft curve your chest, in between your

that’s how most of your nights were. him slotted between your thighs, listening to you rant and rave about whatever had been inconveniencing you that week. Naturally, he’d do the same but today seemed to be your turn.

“missed you..been bored all week. Zodyl’s busy cooking up something, so now i’m stuck lying around listening to jabber yap all day about random ass bullshit..” you grumbled.

“uh huh.”

“he’s been experimenting with some new stuff lately. now he never shuts up! he could see a bug and now, all of a sudden he could write a whole dissertation about it.”

“okay well how is that different from how he usually is?”

“ the difference is with these—“ you reach down to your side drawer, pulling out a pack of half eaten chocolate. “— he’s actually quieter than usual. like sometime I think he’s up and died.”

zanka’s head tilts to the side. “would that be so bad?”

a sharp giggle erupts from your throat. “c’mon you tripping. he’s not that bad. ya’ll just got off to a bad start that’s all.”

playfully you pinch the side of his arm.

Zanka looks back to you, face all scrunched up in annoyance. “can we be so serious.”

You lean back on your elbows. Tilting your head as you downed a piece of the chocolate. “I’m always serious….want one?”

You extended the rest of it to him.

Zanka scrutinized it long and hard before shaking his head. “one of us gotta be alert.”

“hah? i’m always alert.” you pout.

He scoffed, crossing his arms as he shifted.

“really? because last time i checked i’ve always been the one to hear when someone’s coming, or to remember when it’s time to go.”

Both were facts. Zanka had ears like a hound dog and was a lot more cautious than yourself, not that you really liked to hear it.

in fact your lower lip poked out in a pout every time he did.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re alert, unable to relax and just spend time with me, i hear you. loud and clear.” you rolled your eyes.

Zanka craned his head up, getting a better look of the way your eyebrows furrowed.

“you say that like it’s a bad thing.” He hummed out.

“Just so you know, if i didn’t keep my ears open and let you just— be; we’d be caught. Either by your leader or your mental patient of a brother.” he reminded.

“again, not that bad. Not bad at all and you know it.” you half heartedly defended. You Knew as good as him the type of person your brother was but you couldn’t help but want to see that spark in his eye when he gets started.

Zanka’s jaw ticked. “he’s borderline psychotic. you saw what he did to me.” he grumbled lowly.

you hummed, maniqured fingertips combing through his chocolate and vanilla colored bangs. Whatever rant he was about to go on is quickly forgotten at the sensation. Sucker.

“So what if he don’t feel bad? I didn’t feel bad neither when i saw how he did you. That mean i’m no good either?”

You teased in that honeyed voice of yours.

He hated that. How you knew every trick in the book to make him melt into you.

Zanka’s lips pressed together in mock consideration, trying harder than ever to school his expression. “well, look at you now. Treating me like i’m some kind of pet. i’d say that’s pretty wicked of you.”

As your kisses begin to trail zanka began to shake your head.

“not— not the point though, imagine if he caught us. like this.”

you picked at a piece of zanka’s hair, toying with it between your fingers as you huffed. “don’t think he’d do much to be honest…too lazy for that.”

“okay well— you’re biased so your opinion can’t really be trusted now can it? he’s your brother.”

To seal alway another retort you pushed his bangs back, exposing his forehead and pressed a few languid kisses there.

“look, he won’t find out. And even if he does, if he cares about me he won’t mess with you.”

you could see from the small line formed between his brows that he didn’t quite believe you, But the feeling of your fingers on his scalp were too much for him to call it out.

So instead he melted, head lolled back as you played with his hair; Droning on and on about your week.

the words don’t reach him. only bits and pieces over the low buzz of the world around him. The screeches of cars speeding outside with music blaring out so loud you could hear it from miles; the silent murmurs of scummy raiders only a few feet away from your thin walls.

All of it served as background noise to him while he studied your face, your vasalined lips that shined even brighter under your fluorescent overhead light.

The horrible thing about the night is that there wasn’t any signal on the passage of time. No shades of gray, bright blue, or orange and pink. just a dark, cosmic black.

He was supposed to keep his wits. to be the responsible one. but not tonight, he couldn’t, not in your arms.

but his warm haze came to a screeching halt when loud cackle bursts through the halls.

Zanka immediately sprung up at the noise, putting distance between the two of you before being rendered completely ridged as fear sized his body.

His eyes darted between your door and yourself, who looked almost equally shaken. Eyes widened and mouth gone slack.

Zanka zeroed in on the sound. The stifled giggles, the overly jolly footsteps hitting the worn wood flooring over and over.

shit.

Zanka jumped off the bed and ducked beneath your bed, Holding his breath against the dust that coated the floor. in a matter of seconds your door swung open and hit the wall with a thud.

A voice rang out, maybe one of the worst voices he could’ve heard in that moment— jabbers.

“hey…you didn’t fuck with my supply right?”

Zanka’s face almost dropped for a second in a surprise.

Jabber’s voice didn’t carry the same giddiness or mania that it did in the past. For once he almost seemed completely relaxed. his words came out gruff. slightly strung together but not incoherent.

he could hear the the bed creak as you shifted around.

“What shit? you smoke half of it.”

“how would you know I smoke half of it if you’re not in their consistently?”

There was a beat of silence. He could almost hear the gears churning in your skull.

He could imagine how you craned your neck forward in feigned disbelief as you simply said “How the fuck does that correlate???”

“if you’re not in there, then how do you know?”

“because it’s a friday night and you don’t do anything but make weird shit and nobody trust your weird ass strain of weed so you test it on yourself?”

Jabber smacked his lips. “man that’s some bullshit and you know it. i can’t believe you would even try me like that, i thought we were close.”

“…Im looking at you in right now and you look higher than a kite.”

Jabber didn’t respond. He just rolled his eyes and he just started mumbling under his breathe as he began rummaging through your dresser

“flyer than a kite i get high than rapunzel , keep the snow white i could buy it by the bundle—“

You reached for a pillow and throw it at him.

Before it could slam into the side of his head Jabber caught it and without turning towards you thrusted it full force.

you jerk to the right, the white lump narrowly missing you and instead ramming into your head board, pushing it into the wall with a loud thwack

“Are you good?!” You shouted, the shock and disbelief overwhelming.

“I’m cool! I’m feeling so good! You however, clearly aren’t because why would you would you touch my shit?!”

“I just told yo goofy ass i didn’t touch anything!”

Jabber puts his hands over his ears. “Liar. Liar liar— lalalalala!!! Can’t hear yo lying ass!”

Jabber continued in his search. Anxiety begins to bubble in his gut as Jabber gets closer and closer. Eventually landing Right in front of the bed, his only escape. Blocked off.

there really wasn’t anywhere to run. Jabber was infront of the only window, no doubt he’d be seen. and the bags of braiding hair and the boxes of product behind him were blocking him from crawling out the other side.

Don’t look. For the love of the sphere don’t look.

You hopped out of the bed, trailing right on his heels. Berating him and trying your hardest to get him to turn around.

Jabber shifted through each and every drawer. Every paper. every hair and fashion magazine. looking at each one with meticulous precision and heavenly efficiency.

When he found nothing his eyebrows furrowed.

A small relieved smile formed on your face. “you see? there’s nothing. so just go back to wherever you came from.”

Jabber let out a low groan.

“damn…if you don’t have it…ugh. “ He tilted his head up to meet the low glow of your overhead light.

you crossed your arms. “c’mon, say it. I was right and you were wrong and then we can both just go about our business!”

Jabber took a long pause just staring into the soft glow of your overhead light; not blinking once even as his eyes began to get all bleary.

suddenly his attention snaps to the bed.

A grin formed on his face. “ohhh i get it… damn you got me real good there.”

your eyebrow quaked up in confusion. “…huh?”

jabber dugged into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He crouched on the ground, all fours and flicked the gas on. Coming face to face with wide eyed, petrified zanka.

A heavy, long stretch of silence weighed over you three.

Zanka could feel his soul leave his body. his skin turning a sickly white.

“….No way….no ‘effing way…”

Jabber looked between the both of you. over and over as he tried to figure out the scene in front of him.

Zanka couldn’t move. He couldn’t think, look He couldn’t even tear his eyes away. The sense of was too much. A reaction is what he needed it.

Zanka could see that moment in jabbers eyes when everything connected.

A slow, wicked smile pulled at his lips.

He knew the lay out of your room pretty well, if he moved fast enough he could probably run out the door. Or maybe jump out the window. He waited for it. For the moment Jabber would pounce.

But it never came. Instead Jabber started laughing uncontrollably. tears pricking at his eyes.

“No way! You and mr bad additude?! Jeez you have horrible taste!”

Zanka’s jaw goes slack at that. He couldn’t even respond. All he could let out is just a small “…huh?”

Jabbers smile widened. “c’mon mr Bad attitude! watcha doin’ down there! you ain’t tryna hide from me are ya?”

“what— i— why the hell would i hide from you?”

“i mean…you’re dating my sister behind my back, maybe you were scared of what mankira could do hm?” Jabber chuckled to himself.

You shot Jabber a glare. “hey…”

Jabber threw his hands up in mock surrender. “woah woah! No need to get all ticked off i’m just playin’ i swear! got way bigger fish to fry…wouldn’t hurt your little boy toy over here too badly anyway.”

“Jabber…” You warn.

“i’m kidding jeez…since when where you did you get all sensitive?” Jabber groaned.

Zanka grumbled something incoherent as he pulled himself out of the dark sea of dust and debris.

“Won’t you just get on somewhere? you were looking for your stuff and it wasn’t in here so just go okay?!”

Jabber finally shot off the lighter and got off his knees. He pressed against jabber, far too close for comfort

“nah i’m too invested now! tell me, when did you two fall for each other? was it instant?”

“That’s none of your business…” Zanka sighed.

“uh— yeah it is. can’t have somebody who couldn’t give a rats ass marry my sister now can i? wait— oo! that reminds me, we need to run that fade back! gotta make sure you can defend her too!”

Jabber raised his hand. with a sharp metal shink his claws unsheathed.

You grabbed Jabber’s wrist and began pulling him towards your door. “Bye Jabber.”

“what— no i gotta fight him! he owes me!” Jabber whined in petulance.

“Then do it later when you’re outside and away from me!” you gritted

“c’mon let me stay, let me stay!” he begged

you started to dig in your pocket and hold up the rest of the chocolate you’d eaten earlier. Dangling it in front of him.

Jabbers eyes widened. “Hah! so you did take it!”

“First of all, i didn’t. you gave it to me. And second, i give you this you leave and you don’t tell anyone what you saw today.”

Jabber groaned and looked at it. Eyebrows furrowed and twitching as he thought it over. He snatched the chocolate. turning on his heel.

“Yeah yeah….I’m still getting my fade though. See ya mr bad attitude! don’t get too carried away, stay safe!”

Before Jabber could fully close the door, You hurled another pillow his way. Though it ends up hitting the door.

Jabber stuck his tongue out mockingly

then fully closing the door with a thud.

You let out a heavy sigh. “Sorry about that…he’s not psychotic but he’s definitely annoying.”

Zanka gave an awkward smile. “you don’t say…”

You exhaled, pulling your hair tie out and letting your jade braids fall from their hold. The clacks of barrett’s and beads echo throughout the quiet room.

“Look what he said earlier— i wouldn’t let him seriously hurt you. He’s just talking, you know that right?” You frowned.

Zanka gently grabbed your wrist and pressed his lips to yours. You could feel your face slowly heat up as you felt the plushness against yours. His scent of jasmine and vanilla evading and mixing with yours.

You stayed there for a moment. pressing back gently. Sadly he was the one to break first.

“look…you ain’t gotta apologize for ‘nuthin. i mean…my siblings are kind of crazy too. So your brother doesn’t scare me. I’m here for you y’know?”

You wrap your arms around his neck and give him a peck.

Zanka ended up staying for a few hours past what he was supposed to. But he couldn’t leave you. He was way too deep into. even if you your brother was a nut job.

Zanka couldn’t rest. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat. He couldn’t even pay attention to the lesson in its final minutes. His leg bounced uncontrollably, anxiously waiting for the bell.

When you first moved to the central hell guard training academy, zanka didn’t meet you. not for a long while.

Actually, you wouldn’t even pass each other in the halls till a year after.

You may not have met formally, but by god did he know you. how? well, he knew you from the moment you stepped foot into the school. Hell he knew more than he’d liked to honestly— not by his own volition, of course.

No. he knew you from the endless whispers you’d stirred for “soaring above the rest.”

for how “talented and smart” you were.

for how “charming” you were.

and the ever present comments comparing you to him. The words varied from person to person but the sentiment remained the same.

“she’s great…with her talent, i’d reckon she’d knock even zanka down a few ranks.”

Or worse— the insistence that Zanka and you were in some secret relationship.

It was the one he couldn’t escape, for some inconceivable reason that was the one. It was everywhere, not even at the comfort of his own home could he escape it. That was definitely one downside to having a family who’s so involved with everything.

Zanka shifted in his seat uncomfortably. memories of the night before slowly creeping up on him and seeping into his thoughts.

Per usual it was just kyoka, goka and himself at the dinner table. A familiar silence filling the distance between them. the only sounds being the faint clashing of metal and porcelain.

“Zanka.” Kyoka called lowly. the type of tone that could cause anyone to freeze.

and zanka did as such. eyes widen like a deer in headlights as he slowly lifted his head to meet his sisters gaze.

“hm?” he answers simply. pushing back whatever discomfort her voice brought.

“your grades are slipping.” She says matter a factly. not heated, no room for debate, not even full of disappointment (very very rare).

Zanka’s brows knitted together at her words. Despite himself he couldn’t help the confusion peaking through his tone. “wha?”

kyoka’s lips pressed thinly together. Gears turning behind her eyes before she let out a heavy sigh. “I looked at the ranking—“

“i’m number one.” Zanka immediately added.

“you are.” she hums softly before adding— “but the gap between you and that one girl…cutting it kind of close aren’t you?”

Zanka’s stomach churns at the mention of you. He knew well what she meant, the thought had been plaguing him with every passing day. he almost wanted to scoff, or beg them to let it go even though he knew deep down they wouldn’t.

He shifts slightly. An excuse at the tip of his tongue before kyoka made another remark. “is something distracting you?”

His body moved faster than his mind. He shook his head automatically. “course not.”

But Kyoka wasn’t swayed in the slightest. Her gaze intensified as she pressed forward. “you’re in the same class as her, correct?”

Zanka nods. His gaze fell to his food, shuffling it around in hopes that maybe the conversation would pass. Hell it works every other time.

“yeah uh— we’re both in AP statistics.” He answered in a low mumble.

Kyoka slowly nods. silence stretched over the three of them.

Goka looked between the oldest and youngest, His stare was particularly scrutinizing. judgment ridden all over his face.

“Do you talk?” Goka eventually asked.

Zanka swallowed the bile in his throat. “uhm— occasionally. only when it’s when necessary.”

kyoka’s eyebrows furrowed in the way she usually does when she’s trying to decipher something. as always it only takes her a few milliseconds to catch on. fascinating when observed, horrifying when directed.

A small smile tugs at kyoka’s lips. “she’s pretty isn’t she?”

Zanka swallowed. The question was a dirty trick. he knew it too. You were pretty. soft features, big rosy cheeks, always wearing a kind smile on your lips. you were pretty, but it was a trick. he knew it from the smirk on Kyoka’s face.

the safe thing to do would to lie. Avoid the question entirely but as he opened his mouth the words got lodged in the throat. Like something in him wouldn’t allow him to lie.

So He shut his mouth and quietly against his own will, agreed. “yeah…she’s…pretty.”

He regrets his admission as soon as it leaves him and he catches the glint in his older siblings eyes.

Kyoka presses him some more. “She’s awfully kind too yeah? i heard she does lots for the community.”

Bigmouth strikes again. he should’ve known better than to open his mouth…

zanka sinks in his seat. He could feel Stomach acid bubbling and bursting with every passing second.

In some attempt to correct his error zanka let out a scoff. “oh well i wouldn’t go that far.” He picks up his fork once more, actually eating what was infront of him instead of pushing it around like a child.

Kyoka’s brows snot up playfully. “No? why not?”

Zanka took down his final piece of rice in one big gulp. “well— she has a horrible ego. Patronizing. Snarky. Whatever kindness she has is fake. No doubt about it.

Goka slowly nodded as he finished his own piece of meat. “So…you dislike her?”

Zanka nodded (a little too quickly.) “I hate her.”

“hm.” Goka huffed. Pushing out from the table and taking his place at the sink with his empty dish.

“hm?” Zanka repeated in near disbelief and certain confusion. That easy?

“well—“ Kyoka started. it was always a well with them. He could never win with them could he?

“y’know…there’s an ancient saying. The line between Love and hate is a thin one.”

Zanka froze for a moment. They’re not— no. No way in hell.

He’s snapped out of it when a piece of sausage slipped in his throat.

He loud wrenching sound erupts from deep in his chest. His fist clenched and drummed on his rabid heart, the other gripped onto the table. Small indents forming beneath the pressure.

His fist beat Over and over until it a thick, mangled brown piece flew out. Coated in spit.

“i’m— i’m not—“

“Oh don’t be childish.” Kyoka sighed. “All i’m trying to say is be wary. It’s an old saying but it still holds true. One minute you hate, the next minute you’re in love. What’s important is to—“

“i’m not gonna fall in love.” Zanka cut off. Quickly gathering his plate and putting it beside goka.

“Oh everyone says that. Just be aware okay? You don’t need to fall in love at your age. just focus on school.” Kyoka rose up, dusting herself off. She eyed the chewed up piece that rested by zanka’s foot.

“Goka, Zanka will clean up. Be in bed by 10.” With the turn of her heel she was down the hall and Goka obediently followed.

when you finally came face to face he was dead set on hating you.

but does zanka ever get exactly what he wants?

Bbbbriiingggg!

the school bell announces. slicing through his thoughts and jerks him up from off the wooden desk his head had been laid at for the past half hour.

everyone else was already half way out the door, spilling into the hallway.

He quickly gathers all his things, stuffing them into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

he swiftly slipped into the hall. integrating into the sea of body’s and making his way through. his feet carry him down with an uncanny eagerness in their steps.

he could feel his heart pound against the honey cage of his ribs, The sound of it shaking him so hard it echoed in his ears. He gripped the handle of the door and ripped it open.

His eyes dart around the room for a moment. Finding your eyes faster than he probably should’ve. You sat in the row next to him, leant against the desk as you fumbled with a small egg shaped device in your palms.

You glance up and your eyes meet his. Greeting him with a small polite smile that just radiated warmth. Zanka’s teeth dig into the pink flesh of his gums, holding back a small noise as his chest ached.

He forces the corners of his mouth to sink into a tight lipped frown. Eyes darting away from yours. God how were you so sweet? His mind cursed. The most he gave was a small nod of acknowledgement before making a b-line to his seat.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see your face fall flat, Quietly returning to the toy you were messing with.

It wasn’t long before the rest of your peers seeped into the classroom, filling up the empty desk and replacing the tense air with lively chatter. Including yourself, big smile on your face as you gossiped with a group of girls surrounding your desk. Biggest grin on your face.

Everyone always went on about how charismatic and beautiful you were. All day, everyday. day to dusk. He heard it so much it made him sick but what deepened the feeling was the fact you were all those things and more.

He wasn’t an idiot. Or at least he wasn’t enough of one to the point where he could deny the blatantly obvious. On the flip side though, he was enough of one to let his feelings for you get…convoluted.

“Settle, settle!” The teachers voice boomed throughout the room, shaking its foundation and sending everyone scurrying to their seats. In her hands were a stack of papers, so tall they were practically up to her chin. At the sight the class erupted into small complaints and pre mourning of grades.

“Ah, no use in getting all whiney and boo-hooing! It’s graded people, what’s done is done.” The woman practically sang with a sickening grin, full of delight on her face. She danced down the isles, handing off papers like candy to mostly crushed students.

Except for you of course. You perked up in your seat. A fire burned in the depths of your eyes as she got closer and closer to the two of you.

Face down she places both of your tests on your respective tests simultaneously. Zanka could feel his chest just get tighter and tighter as anticipation rises in his chest. It was ludicrous the amount of nerves buzzing.

He did well. He knows he did well, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind. But did he do better than you? Enough to earn that shining smile? That was the million dollar question.

He wanted to scratch his eyes out. It didn’t matter. He had more important things to do than imagine the look on your stupid face when he scores higher than you. When you’re forced to fully acknowledge him as a peer, not in the same way everyone else in class was. A true peer. An equal.

god if he could wrap his hands around his own throat and strangle himself until he turned blue he would.

It was often Zanka would find himself in this position. schooling himself on things that he should already know. Mostly late at night but he couldn’t help but to notice that annoyingly it’s seeped into midday too.

He glanced over to you as you unfolded the paper, watching as satisfaction painted your pretty face. He could faintly see a 100 and something written out in crimson red ink.

He looked back on his own. carefully peeling open the paper with shaking hands to reveal a clean 100/100.

A smirk stretches across his face at the score. He slowly leaned back in his seat. moving loose brown and blonde locks from out of his line of sight. Scanning through his head for the right words to put together. For the one the least forward and the ones that lacked any true affection.

eventually he settled on one. (though it really did take longer than he’d liked.) He craned his head to the side, calling out your name with a bit of a strain. You whip your head around with a soft hum. Wide rueful eyes trained on him.

God why did you have to look at him like that? Why did you have it out for him so bad?

He could feel himself wilt ever so slightly under you but like hell if he ever lets you see that.

“what ‘cha get?” he hummed. Simple. Easy. The way it should be.

your expression relaxed as a small sigh leaves you. Eyes getting all half lidded and a lazy smirk to go with it.

“why ‘ya so interested in what I got going on? What do you got going on, huh? What's your score?” you hum. Not the same sweet one you gave everyone else, but rather mocking.

Zanka snorted at your tone. “101 out of 100, extra credit.”

you stifle a small laugh. “really?”

“i don’t got a reason to lie to ‘ya do i?” he questions softly.

you don’t say anything. Just another one of your small considerate hums and the small tilt of your head.

Zanka found himself at the edge of his seat. leg bouncing eagerly. “c’mon, I told you, tell me. what is it, a D or something like that?” he teased lightly.

you scoff. “you wish.” you lifted the paper up, dangling it in front of him like a prize.

102/100. of course.

frustration and irreconcilable disappointment builds in the pit of Zanka’s stomach.

he looks away with a slight pout. “congrats.” he gritted out. Every syllable leaving him feels like pulling teeth.

Your expression softened ever so slightly. lowering the paper and placing it back onto your desk.

“relax, it was probably a small thing. c’mon let me see.” you leaned across the isle. eying his paper.

Blood swells under his skin at your proximity. beating and popping against it until he could feel his ears whistle and cheeks grow hot. He forces his eyes away from yours. snatching the paper out of your reach, pressing it close to his chest.

“h-hey back off!” The words are immediate. Firm. Enough to shake you and enough to shock himself.

Shit. He’d almost wished he bit his tongue from the look on your face. It’s subtle. One of those ’blink and you’ll miss it’ type of things, a small look of genuine hurt. Or atleast that’s what he thought, you didn’t give him enough time to properly tell. In a millisecond you went back to your usual snark.

”Okay okay…just trying to help but since you’re just so above help, guess I’m not needed.” You huff. Turning your nose up and away from him.

Zanka’s teeth tear and chew at his bottom lip. A part of him tugged at him, telling him to apologize. To tell you how he didn’t mean to be rude but— you didn’t really look hurt. Just a little rattled at his outburst. Furthermore, you went right back to your cheery self. Talking and laughing and sharing scores with the same group from earlier. Plus plus— he didn’t even like you. God why does that fact keep escaping him? He couldn’t give two shits.

So, instead of speaking up and awkwardly apologizing in front of you and your phony friends, he just slumped in his seat. Finding a clock on the wall and putting all his might into watching its hands jerky movements around the circle until the sound of Ms. Kiyoko’s booming voice came crashing back down like a tidal wave.

“You all got yer’ sobbing and complain’ done right? Good, good. Now, looking through the homework last week you lot didn’t quite get anything I’ve laid down to you. So—I thought of a fun little project for us all.”

The whole class bursted into grins and sighs of relief. Even you were beaming like the whole world went Technicolor.

As Ms. Kiyoko raised her hand she let out a loud disappointed tsk. “Ah, don’t get too excited now. I’m picking your groups.”

At her cruelty, everyone’s excitement morphed back into their usual state of depression. Earning a small wicked smile from the woman. She reached around to a small tin can, filled with thinly tan popsicle sticks. She raised it in front of the class, swirling it around.

“With the exception of our two star students, Zanka and y/n!” She clapped with the tin cup before setting it down in front of you two.

Your eyes both respectively dart between the sticks and each other before eventually you nudged his side. “Your pick.”

His eyebrows knitted together at the jab. He let out a small scoff. “Why? You’re closer.”

”First of all— no im not. It’s about 17.9 centimeters from me while you’re only 16.5.”

He couldn’t even stop his eye from twitching at the absolute bullshit you just threw at him. Add that to the long list of things he couldn’t stand about you. God forbid you didn’t get your way and all of a sudden you’re an actual supercomputer. If he’s honest he’s debated with himself about the actual possibility of that. If the sphere had sent down some lustrous robot to fuck with him.

The itch to make a snarky remark is one that begs for instant relief. Control. That’s what he’s lost around you. Control. He hates you for that too. So in a grand effort he doesn’t say anything particularly harsh, just a small grumble and a grunt calling you a “filthy liar.” Which you were.

He squeezed his eyes tight. Plunging his fingers into the cluster and putting his trust into fate to weave to find a good one.

A silent prayer rings in his mind to the sphere. That maybe whoever he got would be half decent, even if they were lazy. (Then again that may be a little better than the rest. At least he wouldn’t have to re do half assed slides at 2:00 am.) Or maybe he’d get someone pragmatic and not completely annoying.

after a moment he grips on one and slowly picks it out. As he opened his eyes, his blood ran cold. Why did the universe hate him…

When he opens his eyes he’s met with your name scribbled in black ink on the other side of the stick. Curiosity strikes you and a shit eating grin forms on your face.

”c’mon can’t be that bad—“ You lean over his shoulder and the same expression flashes across your face.

”…No way.” You hiss.

Ms.Kiyoko does the same, except her grin is only reinforced tenthfold. “Oh? Oh.” Her hand shoots to cover her mouth.

”Our first pair has been made, Zanka and y/n! Now you two go find a nice desk to sit at, hm?”

Zanka’s moved on autopilot to his seat and you plopped down right beside him. There was no way. No way the universe just did him like that. Everything that followed blended into the background. complete white noise.

The white noise stayed for a long while. Even as ms. Kiyoko began the instructions, he could only faintly hear that it was something about the environment of the Kamuitari District compared to the rest of the ground’s atmosphere and turn it into a graph. But— fuck, that didn’t matter.

He couldn’t fathom it. How could the world completely chew up and spit out his faith like that? What did he do so wrong to outright deny him even the most simple pleasure.

Zanka stared at his desk, recounting every moment in his life that led up to this while you talked at him. All he could do is just nod obediently. Which earned a scowl and a shove from you.

”You’re such a dick, you know that?” You pull out a piece of paper and scribble down your number, sliding it in front of him. The bell rang out and you pushed off from your now shared desk, slinging a bag over your shoulder.

”When your brain grows back, call me.” And with that you disappeared into the swarm of people.

***

Jabber’s laugh crackled through the cafeteria, earning stares from passerby’s and a roiling red faced Zanka.

”It’s not funny goddamn it!” Zanka snapped.

It did nothing to slow down jabber though. “No no you right…It’s fucking hallarious! Getting paired with your crush who hates your guts, i feel sorry for ‘yo ass.”

”She’s not my crush.” Zanka sighed, leaning back against his seat. “She’s too damn bossy, too loud, vapid. Forget having a stick up her ass, she is the stick.”

Jabber nodded, grin still plastered on his face. “So you both have giant sticks rammed up there, see? Match made in heaven!”

Zanka’s face contorted into pure disgust. “Don’t even go there.”

Zanka continued with a scoff, crossing his arms. ”I can barely stand talking to her. Dating her would be hell. I’d bet she’d lecture me on not— kissing right or something. Or maybe not holding her hand tight enough.”

”you’ve thought about kissing her?” Jabber said, that familiar spark lighting in his eye that he always gets whenever he finds an opportunity to tease and to poke and prod.

”Wha—no! No no no. I’m just saying, it is mathematically, biologically impossible for us to ever date.”

”man if you don’t sit the hell down somewhere, no one said anything about y’all dating. All i said was that there is a very thin line between love and hate—“

Zanka clamped his hands over his ears like a petulant child. “No. No. For the thousandth time I do not like her. I do not love her. I am firmly on the side of hate. Holy shit why does everyone keep saying that..”

Jabbers eyebrow quirked up. “Who else said that?”

”My sister and brother of all people. They went on this huge thing about how the gap between us is closer than it should be and how girlfriends and crushes are all distractions. And then why I told them I couldn’t stand her, they said just that.”

”Shiti i mean…one person is whatever, two people is odd, three is definitely a sign friend..”

”Nah fuck that. You people are on bull and you know it. What evidence do you even have? You need evidence for a claim, isn’t that what you science people always say?”

Jabber clasped his hand and sprung up right. “All right since you wanna go there…You talk about her constantly. Whether its about grades, or just her annoying you ergo, she is constantly on your brain. You are pushing yourself to be better than her and when you are you gloat about it, not even about the grade just her and how she looked. Speaking of which— you do pay way too much attention to her face.”

”So, the court concludes that you like her.”

“I don’t— you’re making up evidence.”

Jabber sighed, slumping back into his chair. “For a guy who claims he’s so smart you sure are an idiot.”

”Anywho” Jabber continued on. “What’s the project anyway?”

”look at statistics, make a claim. Didn’t hear much about it though…Damn so I have to call her.” Zanka grumbled plainly as if it was the simplest thing in the world

Jabber nearly choked. A bit of coke spraying from his mouth and dripping onto his shirt. “You have to be kidding me.”

Zanka Grimiced at the sight. “Ew what the fuck Jabber—“

”You have her number?” Jabbers light tone disappeared in an instant. The switch sent a shiver down Zanka’s own spine.

Zanka’s eyebrows knitted together. “…Yeah? She gave me it.”

Jabbers eyes batted like he couldn’t believe the words falling from Zanka’s mouth right now. Squinting his eyes and twisting his head every way like he was trying to make sense of this before finally saying “You are so fucking stupid.”

Zanka huffed. “You are thinking way too deep into this. She doesn’t like me. I don’t like her. It’s all a means to an end.”

Jabber opened his mouth and quickly shut it. ”You know what— sure man. If you truly, genuinely believe that, sure.”

“you know what, why do you even care? Don’t you have someone else to bother? What about that one guy? The short one?

”Fuu? Not here today. So congrats you get to see your best friend!”

Zanka sighed, finally taking a bite out of his cold soup. “Just my luck…”

Jabber’s lips smacked and let out a small giggle. “Awh…don’t be like that. I mean who else is gonna help you and little miss perfect?”

”Nothing to help.” Zanka reminded.

Jabber stuck his tongue out. “You're so boring. So what is your plan ‘hm? For the ‘project” As he said this, Jabber picked a meatball from his plate and haphazardly flicked it at Zanka’s forehead. And much to his dismay Zanka dodged it with ease.

“Asshole.” Zanka mumbled under his breath before continuing. ”I dunno…call her? Make a plan and get an A? Normal stuff that partners do.”

“Right…Well…see ya mr. Bad attitude!" With a huff, jabber sprung off the rickety little bench and started skipping off.

“Wha— wait where the hell are you going?” Zanka stammered.

“I have other things to do and since you don’t want my help, Imma get on somewhere. Plus, it’s not my lunch period anyway.” Jabber hummed.

”…How are you the number 3?”

“Cus’ im smart, later Mr. Bad additiude!”

***

Apart of him really wished he had taken Jabber's advice when he first offered it. Jabber, despite all his odd ways, knew people. Far better than Zanka himself did. If he didn’t know better he would call Jabber. But he did know better and that knowledge told him he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he ended up calling.

Leaving him here. staring between your number and the keypad on his phone. It shouldn’t be this hard. ‘It was the same thing as talking to you in class, just over the phone.’ He scolded himself.

But every time his fingers hovered over the numbers it was like everything he ate from the past two days was gonna come up.

He attempted to swallow it down. It was fine. It’s just business. Just keep it formal and everything would be okay.

With a stupidly shaken hand, he typed in your phone number and watched as it ringed over and over. His throat swelled as the seconds moved at a snail's pace. Thoughts spun at the back of his mind. One’s that didn’t even make a lot of sense considering everything.

Like if the number you gave him was fake, Or maybe you were watching seeing how many times he’ll ring. A way to Make fun of him in some weird way with your phony friends. The logic in it? Non-existent. But it didn’t stop his brain from going haywire.

But it all came to a screeching halt when your sweet voice hummed through the speaker. “Hello?”

Zanka swallowed. God why was his throat getting so dry? “Uh— hey it’s Zanka. You told me to call about the project?”

You were silent for a moment before you let out a small gasp.“Oh yeah! I almost forgot about that, I’m sorry I was gonna call you first but i was—“

”n—nah it’s cool don’t worry.” Zanka awkwardly reached his head and rubbed his neck. Racking his brain on the next thing to say. “Anyway, we should start at the library. I remember seeing a study from the college—“

”Oh I already found those during lunch. That and a history timeline as we know it currently.” He could just hear the smile on your face.

Zanka’s muscles tightened at your words. The lightness. Of course you already found something. While he was sitting around ruminating you were already thinking up everything.

“Right..” He grunts out with the tick of his jaw. “And you’re sure you got the right one?”

You pause. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Zanka very thoughtlessly continued on. ”I mean…You’re kind of low so you might’ve just gotten the one closest to the ground.”

He could just imagine the way your eyebrows furrowed in offense or annoyance. The way your mouth parted slightly in disbelief.

“…You know what I’m gonna ignore that. I got the right one. I checked three times with the librarian. Maybe you should focus on yourself and your thinking,”

Zanka’s lips pressed together thinly. “Why would I ever need to worry about my thinking?”

You scoff. “I mean if I’m recalling correctly you were the one who zoned out earlier. Not me.”

Should’ve saw that one coming. Zanka exhaled. “That’s not a regular thing and you know it.”

Zanka collapsed onto the bed behind him. The intensity that overtook him melting off him as the mattress dipped under his weight.

“Really? I must be blind then because I see it all the time.” Through the receiver he could hear your footsteps gliding across what sounded like wood. And then onto a chair.

“Liar.” He sneered.

”You know what I know you didn’t call me just to argue so what do you want?” You groaned.

”well— I was thinking that we should meet over the weekend to work on the project?”

“The weekend?” You said incerdiously.

Zanka’s sighed. “What’s wrong with the weekend?

”I mean there’s nothing wrong with the weekend but you don’t think it would be wiser to meet sooner?”

He clicked his tongue in consideration. You were right as you usually were but something in him just couldn’t. “…Maybe.” He replied weakly

As seconds passed your light, cheerful tone just got more and more annoyed. He could just see the way your nose scrunched up. ”It’s not, maybe it is.”

”right, right.” He solemnly admitted.

You took a breath. A small bit of your usual lightness returning to your voice. None the less still exasperated. “So when and where did you want to meet?”

And foolishly he said the first thing that came to mind. “My house?”

Your breath hitched slightly, followed by a long pause. “Your house?” You repeated slowly.

And it was times like this he desperately wanted to reach his hands around and choke himself. His head begged to take the words back. To skirt quickly passed it like he’s had dozens of times but as he opened his mouth, his throat constricted the words from coming out. Not only that his heart ached.

And it was times like this he desperately wanted to reach his hands around and choke himself. His head begged to take the words back. To skirt quickly passed it like he’s had dozens of times but as he opened his mouth, his throat constricted the words from coming out. Not only that his heart ached. 

Zanka nodded. “That’s not a problem for you right? C’mon I swear I don’t bite.” He forced out a small chuckle, more to put himself at ease more than anything.

”…Fine.” You relented in an exasperated huff.  “What day?”

Zanka cocked his head to the side. Above his desk, a few inches above a jasmine plant he’d been gifted a few years ago, hung his pale blue calander. His gaze narrowed to find a day without some type of note. Over and over again just to be met with nothing again and again.  Tomorrow there was a student council meeting. the next was tutoring, and the day after was  training with Kiyoka. 

The meeting was sure to be a drag. Other snobbish kids sat at a table talking about things that wouldn’t even matter past graduation. So was tutoring, which he didn’t really need. Kiyoka on the opposite end of the spectrum was very important and needed, so naturally he vetoed that out of the realm of possibilities. He could skip student council but he wouldn’t hear the end of it from everyone involved.

 Leaving… 

“Thursday? Afterschool” His tutoring day. Which honestly made his heart soften ever so slightly.

Your teeth kiss your gums. Before you could pull out an argument , Zanka quickly added. “It’s enough time to gather all our sources, make a conclusion and buy what we need.”

Gears churn in your head. Obnoxiously loud in the silence between you. “Uhhh— yeah that should be fine.”

“Cool, cool…”

Your voice crackled over the receiver again. “So that’s it?” You ask slowly.  Softly.

His stomach panged at that reminder. It was right about now that he should hang up. He’d done his part, made the plan and got you to agree. He should be researching right now, you already got a head start (which he was sure you’d find some way to rub it in his face.) so he would have to work hard too. 

His hums in agreement. “That’s it.”

Zanka pulled his phone out from his ear and in front of him.  thumb hovered over the ‘end call’ button. Muscles twitching. Itching.  But his heart tightened again. His damned heart, always getting in the way of things. Clouding his head. Filling it with the stupidest ideas. Like staying up, listening to you talk far into the night to the suns morning stretch across the sky.

He shook his head.

 You started up again.

”So uh—“ God he could just hear your smile. Feel it’s infectious glow through the grainy microphone. He couldn’t do this. No way in hell he could.

”So uh—I gotta go.” He quickly interrupted. So quick he was sure it came out all mashed together. Clumsy. Lacking all the grace and poise that Kiyoka had drilled into him since he was a boy. 

You come to a screeching halt at his words. signaled by the soft click of your tongue. You force a small polite laugh. “Uhm— yeah. Yeah yeah!…It is kind of late isn’t it?”

“Yeah…So uhm…Bye?” The words come out sharp. Maybe a little condensing too….He really should’ve called Jabber.

“Bye—“ Before you could even finish the whole word Zanka’s thumb slammed onto the red button. In the blink of an eye, the phone shot across the room as if it was hot iron. Zanka’s hand shot out for a pillow and pulled it around his ears like a true coward.

It took a few seconds but his heart was relieved of its painful hold. Breath slowed with every pant.

He’s so screwed. Just what the hell was wrong with him?

***

He’s so screwed. Just what the hell was wrong with him?

That Thought followed him far into the night. His eyes burned as he tried to focus on something, anything to lull him to sleep. But the clock in his room was too loud. Everytime he nestled into scilence it would interrupt again and again. The game went on for hours.

His gaze flickered to the stupid thing. He shuffled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. Zanka’s eyes turned into slits as they strained against the darkness.

12:20

With a huff he reached for the lamp at his bedside.Tugging and swiping at the air until he found the string like structure.

With one pull about a quarter of the room illuminated under the yellowish light. Zanka blinked a couple of times under the blinding light. He stretched across the bed, finger tips feeling the cool metal of his laptop. Both hands grip the sides and with minimal effort pulled it off the cord. Propping it up on his thighs and booting up google. Entering in one simple search

:How do you know when you like someone?

He didn’t know what compelled him. Maybe it was Jabber’s constant insistence or maybe his siblings but he searched it.

Zanka’s results filled with Reddit posts and outdated buzzfeed quizzes from 2015. He scrolled endlessly. Desperately for one that would be deemed satisfactory for his tastes.

He needed to be certain. He needed to know this was all in his head and he was right all along. All it would be was reinforcement that his glances and mysterious heartaches at the sight of you weren’t because of something was intangible as love, but innocent rivalry.

Until finally he stopped at a Reddit post dated to two months ago. He clicks and he reads. 

It was a story about a guy who had mysetrious feelings about a girl. He described her as if she hung the moon and stairs. Lines droned on about her smile, the warmness in voice. The magnetic pull. A lot of the people in the comments called the guy an idiot for doubting himself, encouraging him to go for it. It was all disgustingly sweet. 

Zanka laid back against his pillow, Shut his eyes so tight it stung.

You did have a good smile. He didn’t even have to close his eyes he’s seen it so many times, though never directed at him. He Could see the way your rounded cheeks pushed up as you smiled, the way they made your eyes thin out. Not once had your smiles  ever seemed fake or forced in any way. How could someone ever be so happy and full of life? Especially someone at the top. Well— Jabber was always cheery but he’s a human enigma so he hardly counted.

Your voice had a lightness to it too. Honeyed. Smooth. Sometimes when you said things in presentations it would make his body freeze. Weird. 

He found himself staring at your lips more than he should but that— that didn’t mean anything right? It was a normal part of the face.

he shouldn’t be so resistant. He knew that. but he couldn’t help it the idea was just so inconceivable. 

Suddenly his eye latched onto this one comment.

Been married for twenty-five years, married her after the 5 together. If someone asked me 30 years ago if i would marry my now wife, I honest to good would’ve laughed. I didn’t like her at all, I really did think she was stuck up and full of it since she was pretty popular. We got into arguments all the time, nearly fist fought each other a handful But something weird happened. It was almost like the more I hated her the more I grew to like her. I likes having stupid debates with her and her calling me names. That stupid grin on her face everytime she did so made my chest ache. The minute she gave me a real compliment I could hardly breathe Everything I thought I hated I began to appreciate. Like her smile, her voice. All the things you said in your post.

Love is strange and unusual so I don’t think your stupid, anon, like tons of people have been calling you. The line between love and hate really is a thin one—

His hand flew down and shut his laptop instantly. Nearly smithing it out of existence (hell he would if he could.)

The were a few more lines but he couldn’t bare it. He could hardly take most of it but that last, haunting line he couldn’t take.

Zanka’s hands ran across his face. The digits pressing into his eye sockets, rubbing until he was almost certain that the memory would be scrubbed. But even as he opened them again the text popped right back up in his brain like one of those mole rats at the arcade.

Zanka wondered what did he do. What for he do for the universe to inflict some of the worse horrors onto him. He was in denial but not an idiot. And he had enough brains to understand when it’s time to give up.

He had a crush. That was the long and short of it. He wasn’t in love (god forbid). But he definitely had a crush. 

He thrust his laptop onto the plethora of stuff animals by his side before rolling over onto his stomach. 

As always he was left with way more answers than he started with. Hell he’d gone right back to square one.

What the hell was wrong with him?

***

The next few days he kept his distance. Or as well as someone could when they’re forced to work closely together with someone. Every time his heart tugged at him, he would drag Kyoka’s words to the forefront of his mind. 

Stay focused. Love, relationships, friendships. They’re all distractions, don’t get wound up in emotions.

So he tried his best. Being short with you, brushing off your attempts to get closer and your smile. Your godforsaken smile that was burned into his brain. The way your cheeks were pushed high on your face and the way your blood gleamed beneath the skin. He adverted his gaze always. Tried to catch every waver and inflection in his voice (Most of the time in vain).

But how does he manage that when it was just you and him? No excuse to leave early or act like something more ‘important’ had caught his eye. Or act like he just zoned out. How can he do all of that while having you in his very neat, very organized room that didn’t have many things (if any) to distract him.

With every passing day he wishes trash would come down and crush him. Put him out of his misery. Dealing with you— who was very persistent in trying to get him to open up at least a little— and Jabber— who has laughed at him every damn day without fail at his plight— was gonna give him an aryersum. 

He could cancel. Send a short text apologizing and saying something urgent had come up and he couldn’t do it. No, that was way too obvious.  Oh! What about faking food poising… wouldn’t work.

He sat on the cobblestone steps of the school. Swarms of students filter out every exit of the school, yet you were nowhere in sight. His legs bounced in rhythm with his jack hammer of a heart. The suspense was killing him. The sun shined too bright. Too warm. It seared the back of his head.

His fingers gripped onto his thighs. Small crescents forming even through the fabric. God, where were you? He’d practically sprinted here. Pushed passed people with little regard for their glares and curses. egged on only by his mind's own insistence you would be here because you were perfect and you’d get the joy to laugh in his face. 

And once again he was wrong. Leaving him here. Sitting on the steps, having to bare looks full of disdain, his own embarrassment and autumn’s frayed leaves; that for some reason or another wouldn’t stop pelting him.

He couldn’t even blame you. Like an idiot, He’d  worked up himself up about it, As always his initial  frustration turned to adrenaline pumping through his veins and an instatiable need to win. 

Angirly, he pushed his school bag off his shoulders, placing it in front of him and digging through. pulling out the one of many textbooks he’d shoved into his bag that morning, and his notebook. 

He snapped open his glasses, pushing them up the slope of his nose. 

He followed his thumb across his own messy scribbles at the page. Over and over aimlessly to pass the time till the words blurred together into a meaningless blob. Even then he kept going.

Suddenly, something meaty smacks into his back. Jerking him forward, sending his glasses flying down the steps.

“Oh— hey what are you doing here so early?!” A cheery voice chimed. Your cheery voice. 

He tilted his head up to see you standing above him. Eyes wide like a doe’s with your lips slightly parted in shock.  He could feel his blood vessels swell and his cheeks get painted a pretty pink.

He looked back to his glasses. He lent forward, taking the arms between his indexes and thumbs. Scrutinizing the lenses.

His lips pressed together and  thinned out into a line. Forcing himself to a frown. “What am i doing? Waiting here like we agreed on. Though I guess that must’ve slipped your mind.” He sneered, shoving his glasses into their case and into his school bag. Again, it wasn’t our fault but he couldn’t help himself.

Your head droops to the side, confusion running its course. “Of course I know that dumbass, Why do you think I’m here?”

“Yer late.” 

A scowl plays on your lips. “What? No, school ended 5 minutes ago.”

Zanka craned his neck out. Returning the same scowl to you. “You said once school ends.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah. It takes five minutes to get down. Who the hell gets here on the dot.”

”Well first off, i do. And second—“ Zanka’s scowl quickly turned into something more teasing. “Guess that just means yer a major slowpoke.”

you swat the back of his head. “just shuddup already.” 

Zanka let go of a heavy breath. “What even took you so long—“ unintentionally his gaze flickered down your form. A small yet tragic mistake on his part. 

You were out of the frumpy uniform the academy made everyone wear. Replaced with a light pink and white vertically stripped baby doll top with a lacy sweetheart neckline and white shorts that stopped at the mid thigh that fit a little too snuggly  for him to tear his eyes away from the plumpness.

All the oxygen in Zanka’s body gets cut off instantly. brain dead at the sight. His mouth had found a mind of its own. Opening and shutting, over and over as he tried to string a sentence together. After a beat, Zanka’s head snapped away.

“Don’t tell me…that’s why ‘yer late?!” Zanka choked out weakly.

Your mouth gets pulled into a frown. Eyebrow twitching in irritation. “What about it?…C’mon say it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” He quickly corrected.

  “I just—“ He sneaks another glance towards you, absorbing the details of it all then snapping back to his shoes the moment blood starts to swell. 

 “why?” He hissed. 

Zanka’s questioning does nothing for you except for egging on your annoyance. “Okay well— how about I like it? Is that a good enough reason for you?” 

You huff. Stepping down from above, calf knocked him in the head as he did so. “Now c’mon, I wanna be home by 9.”

A high pitched yelp escaped Zanka. His hand reached up, pawing at his scalp to soothe. With an unintelligible grumble, Zanka  followed you out to the gate.

Zanka’s house wasn’t too far from the Academy. Nor was it particularly hard to find. It stuck out like a sore thumb next to the others in town both in aesthetic and stature. Furthermore it rested atop a small hill.  All in all, it was nearly impossible to miss.

The two of you walked side by side down winding, twisting roads. You slightly in front, quietly sulking. Something that should’ve relieved his overcrowded mind. I mean for the past week you’ve done nothing but drown on and on; But as you both cut through allies and strayed further and further from your starting point, it only piled onto the jumbled mess in his head.

Zanka’s steps widened. A magnetic, otherworldly force pulse him closer. Only rationalized by the thought of that it was the distance. Or maybe even the subtle sway of your hips that was distracting him…but that’s one more intrusive than conscious.The type of thought that pops up once in a while and is shoved to the back of his mind instantly.

Ultimately it did nothing, A couple minutes passed. About 75% of the way through the noise got overwhelming. White static crackled and popped insufferably.

Zanka sighed, his eyes urged him to look back but for once his will was stronger. “You’re sulking too loud.” He points out flatly. 

He can hear your steps slow at his words. But all you do is a small, indifferent hum of acknowledgment.

His tounge kisses his teeth. Silently he spun on his heels and gave into  himself to look at you. “Look—…I’m sorry.” 

He could see in his peripheral your eyes widened. He continued “You look…nice I was just irritated….Now will you talk to me damn it?” The words are like pulling teeth. 

A small, triumphant snicker forms on your lips. “Mmm ... .Y'know that was a half way decent apology.”

Your eyes shot to the opening  to a flea  market in the distance. The corners of your mouth curled even wider. “Wanna make it fully decent?”

Zanka’s eyelids drooped in exhaustion. “Hell no.”

Your arms crossed. 

Like he said days ago to Jabber. Prissy, bossy girl. 

***

Zanka watched as you climbed up the winding steps. 

The stairs were probably the least cared for parts of the house. Vines and foliage seeped through the tiny cracks, crushed beneath your black  soles as they slapped against the worn cobblestone with glee. 

While he, once again, lagged behind. Shackled down by the two shopping bags hung from his wrist, his school bag, and a bubbling, familiar feeling of anxiety; The type he’d grown somewhat accustomed to over the week but never failed to catch him off guard.

He’d mistakenly thought he’d coped with the whole idea of this. You being in his house. In his room. He’d thought about it endlessly, embarrassingly far into the night. Imagined you perched on his bed, scribbling into that light green note book of yours. He thought he was ready but the idea was reinforced 10 fold. Hammered into his mind with every smack of your shoe. The soft glow of your chubby cheeks.

It’s fine. It’s annoying. but it’s like if Jabber came over, sure it would be mortifying, hell it is mortifying. But it’s fine.

The words do very little to soothe. They get diluted in the white noise that is his mind.

And, Frustratingly, you were blissfully unaware of his plight. Your eyes shone in the afternoon's increasingly dim light. Eyes darting from statue to statue. From garden bed to garden bed.

”Woah…I knew you were loaded but damn!” You gasped. At least his head was a little lighter than it was earlier when you were sulky and not…you.

Zanka’s cheeks warmed at the wonder you showed, Quickly he ducked his head and kept his eyes trained at his feet. He shifted on the balls of his feet. “It’s really not that amazing…are you always so easily impressed?”

Your eyes strained in disbelief. “How many other people do you know have garden beds and statues in their lawn?” 

“There are tons.” He retorted.

You guffaw. “Really…name one.”

Zanka opens his mouth for  a long second before shutting it. “Okay you know what. I’m wealthy, fine. But I'm not ‘loaded’. And still— a garden in the lawn is not a super rare mythical thing. You’re just being childish.”

further driving home his point, You twisted around and stuck your tongue out. “Ugh why are you so serious all the time? I swear if I stuck a lump of coal up your ass in two weeks I’d have a diamond.”

Zanka scoffed. “Don’t be crude…And ‘m not overly serious, ‘yer just really childish.” Swiping away at the eroded pebbles beneath him.

”Y’know every time you open your fat mouth I’m reminded why I don’t talk to you.” You pout. 

He rolled his eyes. ”Please, you don’t talk to me either way. I could be the nicest guy around and you still wouldn’t talk to me.”

”Oh that’s not true and you know it.” You grumbled. Hopping onto the last step, then the porch.

Zanka’s legs quivered as he caught up with you. Nearly crumpling like paper beneath his own anxieties. By the time he met you at the door he could hardly stand up right. He dug into his pocket, pulling out his keys and fumbling with the lock.

If he takes into account the normal amount of It should take to get home, and the ridiculous detour he took to the market, it just now should be turning to four. Leaving him with Five hours. Five hours out of his twenty-four hour day. He could do that. Just keep his eyes on the papers. Easy peasy.

Zanka slumped against the door, pushing it open wide enough for you to slip past. 

You gave a small thanks as you took your shoes off and placed them beside the other five shoes in front of the doorway. You turn to him, eyes lighting up the way they always do when a question genuine or not strikes.

“Hey zan-zan—“

“Please don't call me that.” He grunted. Zanka leaned down, letting the bags tumble off his arm and onto the floor.

Your lips smack disapprovingly. “God you’re so boring. Zanka, whose shoes do those belong to?”

He hums, glancing back towards where you stood. Glancing by  your feet. Kyoka and goka. Shit. 

“Kyoka, goka, and my parents.”

You perked up. “oh! are they home? I should introduce myself, wouldn't take long right?”

The door closed with a loud bang. Zanka pried off his shoes, lying them down directly next to yours. With all the calmness he could muster up he hides behind a pillar and peaks inside.

If Kyoka and Goka were here… that may be worse than if Jabber was here. the comments and questions would haunt him for months. They  had already made their (terrifyingly accurate) suspicions of him clear He knew seeing him beat red with you would do nothing for his case.

Much to his pleasure the kitchen where they’d usually be sipping a cup of earl grey was vacant. 

He let out a sigh of relief. He turns back to you. “Maybe later. They’re not home often, especially not my parents. I mean— owning a town and hell gaurd is busy work. It’s better  we get started now, anyway. We don’t need any more distractions.” He smiled. The forced nature of it was obvious but he couldn’t care to correct it.

you slowly nod. “right your parents must be busy, takes work being rich.” you snark half heartedly.

Zanka just made a small noise in response. He rounded back to the front door, picking up your bags back up.

“You have the books and everything right? You didn't leave anything, did you?”

You groaned. Sat down your bag and pried it open, tilting so he could see give or take 6 different books and text books. 

Zanka’s eyes widened for a moment before he schooled his expression back into place. “and those aren’t multiple copies of the same one, or dupes of mine right?”

“…don’t make me throw this shoe at you.”

Zanka couldn’t help but let himself take pleasure in your frustration. A hearty laugh escapes him. “i’m joking, jeez don’t get all tight on me princess.” He mocked through giggles.

“Now c’mon. I don’t got all day, slowpoke.” Zanka turned on his heel and began up the stairs and you quickly stumbled after him.

Zanka’s room was exactly what someone would expect from his personality. Minimalistic. Clean. Soft blues on his bed spread with cream pillows that looked like soft clouds, and deep greens in the small plants that rested on a shelf above his stationary desk. Thick healthy stems and long thin leaves.

 The first thing Zanka did when he opened his door was sit the bags down and rush over to them. murmured curses leave him in soft breaths. He  had been so preoccupied with work (you) he’d hadn’t had a chance to give them proper loving.

“You can make yourself comfortable anywhere just— don’t mess anything up.” He dismissively waved.  Picking up a small watering can sprinkling their slightly patched leaves.

You followed him, leaning over his shoulder in amazement. “Woah…I didn’t know you had a green thumb Zanka!” You pressed closer against his back.

The contact sends a spark up his spine. He shot forward at the contact, nearly bumping into the desk. 

“uh— yeah i guess i do.” Zanka rasped. “S not  Green enough though if i do say so myself.” He attempted to shrug off. Ignoring the way his pulse sped up in his ear.

His muscles tensed  harder onto the handle of the pale. “been so busy, nearly forgot about these little guys.”

“Ah well I couldn't tell. If anything they look pretty healthy to me.” You hummed, finally moving back and looking at anything other than him.

You sat down your bag next to his and observed the rest of his room.  Particularly taking note of his bed and the slew of plushies that accumulated on the side.

You pick up an absurdly large snorlax plush. You grip him by the face and give him a few squishes. 

“y’know you didn’t strike me as a plushie guy.” you teased.

He whips his head around. the loud clang of  him setting down the watering bucket echoes around the room. “wha— hey put that down!l! And I’m not okay. It was a gift from my aunt.”

“Your aunt just happened to buy you what? Over thirty plushies?” You say with the tilt of your head. Your disbelief was clear. 

Zanka rolled his eyes. “Ain’t you the one that said my family was rich? You don’t  believe a rich woman could buy well over thirty plushies?”

You plopped down onto his bed. Lying atop them like a queen on a throne.

“It’s not that I don’t believe that she could, I just think it would be a little odd to buy it for a sixteen year old if he was completely uninterested in it.” 

Zanka made a small annoyed sound. “Get off.”

”You said make myself comfortable though?”

“Do you think that it’s gonna be comfortable or efficient working on the bed? We need to see the board and avoid poked holes.

you grumble. slowly sliding down, taking snorlax with you. “Like I said— major stick up the ass.”

He joined you on the soft carpet “Mind you, I’m letting you into my room. You’re a guest.”

“Okay well first of all, you brung me here. I didn’t ask. I was perfectly content with doing it downstairs.”

God why do you always have something to say. Zanka shakes his head. “Too loud.”

”No ones here?”

”It will be, trust.” He twisted around. Digging into the plastic bags pulling out the tri-fold, the markers, construction paper, lace, popsicles sticks, and environmental magazines. (The lace and the magazines under your insistence of course.)

You pulled out the text books and your personal notebook, flipping through page after page until you found a blank one.

  “Oh by the way— do you mind if I play something? It would be awkward if we just sat in silence right?”  You giggled. God why was your giggle so soft?

He averted his eyes from your own. “Yeah sure, fine if that’s what you want. I pick though, okay?”

You grumbled but don’t object. Instead you simply ask— “What genre?”

”its like— i dunno music? look it doesn’t matter, I’ll just play it real low then it’ll go on auto.” Zanka grabbed his phone and started flicking through his saved albums.

Too poppy. Too emo. Too sad. Too boring.

He eventually landed on Heartbeat, Heartbreak and threw it on.

You pause for a moment. Zanka watched with palatable anticipation as you Let the soft beats and the woman’s voice settle in your ears before you made an executive decision. His answer came in the form of an airy hum emerging from your throat.

“Alright, alright, alright! I’m ready!” 

“Finally.” He shook his head,  pulling out his own notebook flipping through to the same page he did earlier when he waited on the steps for you.

From then the two of you worked harder than you ever had before. You’d ended up corroborating most of the information you had to little to no problem. Your claim ended up being pretty straightforward. Over the last 100 years the grounds atmosphere had become more dastardly due to the increase of trash thrown from the sphere, the sudden uprise making it harder for plants to biologically adapt to the rotten soil. Or more easily— The ground’s toxic environment does affect society by desecrating the crops.

Combined, you both had an endless amount of data. Percentages, graphs, statements from public health. Much to both of your surprises the work wasn’t what spawned the most vitriol, You two got through that with…Slightly less back and forth than usual. zanka was completely enthralled with his work. Completely submerged. Murmuring nonsensically as his thumb dragged across lines read thousands of times. 

 You sat a few feet ahead and off to the side. Carefully placing down  golden and yellow construction paper onto the tri-folds boarders, Mimicking the desert-like biome that spanned outside of kamutari’s walls.  

His murmurs  annoyed you to no end. He could see it in the way your ear twitched in 2 second intervals. He’d never felt so relieved. Your disgust was better than your joy in the long run. Maybe you’d be too bothered at the end of it all and you would never speak to him again, ridding him of his horrible curse. Zanka fought a grin.

He spent minutes like this. Reading line after line even as his eyes drooped lower and lower. The outside world was distant, nearly unreachable. Nearly. Your voice pierced through him in an obnoxious groan.

“You think real loud Y’know that?” You commented while gluing the final piece down where a block of text was sure to be.

Zanka’s eyes fought to look up at you but he wouldn’t allow it. He simply adjusted his glasses. “We’re missing something. We have to be…”

You shook your head. “I checked earlier. We have everything there is to know.”  Zanka heard you shift a few inches. In his peripheral, he could see your hand patting the newly found space next to you.  “Why don’t you help me, hm? ‘Oughta be better than reading the same tired lines.”

Damn it.  Don’t look up. don’t. look. up. Zanka kept his eyes trained on the page. “Just…give me a few minutes, okay. I feel it.”

You called his name. Firm and commanding. He gives up, meeting your unwavering glare. “Just give me five minutes…Please?”

He let out a low huff. Weak. That’s truly what he was. “Damn…bossy much aren’t you?” He snarked, wordlessly he scooted next to you. Closely scrutinizing everything done so far.  The placements  were far from sloppy. not a hint of glue peaking out from beneath  the appliques, each one placed perfectly.  Everything was written in cursive with a dark, inky navy blue.

You noticed his hesitance instantly. He could sense the warm smile that formed on your lips, meant to comfort but did the exact opposite. “Oh don't sulk!  it’s really simple, I hand you one and all you gotta do is place it where I sketched it out.”

And you were right. It shouldn’t have taken very long, thirty minutes max. But thirty somehow transformed into 50, and 50 into 90. you both stood over the tri-fold that you had slumped against the wall.  Zanka could feel your stare, watching every one of his shaky  placements while you did yours seamlessly without even looking.

”Put it more to the right.” You commanded. 

Zanka could feel a vein begin to bulge out of his temple. “You said that last time.”

“It’s still off.”

 He grumbled at your words. He followed your instructions. Peeling the magazine image and replacing it a bit further while His other hand reached for a napkin, wiping the glue off quickly. But you had something to say about that too.

”Don’t scrub too hard you’re gonna mess up the paint job.” You chastised before turning your head back to your side. He could feel another vein growing.

The whole hour and a half had been like this. Sure, he could just go back to thumbing through the pages but his pride kept his feet planted. At the same time he could feel himself go crazy every time you spoke ( even if it was confirmation he wasn’t too far gone.) He couldn’t help but make a comment.

”Why don’t you do it then since you got your degree and know everything…” Zanka murmured under his breath.

Your head twisted around so fast he almost heard it snap. “What was that?” 

This was it. He could get rid of this damned thing, you’d hate him, he’d hate you. So, Zanka repeated it louder. “Why don’t you do it yourself? I think it’s ironic im doing it for you, since you’re so perfect and you know everything. Maybe you really are  just an over zealous annoyance…”

Zanka waited for your usual outburst. The back and forth. But nothing happened. Just a heavy silence. He knew he shouldn’t have, he could’ve kept his eyes on the board and he would get over this. But his eyes drags up and meets yours once more; the regret is instant.

Your body had locked up. Never in all the months you had argued and fought have you ever looked so hurt at something he said, it definitely  wasn’t the worst thing he said so why…? Why did you look so hurt? Why did he feel so bad?

”You know what, I don’t get you Zanka. One moment you treat me like a friend, you invite me over and the next moment you act like you can’t stand me.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Huh? Where's this coming from?—“

The corner of your mouth turn into a frown. “How do you feel about me? Every time you make a comment do you actually think that about me or are you joking?”

Zanka’s mouth flopped open and shut uselessly. He wanted to say he was serious. That he hated every moment spent together and he only tolerated you  because he had to. But every time he tried he couldn’t. He couldn’t get it out. Over a thousand things swirled in his mind but not one could manage.

All he could manage is a measly “It’s not…it’s not…I didn’t mean it like that.”

”it’s not like that?” You guffawed. Almost mocking. “So what Did you mean then? Since you didn’t mean  to call me a prissy, over zealous, pain in the ass?” 

”I didn’t…I didn’t say all of that…” He stumbled slowly. god this was embarrassing. He wished a hole would open up beneath him, swallow him and everything else. He felt like a little kid again. Cornered and alone. He swallowed. 

“I mean you— I did think you were annoying at first…” Zanka could feel his whole body rolling to a fever. His hand twitched at his sides. Your eyes were locked onto his, they were like black holes the way they trapped him and sucked him in. 

You let the board drop with a thud. Slowly you got closer, the back of Zanka’s knees hit his bed frame as you get closer and closer. His mouth, mind and heart were all completely different matters. Different entities entirely.

”But—I think that of almost everyone! That doesn’t mean I hate you, I just— it’s complicated…” 

You tilted your head to the side. “What the hell does that mean?”

And then  his heart got to his mouth first.  “I like you okay!” The words come out way too loud. Too bold. As the words reached his ears all the color in his skin drained to a ghost white.  

Everything comes to a screeching halt. It shocked you enough to where the fire and heat  in your pupils are snuffed out to a small  flame.  As the words registered, a small hue shift grows beneath the skin. 

“Wha..?” You questioned breathlessly.

”I—I’ve grown to…like you around me okay?” No. No. No. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He never felt so weak. His whole life he’d been told not to lead with his heart but look at him now… 

“What are you talking about?” You asked.  looked in his eyes intensely, working over time for an explanation.

“I Your presence isn’t…horribly annoying like I thought it was and if we…oh god forbid…had another project I wouldn’t be upset that we have to hang out.”

Idiot. Fucking idiot.

You reminded him of this when you reached around and smacked him in the head. Zanka’s hands flew above him in a futile attempt to defend himself.

”Ow— shit I’m sorry! I said I was sorry!” Your hits just get more brutal and harrowing. Finally sending him onto his bed. 

“You’re such a dick did you know that? You did all of this because you couldn’t say you wanted to be friends?”

Zanka blinked. “Friends…?”

Your lips pursed as you thought over his words for a long moment. ”Isn’t that what you’re saying…you wanna be friends…?”

He couldn’t even reject the notion, he just gritted his teeth and let his head loll to the side for a minute. “That’s not…I’m not a charity case, I don't need friends.”

You lowered the pillow and with a sigh you plopped down on the bed next to him.  “You’re so emo Y’know that?”

Zanka’s  eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “What?”

”You’re always acting like everyone hates you  and you’re a lone wolf. You’re so obsessed with yourself you can’t even see when someone seriously likes you?”

He looks back towards you. Your eyes didn’t hold malice. No traps nor tricks. They were soft, vulnerable. Zanka softened as well but kept quiet. 

“You know…” You began. “I had a good time today. I really wouldn’t mind hanging out with you more… I really wanna be your friend….you don’t have to be mine if you really don’t want to, but I would like that.”

His lip part. His chest ached. He hated this. He hated you and the way you messed with his head.  He hated even more how he couldn’t say no to you. His throat bobbed, and slowly he nodded.

Your eyes lit up. “Huh? Seriously?” 

Zanka’s cheeks went all rosy. He looked away. “Tch…you don’t need me to repeat myself, do you?”

Suddenly you pulled him into a hug. Zanka found himself slowly melting into you with a soft sigh. He closed his eyes. Letting himself just be before opening again and looking at the discarded project.

”…you did really well on the project by the way…you really do have an eye for aesthetics.”

You looked up from the crook of Zanka's neck. “Hey, you helped a lot too. Thanks by the way, I know I was a little harsh.”

He sighed ”It’s fine, we’ll call it even.”

Three things had been solidified that night. 

One:He was an idiot. He had every opportunity to escape. To rid himself of this sickness  called ‘A crush’ and he didn’t.

two:  He was exactly where he  wanted to be (he honestly didn’t know if that scared him or not)

three: There really was a thin line between love and hate.

A/n: They ended up with an A+ with extra credit!!!

Also sorry for slow updates i have like three tests i need to study for plus finals😭 we’re gonna get back on track soon tho trustttt

A few minutes had passed since Zanka begrudgingly left the warmth of you and trudged down the hall to meet enjin for whatever he needed. Leaving you with a little less than baffled beet faced Rudo. his gaze glued to the wooden floor, doing everything in his power to avoid your gaze. From analyzing every ridge and curve carved into the floor, to shifting heel from heel in an annoying rhythm. All out of sheer embarsement.

You shift yourself. Zanka’s mattress dips and squeaks beneath you, breaking the dense silence in the room. nearly enveloping you inside plush cotton in the process. You pull his covers over yourself from where they formerly pooled at your hips.

“You know…” You start, Rudo’s gaze snaps up with the quickness of a frightened feral cat in an alley at the sound. “You can look at me, it’s not like I’m naked or anything.” You continue with a lightness.

Rudo’s head slowly rises “sorry, sorry i just— “ Rudo stumbles awkwardly A corner of your mouth twitches in amusement. Once then twice before breaking out into a snicker. “Hey hey— no worries. If anything it was our fault, no harm no foul on either end. ‘Kay?”

Rudo’s eyes widen slightly before shaking his head and breaking out into something that should be a smile except it was a little too uncanny in the way that It was way too hard, and definitely forced. The sight almost makes you jerk away from him on instinct. Thankfully, due to Rudo’s lack of reaction you can tell he didn’t notice. (If he did you weren’t sure you could live with yourself.)

A few seconds of silence befell the two of you before Rudo asks quietly, almost muttering “So you and Zanka are…dating…?” Million dollar quesition.

You nod and Rudo lets out a soft ‘Huh’. His head tilting back against the wall as gears turned in his head. Processing the last 15ish minutes. as you watch him you see his face go from awe to furrowed brows and a grimace.

“So…I could’ve avoided all of that?…if someone just told me?” He asks with a trace of bitterness.

“well— first of all. No one was supposed to know. Not you, Riyo,definitely not enjin nor anyone else around here.”

“Why are you hiding it? would’ve saved me from being traumatized” He murmured, his arms folding over one another.

The words make you bristle and causes your stomach to tighten in on its self. Hiding. You weren’t hiding necessarily, you weren’t some big secret or anything like that. You just decided not to be forward about it for the meanwhile. That wasn’t the same thing as hiding you told yourself.

“We’re not— we’re not hiding it..” You sigh. Yet and still Rudo pressed forward.

“I can’t tell anyone and you haven’t told anyone yourself, what else do you call it?” He scoffed.

“Waiting.” You correct.

“And maybe you should learn how to knock, so you don’t get traumatized hm?” you add with a sing songy tone.

Rudo scoffs at that one, muttering something about how gross the two of you were before turning for the door.

Right before he makes his way you call out for him once more. His head turns, finally back to his old self. Attitude and all. You raise your hand, pressing your index to your thumb a few millimeters away from your lips and dragging two fingers over top as if you were zipping up something. Your wrist snaps, putting the invisible key at an angle and flicking your wrist to discard.

“Not a word” You warn. Rudo nods before leaving, slamming the door behind him.

That probably should’ve been the end of it. Rudo swearing himself to secrecy to both you and Zanka. With all of you moving on, the whole situation in a few days time being a faded memory. But nothing ever quite works that way does it? The next following days between you, Zanka and Rudo were tense to say the least.

Three days had passed. Every mission more exhausting than the last, leaving everyone hungier and restless. And you with far less time to sneak around.

You couldn’t even steal him into a supply closet for a few pecks anymore. Nor could you flirt as overtly. Every waking moment was spent in Enjin’s cramped little jeep where no one had nothing else to do but mind everyone else or sleep off the oppressive summers heat.

The kitchen bustled with the smell of pork and sausage and eggs frying on the stove, the rest of the team While the laughing and joking like hyenas. All except for Rudo, whose gaze which was as always trained on you two as you took your pickings of food.

“Eisha really did a good job on this.” You hum, face stuffed full.

“uh huh.” Zanka murmured, His eyes surveying through the crowd of cleaners as he swallowed a piece of his scrambled eggs.

“It’s full, it’s hearty, seasoned.” you continue on, every passing second your words harder to hear from the way you scarfed everything down.

Zanka blinked a few times before properly reregistering the sight. “Hey, chew with your mouth closed will ya?” he huffs. Frustration bleeding into his tone, though it’s clear it’s not directed at you.

You continue talking, picking up a myriad of foods and sauces and butter. Zanka nods, though you can tell he’s only half way listening from the way his gaze keeps lingering out into the sea of other cleaners.

“hey…you’re not listening to me at all are you?” You pout softly, craning your head to look in the same direction.

Eisha, Riyo, there goes Guita too, Tamsy, Bro and dear, Gris, Follo, and—

Rudo. Whose eyes pinned directly where you and Zanka stood. Crimson red eyes piercing through your skull, without shame.

The sight makes your stomach sink in on itself and twist in every way except for natural. You grimace and lean into Zanka.

“…What’s his problem?” you whisper yell, pulling him slightly closer to you. The corner of zanka’s mouth pulls into a frown.

“no clue…” Zanka freezes for a moments before trying to flinch at him as if rudo could even see him from this distance. To which you just stare at him from the corner of your eye.

“He can’t even see you.”

He snaps his head away with a soft scowl as you grow an obnoxious grin.

He continues on in line, collecting food. All while muttering something about how Rudo ‘got the message’. as he turns you can see a faint red hue where his ears should be under the messy clumps of blonde, only widening your grin and making your cheeks sting.

You eventually make your way to the rest of team, even with both of your plates half eaten. (Zanka’s from you picking off his plate when he was busy having a staring contest with Rudo.) You settle inbetween Riyo and Zanka; and zanka between yourself and Rudo.

Rudo’s gaze is averted to his pile of omelette and bread. Nibbling away like a raccoon in the night. Every now and again, you would see Zanka glancing at Rudo as if he was trying to catch him on something.

As breakfast moved along you had almost forgotten the feeling of Rudo’s eyes as you half listened to Riyou’s complaints.

“Why do we have to work?” Riyo whined, a mini fan in hand on max sending strands of licorice colored locks flying.

“I mean— it’s over a thousand degrees outside! hell i’m sure that even the hell gaurd gets a break.” She slumped in her seat as she took a bite of her garlic bread.

Enjin grimaced at the mention of work. He takes a drag of his cigarette. watching the red embers glow and smoke rise and fall out the window he was leaned against.

“problem is there’s too many jobs. We need all the hands we can get to clear ‘em all. So rain or shine, heatwave or drought, we gotta work.” The words roll off his tongue half heartedly. Words meant to motivate lacked and real conviction, nor made any sense coming from enjin of all people.

Riyo rolls her eyes at that, leaning back with a smirk. “Like you do work in the first place.“

Suddenly she turns to you and Zanka. “You agree too right? We deserve a break!”

You let out a soft hum and you nod rapidly. Your mind drags back to three days ago. The memory of his breath tickling your neck as he pressed deep kisses into your skin was still fresh. You feel your cheeks warm at the thought of getting the chance to finish that.

“Ain’t this against child labor laws?” you added “you gotta give us something!”

Enjin’s head reeled back. “Hey hey! don’t try this around on me! ya acting like i have a choice!”

“you had a choice all the other times.” Zanka chimed.

“Okay well— semiu’s gonna do me in if i don’t pitch in so we have to. Speaking of which— we have a job down town to do.”

Enjin’s words was followed by a loud, bellowing chorus of groans.

“look— I don’t wanna either but that’s just how the cookie crumbles, Kay? We’ll be out in 30 minutes”

You lean back in your seat with a small huff. “Unbelievable—“ As the words leave your mouth and you turn to Zanka you see both him and Rudo staring at each other. Complete silence between the two and not a single muscle being moved other than the twitch of Zanka’s split brows.

“Zanka…” You coo. No response. So, you try again a little louder before tugging on him.

“Zanka.” He hums

“Let’s go?”

“Sorry.” He gets up, pulling his sleeves back down to where they warmed him up the most and leaves with you. Just as you two are at the corridor, he looks back and gives Rudo one final look.

“There is no way you’re beefing with a literal fourteen year old…” You sigh, tugging him forward down the hall.

***

Zanka’s room was always remarkably neat. His bed folded perfectly, all corners folded and pillows stacked the way it would be in the clinic a few halls down. Freshly swept floors because the dust always made his nose twitch. The cleaner making his room smell faintly of Lennon, fresh laundry and a distinct flavor of inscence that was unmistakably him.

It was really no wonder you spent most of your time in there.

You sat perched atop zanka’s desk, legs swingy idly to the sharp screeches of lady as he sharpened her. Many of your days before the sudden hoard of jobs were spent like this. The quiet intimacy of his room made you feel softer. Closer.

today wasn’t one of those days. You couldn’t bring yourself to relax, or to simply be. Discontent and unrest was set in your soul and zanka— whose silence was plagued with something you couldn’t put a finger on—wasn’t any help.

A low groan rips through the silence “Kay…what’s up?”

“Hah?”

With a huff you hop off his desk with a rattle. leaving pens and highlighters scurrying down polished wood in distress to plop down beside him with a soft bounce.

“You know what I mean.” You press

Zanka physically tenses up at the proximity. “Nope. No clue” He says, clutching lady closer to his chest like a saving grace. Though it does nothing to stop you from getting closer.

“Why are you acting so weird about Rudo?”

His gaze quickly darts around the room as his lips press together tighter. “ ‘m not” he insists in vein.

You roll your eyes. “Oh okay— so can pigs fly too right?”

He bares his teeth at you in a soft scowl, devoid of any real disdain towards you. “‘Ya calling me a liar?

“I mean—….If the shoe fits…” You press closer, the two of you nearly chest to chest.

“You little—“ The words are cut off with a sudden gasp for air as you fling yourself on top of him. Overcome by your weight pressed against him so hard the only thing he could manage were small chocked noises and gasps.

“Get off me…” he forces out, shuffling beneath you ever so uselessly.

“Or what?” You snicker, not even considering letting him up. you watch as his mouth twitches, thoughts racing through head. Searching hard for his next excuse or empty threat.

Sadly all he could show for his efforts was a small grunt.

“C’mon just tell me! I swear, right hand to the sphere that I won’t tease ya ‘bout it” You say, words laced with a little too much excitement.

As his lips part to respond they are just as quickly seized by your own. The sudden warmth striking him with the swift boldness of thunder and leaving him just as quickly. Leaving his lips just as twitchy as his palms.

“…you don’t ever play fair now do you?” Zanka grumbles, his body finally relenting and settling into yours.

“You tell me and I swear I’ll give you a kiss.” You sing in a low hum. His lips part once more but quickly snaps back shut. You watch as his eyes roam across the hills and valleys of your face with a quiet intensity before sighing.

His head lolls back against the bed, sucking on his bottom lip before muttering, so low it’s barely auditable. “He’s watching me”

“…Huh?” You blink.

“Rudo.”

A moment passed. A moment was all you could hold yourself to before bursting out into laughter.

“I knew it—“ He snapped.

“Hey hey hey— I’m not judging, just a little caught off guard.”You giggled out. Your upper body rose off of his torso as you tried to settle down. Zanka takes the opportunity to shove you softly down beside him.

“i shoulda’ known better than to say anything..” he sighed, looking away from your convulsing figure in shame of his own idiocy to trust you with anything serious.

You ran a hand across your face muffling your own obscenities. “No no no— just gimme a minute won’t ‘cha?”

“It’s really not that funny…”

“No—you’re right it’s not…”

“Then what are you still giggling for? …. Bet lady wouldn’t treat me like this…”

You seriously had half the mind to tease the living hell out of him but restrain yourself. You take a breath, giggles and hick ups still bubbling and raising from the depths of your chest; in tandem with your rise off his bed.

Zanka stares at you, lips poked out in a quiet sulk as you rhythmically pace around the room. Once, then twice. Three, then four. Then with one deep exhale you found yourself back beside him.

“So you think Rudo is..”

Zanka’s eyes flicker away for a moment and then confesses—because he’s an absolute imbecile for you— that

“I think he’s watching us.”

“….care to explain that one a little further?”

His canines tug on the bottom of his lip before answering. “Don’t really know how…it’s pretty straight forward isn’t it? He keeps looking at the both of us all weird.”

You crane your neck to the side in careful consideration of the past 48 hours. You weren’t a complete air head. You had noticed Rudo’s eyes lingering on the two of you longer than what was comfortable. But was he really…?

Your head falls back down to earth to meet the gaze of your boyfriend who seemed to be glued upon you.

“Why would he do that though…i mean— we didn’t traumatize him that bad did we? Sure he’s seen and heard much cruder than enjin”

Despite Zanka and his own commitment to sulk he couldn’t help a small smile breaking through. “C’mon… Enjin has at least a little more common sense than that.”

You snicker incredulously. “You’re not trying to insinuate enjin out of all people has more sense than me and you?”

He gives you a little look before continuing. “Look— i dunno why he’s looking but it’s pissing me off.”

Your lips purse for a minute. Your gaze flickers up to little fan in the center of the room above. Shaking with a little too much vigor for your liking. You don’t think that maybe that… we’re just on edge because of the whole getting caught thing?”

His lips press into a thin line in consideration. “yeah…” he eventually relinquishes, setting lady to the side and falling back onto his mattress with a soft bounce. You’re quick to join him.

“we’re getting sloppy…”he whispered.

“might be easier to confess at this point” the words slip from your tounge before you can catch yourself.

a silence befell the both of you.

You feel your gut sink to your ass.

You can feel him scrutinize you. Every muscle in your face, watching as your expression contort and twitch as you attempt to stomach down buzzing nerves.

It wasn’t something you hadn’t thought of before. Especially as of recent. I mean sure— There was a thrill you could only get from sneaking about into cramped closets, stealing kisses and touches that pricked your skin like sparks of fire. Sadly, thrill didn’t quite knock the effort and stress it took to get there. But you never said it out loud.

Zanka didn’t say anything for what felt like forever. You can feel him scrutinize you. Every muscle in your face, watching as your expression contort and twitch as you attempt to stomach down buzzing nerves.

“Feels like that yeah…” he admits quietly, shifting ever so slightly closer to you.

God— you almost lurch at his words as they do nothing but cause your nerves to get even more violent in their buzzing. Knocking and shoving each other Into the thin lining of your gut. You almost feel sick at all the thoughts stirring up.

*Would he want to go public? Walk down the street hand in hand? I like totally know it goes against our whole agreement of ‘secrecy’ but I would really like that.* sticks out particular.

but you’re sure not to let that slip. Instead you continue with a softer, much less intense, “maybe it’s a sign” 

but even then you still regret the words. It was times like these you thought it was better to slice your tounge out.

You see his shoulders tense up slightly. shit, wrong thing to say…

“only time will tell…” he murmured, shifting in place. 

You can feel the air change around you. It was the type of pressure that makes you feel like you were being close in on.

“you know i wouldn’t—“ He started

“I mean— now wouldn’t be a good time would it? considering that we’re all busy.” you quick stammer out before he could finish. You couldn’t see him, your eyes were glued to your feet as they loomed off the bed. 

the rhythmic stutter of his foot suddenly stops. His heel grinds into the floor as he shifts away.

Zanka’s mouth opens to respond but you’re quicker. “Anywho— we can’t fight thinking about Rudo’s odd little habits, whatever it is i’m sure it’ll pass.” 

Zanka peers up at you for a moment before smiling. — god you hope that meant he’s disregarding that whole conversation— 

“you’re right…” he hums. shoulders slumping ever so slightly but not completely.

“Aren’t I always?” you cheese.

“50/50”

“60/40” you argue.

“if you say so…”

“you’re insufferable” you poke. he turns to face you and remedies this with a soft kiss on the cheek that makes your stomach flip.

“you’re one to talk…”

You search around the room briefly for a clock, eventually landing on the one on his desk. only 10 minutes till departure.

You slither over to him, shoulder to shoulder as you place small pecks behind his ear. 

“we just gotta lay low alright? It’ll pass just like this heat will” You exhale.

Zanka slowly nods, leaning into your touch. “lay low…” he repeats lowly. Tasting the words.

“but you’re kissing me?” he snickers

 you can see the intensity slipping from his body. gradually succumbing under the trail of heat your lips left on icy skin.

“we still have…7 minutes left now..plus enjind always late so if you round up that’s maybe 14 minutes?” You punctuate with another kiss. 

He chuckles, full and bright. And just warm enough to make your stomach stirr up again. 

“You’re not even in uniform.” He points out after flicking over you.

“That’s enough time to kiss you and get dressed and you know it.”

“oh but i know you and i know you’re gonna get all wrapped up in it and then i blink and Riyo is pounding on the door.”

You open your mouth for a retort but it quickly snaps shut.

“plus, he continued. I don’t know if kissing me in my room exactly qualifies as ‘laying low.”

“Smartass.”You huff.

He presses another kiss, this time to your temple. “Also, someone has to hold you to your word.”

“Okay well…my word is that we’ll lay low after I leave.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”You press into the crook of his neck.

It wasn’t a surprise to neither of you when 20 something minutes later you’re scrambling back to your room struggling to put your uniform on.

***

You limp down the hallway. Curse after curse leaving you as you slam your heel down on the floor to push your foot in. Every step a painful reminder to stop by August’s room for a new pair. But, you can’t help but feel that it’s at least slightly warranted considering your very brief conversation. Seriously what the hell was your deal back there?

You had agreed to keep everything a secret. It was for the better. Plus it was fun, sneaking around and all. So Why would it even pop up?

‘Lay low’. The phrase repeats in your head over and over like a mantra. You run your hands over your face. the heels of your palms dig into your eyelids and wipe away the crust. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid. Lay low. Leave it up to you to self sabotage.

The fluorescents that illuminated above you like the heavens did nothing to ease your frustration either.

It was fine. You’re fine. It would pass like the summer heat, the absolute bullshit you just called an agreement would subside. It’ll become fun again. So why was your heart still heavy at the idea of it?

It doesn’t matter. It’s— 

The light flickers above you. you freeze momentarily. 

HQ was old, perhaps older than Corvus and Gris combined. A light flickering was nothing out of the ordinary you reminded yourself. You take a few more steps down the hall. Then another light. this time behind you.

Your head whips around as unease filters in. Your hand wraps around your vital instrument. you swear you can feel your veins bulge and pop against your skin. Your eyes crinkle up into folds as you strain against the light down the hall. 

At the end of the hall, you see a stout tuff of salt and pepper hair sticking out from around the corner. A Ruby eye gleams from beneath in the pale light. 

“….Rudo…?” You call out. Echoes caring the message farther than it would have otherwise. Despite this there’s no movement.

“Rudo!..” You try again. No response. You inch closer.

unsheathing (Insert here later). You snag a few breaths from the world and with an exhale your mind steadies. slow and steady.

“Vital instrument:—“  

A sudden gust of wind blast through you, The words dying in your throat upon impact and Sending you stumbling into the wall. 

your eyes dart around the empty hall. Straining your eyes even further to no avail. No  trace of the figure around anywhere, no hairs, no footsteps, nothing.

“What the hell…” Your mind could hardly comprehend it. There were too many variables, too many things plaguing your mind. 

 That wasn’t rudo…was it?  I mean what other white haired cleaner was there?

 Fuck what if you traumatized him so bad he went crazy?

 You wilt at the thought. I mean it’s silly but anything’s possible right? He did seem pretty disturbed when he discovered you two…Not that you blame him but there’s no way that alone drove him crazy.. Maybe It was rat?

Against your better judgement, You crept towards the corner the figure had originally left. Scrutinizing the area over and over for any trace. However all you see is gray dust near the floor in clumps, wood and—

Candy?

You kneel down and take the brightly colored foil between your fingers and unravel it. Completely empty. You bring it up to your nose and the faint smell of strawberry hits you. You lift your gaze and look a head just to find a huge pile.

*What are you doing? This is how people die in horror movies..* Your left brain chastises. But your body is already creeping forward.

A tiny hill had been formed that contained maybe a hundred half eaten candies and empty wrappers. The sight makes you cringe. For maybe half a second you consider digging through it but quickly decide against it.

*What the fuck.*

It was right about now you wished you bit your tongue when talking to Zanka. It was too much. *Too* much. Too much to think about, too much to even begin to wrap your head around.

Before you can even get knee deep in the pool of thoughts swirling around in your head, the sound of Riyo’s voice calling your name guides you back out.

“c’mon(reader)! Enjin’s getting all pissy!”

You bite the inside of your cheek before rising to your feet and sprinting off towards Riyou. It wasn’t a big deal, It was probably just a coincidence. Or maybe a trick of the eyes.  you reason. But even as you step into the pale morning light, where the rest of the team greeted you, you can’t help but ask—

“hey have any of you seen Rudo?”

Gris was the first to perk up, “Yeah he is… he trails off, gaze flickering around the small group for the stout kid. “Swear he was just here…” He grumbled

Follo came second, swiveling his head back and forth.

“There!” You look over your shoulder to see Rudo jogging up with a pack of sweets he close to his chest. As he gets closer the image of bag begins to look more and more like those little wrappers you found a few short minutes ago.

“Good, thought we lost ya there kid!” Gris grinned, reaching over to pat him on the back.

“So we’re set then?” Enjin hollered from the front seat. Gris’ took a double take, muttering numbers under his breath.

“Yep, time to get this show on the road!” He concluded with the booming sound of his hands clasping together. As Gris rounded the front the rest of you barreled into the back.

Halfway you find your steps slowing. Your gaze pulled back to Zanka’s neck like magnets. searching for any trace of the kisses you had marked his jaw and neck with. When you have nothing to show for it, you feel a sharp, very unwelcome pang in your chest. Your tongue swipes over your bottom lip as you remember your words.

Lay low. It’s not personal or anything like that. You remind yourself. But your eyes stay glued on that exact spot. Your heart swells at the memory of his pulse between your teeth. Almost completely stopping in your tracks as the feeling sinks in.

Was it bad you wanted to do more? Was it bad you wanted to see yourself on him? For him to walk around with pretty pink lipgloss shining in the fluorescents across his face? I mean even if you were public it wouldn’t change anything. He wasn’t that type of person. But still…

in the midst of your thoughts your body suddenly goes ridged. It was a feeling a kin to a spider making its way across your spine. Out of the corner of your eye you see a pair of big red bug eyes lazered focused between you and the dual toned blonde and brunette.

After a few seconds he notices and instead of looking away— which is what most normal people would do— he holds your gaze. That feeling of spiders crawling up your spine only multiplies.

Zanka glanced back over his shoulder. “Hey reader what’s the hold—“ His words trail off as his line of sight descended.

Not a word spoken between you three.

It was at that moment when it hit you that following the terms of ‘lay low’ were gonna be a hell of a lot harder than you initially thought. Further proven by takeoff.

***

The jeep bounced and shook violently down hot asphalt roads.The little AC in enjin’s jeep working overtime to support the needs of everyone in the car. 

Enjin and gris were in the front, talking about something entirely incoherent and irrelevant to you. Riyou slumped against dingy cream car seats. Her head lolled back as she absorbed music that you could only faintly hear under the chorus of loud, bellowing laughter— how enjin and Gris still had energy despite the grueling days was a mystery to you. 

Maybe the high spirts were due to the job assigned that was supposedly simple.

Your brain was too rattled to hear everything properly but what you did hear was that essentially, a relatively small trash beast had been spotted nearby a village a little outside of the east ward that needed to be stopped before it became more of a pain.

Relatively simple if you had a clear Mind, which you didn’t. Every time enjin made a sharp turn and jerked you around a new topic would plague your mind. Zanka, Rudo, Zanka, Rudo, Zanka, Rudo, Zanka. Back and forth, back and forth.

Every prolonged second made you more and more restless. you only had sat here for 20 minutes and if you weren’t having doubts about your own bet, you certainly were now.

You surveyed the lot once more as your hand carefully made its way over to Zanka’s, overtaking his. 

Zanka tenses up at the sudden warmth in his palm— he was constantly cold. Maybe the coldest person you’ve ever met. You were described as the warmest person  you’d ever met. The contrast between your blood always managed to make you both feel like sparks were being left on the other’s skin. 

It was also the only time you could get his composure to break for more than 5 seconds.

Your thumb runs over his palm with the nimbleness and ease of snow pricking and skin. Electricity runs through your blood at the touch. god you were certain there was no other heaven around. Not one comparable anyway. A part of you wonders—Would it be selfish of you to want this all the time? Even at the most mundane moments?

His eyes draw back yours like magnets. “Thought we were keeping it lowkey? y’know to avoid what happened last time?” he said in a strangled little whisper

“yeah but no one’s paying any attention. Enjin’s blabbing, Riyou doesn’t care and—“

“What about stalker guy?” He points to Rudo, who was scarfing down a plethora of candies down his throat.

“Hey don’t point that’s rude!” You hufff and roll your eyes. “Besides, it’s just a coincidence— it’s harmless.”

Zanka makes a low rumbling noise in his chest. “Coincidence.”

He lets out a sigh “Don’t come crying when we get caught”. He mumbles half heartedly. his muscles soften against your touch.

your head sways to the side to lay on his shoulder. “Y’know I won’t.”

At his discretion he doesn’t say anything more. Instead he lets you draw little shapes into his hand wordlessly. As minutes pass you feel his hands warm in yours. You’d almost forgotten how it felt to feel this close to him. This intimate. Any intimacy was fleeting and full of adrenaline. There was never a moment to slow, at least not now a days.

But now, you held that opportunity in your palms. It was like he and you were the only ones who truly mattered. You can feel his pulse pumping, he’s alive. He’s here with you. And he feels wonderful against you. You were certain of it. This was eternal bliss. You’re sure you could live the rest of your life like this, hell— you were sure you could die like this.

Zanka’s gaze is locked onto your finger. Watching it do its gentle ministrations against his skin.

“Hey.” Zanka began slowly and low.

“about what you said earlier…the whole coming forth thing—“

Your finger pauses, but you don’t dare to make eye contact. You just watch his palm. Your mouth moves faster than your own thoughts “don’t worry about that, I didn’t really mean anything by it Y’know?”

He doesn’t say anything for a while. You could imagine the way he attempted to dissect your expression, lips pressed into a thin line as he thought up what to say next.

“Right…well, I was thinking about it and…maybe it’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

You can feel your hands become soggy and sweat condensate at the back of your neck as soon as the words hit your ears. You shouldn’t feel as much pressure as you do. I mean— it really wasn’t a big deal, you’ve thought about it, it was always going to happen. Hell a part of you even wanted it. So why did your hands sweat and why did your ears get so hot?

“What do ya mean?” You try your hardest to keep your voice steady.

“I mean if Rudo of all people found out then…”

“I mean maybe but—“ the words come out half choked, Partially due to your own body failing you in ways it never had before and partially by enjins driving. One sharp turn sends you flying into Zanka.

“Damn it!” He shrieks, quickly grabbing a hold of you and pulling you close enough to his chest to where you can feel the soft thumping in his chest. And you were sure he could hear yours too.

“Enjin!” You could hear Gris shout from the front.

“Shit— It just appeared there, not my fault!” Enjin defended.

While the jeep might have settled your heart certainly didn’t. The day was already too much, you could feel your brain increasingly pounding harder against your skull. You slowly lifted your gaze to meet zanka’s. But, his were glued away from you as the redness of his ears spread and infected the rest of his face.

His grip around your waist was tighter than it had been in the past. The world slowed down as his fingers flexed around the slope. His fingers, that you were sure were made of ice at this point, brought you ever loving peace.

You found yourself wanting to lean in, melt the coldness of him with the heat of your body. And you wanted to do it all the time, with no questions asked, everywhere.

That’s stupid. The more logical side of you chastises. You have to remain at least professional. Plus there’s no way you wouldn’t be spied on just for shits and giggles.

The thought is backed up by the feeling of eyes on you. So, despite how badly you wanted to, havin him wrapped around you or vice versa was virtually impossible.

Against all your body wants or needs, You slowly slip from his grasp. Coaxing him off you with a little too much tenderness for somebody who told everyone who asked that you ‘didn’t see him that way’.

As you return back to your seat you’re already going through the exhausting motions of looking around, making sure nobody was looking at you two funny, etc, etc.

Everyone was mostly to themselves, everyone besides rudo. Who’s ever watchful eye on the two of you. His brows gently furrowed as he scrutinized the sight. 

Your stomach churns. You crane your head slightly, fully looking back at him to see him not even blink. Your lips press together thinly, holding back your own irritation and looking away.

How could he be so blatant? But then again how could you? As soon as you ask yourself that You keep your fingers tucked tightly into your palms and your hands as a unit super glued to your thighs. If you weren’t gonna keep yourself in check that stare certainly would.

The rest of the second hour dragged on. Your mind bounced around aimlessly. the only thing keeping you semi occupied was the rhythmic tapping of your fingers against an old plastic cup.

The heavy silence in the car kept your mind active. Periodically switching between the cup and Rudo, who had finished his snacks a while ago. You could feel him do the same.

Rudo. Cup. Rudo. Cup. Over and over and over again.

He had to be doing this on purpose. There was no way.

You increase the frequency. He had to watching, you could feel it. Your jaw ticks as frustration builds.

Cup, Rudo, cup, Rudo, cup, Rudo.

You snap your head towards him so fast you hear a bone pop. Just to see Rudo not even looking. He had been looking at his gloves. He peeres up at you in confusion.

“…You okay?”he slowly questions.

Your eyebrow twitches but you don’t say a word, just slowly sinking into the seat with a low grumble.

However as soon as Rudo’s gaze falls back to his lap you lean into Zanka once more

“You were right.” You whisper

Zanka barely reacts at first before doing a double take. “Hah?”

“You were right about Rudo.”

He cracks a smile, almost triumphant at the thought of having your stubborn hide admit fault. “Yeah? How’d you figure that one out?”

You scoff. “Oh don’t do that…”

You look back behind you. Rudo’s stare isn’t as obvious now but its domineering nature still remained, just to a lesser degree. You wilt slightly into your seat.

“I think he’s been stalking me...On the way here I saw him just staring and then— he

woosh. rushed right past me”

He slowly nods. “Huh…”

Then he busted out into a full grin. “Hey maybe It’ll help you with the whole ‘laying low’ thing” he snickered

You smack his arm. “Hey last time I checked you were the main one freaked out. C’mon help me out!”

Zanka scoffed. “I was not— ugh…. i mean…it was like you said earlier. It’ll pass.” He continued, a little softer.

“Oh so you do listen to me?” You snicker. He shoves you lightly.

“Shut up…Y’know I always do.”

“Awhhh….” You coo. “So you really do listen— shit!”

You’re jerked forward, the seat belt knocking the wind out of your lungs as it constricts. It forces you back and you slam into it hard enough to where there’s a you shaped print in the cushion.

“We’re here!” Enjin’s voice boomed.

Your head whip your head up and your eyebrows furrowed as you see the village in the distance.

“Wha— wait there’s still a couple of good mile or so left?”

Riyou looked down at your hanging body, held up by the taut belt.

“Intel says they don’t allow vehicles past this point. It’s such a drag…” She sighed at the reminder.

Her thumb reaches around to the buckle and it releases the suffocating thing from around you. You let out a sharp groan of pain as you land on your knees.

You wince, holding your gut as you lift yourself up. Zanka smacked his hand over his mouth, suppressing laughter.

You scowl. “Shut it.”

Zanka lets out another giggle, clicking the door open and grabbing a hold. Of your hand to guide you out into the hell like heat that awaited you outside.

***

On the long list of regrets you had formed since the faithful day Rudo stumbled across you and Zanka getting out enjin’s stupid jeep was definitely up there. Pushing down every one to win first place with every step you took in the grueling heat.

It was as if the sun had reached down and rung all the water out your body. Your eyes were trained on the village just above the horizon. Covered in a haze of dust and bleary with your

A mile and a half wasn’t too long. You could handle it. You’ve handled a hell of a lot more in the past, the heat shouldn’t change that.

You reached your hand Into your satchel. Digging around miscellaneous item until you feel the cold steel on your fingers. pouring a little bit into your hands and splashing it on your face.

You search for rudo in the crowd ahead. Talking with Riyou. Enjin had his stupid umbrella to keep himself cool (lucky bastard) and Gris had his cap to keep himself cool. And Zanka looked— unbelievably hot.

Not— not like that. Like in the sense his face was a ridiculously angry red. Even from far away you could see the back of his neck drenched in sweat.

You slowly jog up to him. Press up against his side.

“Hey.”

He looks down at you through half lidded eyes. His mouth quarks up Slightly

“Hey.”

It takes you a second to process his words. His bangs stuck to his forehead, glued together by sweat. God when were you so easily distracted? Wasn’t even doing anything

“You…good?”