lumiere//noir

Jax instinctively held out his hands to catch the coins as Xan dumped her coinpurse, so that they wouldn’t get lost in the couch as she did her counting. He patiently waited for the pokemon to finish counting, shrugging his shoulders as Sylvia commented on her tauros-headedness. “Aw, give her a break. A lady can never have too many scarves.”

A smile tugged at his lips as Xan finished counting her money and snuggled up into his side. He wrapped his arm around her and gently pulled her close. “Castelia is good. I can’t remember the last time I went to the shopping district during the day… for actual shopping.” He didn’t elaborate on exactly what he was doing in the shopping district at night if it wasn’t for shopping, but he was sure that Sylvia could connect the dots. “And you know, shopping is therapeutic. I bet we could both use a nice day of shopping to unwind the nerves a bit.”

His eyes traveled to the piano that they had refurbished together the last time he was at her house. “Have you written anymore music since the last time?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“I buy a lot of my clothes secondhand or at the market when I’m on break.  It’ll be nice to get something new for once.”  She quirked an eyebrow at his ‘unwind the nerves’ comment; they could certainly both use a therapeutic shopping session after the mildly traumatic past few hours they’d had.

Sylvia followed Jax’s eyes to the piano and coughed into her hand awkwardly.  “Well...I did compose something.”  She shuffled her feet in place as she debated whether to share it or not.  After a moments hesitation she realized she couldn’t just share that and then not play.  Sylvia walked to the bench and bent down to shuffle through a pile of papers she’d dropped next to it; she eventually found the sheets she was looking for and set them up on the piano.

She didn’t really need to look at the sheet music she’d written; she’d played this probably a hundred times in the past few weeks, tweaking it until two days ago when she finally decided it was as close to perfect as it was going to get.  She glanced at the papers and placed her hands on the keys; a very slow and melancholic song filled the air, gently ringing.  It felt like she held her breath for the duration of the song -- it was more depressing than she remembered.  When the last note rang out, she turned around on the bench with a sardonic smile.

Jax was silently relieved when Sylvia extended her offer for him to stay over for a few days. Frankly not only was he reluctant to go back to being alone in his current state of mind, but he had also genuinely missed Sylvia’s company and the idea of spending a day or two with her was something he wouldn’t turn down.

It only took a few minutes for him to pack the duffel bag in a very minimal fashion, tossing in a couple of sets of clean clothes as well as some toiletries and a book he had been reading before falling into a seemingly bottomless pit of despair and self-loathing. After stuffing his wallet and keys into his pockets they were ready to go, and before long their cab pulled up in front of Sylvia’s house.

The sight of the house itself had given him a feeling of comfort as it came into view. It was where Sylvia had once literally saved his life, at a time that seemed to him long ago yet all at once not so long ago. And since then she had unwittingly saved him in other ways, ways that he himself probably didn’t fully appreciate.

Almost as soon as he stepped foot out of the cab, Xan practically flew into his arms and he instinctively caught her, cradling in his arm like an infant in one arm as he grabbed his duffel out of the trunk with his free hand. “I missed you too, Xan.” He reassured the pokemon as the three of them made their way up the walkway to the front door of the house. Another wave of remorse hit him as he was greeted by the earnest gazes of Sylvia’s pokemon, all gathered together in the hallway.

“Sorry for making you all worry.” Jax offered sincerely as Sylvia began to gently shoo them off. Some disappeared into the shadows while a few others stayed closer than usual, perhaps to keep an eye on him. Jax carried Xan over to the couch and plopped down, dropping his duffel beside him and carefully placing the Mimikyu onto his lap. The rays of sun streaming through the windows didn’t exactly help with his headache, but he already felt much better with the much needed change of scenery and could think a bit more clearly. “Do you already have everything you need for the festival, Syl? Or do we need to plan a shopping trip before we go?”

Sylvia was giving her Pokémon reproving glares as a few of them continued to stalk Jax into the living room.  They were just going to make him feel self conscious, but she was pretty sure they just wanted to make sure he was really okay.  She didn’t plan on telling Jax anytime soon that she had spent a good portion of his absence also moping around; that would just be an unneeded layer of guilt to lay on him for no reason.

“Er--,” she paused at his question, “well, since I was still waffling on whether I wanted to go or not I didn’t really check.  But if I’m honest, since we’re next to the ocean it doesn’t really snow here.  All my winter clothes are probably from high school and I frankly doubt I’ll still fit in them.”  Sylvia felt a slight twinge of embarrassment upon admitting that, but ended her confession with a shrug.

“A shopping trip is probably in order.”  Xan wiggled out of Jax’s grasp and darted off into her room before Sylvia could stop her.  She returned shortly after with a tiny coin purse, which she was swinging around wildly as she hopped up into Jax’s lap again.  She dumped it upside down to dump the coins out, which she promptly began counting.

“Miss Xan, you already have winter clothes that still fit you.”  Xan looked up at Sylvia for a brief second before returning to her counting.  Sylvia sighed.  “Well I guess Xan will get a new scarf too.  Xan don’t you want to save that money for something else?  I can buy you a scarf myself.”  The Mimikyu made a chittering noise and waved her off with one of her shadow hands.  Sylvia bristled.

“She collects coins that fall out at the marketplace and saves them to buy herself stuff at the other booths.  Xan, I seriously doubt you have enough for a scarf.”  She was apparently satisfied with the amount of money she had collected thus far as she carefully dropped them back into the pouch, continuing to ignore Sylvia’s pleas.  “Her Tauros-headedness will get her killed on day, I swear it.”

It was a relief that the pair seemed to be reaching their usual level of rapport again so quickly after their most recent string of rocky interactions. Jax only offered a shrug and a small grin at Sylvia’s exaggerated reaction to his previous offer. They each had a certain amount of stubbornness, particularly with Sylvia being set in her independent ways and Jax’s insistence on interfering with that particular self-reliant quality of hers, which sometimes caused a bit of friction between their two personalities although not exactly in a harmful way. In fact, Jax thought it had always made their relationship more interesting.

“Sure, just let me know when you find out.” Jax silently wondered if Sylvia was simply being melodramatic about staying in the same hotel as her parents. He couldn’t imagine that they could be all that embarrassing – most parents were, to some degree – so he wondered if it could have been something else entirely. He didn’t ask, since he would find out soon enough, and it added a bit to the mystery of the situation. Sylvia rarely spoke about her parents in detail, so Jax was genuinely looking forward to meeting them.

Since there was still a dull pounding – or maybe more like the sensation of a spike being driven through his skull – in his head, he didn’t try to argue when Sylvia took his plate and packaged up the leftovers. He would simply have to find a way to repay her later, as usual. He stood up slowly, wincing as a few white spots appeared in the edges of his vision before slowly fading away again.

A bemused expression crossed his face as he watched Sylvia get flustered again, and he couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease her again. “How can I say no when you’re being this cute?” He sighed as his expression became a bit more serious, kneading his fingertips against his temple. “It’s probably a good idea for me to get out of here for a bit, actually.” He hesitated for a moment before adding, “And if I’m completely honest, I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

The corner of Sylvia’s mouth twitched into a smile.  “That’s probably for the best.  Let’s pack you a day bag, then.”  She had found a small duffle in the hallway closet when she had cleaned and retrieved it.  “You can pack for a few days, if you want.  I don’t mind how long you stay.”  It seemed best to let him pack on his own; she had already spent too much time up in his business when she cleaned while he was asleep.

Sylvia plopped onto the couch and waited for him to finish.  Her phone lit up with a text from her mom.

Mom [7:56PM]: There’s only a few tickets left for the festival FYI 🥺

Mom [7:57PM]: You could sell the second ticket probably.

It took all self control not to let out an ugly guffaw at the text.  Her parents were going to be over the moon to see Sylvia bring someone along.  They probably weren’t going to get a moment of peace because of it, but that perhaps wasn’t a bad thing for Jax -- currently, at least.  Sylvia looked up as Jax entered the living room holding his duffle.

“Got everything?  I took a taxi to get here, but honestly I’m not sure I want you driving.  I’ll call for another one.”  She punched in the number before Jax could protest.  A few minutes later a checkered cab rolled up in front of Jax’s apartment; soon enough they were parked in front of Sylvia’s house.  Xan was pressed against the window and excitedly jumped off the couch when she saw the pair exit.  The front door flung open; the Mimikyu practically flew into Jax’s arms as she made a mad dash and leap while Sylvia paid the fare.

“Xan, he’s not feeling 100% right now.  Let’s not act too crazy, okay?”  She didn’t seem to be paying attention to Sylvia as she chittered animatedly.  Sylvia clicked her tongue but didn’t pull her away as she led Jax inside, carefully locking the door behind them.  Her Pokémon were cautiously gathered in the small front hallway; they were all pretty relieved to see Jax in one piece.

As Sylvia had a mild choking fit Jax patted her gently on the back a few times, more of a comforting gesture (almost as much for himself as it was for her) than one to actually help dislodge the bacon in her throat. It was almost funny – although not quite – how awkwardly they both were handling the current situation. It seemed that it could take a bit of acclimation before they were used to this sort of interaction.

He was a little surprised when Sylvia suggested that they meet up with her parents at the winter festival in Icirrus City. Jax had never thought that he would ever finding in the situation meeting a woman’s parents on their first (official) date. But their relationship so far hadn’t exactly been conventional, and Sylvia herself was far from ordinary. And since her parents led a nomadic lifestyle it wasn’t as if she could choose when she would like Jax to meet them anyway.

“No, it sounds fun. We should go.” Jax returned her smile with a reassuring one of his own. “Meeting your parents will be nice. I’ll look forward to it.” He had a fleeting thought that his parents would have loved to meet Sylvia as well, but he immediately banished the thought from his mind. “I’ve lived in Unova for almost my entire life and haven’t had a chance to go to the winter festival. Never really had a burning desire to go, but now I think a little trip would be perfect.”

He flashed her another smile; it may have been the lingering alcohol in his system, but thinking about going to the festival with Sylvia gave him a feeling that he would almost describe as giddy. “Let me make the hotel arrangements, though. It wouldn’t be fair to let you do all the planning by yourself.”

Sylvia was trying not to look overly delighted as Jax accepted her offer.  It was going to be an awkward meeting; everyone thinks their parents are embarrassing, but they have nothing on Sylvia’s family.  There was a certain level of danger in letting Jax meet them, but it was going to have to happen one day -- perhaps better to get it out of the way now.

“Tch-- it’s not overly difficult to buy tickets for a festival.”  She gave him an exaggerated eye roll.  While it was good to see Jax was already much closer to his normal self, she could’ve dealt a little longer without his chivalrous attitude.  “But if you want to make hotel arrangements that’s fine.  Although...let me see where my parents are staying first.  It’s important that we don’t stay there.  Trust me.”

Sylvia let him finish a bit more of his food before whisking the plate away.  She really did go overboard on the food considering what his food intake was previously.  Since she had just done all the dishes, she knew where the Tupperware was and stowed the leftovers in the fridge.  The clock on the stove indicated that she had been there for almost five hours; she blanched and smacked her forehead.

“Oh Arceus, I told Xan it’d only be gone for an hour or two.  She’s probably enlisted half the Pokémon in Driftveil to look for me by now.”  Sylvia gave Jax an apologetic smile.  “I need to head home.”  She folded her arms and cocked her head to the side.  “If you’d like to come with me you’re free to do so.  In case you’re worried you’ll get bad again without company, or something.”  She was trying her damnest not to let her face heat up at her own offer.  She could’ve said the same thing to him yesterday and not felt an ounce of embarrassment; this was what happened when you missed out on high school romances, she supposed.

Jax was a little surprised at how much her first sentiment resonated with him. In fact he had only recently become aware of the fact that his own persistent tendency of keeping track of the favors he owed Sylvia was just an excuse to spend more time with her. He had thought that he had a bit more self awareness than that, but in fact he had become so accustomed to loneliness that he had almost become unaware of it.

He knew that Sylvia would never say any of this to hurt him, but regardless he felt an increasing pang of guilt in his chest as he spoke. The fact that he had caused her pain was something he intended to make up for in actions rather than words – although he had no idea how to even begin. Despite the guilt he felt he also felt somewhat content with the fact that Sylvia felt comfortable enough to share this level of honesty with him.

“Ah. We can’t have that.” He laughed softly, then took a sip of his tea. Jax thought that Sylvia was letting him off way too easy, but he wasn’t going to complain about it. He sighed. “Thanks for coming, Syl. I know I was kind of a bastard about it at first.” He nearly winced at the slightly-foggy memory of the way he’d acted when she first showed up at his apartment. “To be honest with you, I don’t know where I would be without you. Definitely not in a good place.”

He smiled and finished off his tea before placing his mug on the coffee table and lazily sinking back into the couch. “Why don’t we go do something later? Is there a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try, or–” He stopped abruptly, offering a sheepish smile. “Sorry, that sounded way too casual.” It had been a while since he’d attempted anything resembling romance, so naturally he was rusty. “I’m trying to ask you on a date.”

Sylvia gave his knee a pat and nodded.  “You’ll disagree, but it was understandable.  But that’s all behind us now, so don’t go on apologizing for it.”  She shoved the other three piece of bacon in her mouth and then promptly choked on them as Jax finished speaking.  She pounded on her chest a few times before the bacon pieces finally dislodged and she was able to swallow.

“Eugh-- sorry, that ah-- caught me off guard.  A date...”  Sylvia pondered it for a moment, but gave Jax a shrug at the end.  “I don’t really know.  I have no idea what places are good date spots.”  That was more embarrassing to admit than the long monologue about missing him had been.  It was growing more apparent that she didn’t leave her house very often, other than for work.  There were plenty of places to eat here and in Driftveil, so there must be something they could think of.

“Well, there is something I’ve been thinking about recently.  Although it’s more of a trip than a date, so it probably won’t work.”  Sylvia pulled out her phone and opened up her mobile browser to hand to Jax.  “Icirrus City is having a winter festival next week.  My parents are supposed to be rolling into town then and I haven’t seen them in, uh, well probably three years at this point.  I wasn’t going to go originally because there’s a...problem involved with getting tickets.

“The festival tickets are sold solely in pairs -- and expensive pairs, at that.  It’s honestly only couples that ever go.  A lot of newly weds and people like that.  It’s a tradition thing, I guess, or whatever, but it’s where my parents met.  It’s supposed to be their 35th anniversary this year so they were texting me begging me to come up and see them; they’re not going to make it to Driftveil so it’s sort of my only opportunity to see them in Unova.”  

Jax barely managed to stifle his laughter at Sylvia’s reaction to his teasing. He figured that she had put up with quite enough already, and could probably use a little break. Still, he was in a remarkably good mood despite the pounding in his head. While she was up fixing her own cup of tea Jax moved the plate from his lap to the coffee table, and dragged the table a bit closer to the couch.

He sipped some more tea as she sat down, then picked up a slice of toast and bit into it. The apple butter was almost cloyingly sweet after tasting almost exclusively alcohol for the past couple of days. “I think I’d probably be throwing up right this second if there was anything in me to come up. But I think I’ll be fine if I take it slow.”

That was the hope, at any rate, as he observed once again how thin his hands and forearms. Now that he was finally sober he could appreciate how destructive and irresponsible his depressive spiral had been. He chewed slowly on a slice of bacon, nodding silently as he endured the gentle chiding Sylvia delivered.

“The eggs are perfect, Syl.” He assured her as he sliced into one with the edge of his fork, watching the golden yolk slowly flow onto the plate. He glanced at her and saw her eying the food, and cracked a small smile. “It’s way too much food, though. I’ll probably have to work myself up to being able to eat this much in one sitting. You should help me out, or half of it’ll probably end up going to waste.”

He motioned toward the other slice of toast and the generous serving of bacon still on the plate. Shoveling another bite of egg mixed with bacon into his mouth, his expression seemed pensive for a moment. “I’ll work on opening up more around you. I wish I could say that I’m like this because of what happened with Interpol, but honestly, I’ve been this way all my life. Never really let anyone get close to me, sort of kept everyone at arm’s length. But, I don’t know. Having you close doesn’t seem so bad.”

Jax kept his gaze on the plate as he slowly picked at the food. He was feeling uncharacteristically flustered, although it didn’t show much on his face; even admitting this much to her made him feel strangely vulnerable, although he didn’t hate it as much as he would have thought.

Sylvia picked up the second piece of toast and folded it in half.  She smiled at his comment and nudged him with her elbow.  “I’m glad I get to be the first person you keep close.”  She took a bite of toast and chewed thoughtfully for a few seconds.  “I don’t think I was really aware of how lonely I was until you disappeared.  It was oppressive.  I spent so much time alone before you came along that I guess I just figured that was what life was like.  

“When you stopped answering my texts and calls...it was sort of like my world came crashing down around me.  I don’t say this to make you feel guilty, but I never really worried about anyone other than myself and my Pokémon before.  When you were gone, well, I guess it was like someone punched a hole through my chest.  It hurt a lot; eventually I couldn’t take the hurt which is why I came to check up on you.”

She actually wasn’t embarrassed to admit this; in fact, it felt as if a massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders.  “I never realized how emotionally stunted I was until this happened.  I was too self reliant.  You know my neighbors noticed you were gone too?  The elderly couple that lives to my right asked about you.  They were probably also concerned that I looked even more haggard than usual.  I don’t think I slept a lot, but it’s not like I sleep all that often in the first place.”

Sylvia took another bite of the toast before she silently stared at the floor.  Normally she didn’t like to broadcast her weaknesses like that, but if they were going to be candid with one another now seemed as good a time as any.  Besides, she would rather die than bring this up later when all was said and done.  She took a piece of bacon and broke it into fourths; she popped a piece in her mouth and hide a smile with her hand.

“I won’t disappear anymore.” Jax assured her, his voice low but earnest. He knew she was joking, but there was a ring of truth there that didn’t sit right with him; he hadn’t treated her fairly in the past. He couldn’t help but smile as Sylvia admitted that she wanted to kiss him as well. Jax thought that he had gotten that sort of vibe from her once or twice, but he had never been sure that it wasn’t just wishful thinking.

He was about to tell her that she didn’t have to be good at relationship stuff, that he’d utterly and inescapably fallen for her in her natural state. But before his drunken mind could form the words Sylvia was ushering him to sleep, and he decided that perhaps that was the best idea. He didn’t exactly trust himself to make good decisions in his current state.

“Alright, alright. Goodnight, Syl.” Jax allowed his eyes to drift closed as Sylvia kissed his forehead. He loathed to admit it to himself, but having her close made him less afraid of the prospect of sleep. It was as if he somehow knew that her presence would be enough to ward off the dreaded images that haunted him as he slept. Before long he was soundly asleep, and instead of nightmares he dreamed that he was on a boat, sitting with Xan in his lap and Nash curled up at his feet, watching as Sylvia steered the gently swaying vessel with her capable hands, her bright orange hair blowing softly in the ocean breeze.

The smell of breakfast woke him up, and as he slowly came to his senses he could hear sizzling and the scraping of a spatula coming from his small kitchen. Although he attempted to get up slowly, a piercing pain shot through his head. Jax hissed quietly and brought his hand up to his head. His disheveled hair fell in front of his eyes and the deep bags under his eyes completed his miserable look.

“I feel like I just had a lobotomy.” He muttered gloomily as Sylvia approached him with his plate and mug. Looking into her cheery face was like staring directly into the sun, but not in a terribly awful way. He took the plate and balanced it on his lap, and immediately took a drink of the pungent and slightly spicy tea. “You know you didn’t have to do all this.”

He set the mug onto the coffee table and looked at the hearty breakfast she had prepared. It looked delicious, and now that he really thought about it, he was starving. He hadn’t bothered to cook for himself at all while he was in his slump, and looking at his wrists and hands could tell that he had lost some weight as a result. “This looks delicious. Thanks, Syl.”

Jax smiled, and suddenly the specific events from a few hours ago rushed back to his head, along with a particularly painful ache. Sylvia was leaning over, at the perfect angle, too perfect for him not to take advantage. So, naturally, he leaned forward slightly… and flicked her gently on the tip of her nose. “I can’t believe you took advantage of me while I was drunk.”

“I don’t have to do it, but I want to.  Besides, I don’t think I could stand to look at your miserable face much longer.  And I knew it’d be twice as miserable once you woke up with a hangover.”  She offered him a wry smile that turned into a look of shock at his joking accusation.  Sylvia bristled and poked him in the forehead.

“You started it!  And I’ll have you know I pulled away before I really took advantage of you.”  That was embarrassing to admit, and she immediately covered her face with her hands to hide her red face.  “I didn’t say that and you didn’t hear that.  Just eat your stupid food.”  She stood up and returned to the kitchen to pour herself her own cup of tea.  There was going to be unbearable tension until they talked about this, but she wasn’t sure she could defend herself against Jax’s teasing.  As she had already told him, she wasn’t good with the whole ‘relationships’ thing.

Sylvia returned to the couch with her own mug of tea and sat down next to him.  A part of her wished she had cooked something for herself, but she didn’t buy enough groceries to keep them both fed.  “Aside from the lobotomy, how do you feel?  You’re going to have to eat a lot of protein and carbs to get yourself in working order again.  The ginger should keep the nausea down.”  This was from personal experience, although she didn’t know if Jax had the same awful type of hangovers she tended to barely survive.

“We don’t have to talk about why you went into your depressive spiral of self hatred and destruction because we both know why it happened.  But you do need to accept that what’s done is done, and you have to move forward.  That’s the last I’ll say on the matter.”  She took a sip of her tea and glanced at his plate of food.  Ugh, she really should’ve bought more.

Jax hadn’t been entirely sure what he was expecting; his current frame of mind wasn’t optimal for reflection or forethought. But a moment after recovering from her initial shock, she kissed him back. He was suddenly filled with such an electrifying feeling of affection that it surprised him at first, as if he had completely forgotten what pure, overwhelming happiness felt like. Or that such a feeling was even possible for him anymore. For a moment nothing else mattered, just the feeling of her lips, and the gentle touch of her hand against his.

She pulled away suddenly, and Jax watched bemusedly as a blush bloomed on Sylvia’s face. Cute, he thought simply, her current expression was so incredibly cute that he had an urge to pull her in again for another kiss, but he knew better.  He was vaguely aware that he was going to have some regrets later – certainly not the kiss itself, so much as the awful timing of it – but he pushed the thoughts back down as soon as they attempted to surface. That was a problem for Sober Jax to deal with.

Through a slight haze he felt the coolness of the damp cloth against his forehead again, and he yielded quietly as Sylvia gently pushed him back into a more relaxed position on the couch. She sat down on the couch beside him, taking his hand, and when he looked at her the vulnerable expression that had settled into her features made his heart jump in his chest a little. His head was still spinning slightly, and before he could formulate a coherent thought she was standing again, saying something about going to get a blanket.

Jax sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to pull himself together while Sylvia was in the bedroom. He knew he was acting like an idiot, but it genuinely felt his thoughts were swimming around in some kind of thick syrup. When Sylvia returned and ordered him to lay down he didn’t bother trying to argue. He stretched out on the couch as well as he could, spreading the blanket over top of him, and laid his head on the pillow. But he didn’t try to sleep right away, instead he turned onto his side to face Sylvia, her head was very close to his as she sat on the floor. He reached out and tugged lightly on a lock of her soft orange hair.

“Hey. I’m sorry if I took you by surprise earlier. In hindsight I could have handled that a hell of a lot better.” He was looking at her earnestly, even if she didn’t turn to face him he wasn’t going to try to make her. “I know I tend to keep everything close to my chest. I must be extremely difficult to deal with sometimes.” He smiled slightly. “I just want you to know that I didn’t just kiss you because I’m drunk. I’ve been wanting to for a while now.”

Sylvia sat quietly as Jax made himself comfortable.  When he gently tugged on her hair she flushed red again, embarrassed by how wildly her heart was attempting to beat out of her chest.  “I-It’s fine.  I’m not bothered by it.”  At least she wasn’t bothered in a bad way.  She sighed at the seriousness in his voice; at least he was self aware that he tended to keep himself closed off.  Perhaps him being drunk wasn’t entirely bad, if he could at least admit his shortcomings even for a moment.

Her heart thumped again when he said he wanted to kiss before this happened.  “I’m glad you said that; I was a little bit afraid that you were going to walk out of here after you sobered up and disappear for real.”  She smiled at her own joke, glad that he couldn’t see her face.  “If I’m completely honest, I’ve wanted to kiss you for awhile as well.  I’m not really, ah, good, with relationship stuff.”  Sylvia stared at her hands as she wrung them.  “I’m not sure I’m confident enough to ever make the first move.”

She finally turned around to look at him; her face heated up the moment she noticed their close proximity.  “Now go to sleep before I knock you out myself.  You should wake up at least mostly sober.  Probably with a pounding headache, but I have the cure for that.”  Sylvia pressed a kiss to his forehead before turning around again to look at her phone.  “Sleep.  No arguments.”  She waited for what felt like forever before his breathing evened out and he appeared to be sleeping.

She ordered some groceries on her phone to be delivered so that she could cook him something when he woke up, as well as ordering the only boxed brand of tea she trusted.  After working up the courage to face the task, she even managed to clean out the bathroom before he woke up.  After unpacking the groceries, she started to cook up a breakfast for dinner so that Jax wouldn’t be quite as miserable when he woke up.

He began to stir awake just as she was putting the finishing touches on her fried eggs.  “Hey sleepy head.  You slept for three hours, so I suppose I’ll allow you to wake up now.  I’m about to make your plate.”  Sylvia slid two of the fried eggs onto the plate along with two pieces of toast with apple butter, five pieces of bacon, a small side of hashbrowns that she topped off with some melted cheese.  She carried the plate in one hand and a large cup of ginger tea in the other as she approached him, kneeling next to the couch to hand it over.

Jax narrowed his eyes at her slightly but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t as if he had anything to say in his defense anyway, and he simply didn’t have the energy to argue. His eyes had drifted back closed as he felt her sit beside him on the couch. 

Her concern for him only made the guilt settling in his stomach feel even heavier. While he was more relieved that he would ever admit that Sylvia cared enough about him to even put up with him in his current state, he was also growing increasingly annoyed with himself. Why had it been so difficult for him to reach out to her, just once? Why was it still so hard? His lips seemed to be sealed shut, although he knew she was right about everything.

Past the throbbing in the back of his head Jax could vaguely hear the sound of Sylvia rustling around in the kitchen, then the faucet running briefly. A moment later the cool touch of a cloth being laid over his forehead. He finally opened his eyes and saw Sylvia leaning slightly over him. She was scolding him now, in her gentle way. He knew that was what she was doing, although he wasn’t totally paying attention to the words. He was looking at her lips as they moved and suddenly he was hit by a sudden impulse.

He sat up a little straighter, pulling the cloth off of his forehead with one hand and with the other, gently gripping Sylvia’s arm and pulling her toward him just enough to close the distance. His heart sped up in his chest; he had been suppressing the vague idea of kissing Sylvia for weeks, or even months. It was a complication they certainly didn’t need, and besides he had no idea if she felt the same way about him. But now he was drunk and all those concerns didn’t seem to matter right this second.

Softly, his lips pressed against hers. His hand drifted up to cup the side of her neck and he lingered there for a moment, waiting for a reaction, half expecting to get smacked hard. But in the moment his anxiety seemed to fall away and he felt perfectly at ease, the sinking feeling in his stomach suddenly replaced with a much lighter feeling in his chest. Even if it would only last for a moment, Jax felt like everything was okay.

Sylvia had no time to react as Jax pulled her in for a gentle kiss.  Her eyes were wide at first, but she closed them as he cupped her neck.  She laid her own hand lightly against his cheek, her other hand was placed on top of his.  It was a peaceful moment -- the few seconds the kiss happened -- but then she remembered he wasn’t in his right mind and immediately pulled back.  Sylvia coughed into her hand, embarrassed by her moment of weakness as her face turned scarlet.

“M-Maybe we can try that again when you’re not drunk, and I don’t feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”  She retrieved the washcloth that had been thrown to the side and gently pushed him back into the couch again.  Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest as she placed the cloth against his forehead again.  This exact scenario wasn’t exactly something she’d cooked up in her imagination, but something vaguely similar might have occurred to her once or twice while she was daydreaming.  Now she felt a bit like she was going to die as she sat next to him again; she clasped her hands and squeezed her knees together.  Of course he had to be drunk when he pulled a move like this.  It was highly uncharacteristic -- but maybe that wasn’t so bad.

She stared at the wall in silence for a moment before she worked up the courage to look at him again.  “You’re always so on guard; it’s extremely frustrating.”  Sylvia carefully reached out to take one of Jax’s hands in her own.  “You don’t have to be on guard around me.”  She gave him a small smile, but quickly became embarrassed again and shot out of her seat.  “I’ll go get a blanket, you need to take a real nap and not a liquor nap.”  Sylvia chided herself as she stalked into Jax’s room and swiped a pillow and blanket off the bed.  She was being silly, like a stupid school girl with a lame crush.  Pull it together!

Allowing himself to be led into the bathroom, Jax simply shrugged his shoulders at her initial question. It was obviously rhetorical so he decided against making a smart-ass remark and risk upsetting Sylvia further. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror he wasn’t exactly surprised to see the dark circles under his eyes and the five-o-clock shadow that had grown in since he last saw his own reflection.

“That would be a tragedy.” He attempted to say light-heartedly in response to her having to retrieve his dead body from the shower, but his voice was rough and flat. He decided to give up on the endeavor of attempting to appear alright; while that was something that usually came naturally to him, it now took more energy than he had. He pulled his shirt over his head as Sylvia was on her way out the door to find him some clean clothes.

The shower water was nearly scalding as he stepped in, but he barely seemed to notice. His movements were sluggish but he did as Sylvia asked, making sure to do a thorough job. Jax was sure that she would force him into the shower a second time if she wasn’t satisfied that he had put his heart into the task. After a while turned off the water and dried himself off before dressing himself in the clothes Sylvia had picked out for him.

When he came out of the bathroom his damp hair hung in soft waves in front of his eyes. He hadn’t bothered shaving after his shower, but he had at least brushed his teeth, and generally looked and smelled much nicer than he had before. When he saw that Sylvia had been cleaning up while he was in the shower he found that he wasn’t exactly surprised, but a fresh wave of self-loathing hit him.

“Hey, will you stop?” There was an edge of irritability in his tone. Although he wasn’t so much irritated with her – how could he be, when all she was trying to do was help him – as he was with himself for creating a situation where she felt like she had to take care of him. He sunk onto the couch and closed his eyes. The sudden movement had caused the room to spin, and even though he was still drunk he could already feel the first signs of a hangover in his head. He kneaded his temple with his fingertips. “You don’t need to do all that. It’s enough that you came to check on me.”

Sylvia huffed and folded her arms as he scolded her.  She could tell that he was more upset with the situation than he was specifically with her, but that didn’t mean he could admonish her for trying to help.  “Well someone needs to do something.  You can’t just lay around in your own filth for weeks on end.  I understand that you’re not feeling well right now, but you didn’t have to avoid me for so long.  If you had called me sooner this placed wouldn’t be so trashed, and you wouldn’t look like you’ve been lost at sea for a month.”

After a moment she sighed and sat next to him on the couch.  “I can’t imagine how you feel; I know this.  I know I’m never going to understand what you went through.  But you don’t have to keep going through it alone.  You act like you don’t need help when you clearly do.  I’m not trying to be a pain, but you seem to think you have to suffer in silence by yourself.  You don’t!  You don’t have to!  You can lean on me.  It’s not going to bother me.”

She watched for his reaction, but he simply stayed still with his eyes still closed.  Another sigh escaped her lips and she folded her hands in her lap.  “You don’t have to talk about it now.  But you’re going to need to work through it eventually.  Otherwise you’ll be going through a depressive episode every other month, and I’m not going to deep clean your apartment every seven weeks just because you decide to disappear off the face of the planet.”

Jax was vaguely aware of the light clicking sounds of the lock being picked, but even that wasn’t enough to make him move from his spot on the floor. He had heard Sylvia’s voice on the other side of the door, so he was at least semi-positive that the presence attempting to get inside wasn’t a threatening one; just as long as he hadn’t been imagining the voice, which was a possibility that he couldn’t overlook.

His eyes were closed, and he was already halfway asleep when the bottle in his hand was plucked from his loosening grip. It wasn’t until the sound of the bottle being slammed onto the coffee table echoed in the once quiet apartment did he finally crack his eyes open. Sylvia was there, crouched in front of him, snapping her slender fingers in front of his face.

She began slapping his cheek when he didn’t respond; Jax nearly laughed when she told him he looked like shit, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. His expression remained blank, his usually sharp golden eyes now decidedly dull and glazed as he looked at her.

There was a feeling of guilt attempting to surface from the depths of his whisky-drowned mind. He supposed he was aware that it had been three weeks since he had last spoken to her, and each time he had told himself he would return her calls later he had known that he was lying to himself.

“I don’t know. Two or three days ago I guess.” Jax finally spoke, his voice low and a bit rough from disuse over the past few weeks. It was a lie, of course; he might have last showered two or three days ago, or perhaps as much as a week. The truth was he didn’t remember. “My perception of time is a little fucked at the moment.”

Jax leaned forward, his gaze still locked on hers. If he was aware of the fact that their faces were nearly touching he didn’t show it. His expression remained detached as one of his hands groped the table behind her until it found the bottle again. It nearly tipped over, but his fingers curled around it just in time.

“Look, I’m sorry.” He leaned back against the couch again. The guilt had finally  managed to surface, and seeing the worry that he had caused on her face made it immeasurably worse. He sighed. “You deserve better. I don’t really have an excuse.”

Sylvia sighed, rolling back on her heels as she wrapped her arms around her legs.  She was half tempted to snatch the bottle from him again, but it seemed pointless.  “You don’t have to have an excuse.  But you need to pull yourself together, okay?  You can’t sit here in the dark, surrounded by trash, and drinking yourself to death.”  She changed her mind and removed the whiskey from his clutches again; she placed it behind her back and furrowed her brow.

"You’re going to get up right now and take a shower.  No ifs, ands, or buts.”  Sylvia stood up and grabbed his arm, yanking him up into a standing position.  He was basically dead weight, but through sheer determination she was able to march him into his bathroom.  This room was just as wrecked as the kitchen and living room.  She scrunched her nose at the smell; it was a mix of so many different disgusting things so she was unable to put a name to the source.

“Arceus Jax, how are you even still alive?”  Sylvia yanked back the curtain and determined that the shower was still clean enough that she was fine with letting Jax use it.  “Wash yourself, I’m begging you.”  She noticed a bottle of Jack sitting on the ledge of the tub and grabbed that as well.  “Wash yourself without drinking.”  Luckily there was a clean towel in a cabinet next to the sink; she closed the toilet lid and laid it on top.  “If you’re not out in 30 minutes I’ll assume you’re dead and have to come retrieve your naked body.  I’ll put some clothes under the towel so that you can change into something not...drenched in sweat and dirt when you get out.”

It had taken them most of the night, but by the time the sun’s first few rays began filtering through the window of the small shed they were looking at the finished product of their hard work. A low, genuine laugh escaped Jax as he watched Sylvia’s excited reaction, it was a bit like the way Lucy’s eyes had lit up when she heard her once-broken music box play music again. Sylvia circled the piano, admiring it.

“Don’t mention it. You know I get at least as much satisfaction out of it as you do.” He smiled. He hadn’t been lying at all; fixing the piano had very much started off as a distraction, but seeing how delighted Sylvia was when they finally finished made all of the hard work worth it.

Jax was secretly relieved when Sylvia’s pokemon appeared to move the piano into the house. That would have been the really hard job, with just the two of them. The ghost-types seemed to have no issues picking it up, so he grabbed the other end of the bench as Sylvia began backing it out of the door. She was clearly still very excited, nearly dragging Jax and the bench along behind her until they reached a suitable spot in the living room.

The piano was quickly set up, and the bench moved to its proper place. Sylvia found some sheet music and sat down with Xan settling in right beside her. As she began to play, her fingers gliding nimbly over the keys. Jax stood where he was, almost as if he worried that moving would disturb the moment, only leaning back slightly against the wall as he listened.

He nearly laughed at himself, but he thought the moment seemed almost like magic. The house echoed with the full sound of the piano as bright yellow morning light filtered through the windows in beams. Xan swaying to the music, Sylvia’s soft wavy hair bouncing slightly with the movement of her hands, and finally the suspended final note of the song – all of it seemed to contribute to the spellbinding quality of that short-lived moment.

“It was good,” Jax told her honestly. In truth he had been holding his breath for a while, without realizing it. “Really good, actually. I think you really have a talent for this, Syl. Thanks for letting me hear it.”

He smiled, feeling genuinely lucky for once in his life. Whatever else may have been going on in his life, at least he had Sylvia. He may not have done anything to deserve someone like her in his life, but he thought he would be a bit lost without her. He glanced over at the window, where the sunshine was warm and bright.

“Anyway I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I need to head home and take care of a few things.” He avoided making eye contact with her for a moment. There was a good chance she was going to object, but Jax didn’t want her to feel like it was her responsibility to babysit the condition of his mental state when she was surely busy enough without that extra burden. Finally turning to her, he cracked a wry smile. “Don’t worry about me, alright? I really think I’ve gotten over the worst of it. I’ll call you when I hear from Sebastian.”

Sylvia was getting ready to pull out another piece of music to show Jax when he stated his intention to leave.  She held back a pout; he’d already been up all night helping her, and he’d certainly had a...rough beginning to the night in the first place.  She pushed the bench back and stood up as she began to collect the music scattered throughout the room.

“Alright, alright, we both know I’ll trap you here forever otherwise.”  Jax knew she was going to worry about him; it didn’t matter if he asked her not to.  Sylvia tilted her head at his smile but offered her own smile back.  “I’m going to worry about you no matter what, but I won’t make you stay.  But please be careful.”  Her brows furrowed.  “Don’t do anything stupid.  At least not with me.”  She punched him in the shoulder as she headed for the front door.

Jax offered a small smile in reassurance as Sylvia backtracked on her comment, shaking his head slightly. “No, I see what you’re saying. But I don’t think I would have considered it a burden, even then. I had a few advanced placement courses and some extracurriculars, and I guess a pretty active social life. I didn’t have a lot of extra time on my hands, but my dad worked long hours and my mom is pretty clueless when it comes to fixing things.”

As he spoke he silently wondered what his mom did these days when a surprise leak sprung under the kitchen sink. Jax wondered if she would try to fix it herself, surely soaking herself and the entire kitchen in the process. Or perhaps simply set a bucket underneath the leak to catch the drips until her husband returned from a long shift long past dark. “I might have had to miss a party or two on the weekends, but to be honest I think I usually felt more relief than resentment or anything like that. Can’t say I was always super happy about it, but I never minded the work. I guess it was always pretty rewarding, too.”

He snickered quietly at her property value comment, although he believed it was an exaggeration. Sylvia’s house had a certain charm to it, even before the renovations. He was glad that the few jobs they had done here and there hadn’t diminished it, and in fact he thought that the house had even more Sylvia-brand charm than it did when it began.

The steady back-and-forth rhythm of his sanding continued as Sylvia stood behind him, looking over his shoulder at what had been done so far. He nodded silently in agreement about the varnish, finding himself glad that the natural wood underneath would have a chance to shine after being hidden for apparently sixty years.

“It’s probably a little early to say this, but I think it’s going to look better than new once we’re done with it. You were right about the natural color of the wood.” He adjusted his angle a bit with the sandpaper block and fell into silent concentration again. It was nearly a trance, where his mind had cleared and the only thing left was the steady swishing sounds of the block scraping away the ugly top layer of the piano. Nothing else, thankfully.

The sun was peeking over the horizon by the time the pair had finished working on the piano.  It had been sanded, washed, varnished and rewired.  They’d polished the keys and even fixed up the bench.  Jax was right about it looking better than new; it was almost a different piano than what they’d started with.  Sylvia was full of energy as she tinkered with the keys to make sure they were tuned properly.

“It looks amazing!  Thank you so much for helping Jax!”  She clapped her hands a few times in excitement as she walked around the slightly cramped space to check all the angles.  “Now we just need to move it into the living room--” As if on cue, both Yehri and Zeitgeist materialized in front of the piano and began to lift it with their combined strength.  Sylvia shook her head in exasperation.  “I should’ve known those two were sitting around watching us the whole time.  They didn’t want to help with the restoration, but they sure planned on taking credit for moving it.”  Not that she particularly cared to move it herself.  She would’ve been lying if she tried to pretend she wasn’t worried that she would smash the thing on the way inside -- even with Jax helping.

Sylvia lifted one end of the bench and gestured for Jax to take the other end.  “I can’t wait to try this out!”  She was clearly giddy with excitement; she almost dropped her end of the bench more than once as she was walking too fast in an attempt to get inside as soon as possible.  Yehri and Zeitgeist were moving the piano just an inch back and forth while Xan directed.  Yehri was clearly getting tired of the Mimikyu’s chattering and gently dropped his end onto the floor to stop her.

Zeitgeist gently dropped his end as well and instead moved to take the bench from Jax and Sylvia.  He carefully placed in front of the piano before disappearing; he likely planned on watching quietly and out of everyone’s way.  Sylvia picked through her sheet music until she found a shorter piece that she had finished.  She placed it on the music rack and cracked stretched her hands before taking a seat at the bench.

Xan clamored up to sit next to her; she was already swaying back and forth as she waited for Sylvia to start.  “I’m a bit out of practice, but I think muscle memory will kick in anyway.”  She put her hands to the keys and began to play a tinkling tune that started slow and a bit quiet, before steadily speeding up.  After a moment she wasn’t even reading the music anymore; she had been correct that muscle memory would take over.  The song seemed to end too soon as she slowed down again; the final note was a bit haunting as it hung in the air.

Starting from the outside and working in was a logical enough plan, and now that it was decided Jax was eager to get to work. He ripped open the pack of sandpaper that Sylvia had tossed him and selected the coarsest grit to tackle the tough job of removing the old layer of varnish.

Then he got started, working the block of sandpaper in a steady back-and-forth rhythm as he listened to Sylvia’s voice drift about the small space. Once again, her voice had a soothing quality on the otherwise churning state of his mind. In addition, his own job of sanding down the piano had an almost hypnotic nature to it. The steady, methodical sound of the coarse sandpaper slowly scratching away the scratched, fading varnish to reveal perfectly unblemished wood beneath was oddly satisfying.

Before long they were working in a comfortable sort of silence, with only the sounds of sanding and the light sounds of the wires being unhooked and undone by Sylvia’s nimble hands. Jax’s eyes were trained on his task with a soft, neutral gaze. He felt completely at ease for the first time since the moment he had decided he was going to end another person’s life.

Eventually the silence was broken as Sylvia directed a question at him, and Jax smiled before he could stop himself. At first his insistence on ‘paying Sylvia back’ had been genuine, although he was certain that no amount of fixer-upper jobs would ever be able to square the debt that he felt he owed her. He’d be dead, for certain, if it hadn’t been for her. But after a while those had simply become excuses just to see her. He nearly laughed, but managed to hold back.

“That’s easy. It was this music box that Lucy had when she was little. She still has it, I think, in her room at our parents’ house. It’s not like anything you would expect Lucy to have.” He was grinning now, for once forgetting to subdue his expression. “It’s was this little round trinket box, all pink and covered in bows and ribbons, and when you wound it up and opened the lid the tiniest little Alolan Ponyta popped up and spun around to the tune of a lullaby.” He snickered a little; if Lucy had any way of knowing that he was telling this story he would be in for it.

“I think she was maybe six or seven when this happened, but she had knocked the music box off of her nightstand. The outside was fine but it didn’t play music anymore, just made this clicking sound when you tried to wind it up. She was pretty upset. I didn’t think she’d ever stop crying about it. I did what any self-respecting big brother would do, and promised her I’d fix the dumb thing. Except I didn’t say it was dumb out loud, Lucy would have had my head for that.” He paused his sanding for a bit, glancing up at Sylvia. She had met his sister once, but he wondered if she realized the full scope of Lucy’s wrath. “Well, it took me all night to fix it. Once I opened it up I realized that everything inside had pretty much been scrambled. I had to put it all back together from scratch, and more than once I had to start over after finishing with one or two pieces left out. I worked on it all night, and by the time I finished the sun was starting to come up. I was exhausted, but the look on my sister’s face when she wound up that music box and saw that little ponyta spinning around…”

He trailed off, realizing there weren’t really any words to describe how he had felt in that moment. “It just made everything worth it.” That was also the precise moment that Jax had decided that he would make any sacrifice to make sure his family was safe and happy. “As for prior experience, I guess that just comes from growing up in an older house. Things fall apart: a leaky pipe here, peeling wallpaper there. My dad worked long hours on most nights so I guess I kind of became the family handyman.”

Sylvia continued her quest to untie the wires as Jax spoke.  He was certainly right that she couldn’t picture Lucy with a music box as he described, but at the same time it seemed right.  Everyone had their thing as a kid that seemed to be the antithesis of how they presented themselves to the world.  She herself had been reading romance novels since she was old enough to understand them; actually, she was horrified upon remembering that she admitted to Jax that she still owned a majority of them.

Sylvia could easily see young Jax staying up all night to make sure his sister wasn’t disappointed.  For a brief moment she wondered how her own younger sister was, but quickly buried the thought.  She hid a smile as he finished his story; it was clear that pulling an all nighter for her had left an impression on him that he wouldn’t soon forget.  At the mention of living in an old house, she simply nodded along.  She didn’t have much personal experience; her parents rented houses for the short periods of time they would live somewhere so the landlords were always taking care of the property.

“That seems like quite the burden to lay on the shoulders of a teenager.”  Sylvia realized she likely misspoke and quickly backtracked.  “I mean, I know you did it because you wanted to...but it seems like time wasted that could’ve been spent doing stuff that, er-- teenagers want to do, I guess.”  Not that she had personal experience.  She spent so much time reading and studying that she certainly couldn’t say what teenagers liked to do.  She was a fairly atypical teenager and assumed Jax was likely the same, although in a different way.

“I guess I’m glad you spent all that time learning to repair houses.  My house no longer looks partially abandoned; I’m sure the neighbors were thrilled that their property values increased.”  Sylvia untied the last string and let out a sigh of relief.  “I was terrified that I was going to cut my hand open, but the worst is over.  The new piano wire will be much stronger.”  Now that the string was no longer in the way, she could properly investigate the state of the inside of the piano.

Jax smiled wryly at Sylvia’s comment on keeping up appearances. He could agree with that point more than he cared to admit, although he had a feeling that Sylvia already had a good understanding of that. He’d been keeping up appearances for most of his adult life, he supposed, until it had become almost second nature to him. Until he almost couldn’t remember what the man beneath the facade even looked like. Was it a really a facade, then – or was it simple a transformation?

Becoming a product of your environment, or whatever.

Miller’s voice from his dream echoed from the back if his mind, and Jax could see the cigarette smoke escaping from the rotting hole in his friend’s decaying cheek, his lips beginning to curl back exposing his teeth and parts of the skull beneath. Jax’s expression darkened for a bit, until the sound of the tarp being pulled off of the piano quickly brought him back to reality. He stepped toward the piano and propped open the top as Sylvia spoke; the inside appeared to be in slightly better shape than the inside, although he could see quite a few wires missing inside.

“There hasn’t been anything you’ve thrown at me yet that I haven’t been able to fix, and I don’t plan on breaking that streak anytime soon.” He mirrored her grin with one of his own. It was kind of impossible for him not to, with her smiling at him like that; her enthusiasm was simply contagious. “I have to say, I’ve never really gone anywhere near a piano before, but it can’t be that hard. Anything can be fixed with the right amount of determination.”

That’s right, anything could be fixed. Not only crooked shutters or wobbly chairs or busted up pianos. The shitty situation he had found himself in – and that Sylvia was also in, right beside him – could be fixed, and he would fix it.

Lifting the keylid, he tapped one of the white keys, an F major, but the only sound it made was a muffled click as it made contact with the wood beneath it. He pressed the black key beside it, F minor, and he watched as a single white hammer inside the piano lifted, then dropped down. The result was a lonely note echoing in the small space.

“At least some of the keys work,” he remarked quietly, and now he had a basic understanding of the piano’s mechanics. After a moment of thought he placed hands on the keylid and carefully lifted it until it was removed completely, then set it aside.

“It looks like the keys and the hammers in the back can all be removed in once piece,” he observed, glancing from the dust-covered keys to the crooked pieces of wood behind them, to the mess of wires behind that. He supposed it didn’t matter in what order they conducted the repairs, so he turned to face Sylvia again. “Where do you want to start first?”

Sylvia quietly watched Jax as he inspected the piano.  He seemed lost in thought as he checked a few of the keys to see if they still worked.  She, of course, that already determined that herself; however, she wouldn’t stop Jax from doing the same.  She was deeply relieved that she had this little project sitting in her shed; it seemed to have brought Jax out of his fugue like state entirely.

When he turned his attention back to her, she shrugged.  “Well, I figure we should start working on sanding and dusting first.  If we start with rewiring the piano then we’ll have to clean the inside again.  I can take out the wires left, and you can start sanding somewhere else.  With two of us working on it, it shouldn’t take long at all.”  At least she hoped.  Sylvia approached her tool bench and opened a drawer; she sifted around in it for a moment before pulling out a back of sandpaper.  She tossed it to Jax before going around the back to begin undoing the wires.

“I watched like 30 videos on how to rewire a piano, so I’m hoping I’m a secret pro at this.”  The wires inside were quite brittle after being in such poor conditions; a small part of her was maybe a bit worried that one would snap and slice her hand open.  It would be fine.  Probably.  “As for the sanding and varnish, I think I watched you fix enough things around my house to know how that works.”  As she finished unhooking the wire from one end, she carefully walked it down to the other end.  She gently lifted the hammer out of the way and quickly untied it all the way.  Sylvia tossed the old wire off to the side and nodded.

“I’m glad half the wire is gone, this would take ages otherwise.”  She paused for a moment to watch Jax sand down the side of the piano she wasn’t working on; it was quite relaxing to watch his rhythmic pattern.  Her heart felt warm as she noticed how concentrated he was on his task.  After a second she looked away in embarrassment, going back to her own task of de-wiring.  The silence they began to work in was comforting, but she was worried that he would start to think too much if she let it go on for too long.

An exasperated sigh escaped him as she mentioned staying up for days on end, but Jax knew by now that it was futile to try to change her. Besides, it was one of those endearing little quirks that made Sylvia the one-of-a-kind person that she was, and although it was an unhealthy habit that concerned him quite a bit, he wasn’t sure that he wanted her to change at all.

He turned to look at her as she curled up in the spot beside him, and the sight of her bundled up in the blanket like a burrito was cute enough to distract him for just a moment, and one corner of his mouth tugged up into a very small, but genuine smile. As he listened to Sylvia talk, her voice having a soothing effect on his frayed nerves, he straightened the papers in his hand and laid them carefully on the corner of the coffee table.

Her childhood experiences sounded quite opposite to his own, in all honestly, yet Jax could still relate to having a lonely feeling in high school despite being surrounded by people who considered themselves his friends. It hadn’t affected him much then, and even now he wasn’t very bothered by it, but he did sometimes wonder what prevented him from connecting with others back then when it should have been very easy for him to do so.

When Sylvia mentioned a decrepit old piano that she had in the shed, Jax felt a bit revitalized and immediately stood up, stretching with his arms over his head for a few seconds.

“Yeah, let’s take a look at it. I could use the distraction right now, and besides, I’d love to hear you play it one day if we do manage to get it into working condition.” He offered her another small smile. He knew it was a bit presumptuous of him to even assume that she would be comfortable playing a song for him even if they did fix the piano, but one could hope. He waited for her to get up before walking with her to the back door, opening it for her before closing it behind them and following her out to the shed.

“High school is weird though, isn’t it?” Jax mused quietly as he waited for her to undo the lock on the small building out back, thinking about what she’d told him earlier. At this point he was happy to think about literally anything other than what had transpired only a few hours ago. “Even when you’re surrounded by people it always did feel like you were alone. At least, that was my experience. not sure how it happened, but everyone around me seemed to have the idea that I was the cool person to be around. I couldn’t get a second to myself if I tried, yet for all the friends I had I don’t think a single one of them really wanted to know me. Makes me wonder if everyone was lonely back then, just some of us were a little better at hiding it.”

Sylvia smiled at Jax’s thinly veiled enthusiasm.  She should've known that her offering up a project for him to work on would pull him out of his stupor.  If she were honest, she would like to discuss what happened with him, but that was going to get her nowhere.  Maybe she could slowly pull it out of him later, but for now it was best to just get him to cheer up.  “I’d love to play for you.  Maybe it’ll help motivate me to actually finish those songs.”

She nodded quietly as she unlocked the shed, opening the door to the rather ramshackle building.  “I always felt that one of the reasons other kids disliked me towards the end was because I didn’t mind being alone.  Like it offended them or something.  I always felt that high school was rough for everyone, even the popular kids.  It takes a lot of work to keep up appearances, which is why I was glad I didn’t have to.”  Despite her house being packed full of objects, her shed was actually neatly organized.  Her tools were organized by type and hanging on the wall, the lawn mower was tucked away in the corner, and her work bench was clean.  In the middle of the room was a baby grand piano covered in a white tarp.

Sylvia yanked the tarp off and let it fall to the floor; underneath was a piano in serious disrepair, but it could clearly still be saved.  “It needs to be sanded and varnished, the keys need to be fixed and the piano wire is basically destroyed.  I think I have everything I need in here already, it’s just a matter of doing it properly.”  She placed her hands on her hips and grinned at him.