99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

Is this the new top/bottom discourse?

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

a hoe never gets lyme disease

What you need to do is read things that have been published in your field that should never have made it past the first revision. I'm a scientist and while writing my thesis I basically never had a thought beyond "this is all garbage, this is the worst thing that has ever been written". Then I recall a few articles I've come across where the science is atrocious, the figures are indecipherable, and the conclusion is bewildering. I don't know where reviewer #2 was, but they dropped the ball in letting that get published!

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

I love them so much.

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

*Puts hand over gaud’s mouth* It’s a butterfly pea. Please ignore the Latin name.

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

hi yeah i know ive been on this medication for 8 years but i need-- yeah. yeah 3 more months please. I'll call you in 3 months to beg for 3 more months, thanks. Bye. Love you.

Im sorry but you need to come in person for a checkup to make sure you actually need the medication you’ve been taking for 8 years

That'll be $150 (after insurance)

Oh my god I can't believe it, it's the cat! He's doing the thing he's done every day. I'm so glad I saw that cat.

im like an older person but younger

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried