𝖈𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖓𝖊

Anyone else get lost on this ship yet? I was walking around this morning after having breakfast in one of the little cafes and thought I was heading back towards my room but instead I ended up at the casino and that’s where I’ve been for the last few hours. I think I’m trapped here now. I’m scared to leave in case I end up even more lost so if you hear about a crazy Australian losing a lot of money then that’ll be me. I’m ready to be rescued and taken to a bar if anyone wants to save me.

A pro-tip: just sit down and cry and people will feel bad for you and help you. It’d probably work double for you ‘cause you’re pretty AND a boy, and when a boy cries, oof, you  know it’s real.

Hey, so like… anyone seen a captain hat? I’m missing mine! I’m not saying it was stolen, but I’ve got a handsome reward in mind for whoever brings it back to me. It’s a precious family heirloom – okay, less ‘family heirloom’ and more ‘cool thing I bought at a gas station on tour,’ but Henry’s as good as family now, you know? Any clues are appreciated, thank you.

...if it’s still missing, call me to join the hunt. We’ll Scooby Squad this ish.

I hope you know that we are all here for you. Well at least most hours of the night I am if you need someone to talk to. 

... you are genuinely so sweet that I don’t know what to do with my hands right now. But thank you. And please, please, pleeeease know that feeling is so mutual.

I understand that so well, I went through some dark, dark times before Reputation and how scary it was to be alone and writing and it’s hard. If you ever need someone to talk to you always have me.

...you are actually the absolute coolest and I don’t think I tell you enough how much I appreciate you. It’s just... a lot, yeah. And it feels weird to ... I guess, be in any dark place when we’re living our dreams. It feels wrong, almost? I don’t know. I don’t make sense. But thank you, Tay. So much.

Hi, I feel this deep to my core. When you get that itch, it pretty much consumes your livelihood and well-being. It’s a cathartic but also wildly stressful part of what we do? I’ve got full songs written that I can’t put any instrumentals to unless I’m in that particular mood again. And then there are instances where I’m in a certain mood for months at a time and the songs I write are way too on-the-nose to release, so ya can’t win for losing. Madrid is where it’s at, for real. Pick me up something nice, okay? Give me snugs when you get back.

...have I told you lately how much I adore you? Because yes, that. All of that. Unless I’m somehow able to twist it around and make it into something hopeful with the instrumentals, but that... takes a lot of mental work. A lot. We’ll have to share notebooks one of these days. Have a big cry sesh, yanno. I picked you up some fun things, I’ll give you those and ALL the snugs!

That’s super normal…I’m sure. I write shit all the time and I’m like “yikes, tyler…go to bed.” and then I sleep for awhile and wake up and don’t remember writing what I wrote. What are you doing out it Madrid? I want to go to Milan. Invite me to Milan, Chrissy.

RIGHT? Like, it all seems so dark and hopeless and why, hello. No, thank you. I always remember writing it, but it just feels like another ... version of me wrote it. It’s weird. I was out on tour! Doing the singing thing. Performing in the rain, getting sick, probably. No big. You can always come along on tour, dude! We’ve got extra beds.

Nah, not weird at all. I think it’s normal for a lot of people. It’s better to get it out than let it stay in though, right? Even if you don’t remember it when you’re feeling better. It’s like some unknown weight lifted off your shoulders. Eat tons of pasta for me while you’re in Italy.

Right! I’ve tried the bottled up nonsense, it never really worked for me. I’m too small for too many emotions at once, it’s exhausting. You’re spot on, though-- and thank you for not making me feel insane. I ate LOADS. Enough for like, a year’s worth of cheat days just for you.

I’ve never been manic depressed…but I hit a low point when I got divorced and when I look back at those lyrics I wrote I can’t relate anymore either. I think it’s normal for us to feel things so deeply when we’ve got this connect to our feelings in the way writers do. I hope you’re doing alright. If you ever need someone to talk to when it’s 3 AM and you should probably be asleep, feel free to text me. I’m usually up. Madrid sounds awesome! What are you doing out there?

I think it’s pretty similar, even though it might not be at all-- but. The low points against the contrasting highs, it’s always... kind of crazy to look back on, right? But you’re so right, maybe it’s really a super heavy writers kind of thing. We’re so used to pouring everything we are into our lyrics that you can really tell what life is like. I’m alright now, but I’ll remember that in the future and know I’m so grateful for it! I hope you’re doing a lot better now more regularly, too. And if you ever need a chat, I”m just as here for you. I was in Madrid for tour! Living the absolute dream.

I can completely relate to this but I think it’s completely normal. The brain is a weird organ we have. But, if you ever need to talk, I’m always available, love. I’m jealous of Madrid even if I feel as if I shouldn’t because we just finished Aladdin press and that was a whirlwind. Make sure you eat all of the brilliant food for me and then tell me all about it.

It’s so trippy, yeah? When you look at how maybe even just a couple of hours can make such a huge difference in how your brain is looking at the world. Thank you, though, beautiful! I ate oodles. If you’re on the cruise, I’ll show you all my food blogger-quality pics!

I get it. I don’t really write lyrics because I’m terrible with writing music but I know I’ve wrote stuff down before when I’ve been anxious and depressed and then when I’m feeling better, I’ll look at it and wonder what the hell was going on. I think it’s a good idea to get it out, though! Better than holding it in and just letting it grow and grow even if you have no idea what you’re saying when you’re in a better mood. Aw, man. You’re in Italy? I’m jealous.

It’s always better to get it out of your head, and even if it’s something you might have to come across later, I think it’s a lot better than just... sweeping it under the rug, I guess. Just baffling that one day I can be in some dark hole with no idea of an escape, and a couple of days later I’m singing about how beautiful the world can be. Funny, right? I’m happy to not be alone, though. I ate loads of pasta in your honor, no worries!

Vanessa: Have fun on the cruise!!

Vanessa: I'm trying to imagine being on it without wanting to throw up but I hope it's a blast!

Vanessa: Also keep sometime at the end of June free of plans.

Chrissy: Hi, I wish you were here.

Chrissy: Just know I'll be singing HSM as I weep that all teen me's dreams are coming true.

There’s no better feeling than sitting by the pool after a hard days work with a big glass of wine. It’s 2019 and I’m all about treating myself this year. Sometimes you work too hard and forget to take care of yourself but I’m trying to be better at that. The keyword there is trying. How does everyone else treat themselves after a hard day? Bubble baths are also a go-to for me and looking at pictures of goats.

Ameeeen! I mean, I’m not really a “by the pool” person, but I’m totally a “big glass of wine” person. Do you have a favorite kind of wind or is the answer just “all”? But definitely, I’m happy to hear you’re taking care of yourself! ... I eat dessert after bad days. Drink wine. Write aimlessly. Those sort of things. Do you have a goat?! Do you want one?

So, after a six-hour long conversation with my mother today I’ve learned two things: One, my mother is way too obsessed with becoming a grand parent and two, if I don’t come up with any kids for her before thirty she’s gonna absolutely lose her shit. What I’m trying to say is for the sake of my sanity – hit me up men of L.A, I’m a catch.

Does your mom not believe in animals being grandchildren? ‘cause if so, I am... so sorry.

So in the bit of free time I have I’ve started re-watching How I Met Your Mother and I just…wish I hadn’t? It sucks you in, makes you think it’s fine to only watch one more episode and next thing you know it’s been 5 hours and all you have to show for it is an empty bag of Cheetos. Anyways, hi, I’m Tessa and I’n horrible with introductions so take this ‘relatable content’ instead. That’s what the kids call it, right?

I think that’s part of why I don’t try to binge things, ‘cause losing track of time is way, waaaay too easy. And even though I wanna be able to have show discussions with people, I just can’t commit or I’ll go missing for a week and my mom will send out a search party. Which wouldn’t be fun. Probaly. Hi, Tessa! very relatable content, don’t worry. I’m Chrissy!

Does anyone else find wrapping gifts like soothing? Or am I just weird? If this acting thing ever fell through I think I would just open a store to wrap gifts for people. I love it. It’s my dads birthday tomorrow and if he does not appreciate my fine wrapping skills then I will be heartbroken. Seriously, if anyone needs anything wrapped cause I am down to do it. 

... somewhat at first? But by the end, I’m mostly stressed. If it’s not perfect, I can’t handle it and if the paper isn’t GOOD paper, I’m doomed to fail and I can’t fail. I’m not emotionally equipped to fail. You know? Is that weird? Either way, I know you’re not alone, though! If anything, there’s probably a bunch of people out there that love doing six inch ribbon curls!