mvp player

Yes, Dave, let’s invite absolutely everyone to the Olive Garden because abject humiliation will increase chances of what we’re planning.

if were gonna do a whole awkward friend and family affair at a piss poor imitation of an italian restaurant id have picked bucca di beppo for their group sized portions i mean

I’ll need plenty of it to step foot in an Olive Garden. The tabloids need to think that this is a drunken mistake, not a plan we made. I refuse to be associated with willing consumption of horribly fake Italian food because I have some distant, tiny standards.

im sure gordon ramsay will weep openly at a public conference held tomorrow to discuss the sudden and abrupt loss of our already questionable standards by willfully entering an olive garden without the looming threat of death and torture to motivate us

I’ll start packing my bags immediately for my voyage on the good construction implement There Is A Slight Chance I Will Needle You Mercilessly About Your Star-Crossed Bullfuckery.

I actually suggest that we drink it out of completely unsuitable glasses that aren’t disposable. Water glasses. Offend absolutely every wine nerd on multiple levels.

well i got out a water glass for you and my sweet red crayola sippy cup for myself

Footie Pajamas

Great!!!! By t)(e way, sorry for not cutting t)(e post. I am stuck on mobile. 38(

given that you aint spillin gallons of sea puns my way i think the tumblr community at large can handle the occasional tiny trio of posts before i sweep on in and neatly snip everything tidy and clean like the upstanding netizen i strive to be

you know its time to get sleazy when you bypass the higher quality multi thousand dollar import wines for cheap walmart boxbooze