Haverst on Instagram

“It was the end of a sixteen-year marriage. I’d just turned 50. I wasn’t young anymore. And I knew what it was like to be single in New York; I didn’t feel equipped to do it again. We started the divorce process a week before the pandemic hit. None of my usual coping mechanisms were available. I couldn’t get a drink with friends, or go to the gym, or go for a run. I was just doing my best to white knuckle through. I’m part of a Facebook Group called ‘Hoo’s Getting Fit,’ for Black UVA Alumni. Normally we post our fitness goals and achievements. But during COVID it became much more about emotional support. It was Bryon that had the idea to do a zoom happy hour after work. I knew him a little. We’d met once during college, at a frat party. We actually still have the photos from that night. His happy hour was well attended. And since we all had this shared college experience, things got intimate pretty quickly. People were sharing personal things: my parents are ill, my child is immunocompromised, my marriage is falling apart. Bryon sent me a personal message after I shared my story. He said: ‘I also know what that’s like, when you think you can love enough for the two of you.’ He was much further along in his divorce process, so our first few phone calls were a lot of me dumping my shit on him. He started checking in on me. We spoke every day, then multiple times a day. He was pretty open from the beginning: ‘I can’t believe anyone would ever leave you. I really want to take you to dinner.’ After nine months he drove up from DC. He’d always had a full beard in our video calls. But he showed up clean shaven. It was a warm summer night. The restaurants had just begun to reopen, so we ate outside at an Italian restaurant. I took a photo of the way he was looking at me. After dinner we took a walk through the West Village. It was a warm summer night. I was wearing a sun dress. He made me feel so feminine. He held my hand. He got me flowers. He walked on the outside of the sidewalk, which I hadn’t seen since my father. It all made me feel so beautiful, and desired, and young again. I felt courted. That’s it. I’d forgotten how that felt: to be courted.”

https://www.wikiart.org/en/gustave-moreau/the-park-and-the-angel-of-death-1890

Eartha Kitt with her daughter Kitt McDonald

𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐦 ✨

jasmine daniels