The lost quotes of Chris Benoit

God damn I hate Turks. They smell, they're violent, and they're dumb. Kinda like Scot Steiner except Scotty actually smelt pretty god damn good. Mmm it's like I can smell him now fuck yeaaaah.

That's right I'm a crack addict, You heard me I'm a crack addict, I'M ADDICTED TO CRACKIN SKULLS WHEN PUNKS START STATIC

We need more wrestlers like doink the clown. There is nothing I fear more than a clown giving me a bronco buster considering a very similar thing happened to me as a child except the clown was naked and there was no bronco involved. He did buster nut all over my body though. What a manuver!

I spin more rhymes than a lazy-susan, And I'm innocent til my guilt is proven. Peace.

I wrote this song for my main man Eddie G. Step one, you say, "We need to talk." He walks, you say, "Sit down. It's just a talk." He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame You begin to wonder why you came Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Let him know that you know best 'Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along Pray to God, he hears you And I pray to God, he hears you And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life How to save a life How to save a life Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life How to save a life How to save a life Word to my n words

Lobbied for him to be in the main event at mania 20 but they didn't do it because apparently people had concerns that he wasn't actually that good at chess. But boy howdy was he sexayyyy. Mmmmmmmmm bubba give me tha cheese

When Eddie died back in '05 I was really down in the dumps. I would just randomly burst into tears at any given moment. One night backstage I was alone in tears and Michael PS Hayes came up to me and said to me "Hey Chris what's wrong dude?" I replied "can't get it off my mind man." What he said next changed my life for ever. He said "hey brother, if it's about Eddie... less upsetti, more spaghetti!" And just waked off smiling. It was at that point that I knew I had to murder my family and kill myself.

God I love chicken chips

Sami Zayn sucks

Chris Benoit

I once said to Vince McMahon "I know your secret cockboy." Booked to win the 2004 Royal Rumble the next day. Thanks for the tip Shawn.

"Sometimes you gotta kill your family to realise you gotta kill yourself"

"It took me like 4 months to realise Muhammad Hassan wasn't really a Jew Terrorist."

Chris BenFUCKENoit

“What have you been up to today Mr. Benoit?” “I can’t tell you now buddy but just know… I did it for The Rock.”