(through gritted teeth) i love being out of my comfort zone it is necessary for my personal development

"my child is fine" your child is still running their tumblr blog from middle school

Reality is literally insane. You notice this when you go to ALDI

they hate me because im gay :/ also i have been murdering the locals but mostly because of the gay thing

& I can run around on all fours but I don’t

t shirt that says I HATE COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY

i cant believe that ‘im such a top i’ve never submitted to anything, ESPECIALLY not stoplights’ is a real canon sentiment expressed by a real canon death note character

There's a lot of games from our childhood people still talk about However, what's a game you were OBSESSED with as a kid but see no one talk about nowadays? Mine were super princess peach, mario hoops 3on3 and bomberman land touch

hot girls (me) use tumblr to be publicly insane

If I give you half my kinder bueno don‘t ever question my love for you

reblog if freud would have diagnosed you with female hysteria in the 1800s

Dating me is fun. You get a comedian, a mental patient and a pornstar all in one.

I wanna hire an evil advisor so bad. I want to pay some gay-coded little man to creep around my house saying ominous things and smirking to himself and punctuating every sentence with an evil little laugh while I pretend to be totally oblivious. And of course I ignore his evil advice, but I always have an excuse as to why, and he unconvincingly pretends to be okay with it, but later that night I hear him having an absolute meltdown in his room until he comes up with a new evil plan and bursts into a musical number that ends with maniacal laughter which continues for about 10 minutes