Child Liberation

This logic is flawed because it ignores developmental stages. Developmental stages in minors are not the same as with adults (with exceptions for older minors, such as a 15 year old with a 18 year old, a 17 year old and a 19 year old, etc.)

A person can only intimately consent to someone within their own developmental stage. A good rule of thumb for minors consenting is 3ish years.

For example, it is predatory for a 15 year old to engage with a 10 year old, but it is fine for a 15-year-old to engage with a 13-year-old, and a 10-year-old to engage with a 12-year-old.

If you ask a 9 year old what intimacy means vs a 15 year old what intimacy means, their answers will be vastly different from each other, because their developmental understanding of intimacy is not aligned. They are in different stages of life.

As for the labor statement, child labor has proven harm for minors. Children's bodies are still developing, and they are more likely to be harmed by the environment and strain than an adult would be. Not to mention, it is often beyond the scope of what their minds can handle, and leads to mental illness.

Child labor inherently puts kids at risk of mental & physical disability, illnesses, stunted growth, and steals time away from them that should be spent on childhood development.

Children need the space to play, learn, and form social connections, and expecting them to take on labor causes deficits in all of those things (ie; most children subjected to labor are not in school, because they do not have the time/energy to be.)

Additionally, child labor is harmful because children (pre-teenage) cannot fully grasp the labor they are agreeing to, and are more subject to manipulation, thus meaning that they are incapable of consenting to labor.

Quote from "Challenges and perspectives of child labor" [link]

Forced child labor is unethical because it is against the autonomy of the children. The consent of the working child is mostly manipulated by the parents. To give consent, a child needs to understand the situation, the consequences, and voluntarily agree to work. Children of young age, who have a less than fully competent capacity, can assent to an action by getting involved in the decision-making process. Children fall easy victims to unfair job conditions, and they do not have the power to stand-up against mistreatments. The maleficence of this act has long-term physical, psychological, behavioral, and societal consequences. Even if they are lacking the competency of making informed decisions, they are considered individuals with autonomy that should be protected and safeguarded.

Quote from "Child labour has a profound impact on the health and wellbeing of children" [link]

Children involved in child labour are more likely to experience worse health outcomes also later in life. The impact of hazardous work can cause profound and long-lasting health problems, that may only become evident in adulthood. This makes them difficult to measure or even prove. Cancer, infertility and chronic backpain are just some of the possible long-term negative health outcomes. The consequences are worsened by poverty and the lack of efficient health and social security schemes. There is also the potential impact of child labour on individuals mental health.

Quote from "Understanding Child Labour: Causes and Impacts" [link]

Child labour can have devastating, long-term effects on children. This includes both physical and mental damage, exploitation and, in some cases, death. Nearly every child impacted by child labour loses access to schooling and therefore their right to an education. This has a serious impact on their future as children who were forced into labour are often left with no choice but to continue the cycle and, due to their lack of education, are unable to create a better future for themselves and their families.

Quote from "What is child labour?" [link]

The confusing bit (to me) is that children aren't always able to make decisions that are good and safe, and therefore need to be forced to do things that they don't want to do. When I was a kid, if it were up to me whether or not I got my vaccines, (or went to the dentist, or the doctor's, or whatever) I would have said no. I'm glad that choice wasn't in my hands, but it was also a violation of my bodily autonomy, as I was forced to receive treatment that I didn't want or consent to.

Similarly, I was often in places online where I wasn't supposed to be, and hanging out with people who I shouldn't have been hanging out with, and I wish my parents would have forced me to stop, even though it would have embarrassed and upset me.

I didn't know what was good for me, I couldn't make informed decisions for myself, not because I didn't have the information, but because I was a child who struggled with conceptualizing consequences and didn't recognize when I was in inappropriate or dangerous situations.

All of this to say: how is it possible to simultaneously keep a child safe and respect their autonomy when children are often unable to make safe choices for themselves?

I realize that I'm slippery-sloping this a little bit, but I hope none of this comes off as bad faith or like I'm trying to have a "gotcha" moment.

Hi!

So, there's something widely misunderstood in the topic of autonomy for minors, especially for children. The misunderstanding is that respecting their autonomy = letting them make decisions all on their own, which is NOT what true youth liberation suggests.

What youth liberation suggests is that adults should *work together* with minors in terms of medical decisions, rather than making the choices *for them.*

For minors, the goal of caregivers and health professionals should be:

1- Explaining to minors why something is happening to them. Not informing children of WHY they are going through an appointment or procedure is *traumatizing.* You can always find simple ways to explain to them what the purpose of it all is. A lot of the main trauma of vaccines, medical procedures, dentist appointments, etc is that children are not informed of why its happening. If a minor is refusing, try to reach a compromise - find ways to make it as comfortable as possible, and reward them for going through it. Try to minimize what makes the procedure scary, and if need be, offer the ability for anesthetics to make it easier. 2- Not doing cosmetic procedures on minors, and avoiding doing unnecessary medical procedures on intersex variations and deformities. Our headmate Kris made a very good post about this [link.] 3- Never denying a minor the right to (non-cosmetic) healthcare. If a minor is suffering or worried about their health, there should NEVER be an excuse to say no to getting them help. 4- Offering all minors, regardless of gender identity, the ability to choose their own puberties (HRT) and the ability to hold off on puberty if they are unsure (hormone blockers.)

As for your other input about going online - the goal of youth liberation is to create safe online spaces, and for adults to properly educate and be there for minors in terms of their internet usage.

Here is a post we've made about that: Parental controls and age verification are ineffective; so what is the solution? [link]

Hopefully this could answer your questions sufficiently!

Because under the post about giving minors the right to medically consent, people are spreading a ton of misinformation on this - largely because they just do not question the stuff they just assume are "normal". Which here is: "kids are all afraid of needles and therefore if we let them consent or not to medical proceedures, they would just not consent and not get vaccinations, because needles hurt".

And, look. Here is the thing: no, needles do not actually hurt a whole lot. And while, yes, certain procedures that involve being stabbed by a needle hurt more if you are younger for a bunch of reasons... that is actually not the main reason children fear needles. Because, again: the pain is not that bad. And most kids, especially young kids, whose motor skills are still developing, usually will have a bunch more hurting scratches, bruises and the like at any given moment than there will be pain from the needle.

No, from what research can tell, the main reason kids are afraid of needles, is more that for many of them needle procedures are very traumatizing. And that is largely because of the consent issue.

Imagine you are a person who is still pretty darn new to that whole human thing. So for one, yes, your brain is actually not that great in understanding what pain is dangerous and what pain is a safe limit of pain. So yes, someone intentionally hurting you (like with a needle) is really kinda scary. But then there is also the thing where this person hurting you is not telling you why they are doing. The people who you normally trust with keeping you safe (your family) is betraying you, by just holding you down and scolding you for crying over it. Or maybe it is not your family, but some strange nurse who is holding you. And while you are scared, because someone is intentionally hurting you, while someone else is restricting you, the adults around you are telling you, that your emotional reaction to this is actually bad and you are wrong for reacting that way. They might in fact lie to you and tell you that something that is insanely scary to you is "not that bad", instead of just understanding that it is super scary to you. And that is then what you start to expect whenever you see a doctor prepare a needle: people holding you down, hurting you without reason, and telling you that you are wrong for being upset, actively gaslighting you.

We have research on this. And this research is pretty clear: most kids are actually somewhat okay with needles, if you inform them why you are doing it, allow for them to have their emotions, talk to them about their emotions, and allow for them to set at least some conditions.

And frankly, I hate how many people just accept the framing of "kids are naturally afraid of this because it hurts". Like, folks, I know y'all are fucking Americans and that in your culture it is kinda normalized to like put kids into like some sort of fortified hamsterball to stop them from like doing typical kids stuff. But... let me tell you: if you do not do that, kids will actually very regularly engage in dangerous play that they know will often end up in injuries that are going to hurt. And, no, they are not to dumb to understand that. The kids know that this is what might happen because of their play. They actually just take the risk. Yes, they will cry if they get hurt, because - again - their nervous system is still calibrating how it relates to pain. But they will likely do that thing again and again. I can tell you: I fell down a tree so often during my childhood, and I still climbed it. Again and again. So did most kids I knew. Like, fuck, we lived next to a forest. We played "Tarzan", and tried to go along paths without touching the ground. And we fell. A lot. And we still did it.

look up “child life specialists”

— the profession is fully dedicated to supporting kids and families in the health care setting, and a significant portion of that is educating kids (in a way they can understand, developmentally) and making plans With them to make the experience easier!

And there is SO MUCH research out there! If you explain to kids what’s going on, they need less anesthesia, get better quicker, and have less medical trauma— which leads to a willingness to accept preventative care in the future!

(For context, I am a teen born and raised in America with a Central European mother)

In America there seems to be this extreme taboo against anyone that isn’t a junior in high school or older student drinking. Like I’ve told my friends I hate the taste of alcohol and they’re shocked I even got to try a single sip (It was lemonchello and beer btw. Weak stuff!!!)

I think it’s crazy because why aren’t parents teaching their kids about alcohol? By giving sips they can recognize the taste (helping prevent accidental drinking) and normalize it so it doesn’t become this mysterical drink you get at 21 that no one actually knows how to properly drink because TEENS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO RESPONSIBLY DRINK. The ONLY reason I know how to properly drink (in theory I hate the taste) is because of my mom not being raised with this stigma and telling us about the one drink per hour rule when we asked!!

I just find it so strange how that me knowing the taste of alcohol at age 13 was a shock

No, you're completely right. The way alcohol is treated for minors in the USA is not only adultist and dangerous, but also ableist towards people with substance use disorder.

Minors should be allowed to have small amounts of alcohol to recognize the taste, and also to decrease the tantalization of it that often leads to alcohol use disorder. If alcohol is treated as some unobtainable, adult-exclusive thing, minors are more likely to sneakily get their hands on it and overindulge.

And, as you said, treating it as normal and teaching about how to drink responsibly prevents teenagers and early adults from irresponsible consumption!

This, ofc, doesn't go for all addictive substances, as some drugs can have really severe impacts on minors health, but the solution to that is to stop fear mongering and demonizing its consumption, because again, that tantalizes them to want to try it out of rebellion. And it also prevents minors who have become addicted from getting help, because they are afraid of legal trouble and/or institutionalization.

Legalizing drug use has proven to decrease rates of addiction (just research the results of Portugal's decriminalization of drugs; the number of heroin addicts dropped from 100,000 to 25,000, which was HUGE!) because more people can get help without legal trouble and less people are being tempted to taste the "forbidden fruit" so to say.

Even if they have genuinely loving families that don't neglect them, which is rare, children are still put under constant abuse from every other aspect of their life. They're living on ultra-mega-hard-mode. Emotions are understandable.

I also completely understand people who can't be around loud children, or who hate it when a kid breaks down crying or screaming in a store or a restaurant. I hate it when a kid breaks down crying or screaming in a restaurant or store. Like, that's not an unreasonable feeling to have when someone is making an uncomfortable amount of noise. I get it. You don't want that kid to be crying or screaming any more than they want to be doing it.

Children are capable of understanding more than we give them credit for. Teaching kids to be kind is important, but so is teaching them to recognize patterns of unfairness.

Also funny side note: my father and stepmother have told my mom that I’m an awful liar, and then have gotten shocked when she told them “that’s because they don’t feel like they have to lie to me”. I don’t lie to my mom because she has never make me feel like it’s the safer option. Other adults make lying feel like the safe option, but not with my mom. She has always said “you will get in less trouble with me if you tell the truth, not matter what”, and she has kept that promise throughout my entire 18 years of life.

I have a pretty great mom… but now I’m very defiant towards other adults because I’m used to being treated like an actual person and not an object. I suppose there are worst things to be.

I don't know about online courses, but I do know a lot of resources you can look over about specific topics!

Many of these come from planned parenthood, which is overall a very good resource in terms of sex, reproduction, and related concepts.

WARNING: Some of these sources use pericisbinary normative language (ie; referring to people with vaginas as "women", referring to people with penises as "male", etc), so be mindful of that going in. I tried my best to find MOSTLY gender-inclusive sources, though.

---

Anatomy & Sex Terminology

[PT: Anatomy & Sex Terminology /End PT]

Here are some discussions of peritypical anatomy (apologies for the use of "female" and "male"):

Peritypical penis & wolffian duct [link] Peritypical vulva & mullerian duct [link]

Let's get into sex hormones. When describing the hormones of someone, rather than using gendered language, it is best to use the terms Androgenizing, Estrogenizing, Micro-Androgenizing, Micro-Estrogenizing, Androestrogenizing, and Micro-Androestrogenizing.

-An estrogenized hormone profile is when the body prioritizes its response to estrogen or manually receives estrogen, meaning the person will develop estrogenizing characteristics. This often includes breast growth, widened hips, and a higher pitched voice. A micro-estrogenized hormone profile is when the body has a minor but noticeable response to estrogen, meaning they will develop some estrogenizing characteristics.  Someone Expected To Estrogenize (SETE) describes a person (perisex or intersex) who is physically or societally expected to naturally estrogenize during puberty. This could be micro-estrogenization, average estrogenization, or hyperestrogenization. Sometimes, this expectation may be inaccurate, if the person has unpredicted hyperandrogenism (high androgens) or hypoestrogenism (low estrogen).

-An androgenized hormone profile is when the body prioritizes its response to androgens or manually receives androgens, meaning the person will develop androgenizing characteristics. This often includes phallus growth, higher muscle mass, increased body/facial hair, and a deepened voice. A micro-androgenized hormone profile is when the body has a minor but noticeable response to androgens, meaning they will develop some androgenizing characteristics. Someone Expected To Androgenize (SETA) describes a person (perisex or intersex) who (without the influence of HRT, physical damage, or tumors) is expected to androgenize during puberty. This could be micro-androgenization, average androgenization, or hyperandrogenization. Sometimes, this expectation may be inaccurate, if the person has unpredicted hyperestrogenism (high estrogen) or hypoandrogenism (low androgens). 

-An androestrogenized hormone profile is when the body prioritizes androgens and estrogen near-equally or in fluctuating amounts, or manually receives varying levels of both. This means they will develop a mixture of androgenizing and estrogenizing characteristics - which could cause any combination of secondary sex traits. Micro-androestrogenizing describes the body having a minor but noticeable response to both estrogen and androgens, meaning they will develop some androestrogenizing characteristics. Someone Expected To Androestrogenize (SETAE) describes a person (perisex or intersex) who (without the influence of HRT, physical damage, or tumors) is expected to androestrogenize during puberty. This could be micro-androestrogenization, average androestrogenization, or hyperandroestrogenization. Sometimes, this expectation may be inaccurate, if the person has unpredicted hypogonadism (low sex hormone production).  -Someone Without Puberty Expectations (SWPE) describes a person who (without the influence of HRT or tumors), is not expected to experience any puberty. This is usually due to having bilateral gonadal agenesis, gonads that are fully streaked and/or too small to produce sex hormones, or similar variations.

We are currently in progress of creating the intersex visual guide, which will be out on October 26th this year, so keep an eye out for that It goes VERY in depth about intersexuality, and we hope it will become a very popular resource!

(Volunteers are still desired, reach out if you're interested! [link])

In the meantime, here are some sex terminology:

-Perisex (sometimes also called Endosex or Dyadic): A person/creature with the most commonly viewed natal sex traits within their species. For humans, this includes SPETE and SPETA. -SPETE (Someone Perisex Expected To Estrogenize): A perisex person with XX chromosomes, who natally developed a vulva, two average-sized (or large) ovaries, a single average-sized (or large) uterus, two fallopian tubes, and (without the influence of HRT, physical damage, or tumors) is expected to estrogenize (at a typical range) during puberty. Their vulva will have two labia minora with a clitoral hood, two labia majora, a single pea-sized clitoris, a single moderate (or deep) vaginal entry, and a urethra between the vaginal entry and the clitoris. It may or may not have a hymen that surrounds the vagina, covering it minimally. -SPETA (Someone Perisex Expected To Androgenize): A perisex person with XY chromosomes, who natally developed a moderate (or large) penis, two moderately-sized (or large) testicles within the scrotum, an average-sized prostate, two vas deferens, two average-sized seminal vesicles, and (without the influence of HRT, physical damage, or tumors) is expected to androgenize (at a typical range) during puberty. Their penis will have a phallus, a scrotum beneath the phallus, foreskin protecting the head of the phallus, and a urethra on the tip of the penis. It is straight or slightly curved when erect.

-Cosexual: A species whose perisex standard is being capable of both fertilization and egg production at the same time. (Ie; Snails, slugs, certain fish, etc.) -Dualsex: A species whose perisex standard is having mixed sex traits, typically both a penis and a vagina, though other combinations may apply as well. This usually refers to fictional species.

-Intersex: A person/creature with natal sex traits (as in, sex traits that are not from physical damage, surgery, or HRT) that do not fall within their perisex norm. Usually this refers to natal primary sex traits (sex chromosomes, sex hormones, genitalia, and/or reproductive organs), but some people consider natal secondary sex traits (breasts, nipples, etc) to be intersex as well. In humans, intersex describes the following: -Mixed genitals. -Mixed reproductive organs. -Small/absent/undeveloped/hidden genitals. -Small/absent/undeveloped reproductive organs. -Split/duplicated genitals or reproductive organs. -Penises or vulvas with an atypical appearance (ie; genitals that have a urethra higher/lower than typical, a vulva with a urethra or anus that merges into the vagina, a scrotum that is around or atop the penis, a penis that is curved downwards when erect, etc.) -High levels or sensitivity to sex hormones. -Low levels or sensitivity to sex hormones. -Unresponsiveness to sex hormones. -"Mismatched" sex chromosomes. -SRY-negative XY chromosomes. -SRY-positive XX chromosomes. -More than two sex chromosomes. -Less than two sex chromosomes (0X).

Dysex: A person with atypical primary sex traits caused by non-natal events (ie; labial hypertrophy from pregnancy, gynecomastia from fatness, a person with hyperestrogenism from tumors, etc), minor atypicalities in primary sex traits (ie; a minorly bicornuate uterus), or atypical secondary sex traits (ie; extra nipples, no breasts, etc) who does not feel as though the label of "intersex" fits them. This is considered the grey area between intersex and perisex. Ersex: A person who is unsure of whether they are intersex or perisex, due to physical events that could have changed their sex traits. (Ie; A person who had an accident that could have potentially injured their ovaries, and they have no way to tell if their low levels of estrogen are a result of their accident, or if they have an intersex variation that causes hypoestrogenism.)

Notes:

1- Perisex, intersex, dysex, and ersex are not labels a person can "transition" into, as they describe natal sex, not internal sex identities. So a perisex person cannot "transition to intersex", an intersex person can't have their intersexuality "removed" from them through procedures, etc.

2- A lot of people think that the terms AMAB/assigned male at birth and AFAB/assigned female at birth can be used interchangeably with SPETA & SPETE. But the reality is that intersex people get assigned male and assigned female all the time, and that AGAB doesn't actually explain anything about a person's anatomy.

Additionally, it also doesn't tell you anything about how someone was raised, because some people are assigned male but later reassigned female, assigned female but later reassigned male, assigned male/female but later reassigned as neither (ie; a cultural gender), or just raised in opposition to how they are assigned (ie; a parent disagrees with a doctor about their kid being AFAB, and socially imposes maleness on the child instead.) AGAB only communicates one thing - what is written on a birth certificate.

You can read more about the misuse of AGAB here [link.]

---

Sexual arousal, sexual attraction, libido, & sexual activity

[PT: Sexual activity, sexual attraction, libido, & sexual activity /end PT]

Sexual arousal vs sexual attraction vs libido:

Sexual Attraction is a sexual desire for someone/something. This generally includes a desire for touching/groping and/or enacting kinks/fetishes that provide sexual pleasure. Libido describes a body’s physical desire for sex. This differs from sexual attraction, because sexual attraction is directed at someone/something, meanwhile libido is the body craving sexual release. Libido and sexual attraction can align for people who experience both, however they can also occur unaligned. Sexual Arousal describes the body’s physical response to touch in a sexually sensitive area, or the body’s physical response to sexual attraction or libido. This includes genital arousal (wetness, erections, heat, etc), and/or physical responsiveness elsewhere in the body (ie; blushing.) A person can experience sexual arousal while not experiencing sexual attraction or a libido spike (ie; a person who is accidentally touched on their crotch may grow aroused, even if they do not find the person who touched them to be attractive.) Arousal is not the same as desire, as a person can be aroused and distressed or uncomfortable by their arousal.

If you want to learn more about sexual orientations, you can check out this post [link] and this post [link]!

Here are some resources about oral sex:

Everything you need to know about oral sex [link] Are there any health concerns associated with giving someone oral sex while they're menstruating? [link]

Here are some resources about penis-in-vagina sex:

How to have vaginal sex [link] Guide to vaginal sex [link] Note 1: "Breaking the hymen" is a myth. Penetration should not "break" anything. Peritypical hymens stretch and loosen, not break. Note 2: Vaginal penetration should not hurt or cause bleeding. It may be mildly uncomfortable initially, but that discomfort should not remain. If either of those things are happening, it means one or multiple of the following: -You do not have enough lube and/or aren't fully turned on. -There is some type of sexual dysfunction going on. -There is an intersex variation in play. Here are some vaginal & hymenal variations that are often noted to cause complications with penetration: >Vulvar hypospadias positioned close to the vaginal entry (a urethra that is directly above or side-by-side the vagina) or persistent urogenital sinus (a vagina & urethra merged together), in which case the urethral tissue might be getting irritated by penetration. >Vaginal hypoplasia (a shallow and/or narrow vagina) >Imperforate hymen (a hymen that fully blocks the entry). >Microperforate hymen (a hymen that only has a small entrance). >Sleeve hymen (a hymen with excess tissue, which might block the entry.) >Septate hymen (a hymen that stretches across the middle of the vagina, giving the impression of two or more vaginal entries.) >Transverse vaginal septum (a non-hymenal wall of tissue that is horizontally blocking part or all of the vagina.) >Longitudinal vaginal septum (a non-hymenal wall of tissue that vertically splits the vagina partially or fully into multiple entries.) >Obstructed hemivagina (a non-hymenal wall of tissue that starts off horizontal but curves upwards, creating a pouch inside of the vagina.)

Here are some resources about frotting and scissoring:

A beginners guide to frotting [link] What is frotting? [link] What Is Scissoring? Everything You Need to Know About the Iconic Sex Position [link] What Is Scissoring? An Expert-Backed Guide to the Sex Position [link]

Here are some resources about anal sex:

How to prepare for anal sex: a guide to safer, pleasurable anal play [link] Do you have to use an enema or anal douche before you have anal sex? [link] Note: If you go from anal sex to a different type of sex (ie; anal to vaginal), swap condoms first! You don't want to carry bacteria from one part of the body to another.

Always use the bathroom after sex (of any kind)! It decreases risk of UTIs.

---

Sexual dysfunction

[PT: Sexual dysfunction /End PT]

Here is a breakdown of sexual dysfunction:

Orgasm Disorders are disorders where a person experiences difficulty orgasming, or is unable to enjoy orgasms (for reasons unrelated to physical pain.)

-Sexual Anhedonia/Pleasure Dissociative Orgasmic Disorder is when a person feels little or no pleasure during an orgasm. Their body physically reaches an orgasm (ie; releasing fluids, muscle contractions, possibly moaning/whimpering/grunting, etc,) however the pleasurable chemicals in their brain don’t release. -Anorgasmia is when a person is unable to orgasm, despite being sexually stimulated.

Ejaculation Disorders are a group of conditions that cause difficulty releasing semen at appropriate times. 

Typically, ejaculation can be actively withheld for at least 4-8 minutes (or longer) of active continuous stimulation - for people with PE or DE, this is not the case. 

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is when a person unintentionally releases semen too early into sexual engagement (under 3 minutes.)  Delayed Ejaculation (DE) is when a person cannot release semen until 20-25+ minutes of continued sexual engagement. This could be mild (experiencing ejaculation under specific circumstances), moderate (only ejaculating during oral sex or intercourse with hands), severe (only ejaculating when masturbating), or most severe (being unable to ejaculate at all.) Retrograde Ejaculation (RE) is when a person’s semen flows into the bladder, instead of out of the urethra, during an orgasm. This makes it appear as if they aren’t ejaculating at all, since it doesn’t exit their body. This condition doesn’t cause physical harm or pain, as semen dissolves on its own within their body, however it can make it difficult to impregnate others.

Sexual Arousal Disorder is a condition where a person experiences sexual arousal, but their genitals fail to respond to it, making it difficult or impossible to initiate comfortable sex. 

Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD) is when a person with a vulva cannot become efficiently aroused; either they produce too-little lubrication or their vagina fails to relax. (Personally, we think this should be Vulvar Sexual Arousal Disorder, to avoid the unnecessary gendering.) Erectile Dysfunction/Impotence is when a person with a penis cannot become erect. Their penis may fail to get erect at all, or it may only get partially erect. For people with either FSAD or erectile dysfunction, the sensation in their genitals (or nipples) might also be dulled.

Sexual Pain Disorders: A group of disorders that cause physical pain during sex or after sex.

Dysorgasmia is when a person experiences pain during orgasm, usually in the abdomen area.

Sexual Headaches is when a person experiences headaches during sexual activity. These headaches could be mild, or they could be debilitating. It could last anywhere from a few seconds - 72 hours long. Preorgasmic Headaches are when headaches occur mid-sex, before an orgasm occurs. Orgasmic Headaches are when headaches occur during an orgasm. Postorgasmic Headaches are when headaches occur after an orgasm. 

Genito-Pelvic Pain Disorder/Penetration Disorder is when a person experiences difficulties related to penetrative sex. This includes dyspareunia and vaginismus.

Dyspareunia is when a person experiences pain during penetrative sex. This pain could occur on the outside of the genitals, the inside of the genitals, or in the pelvic area. Vaginismus is when a person (with a vagina) is incapable of relaxing their muscles enough for comfortable penetrative sex (with an object of penetration that otherwise would suit the size of the canal.) Vaginismus has nothing to do with the size of the vagina, but is rather about the vagina being fully incapable of allowing anything of any size inside due to muscle contraction, or being so tight/clenched that it hurts (dyspareunia.)

Postorgasmic Illness Syndrome (POIS) is when a person experiences illness or disorientation after an orgasm. Symptoms may include difficulty understanding language or speaking, difficulty focusing, difficulty with memory, confusion, depression, anxiety, severe dizziness or lightheadedness, severe physical weakness, severe muscle or stomach pain/aches, excessive sweating, allergy-like reactions (congestion, sneezing, itchy or watering eyes or nose, dry throat, etc), and body temperature changes. These symptoms usually begin within 30 minutes post-ejaculation, but in some cases, they could be delayed for hours or even several days post-ejaculation before starting. This could last anywhere between an hour - 2 weeks.

Postcoital Tristesse/Postcoital Dysphoria is when a person experiences emotional distress after (consensual & desired) sexual activity. This could occur after any type of sexual activity, or it could occur in specific types (partnered sexual activity, masturbation, orgasms.) This distress cannot be related to specific kinks/fetishes, or else it would fall under a paraphilic disorder instead. Symptoms may include apathy, despair, guilt, shame, anxiety, panic attacks, frustration/annoyance, anger, or mood swings.

Spontaneous Orgasms is a condition where a person orgasms unexpectedly, without any sexual stimulation. These orgasms could be pleasurable, bland, or uncomfortable/painful.

Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD)/Persistent Genital Arousal Syndrome (PSAS)/Persistent Genital Vasocongestion Disorder/Restless Genital Syndrome (ReGS) is a condition where a person’s genitals are constantly or frequently aroused, even though the person does not desire sex. If a person with PGAD has sex or masturbates, their genitals may calm down for a short period of time, before the arousal flares up again. Their genitals will be erect, swollen, hot, or wet. 

---

UTIs, STDs, lubrication, protection, & birth control

[PT: UTIs, STDs, lubrication, & protection /End PT]

Some information about UTIs (urinary tract infections):

UTIs are infections in the urinary tract (urethra, bladder, ureters, and/or kidneys.) UTIs can have no symptoms, or they can cause pain/burning while urinating, strong urge to urinate, cloudy urine, strong-scented urine, blood in the urine, pelvic pain, nausea/vomiting, and/or fever. If UTIs are recurring, they can damage the urogenital system. Recurring UTIs can also sometimes cause urethra swelling or prolapse, which means the urethra will jut out of the genitals.

Here are some resources about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases):

What are STDs? [link] Safer sex [link]

Here are some resources about lubrication:

Types of lubricants for sex [link] Can you use coconut oil as lube for sex? [link] Notes: 1- Lubrication is very important to prevent injury and discomfort. Not all vaginas produce sufficient lubricants, and anuses usually do not produce any lubricant at all. 2- Oil-based lubes can stain fabric and certain ones (like coconut oil) can damage condoms/protection and latex, so be mindful of what lubrication you use. Oil-based lubes can occasionally damage toys as well. Silicone lube damages many sex toys. Water-based lubes are the only lubrication that are safe for both toys and condoms alike, so they are often the preferable option. 3- Always make sure to check about allergies when it comes to protection and lubrication. The last thing you want is an allergic reaction, especially not in your genital region!

Here are some resources about protection and birth control:

How to pick the perfect condom [link] Note: To get the size correct, measure your (erect) circumference in millimeters and divide that number by 2. That should be the correct size. How to use an internal (vagina) condom [link] How to use or make a dental dam [link] Birth control methods & options [link] What kind of emergency contraception is best for me? [link] Notes: 1- Protection is highly recommended no matter what type of sex you are having. Use condoms, dental dams, and medical gloves and (if you have a functioning uterus) consider whether or not you want to try birth control on top of that. 2- If you decide to start hormone-based birth control, make sure you have your estrogen, androgens, progesterone, sex-hormone binding globulin, and albumin levels checked first. You could be hormonally intersex and unaware, in which case hormonal birth control could have disastrous effects on your body. 3- Hormonal birth control is often used for reasons other than preventing pregnancy. It may also be used to regulate menstrual cycles, or given (consensually or coercively) to intersex people socially imposed as female who are not estrogen-dominant with the intention of estrogenizing them.

---

Menstruation & pregnancy

[PT: Menstruation & pregnancy /end PT]

Here are some resources about [peritypical] menstruation:

What is menstruation? [link] What is a normal menstrual cycle? [link] Symptoms of menstruation [link] PMS symptoms & cramping [link] PMS vs PMDD - what's the difference? [link] How to use menstrual hygiene products [link] Notes: 1- Having debilitating pain during menstrual cycles is a sign of a menstrual disability. Typical cramping is uncomfortable, but it's not unbearable; just a nuisance. 2- Severe nausea is also a sign of menstrual disability. 3- Menstruating does not require blood. A person who is estrogen-dominant that doesn't have a functioning uterus still will often experience menstrual cycles. This isn't universal, but it is common. This means that intersex people without uteruses, peritrans women without uteruses, and perisex enben without uteruses who start estrogenizing HRT may begin to experience all the symptoms of a period. Same for people who have had a hysterectomy - the menstrual cycle may stop for some, but continue for others. Do not assume that menstruation = blood, or that menstruation = uterus.

Here are some resources about [peritypical] pregnancy:

How pregnancy happens [link] Stages of pregnancy [link] Fetal development [link]

---

Other

[PT: Other /end PT]

When it comes to kink and sexual etiquette, I recommend these:

The New Topping Book (in pdf form) [link] The New Bottoming Book (in pdf form) [link] Note: When it comes to kink online, make sure you tag your content properly and add trigger/content warnings. If you are afraid that tagging it directly will get you found and banned, then just write the tags on the post itself, and put the kink content under a "read more" cut.

Important notes about hygiene:

-Clean your sex toys every time! Obviously after use, but it's smart to also clean them before use as well! Be mindful of how you clean them, as some are sensitive to certain chemical components, and be sure not to use soaps that will mess up your PH balance. -Speaking of which, be careful of what soaps you use to clean your genital region! Find PH-balanced soaps if possible, or only clean with water. And do not clean *inside* anything (vagina, urethra, anus, etc.) Your internal body cleans itself, using soap in it will cause damage or infections. -Its a good idea to wash your genitals before and after sex. Be sure to wash the creases of your foreskin/the clitoral hood (if you have any). You don't want gunk building up in there.

---

Consent & sexual violence

[PT: Consent & sexual violence /End PT]

Consent is:

-Fully informed and communicated. Everyone involved is in full agreement, and is aware of what they are saying yes to. Ask questions about any uncertainties to be sure that everyone is on the same page, especially if kink is on the table. -Not manipulated. Do not use guilt, blackmail, social status, or take advantage of someone's vulnerability in order to get what you want. -Not initiated while intoxicated beyond the degree of being in their right mind. Light intoxication is more nuanced, but if a person is so intoxicated that they don't fully understand what is happening, then they are incapable of agreeing to sex or kink in the moment. If you *both* are equally intoxicated, then that's different - not necessarily *safe* (you may forget or misuse protection), but not inherently advantageous of each other. -Not initiated while a person is having a psychological episode that leaves them unable to sufficiently communicate. If they do not fully understand you and/or you do not fully understand them, then engaging cannot be consented to. -Not initiated while unconscious, unless they specifically agreed that you may act while they are unconscious. (Do note that consensual sleep sex is illegal in many locations, but legality =/= morality. For example, some places still have certain forms of BDSM illegal. Doesn't mean BDSM is morally wrong.) -Reinforced/capable of being revoked without bitterness or irritation. Ask every so often "is this okay?" or establish safewords or safe signals (ie; snapping fingers, saying "red light", saying the word "octopus", etc) that signify to stop. You are allowed to feel disappointed that it ended, but do not take that out on the other person and make them feel bad for withdrawing consent. -Not involving unagreed upon force. -Not involving unagreed upon change of protection. Removing or sabotaging protection without the other partners awareness or agreement is a form of assault.

Notes:

-Certain neuropsych disabilities leave people unable to consent. For example, some autistic people are capable of understanding sex enough to consent, while others are not. It just depends on the specific manifestation of disability they have. If they can sufficiently communicate to you , then they can consent (note: communication doesn't have to be verbal. It can also be nodding, shaking head, using AACs, etc. As long as their communication is distinct and understandable, and they understand you, then you can both exchange consent.) -(Chrono) Minors can only consent to those within their own developmental range. For example, it is predatory for a 15 year old to engage with a 10 year old, but it is fine for a 15-year-old to engage with a 13-year-old, and a 10-year-old to engage with a 12-year-old. A good rule of thumb for minors consenting is 3ish years. -(Theriform) Animals cannot consent. -(Theriform) Corpses cannot consent.

What are the forms of sexual violence (SV)?

Sexual assault/SA: When a person touches you in a sexualized manner, forces/coerces you to touch them in a sexualized manner, or forces you to use a sex toy without your consent. Usually this is directed at the genitals, butt, breasts, and mouth, but if a person has a kink for other areas of a persons body (ie; feet), it may involve that as well.

CSA (child sexual assault) describes SA against minors, typically from adults. COCSA (child-on-child sexual assault/abuse) describes SA against minors, from other minors.

Rape: A form of sexual assault where penetration (of a phallus, object, tongue, or fingers) and/or oral was forced/coerced.

Sexual harassment: When a person makes sexual commentary about someone without their consent, makes sexual gestures at someone without their consent, creates or shares sexual content of someone without their consent (ie; nonconsensually taking photos of someone dressing), shows someone sexual content (ie; porn) without their consent, gives a person sexual objects (ie; sex toys) without their consent, and/or coerces a person to engage with something for the sake of sexualization (ie; giving someone a popsicle for the sake of fantasizing about oral sex without their consent, making someone blow up a balloon because they have an inflation kink, etc).

i did not go to school today, and did everything at home. I get up at 4AM almost every weekday for my own convenience and the fact that i often feel like i don't have enough time for myself because of school. Because I am ill, i want to sleep in a lot later but i also know that that won't end well for me! It'll end with me being unhappy and uncomfortable during the school day despite being "well-rested". I do not have enough time to actually sleep because I AM A TEENAGER. i also have a birthday party this weekend (it's mine! yay!!) and am tyring to not be sick by then!! what i'm trying to convey here is that the amount of itme school allows students for sleep is not enough especiall considering the activities that a lto fo teenagers enjoy signed, a teenager whose brain is melting a lil

Minors deserve to have a school system that allows for as many sick days as needed, firstly. Not just because minors can (gasp!) get sick, but also because some minors are (gasp!) have disabilities that can flair up! (Who would have thought? /sarcasm.)

Secondly, minors need a school system that can cater to their sleep schedules.

I (and my system as a whole) have non 24 hour sleep wake disorder (Non-24 SWD). This means that my entire life, I never have had a consistent sleep schedule for more than a week, and I am physically incapable of changing that, because my body responds poorly to sleep medications. My sleep either slowly shifts a few hours ahead per-day, or it drastically swaps what time I will fall asleep.

Growing up, I was being homeschooled, but it took a while before my bedtime was removed by my parents. Mainly because I was so anxious about telling them that I didn't always obey the bedtime (because my melatonin production didn't always align with the bedtime), and would secretly sit up in my room drawing or playing games on my kindle at night. I was scared to get in trouble for it.

But when my parents figured out, you know what they did? Instead of getting me in trouble, my mom was understanding, and simply changed the rule from "finish your school before this time of night" to "finish your school within whatever period youre awake" and removed my bedtime.

All of this to say, there should be options for people who cannot wake up at specific times, and there should be options for people who cannot leave their house. There should be more free online programs provided by schools, night owl teachers, things of that sort.

And for the love of God, less homework! School shouldn't follow you past school hours! Let youth have time to enjoy their lives outside of school, and let them have time to sleep!