Chewie Redbird

I didn't have any friends back home because I was the shy, nerdy girl who didn't like to socialize yet here I was practically thrown to the wolves. My cousin insisted I borrow one of her floral dresses and she curled my naturally wavy brown hair. At least now I looked like a flowery bump on a log that didn't belong.

"Hi." I look up from twirling my hair to see a handsome blonde boy with a playful grin. His long, messy hair screams surfer, along with the shark tooth necklace and beaded bracelets. My stomach dropped and my cheeks flushed. He was gorgeous.

"Hi." I squeaked as he sat down next to me, holding two red solo cups full of beer.

"I haven't seen you around before so I thought I'd introduce myself and offer you a beer." He never lost his smile as he offered me one of the cups. I'd sampled enough beer to know I didn't like it but I took the cup anyway with a small smile. "I'm JJ."

"Lucy, but you can call me Lu." I said softly, averting my eyes from his blue ones. Even in the dark I could tell that they looked like the ocean. Why did I care so much about tiny details?

"Lucy. I like that. It's pretty." JJ took a large drink of his beer, never taking his eyes off me.

"It's a grandma name." I joke, although that's how kids used to tease me growing up. It's either a kids name or a dogs name. So original.

"Lucille is a grandma name. Lucy is short and sweet, like you." Wow. Smooth talker and it's totally working. Warmth floods my body and my cheeks burn. When he smiles a dimple forms on one side and I ache to poke it. It takes me a second to realize that he's talking and I'm staring, totally not hearing what he said.

"I'm sorry, I was totally spacing out." I blurt, covering my red cheeks with my hands. That playful grin stays on his face.

"I could tell. You think I'm cute." JJ teases and my cheeks burn under my hands. "It's cool. I think you're cute too." Now my cheeks hurt from smiling.

"Do these lines usually work for you?" I find myself asking, lowering my hands.

"I don't know. Is it working?" He bites his bottom lip and it's the hottest thing I've ever seen. I want to bite it too.

"It's totally not working. I must be immune to your charm." Oh. My. God. I'm totally flirting back!

"Impossible. No one is immune to the JJ Maybank charm."

"Must be a rough day for you then." I sit my hand down on the log and he sits his on top of mine. Maybe he's just being overly flirty but it almost feels—intimate. I pull my hand away and he clears his throat.

"So you're a Touron?" He asks, finishing off his beers and straddling the log so he's facing me.

"Is that another Kook or Pogue thing?" I ask and he nods with a smirk.

"Kinda. Touron's are neutral ground though." He gives me a wink and I want to fall over.

"So it's like a gang? Are you in a gang, JJ?" I give a fake gasp, clutching my chest and he throws back his head with laughter. God, he's given me five minutes of attention and I'm obsessed.

"You could say that. You should come hang out sometime with me and my gang. Go fishing on the marsh or something. Look for lost treasures." I giggle, lost for words and he smiles back. Without thinking, I hand him my phone.

"Put your number in and I'll text you when I'm free." He gives me that lip biting grin again before quickly typing his number in then posing as he takes a selfie.

"I was going to list myself as "the hot guy from the party" but I didn't want you to think it was something else." He teases as he hands my phone back. Butterflies fill my stomach at the sight of his picture listed with his contact info and address. I smirked when I read the name. "The Charmer 😉"

"Do you not like the beer?" He asks after a moment of silence and I look down to the still full cup I've sit next to me on the log.

"I uh—." I start to lie, being the people pleaser I am, but he catches on.

"It's fine. You don't have to. I'd get you something else if I had it." JJ picks up the cup and takes a drink. My nerves are at ease at his sweet words.

"How do you drink it and not even make a face? Beer is so tart." I make a disgusted face and he chuckles.

"Lots of practice." I get another wink and my stomach flips. As the night goes on, I notice the more he drinks the more he flirts. We're both red faced and laughing by the time another long haired boy approaches us with a goofy grin.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but the bus is leaving." The boy gives me a soft smile and turns to JJ.

"It's cool, JB. I'm gonna walk Lucy home then I'll be home."

"Lucy, I'm John B. Don't listen to a word this guy says about me. I'm the better man for you." Another flirt. I blush but keep my eyes on JJ. I shake John B's hand and he walks off with a salute to JJ.

"He's right, yaknow." JJ smirks with a slight shake of his head as he picks at something on the log.

"About?" I question.

"He's the better man." I shake my head. There's no way yet I can't find the words to say that would make him feel better without humiliating myself. I get to my feet and brush myself off, feeling his eyes on me.

"I'm ready when you are." I gesture for him to follow and he does.

We walk and talk and laugh all the way back to my cousins house where I'm staying. I've never felt this type of connection with someone person. It's like we clicked and everything came so naturally. Half way through our journey, my fingers accidentally brushed his and he took my hand without hesitation. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy and my skin was tingling from his hand in mine. His hands were large and warm and callused with a couple rings on his fingers. I smiled at the ground as his thumb stroked mine.

"Favorite movie?" He asks as we approach the stone wall of my cousins property. I slow down, turning to face him because I'm not ready for this night to end yet.

"I'm a sucker for action movies but I love Harry Potter. So probably a tie between anything Marvel and Harry Potter. You?" I ask and he grins, his signature response whenever we share the same tastes. He blows a bubble with the minty gum he's been chewing as he thinks.

"Which Harry Potter movie is your favorite? And if you don't say Prisoner of Azkaban I will turn this car around right now." JJ laughs and I raise my dark brow at him.

"Did you even watch Order of the Phoenix? Because it was definitely the best." I counter and he pulls me against him. Our chests meet and I can feel his rapid heart beating against mine. My breath catches in my throat as I become highly aware of his hands touching me. The hands that are sliding down my arms and circle my waist.

"I'd like to kiss you now." His minty breath washes over my mouth and I find myself nodding. I didn't dare tell him he would be my first kiss or that I was terrified of being bad at it. I lift up on my toes just as he leans down and brushes my lips with his. An inferno blazes through my body as he keeps kissing me, one of his hands gently cupping the back of my neck. I gasp when he slips his tongue in my mouth but I just go with it before he can stop. I mimic his motions, flicking and molding our tongues together until I get the sudden urge to suck his tongue into my mouth. I'd read it in a book once and always wanted to try it. His whole body jerks as I suck his tongue into my mouth and he breaks away, panting. Our foreheads are pressed together as we fight to catch our breath and I can't see his eyes because of his messy hair. Nerves fill my stomach. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I shouldn't have done that." I pant and he tilts his head up slightly, his expression hard. And hungry. His pupils are blown, making his eyes look black and his lips are swollen and wet.

"Don't ever apologize. Do it again." His hand grips my neck roughly and we're kissing again. My body is suddenly pinned against the stone wall by his and the fire in my blood is burning me alive. The pulsing between my legs becomes painful to the point I'm whimpering against his lips. His hand gradually slides up my dress and caressing my sex through my panties.

"Is this okay?" He pants against my lips and I nod. I don't care that anyone could drive by and see. I don't want his hands to leave my body. I gasp when his hand slips into my panties and rubs my tiny bundle of nerves. I've only ever masturbated one time just to experiment but this was so much better.

"You're so wet." His mouth finds my neck and I whimper again. I feel his free hand brace against the wall as his lips devour my neck. I tangle my hands in his hair, desperately trying to keep him as close as possible. A finger teases my entrance until he finally sinks in, agonizingly slow. A choked moan leaves my lips and he tenses.

"God, the sounds you make. And you're so tight."

"I'm sorry." I pant. Why am I apologizing? I'm so drunk on lust I can't think.

"What did I tell you? Stop apologizing. I want to hear all your sounds. I bet you could wake the neighbors with how loud I make you." His dirty words make me clench around him and he chuckles, kissing me hard.

"J." I breathe as he adds another finger, curling it inside me.

"I love it when you say my name." JJ groans against my lips. My hand slips from his chest and grazes over the bulge in his shorts, causing him to jerk. I palm him without thinking and his fingers pump harder.

"I'm gonna cum." I lean my head back against the stone wall as I feel the dam break and euphoria washes over me, soft moans leaving my lips. JJ pulls his hand free but keeps his body pressed against mine. I had a lot of firsts tonight and I was exhausted.

"I should go inside." I whisper softly as his lips find mine again. He pulls away abruptly and looks over my head, past the stone wall and to the large white mansion sitting there.

"You live here?" He asks, his face puzzled.

"My cousin does. I'm staying here for the summer." I answer. The butterflies I had all night suddenly turn into a knot as he steps back from me, his eyes narrowed on the house behind me.

"Who's your cousin?" JJ asks, taking a hand through his tousled hair.

You had settled into a sort of routine with Peter. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you meet up before chemistry and study together in the library. You’d become pretty good friends due to how often you saw each other but had yet to hang out outside of your study sessions. Now that it was mid September, Peter was eager to take your friendship to the next level.

“Good morning.” You greeted Peter as walked into the classroom one day and went straight to the seat beside him. A few of your classmates looked up at you as you passed and snickered, but you payed them no mind.

“Morning. I shared a Google doc with you so we could take notes together. I figured that might help you understand things better.”

“You did?” You asked and opened your laptop. You saw the shared doc and how Peter had already organized and highlighted a few things that you had been confused about during your last tutoring session. You stared at the notes for a minute and blinked in surprise over someone genuinely caring about your grades.

“Is everything okay?” Peter asked you when he noticed you freeze.

“Sorry. I think I just fell in love with you.”

“It’s okay. It happens to me all the time, actually.” Peter replied with a wave of his hand.

“Oh, I bet.” You laughed, making him laugh as well. The professor started class and you took your notes together on the shared doc. Peter noticed you typing things and then deleting them to rewrite them the way Peter had shown you. He smiled to see you using his techniques and looked over at you proudly. When class ended, he was disappointed that your time together was ending as well.

“Do you have class now?” He asked you as he put his backpack on.

“Yeah. In the building next door.” You replied.

“I’ll walk you.” Peter offered, making you smile. As he walked you to your next class, your hands bumped against each others a few times. He never found the courage to take your hand, though you wished he did.

“See you Thursday?” Peter asked once you reached your next class.

“Actually, if you’re not too sick of me, I have a game tomorrow. It’s at 6 on the main field. You totally don’t have to go-“

“I’ll be there.” Peter said immediately.

“Really? You’ll come?”

“I get a free water bottle, don’t I?” Peter asked, making you smile.

“You do. I’ll even sign it for you.” You said with a coy smile.

“I’m gonna hold you to that.” He replied and got a laugh from you.

“See you tomorrow, Peter.” You squeezed his arm before going into your class.

The next day, Peter was seated on the bleachers as the girls soccer team played in front of him. Peters eyes never left you and while he didn’t know much about soccer, he was impressed with how you played. But it didn’t take long for Peter to notice that no one ever passed the ball to you. When you did have the ball, you brought it up the field with ease before passing it over. But when you didn’t have the ball, it seemed like your team mates passed to everyone but you. Peter didn’t know if he should bring it up or not as you ran to him once the game ended.

“Hey. You made it.” You smiled and pulled Peter into a hug. Peter was surprised by the contact but welcomed it and hugged you back.

“Sorry. Sweaty.” You smiled in embarrassment as you pulled away.

“It’s okay. I was cold anyway.” Peter laughed shyly. Three of your teammates walked by and when they saw you talking to Peter, they looked at each other and laughed. Peter watched your smile fade as you took a step back from him.

“Hey guys. Are we doing anything after the game?” You asked them. They looked at each other again before faking smiles.

“Uh, no. I don’t think so.” One of the girls told you.

“Okay. See you at practice, then.” You said and waved to them. The girls didn’t wave back and walked off together. You and Peter walked them them meet up with some more of your teammates in the parking lot and get in the same car. Your smile faded completely as Peter looked at you sympathetically. You looked at Peter to see if he noticed and felt embarrassed when you realized he had.

“Yeah. I kinda knew that was coming.” You laughed sadly to break the awkward silence that had settled.

“Are you guys not friends?” Peter asked quietly.

“We were at first. But everyone thinks I hooked up with Gwen’s boyfriend right after they broke up. Which isn’t true, but hey, why believe me? Her boyfriend said it happened and whatever the jocks say is true apparently.” You said with a roll of your eyes.

“Wait, so Gwen forgave her boyfriend for hooking up with you but didn’t forgive you?” Peter asked.

“Funny how that works, isn’t it?” You smiled sadly. “I knew Gwen two years before she started dating him but none of that mattered. They all believed him over me and rumor ruined our friendship.”

Peter stayed silent as you watched your teammates drive away while music blasted from inside the car. You eyes slowly lowered to the ground and you wiped your face before throwing on a smile.

“They’re not bad people. If I thought a girl went for my boyfriend right after he broke up with me, I wouldn’t like her either. And I definitely wouldn’t want my friends talking to her.”

“Still. It sucks that they exclude you for something you didn’t even do.” Peter replied. You looked and him and smiled at him for understanding.

“Yeah. It does suck.” You agreed. “Thanks for coming to watch me play, Peter.”

“Of course. I had a good time. Even though I don’t get the rules and really wanted you guys to just pick the ball up and throw it sometimes.”

“Well, if you want, I could explain the rules over some ice cream.”

“I would love that.” Peter smiled and extended his arm. You smiled back and linked your arm through his. You brought him to your car and drove to a nearby ice cream shop. You paid for Peters ice cream and winked at him as you handed over your card. He laughed and felt his face turn red.

“Thank you. But the boy is supposed to pay, by the way.” Peter said as you took seats in a corner booth.

“I love that you call yourself a “boy” and never a “man”. It’s cute. And this is my way of thanking you for tutoring me. And for showing up to my game.” You said as you ate a spoonful of your ice cream. Peter blushed at the compliment and cleared his throat to cover it up.

“Well you’re very welcome. I’m happy to do both of those things.” Peter replied. You exchanged smiles with each other which prompted you to scoot closer to Peter.

“So how’d you get so good at chemistry?” You asked him.

“I had a lot of time to study in high school. A lack of friends and romantic prospects really frees up your schedule.” Peter answered.

“You’ve been friends with Ned since high school, right?”

“I have. How’d you know that?”

“I stalked Ned’s Instagram. And was very disappointed to find out you don’t have one. But not as disappointed as I am that you don’t wear those little circle glasses anymore.” You said pointedly.

“Oh God. He has pictures of those up?” Peter cringed.

“Many. And why the face? You looked so cute with your little Harry Potter glasses.” You said and playfully smacked his arm.

“They were not my best look. Although, I don’t think I’ve had my best look yet.”

“You have. It was that white T shirt you wore the first day of school. You made it very hard to pay attention to the syllabus that day.” You replied, making Peter blush once again.

“I’m glad you liked it.” He said quietly. “I liked that black skirt you wore last Tuesday.”

“Did you now?” You raised an eyebrow as you ate another spoonful of ice cream.

“Mhm. Very much so.” He admitted.

“I guess I’ll have to wear it more often.” You replied, and it almost sounded like you were flirting.

“I’d appreciate that. And I think so would everyone who gets to see you that day.” He said in response. You laughed and moved in a little more so that your knees were touching. Once you finished up your ice cream, you drove back to campus and pulled up in front of Peters dorm.

“So, same time in the library tomorrow?” You asked him.

“Yep. I’ll be there.”

“Cool. Goodnight, Peter.” You said with a soft smile.

“Goodnight.” He replied, but didn’t move. He had every intention of kissing you goodnight, just without any of the courage to do so. You were looking at him expectingly, almost like you knew what he was thinking about. Peter leaned in a little, then opened the car door and got out. You waved to him before pulling off and hoped he couldn’t tell you were disappointed.

Your disappointment didn’t last long as you still got to see Peter the next day. You walked into the library and found him sitting at your usually table. As soon as Peter saw you, he noticed you were wearing the black skirt he had just revealed he liked on you.

“Nice skirt.” He smirked as you sat down.

“This old thing?” You asked innocently. He had been worried you were upset with him for not kissing you last night since you didn’t text him like you usually did after hanging out. But seeing you wear the skirt he told you he liked put him at ease.

“Here. I graded your practice test.” He said and handed you a practice test he had given you earlier in the week.

“Holy shit. I really got an 89?” You asked him with a surprised smile.

“You did.” He said proudly. “I told you, once you get the hang of covalent bonds, they get a lot easier to do. The only part that’s still tripping you up is the acids and bases section. But I made you a new study guide that should help you get it down before the test next week. So don’t worry. I’ll get you up to a 90.”

“Peter, I was pulling 60s and 70s before I met you. I’m not worried at all. You’re a seriously great tutor. I can’t thank you enough.” You smiled and put your hand over his. Peter gulped and looked down at your hands before snapping out of it to play it cool.

“I’m only a good tutor because you’re a good student. You obviously want to do well and try your hardest. Sometimes it just takes someone explaining something in a different way.”

“Well no one’s ever taken the time to explain it to me like this. So I appreciate you.” You said and squeezed his hand. Peter felt his face warm up and knew you could tell.

“Well, you’re very welcome.” He said and put his hand over yours. You took this as a challenge and put your other hand on top of his, but he just did the same. You moved your thumb and rested it on top of his hand before giving him a look. Peter just put his thumb on top of yours and you had no moves left.

“You win.” You chuckled and pulled your hands away. Peter did too and felt his blush spread all the way to the tips of his ears. You cleared your throat suddenly and looked at him.

“So, uh, I was thinking.” You began and Peter could sense that you were nervous.

“About what?”

“Maybe instead of doing work tomorrow, we can get food instead.”

“Okay.” Peter shrugged. “Sure.”

“Like a date.” You added, making Peter raise his eyebrows.

“Oh?”

“If that’s okay.” You quickly added.

“You know, I really don’t like going on dates with pretty girls. It’s just a thing of mine.” Peter replied, making you smile.

“Oh no. How unfortunate for me.”

“I know, I know. That’s what all the girls say.” Peter sighed. “But lucky for you, I’m willing to make an exception. Just this once.”

“You’re cute.” You chuckled and Peter felt his face heat up.

“I aim to please.”

“You do.” You told him, making his blush deeper.

“I’m glad you asked me because I’ve been wanting to ask you on a date since we met but I’m kinda a shy guy.” Peter admitted.

“Lucky for you, I always play as Shy Guy in Mario Kart.” You flirted. Peter grinned at the flirtation but it quickly faded when he realized something.

“Wait, you can’t play as Shy Guy in Mario Kart. He just throws cannonballs at you while you race.”

“Clearly you haven’t played any of the games past Mario Kart 7 because I literally play as him all the time.” You said with a playful scoff.

Before Peter could answer, you heard a wolf whistle as the library door opened. You looked over your shoulder and saw Flash Thompson and Harry Osborn looking at you with shit-eating grins. You quickly turned around and Peter watched your eyes fill with panic.

“Uh oh. Looks like Y/n has a new study buddy.” Harry said loudly, earning looks from other students in the library.

“Please, no.” You groaned and started to pack up your books.

“Do you know those guys?” Peter whispered to you.

“Oh, shit.” Flash laughed obnoxiously. “You’re with this guy again? Brad said he saw you with some dork but I didn’t believe it. Since when do you do repeats? I thought you liked to hit it and quit it.”

“Hey Y/n, I could tutor you too if you have some free time. We can talk about payment later.” Harry said and nudged Flash.

“We all know her favorite way to pay.” Flash added, making them both crack up laughing. You rolled your eyes and picked up your bag, prompting Peter do do the same.

“Aw, you’re leaving? I was just gonna offer that Flash and I tutor you together. Have you ever had two guys tutor you at once?” Harry asked and burst out laughing again. The librarian harshly shushed them but they didn’t stop.

“I bet she has. I bet she does that all the time.” Flash said and you and Peter walked towards the library door. You froze when you heard this and sucked in a sharp breath.

“I’ll be right back.” You smiled tightly at Peter before walking over to Flash and Harry.

“Yes?” Harry said innocently.

“That’s enough.” You stated. “You need to stop.”

“Why? You don’t want lover boy finding out what a whore you are? He probably already knows. Everyone knows.” Harry said and narrowed his eyes at you.

“Because you and your moronic teammates spread lies about me.” You replied.

“The only one spreading anything is you.” Flash stated.

“Yeah. Your legs.” Harry added.

“Yeah, I got that, dipshit.“ You scoffed, making Harry gulp in embarrassment.

“Whatever.” Harry scoffed. “Who cares what you say? You’re just a stupid slut.”

You felt tears threaten to spill over your eyes when he used that word. It was the brick they always threw at you, but it hurt just the same every time. You felt dirty every time they called you that and no amount of telling yourself it wasn’t true made you feel clean. Every time one of those stupid boys called you a slut, you felt like they were erasing your name and pinning a scarlet letter in its place. It enveloped you and pushed you out of yourself so all you had ever done and all you’d ever be was a slut.

“Hey, are you guys really offering your tutoring services?” Peter asked as he appeared at your side. You blinked a few times in surprise and looked over at Peter. Harry and Flash exchanged a look before looking back at Peter.

“We might be.” Harry snorted and gave Flash a look.

“That’s really cool. I didn’t know the school let students on academic probation tutor others.” Peter said with such genuine enthusiasm you had you laugh.

“Excuse me?” Flash asked and stepped up to Peter.

“Oh, I just thought you weren’t allowed to play until you got your gpa above a 2.5?” Peter asked and tilted his head to the side. You smiled in surprise as you watched a Peter fight back with a weapon you never thought to use: passive aggression.

“What did you just say to me?” Harry asked and pushed Peter back a little. Before it could escalate, the librarian stepped between you.

“Boys. Out. Now. Don’t make me tell your coach.” The librarian said and pointed towards the door. Harry and Flash shot you a look but knew there was nothing more they could do.

“Whatever. Freaks.” Flash mumbled and headed towards the door. Harry went with him and bumped your shoulder.

“Slut.” He mumbled in your ear.

“Premature balding.” You whispered back. Harry looked genuinely offended and touched the back of his head.

“Uh uh. I meant the hairline.” You told him a before taking Peters arm and leaving the library. You walked far away from the library and ended up on a bench far away from any other students.

“Sorry about that.” You said as the two of you sat down.

“It’s okay. I’m honestly surprised those guys even knew where the library was.” Peter replied. You laughed, but Peter could tell you were deeply hurt over what had happened.

“They’re not true, you know.” You said quietly. Peter looked at you but you were staring at your fingers as you picked at your nail polish to seem busy.

“What isn’t?”

“All those things people say about me. Its not true. I’m not all bad like my reputation.” You said and finally looked at him.

“I never believed it. I like to see things for myself.” Peter told you, making you smile softly.

“So do I.”

“I’ve liked what I’ve seen so far.” Peter added, causing your smile to grow. You looked into his eyes for a moment, then leaned in and kissed him. Once Peters initial shock wore off, he cupped your face and kissed you back. The moment was hidden from the rest of the world and only existed between the two of you. For the first time in a long time, you felt like a slate wiped clean. More importantly, you felt like you again. You pulled out of the kiss after a minute and exchanged shy smiles.

“So have I.” You told him.

“What?” He asked.

“Oh, sorry. I was referring to what you said before. You said you liked what you’ve seen so far. And so have I.”

“Ohhhh. I honestly totally forgot about that. My mind went completely blank during the kiss. It was like that memory wipe thing in Men in Black.” Peter said quickly and realized he was rambling. You laughed and his awkwardness and rested your head on his shoulder.

“As much as I’m enjoying this, I’d hate if I make things worse for you by being seen together.” Peter admitted. You knew he was right and that it would be bad for your brand to be seen with a boy, but in that moment, you didn’t care what anyone had to say about you. Despite the fact that anyone in the school would say otherwise, you had just been kissed for the first time. Nothing was gonna ruin the moment for you.

“Don’t worry about it.” You told him. “I’ll pay the price. You won’t.”

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You pulled back with a faint gasp to end the torture that was his lips against yours when you knew that that wasn’t where they truly belonged, the one place you were sure they couldn’t belong. At least that was what you were trying to convince yourself. Just as your lips detached from his and you got a deep breath of air to declare your defiance to him and his sex appeal, he dove right back in, capturing your lips. This time when you went to pull away, his strong fingers laced into your hair and held you in place as his lips worked against yours, distracting you from your previous dilemma. You moaned even louder this time, practically begging him to pull you into his lap and shower you in kisses, which was exactly what he did. He was hungrily kissing every inch of your neck, grunting, and bucking his hips up into yours practically every other second. 

“Don’t pull away again or I’ll have you over my knee.” You knew that he wasn’t serious, simply playfully threatening you. You could tell by the light tone of his voice, the way that he growled playfully into your neck, nibbling at the skin and following this action with a soft, affectionate nuzzle. 

“Rafe, we can’t be doing this.” You said, clearly conflicted by the man in front of you, laying light feathery kisses on your skin. Nevertheless, you still left room for argument, room to be convinced otherwise, and he knew what that meant. 

“Says who?” You sighed defeatedly and shut your brain off momentarily to enjoy the feeling of his lips finding their way back up to yours. He sucked on your bottom lip and lazily kissed your plump lips as you relaxed into him. “Says who, y/n? Hmm?” He was trying to prove a point, smirking back at you, knowing that he was right. 

You pulled back and gave him a no-nonsense look, scowling. “Rafe, why do you insist on torturing me with this?” You said, pointing at him as if he and your unspoken attraction was “this”, making him smirk. “You know we’ll never work out.” 

“And why wouldn’t we work out?” He remained confident, sitting back as he rubbed your hips to continue to distract you from the words that you were trying to form. 

“Because you’re you and I’m me… kook, pogue, y’know?” You waved your hand between the two of you and raised your eyebrows at him, waiting for a response. 

“This is the same kook that’s saving your ass from your reckless pogue friends.” You shut right up, embarrassed and trying not to be too aroused by the way that he laid back smirking at you. 

You couldn’t help yourself, you knew what you did to him, and there were very few things that you liked less than losing an argument to a pogue. The urge to come out on top in a situation like this came at you full force and before you could think through your actions, you were arching your back ever so slightly to push your chest against him, smiling down faintly as you batted your eyes, and Rafe knew he was in for it. Your hand crept up seductively to his neck where you stopped momentarily to squeeze lightly, just to tease, and then trailed up to his jaw where you held lightly. You leaned in so that your lips just hovered over his, the ghost of a kiss looming, reminding Rafe of his previous words, “you”, he wanted you.

“You’re my protector, right Rafe?” You cocked your head to the side and reveled in the fact that you knew those very words would have him coming completely undone, at your mercy. 

“Fuck y/n, stop teasing.” He tried to dive right back in, to lay a kiss on your pouty lips. You tightened your grip on his chin and forced him to look up at you, enjoying how vulnerable he looked when he would do anything to have you.

“Answer the question, Rafe.” You demanded, looking down at him. He nodded eagerly, “yes… fuck, y/n. I’m your protector.” He seemed so proud to be able to say the words and everything that it meant for the two of you. He didn’t just want to be your protector, but your caretaker, in every aspect of life. 

“Exactly, Rafe. My protector,” you nodded at him as if he were a child. “How are you going to protect me if you’re always busy trying to kiss me?” You joked lightly. “It’s better not to complicate things.”

“How am I going to protect you if you aren’t always with me?” He bit back, quirking an eyebrow at you.

“What am I supposed to do about that, Rafe?” You shook your head, giggling at his persuasion.

“Move in with me.” He couldn’t be serious, right? But he was. “Just stay with me… until it all blows over. That way I always know where you are and that you’re safe. Barry could get to you at any point, you know that, y/n.” He reminded you. 

“Look,” he pointed directly to the bruise on his face, growing more serious. “If he does this to you, I’ll have to kill him, and I don’t really want to do that, hmm? You don’t want me to either, I know you don’t.” You nodded, growing concerned as he brought your attention back to the real-world issue at hand instead of silly teasing.

“Rafe, I’m sorry he hurt you.” You said softly, tracing your fingers lightly over the bruised area as he watched you intensely. 

“Don’t be sorry, princess. It isn’t your fault,” he grabbed your hand and lowered it between the two of you. 

“But it is, Rafe. It’s all my fault,” you reminded him. 

“Stop avoiding the question.” Rafe said sternly, cutting you off. 

“I didn’t think it was a question, Rafe.” He smirked at that, loving the idea of you letting him tell you what to do and actually listening, although highly unlike yourself. If he wanted you to move in, you would. And if he wanted to have you, he would. He knew he would. 

~

Rafe sat happily watching as you folded clothes, organizing them into the closet. You brought only enough for a week since you had convinced yourself you wouldn’t be staying any longer than that. When Rafe said he wanted you to stay with him, you thought maybe you would be staying in the guest bedroom, assuming this mansion would have at least one extra room in its vastness, but you were apparently mistaken. Rafe wanted you to stay with him and maybe that was better anyways, meant you wouldn’t have to run into the rest of his family members as often and you could hide away in the safety of Rafe’s room and still feel safe. 

“Rafe… what about the bed situation?” You said for practically the millionth time that day, hoping that he wouldn’t just brush you off again. 

“What do you mean? You seemed to like it just fine last time.” You sighed, considering his point. It was plenty comfortable, softer, and plushier than anything you had ever slept on. 

“And what about your parents? Have you even told them that I’m… staying?” Rafe shrugged. 

“Doesn’t matter, they won’t mind. Probably won’t even be home much, but if it comes up, I’ll let them know.” You sighed again, trying not to feel any sort of anxiety over this arrangement. 

“But Rafe-” You were cut off by a loud groan of annoyance. 

“Stop asking questions, y/n.” He plopped down on the bed, sprawled out, and you stood back up, watching from a distance. 

“But Rafe-” you began again. “Y/n!” he said instantly, willing you to quiet down. 

“But it really is important, Rafe.” You stepped forward, glaring down at him with your arms crossed. 

“One more question and I’m going to come to get you right now and-” you cut him off this time. 

“Rafe, shut up! I’m tryin’ to talk and you’re being insufferable!” You stomped your foot. You were already fighting and it had only been a few hours. He raised his eyebrows as if to test you and you did the same back. He sat up quickly and grinned when you took a tentative step back. Then he stood and you took another and when his feet moved quickly toward you, you squealed and made a run for it back into the walk-in closet. 

You quickly found yourself cornered by shelved and a very devious-looking Rafe as he slowly inched forward as if you were his prey. When he finally reached you he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into his body with a loud growl as he attacked the skin of your neck with small bites. 

“Get away from me, you freak!” You squealed. You were twisting and turning, trying to get away from him until you found yourself completely turned around, facing the corner as Rafe continued his attack on your neck, brushing your hair to the side every few seconds until the turned into wet kisses. 

“You gonna tell me what you were gonna say now?” He stopped momentarily to let you catch your breath from laughing and squealing to speak huskily into your ear. You were both too much of a tease for your own good, taking turns testing the limits with each other. It was a dangerous combination. 

“What happens when the pogues find out I’m staying with you?” You weren’t going to lie, it was the first thought you’d had when he proposed the idea. 

“They have beef with it and they can come to me, baby. You don’t need to worry about a thing.” He said, rubbing circles into your hip until he was softly grinding his hips into your ass, pressing himself into the plush flesh. “Cause I’m your protector, remember? You said so yourself.” He reminded you, speaking low and seductively into your ear. You nodded your head, breathing a little heavier. 

“So, if fucking JJ comes to you…mad,” he trailed a hand under your shirt and began to teasingly trace his hand over the waistband of your sweats. “You send him right to me and I’ll take care of all of it.” His hand slipped under the waistband and you laid your head back, letting out the softest, breathiest moan. 

“W-what about everyone else?” You murmured, shuddering as Rafe laid more soft kisses on your neck. 

“They stuck with JJ in all of this,” Rafe reminded you, now teasing the waistband of your underwear. “They didn’t defend you either,” he spoke slowly and tentatively as his fingers traveled downward until finally meeting your clit and when they did, you let out the most embarrassingly desperate whine. 

“They can’t be mad at you for trying to stay safe,” he was pressed as close as he possibly could be to you, framing your body. “Right, baby?” He said as he began to move his fingers over your clit. You nodded with a slight whimper. You would agree with pretty much anything he said right now if he would let you cum on his long, slender fingers. 

“You want me inside you, y/n?” He asked in a cocky tone. What happened to the girl earlier, the one who would barely let Rafe kiss her? You asked yourself. It didn’t matter, Rafe was feeding into exactly what you wanted and needed. 

“Yes, Rafe. Please,” you begged. 

“If you say so,” he laid a kiss on the side of your head and you could hear each deep breath and soft grunt as he slowly pushed his fingers into you. A loud breathy moan left you, a feeling of relief coming over you as he finally stretched you with his long fingers. You were panting by the time his fingers were completely inside of you and he began to move them. Your head lolled to the side and your knees were weak as you practically fell back into him, letting him hold you up. 

“Let me take care of you,” you knew that he wasn’t just talking about taking care of you sexually, at this moment. He wanted to take care of you in every aspect of the word, in any way that he could, and the thought had you closer to your release as you urgently nodded your head, giving in to the Rafe Cameron charm that you had fought against for so long. 

“Oh fuck, yes y/n. Can feel you squeezing my fingers so tight, want me deeper?” You moaned loudly and it was enough of a response for Rafe. You weren’t even thinking about who else could be home or if they could even hear you in this big of a house, but Rafe reach forward to place a quieting hand on your mouth, silencing you. He began to fuck you with his fingers faster, harder, and deeper and you squealed into his hand in complete surprise, listening to him talk dirtily into your ear. 

“This pussy would feel so fucking good around my cock.” He said as he continued to grind his dick into your ass. “I can’t wait to hear you scream like this when it’s my cock inside you.”  Your eyes were squeezed shut tightly as you listened to his words and felt yourself fluttering around his fingers as they worked wonders inside of you. 

“Did you think this is how I would be taking care of you when you came to me that night? Begging for my help, hmm?” You didn’t answer, unable to focus on anything but the pleasure that Rafe was bringing you at this moment. “Cause I did. I knew from the moment I fucking heard you begging that I’d have you in every way that I wanted you and here I am, fucking you with my fingers while you scream into my hand so my parents don’t hear how good I’m making you feel.” That was all it took for your legs to be trembling as you truly did scream into the palm of Rafe’s hand as you came. He worked you through it, cooing in your ear and murmuring comforting words, holding you in his arms as you calmed down. 

He turned you around and held you in his arms, holding you tightly to his chest. Then he picked you up and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, reminding you of the fact that he didn’t get his release when you felt his hard-on pressing into you. He carried you to the bed and laid you down and without a second thought, you curled into the fluffy sheets encasing your body and breathed in Rafe’s scent as you fell into a deep sleep.

~

You woke to the sound of your phone ringing, groggily sitting up and rubbing your eyes, searching for the device. You looked around the room in search of Rafe and the events prior to your sleep flooded in, making you blush. You heard the sound of the shower turning off and stood, searching for your phone through the pile of clothes that you had been putting away. You found the phone and answered, without looking at the caller ID. 

“Hello?” You grumbled.

“Rafe there?” You hated the sound of that voice, you knew exactly who it was. 

“Barry?” Your heart began to beat a little faster, “how’d you get my number?” 

“Your good friend JJ,” your mind started to run instantly with thoughts of what could have happened. 

“Why did JJ give you my number?” You gulped nervously and heard the sound of footsteps behind you. You turned to find Rafe dripping with a towel wrapped around his waist and a look of concern. 

“I wouldn’t say give-” you didn’t hear the rest of what Barry had to say as Rafe ripped the phone from your hands in anger. 

“What the fuck do you want, Barry?” You leaned in a little closer to try to make out Barry’s muffled words. “Ah, just the man I was looking for. Rafe fuckin’ Cameron, how you been country club?” That didn’t seem to make Rafe happy at all. 

“Better than you, how’s your face?” Your eyebrows shot up, realizing that Barry must have got the worst of it. 

“Now, now… don’t be gettin’ all defensive over this girl, Rafe. I was just calling to check in on that money, where’s it at?” Had Rafe found the money? Gotten it back from JJ and planned to return it? You looked at him skeptically and he turned around to talk in a more hushed tone which only had you storming over to listen. 

“You need to be fucking patient, Barry-” he began. 

“Ah, ah, ah country club, remember what’s at stake here.” You waited patiently to hear what exactly was at stake and then realized what he meant. “Your girl.”

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You said a silent prayer to yourself as you reached forward and knocked softly three times. You cringed, unsure if you had even knocked hard enough to be heard. You went to reach forward again cautiously, but the hardwood door was yanked open and you were met with his steely gaze as you lowered your hand to your side. You gulped, only provided comfort as his gaze softened at the sight of you standing in front of him, blood splattered across your t-shirt and the jean shorts that hugged your hips.

~

"JJ! Are you fucking kidding me? He's coming here? Now?" You yelled back in his face.

"Yes! We need to go now! Before he gets here!" Your own pulse started to beat like a drum in your ears and it was all you could hear as you tried to process his words. You knew that if you didn't leave now, find a place to hide, and lay low for a few days, you would all be fucked.

“We need a place to hide this fucking money, John B!” Everyone around you began to move, grabbing whatever they needed and loading it into the twinkie as you stood simply trying to comprehend the mess that JJ had gotten all of you into.

"Let's fucking go!" JJ yelled in your direction and you forced your feet to move, one foot in front of the other until you were sitting beside him in the twinkie, practically seething at your situation. This wasn't just JJ's problem, this was now a pogue problem, as always. Barry would do anything to get to JJ and in turn, the money that was stolen from him. One rash decision and now you weren't allowed home in fear of facing Barry and his men and the lengths that he would go to get to JJ.

"Was it worth it?" You looked at JJ, angrily. You weren't just thinking about yourself in this situation, you were thinking about the danger that everyone was now in, unlike JJ - and all for a bit of drug money that you knew JJ would never get away with stealing.

You were now on Barry's list, forced to stay in hiding until further notice. There was no getting out of this in your mind. Barry wouldn't stop until he was paid back what he was owed and then some, you just hoped that you wouldn't all have to pay for it.

"What the fuck do you want me to say, y/n! I said I was fucking sorry! Drop it." You had never been so angry at JJ, you were usually patient with his antics, but you had had enough. JJ was on one recently and when he ran back to the house, a manic look on his face and a huge bag of cash. You couldn't hold back the rage that rose within you and came to the surface, screaming and yelling at the man before you. When he came back in through the front door, panicked and fearful, no sign of anything near apologetic, you were even more furious. It was chaos and disorder, it followed him wherever he went.

Now, sitting in the car next to him, you were so filled with rage that your face was growing hot and tears were stinging your eyes. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're gonna fucking cry over this, y/n?"

"JJ, you have no idea what this means for us! Or maybe you do, and you just don't give a fuck, huh? We're all paying the consequences for your actions, I have a fucking family JJ! What's going to stop Barry from going to them... or any of our families for that matter! You know if he got ahold of any of us, he wouldn't hesitate to use us as leverage, to send a message to you! You're so fucking selfish! Were you even thinking about any of us when you-" you were cut off by a hand on your shoulder and Kie's smooth voice.

"Y/n, it's done. He’s not going to get to your family, he wouldn’t go that far, I promise. There isn't much we can do now... once a pogue, always a pogue, right?" She was trying to sound inspirational but being a pogue didn't sound so glamorous right now. Not with the careless man next to you plaguing your own volition and spontaneity. Feeling as if you were imprisoned by his poor choices was one you couldn't force yourself to come to terms with.

“Right?” She reiterated, looking at you questionably. It wasn’t that the problem was being a pogue, it was JJ’s recklessness with no forethought of how it might effect the rest of you. If it was really once a pogue, always a pogue, then why was JJ putting his desires before your own safety?

But all that came out of your mouth, was a tight-lipped “right…”. You reassured her with an apologetic look, but didn’t give JJ the same treatment. Instead, you turned to him, glaring back at him with a threatening stare. He looked shocked at first, but quickly returned the same hate filled glare. 

Days were spent holed up between the boat and random spots that served no comfort to you. You were angrier each day, irritable, and not at all forgiving to JJ. You were tired of being mad at him, but each time you called your family to check in, it only brought the same feelings back that you were so desperately trying to push down for the sake of the whole group. 

On the third day, finding yourself away from the rest of the group, sat up in a tree at John B’s as you snacked, everyone on high alert, you realized that this wouldn’t come to an end without the help of the one person that you knew could really fix all of this. You didn’t want to have to ask, but it seemed he was your only option. You were tired of the looming danger that was constantly around the corner, the feeling of fright that you hadn’t been able to escape. The feeling was tiring, you were exhausted more than anything – sleep was uncomfortable and never refreshing, you weren’t eating enough as you ran around with them, and you were truly angered even by the thought of spending another day tormented by the possibility of Barry finding you and doing god knows what to find the cash. 

You made your decision with a sigh and prepared to jump down from the tree. As soon as you made it down, your knees taking the impact of the fall as you landed on the uneven ground, you felt the restraint of a warm hand holding you down by the back of your neck and a shoe hitting your back, pushing you down to the ground so that your chest met the dirt and you were trapped. A scream was unleashed from your throat, calling attention to your current situation. You could hear loud voices as they all searched for you, calling your name. 

“Hey sweetheart.” His voice sent shivers down your spine and you couldn’t believe that just as you were determined to find a solution, you had been found. Had he been waiting for you the whole time? 

“Up you go.” He pulled you back up from under your arms, your back hitting the front of his chest with an oomph. 

“Let me go, Barry. This isn’t my fight.” You demanded, trying to sound strong. 

“It is now, pogue.” 

Barry held you in place, the back of your arms stinging with his strong grip. You took note of the sound of a gun clicking behind you, the cold metal pressing into the exposed skin of your back. “You know where it is?” You shook your head, too frozen by fear to speak. 

“Don’t matter, that little pogue bitch’ll know.” He did. Still, he refused to own up to it, even as a gun was pressed to your back. 

“Let her go, Barry, she didn’t do anything.” You wished that you could have had the nerve to throw him under the bus, but as no one else did, all covering for him and trying their hardest to keep hold of the money, probably because it would make all of this worth it, you stayed silent. You didn’t have to speak up as he let your arms go and pushed you forward. Kie caught you before your front could meet the brush again and you were thankful for it. She held onto you tightly with clammy hands that made you look up at her with concern, even though you were the one being threatened. 

“But you did. Didn’t you?” He pointed the gun at JJ and you gasped as everyone else froze in complete fear. 

“You’re not gonna fucking shoot me… you need that money. Right? You might be the boss, but I know damn well you got people who’ll do far worse to you than you’ll do to me. Cause you fucking need me, Barry!” You wanted to slap a hand over JJ’s mouth and tell him to shut the fuck up, to just give it up. But maybe he had a point, maybe you would all end up dead regardless if he didn’t use the money as a leverage of some sort. You weren’t thinking rationally, regardless. That tends to happen with a gun pointed in your direction and the though of death blocking any other thoughts from entering.

“I don’t have shit to lose!” JJ continued, a crazed look on his face. What about you? What about everyone else? What about the safety of the whole group?

Barry stalked forward with determination that made a scream break from Kie’s mouth and John B step forward, just as Pope reached to pull him back, but was unsuccessful. He knocked the gun from Barry’s hand and Pope went scrambling for it. Barry tried to reach for it, yelling a few names that told you he didn’t come alone like you had originally thought. 

You watched as the fight unfolded and you and Kie backed up, screaming Pope’s name and warning them as punch after punch came to each of them. When they finally left with one last warning, you knew this wouldn’t be the end of this. You were dead set on your decision to do what you had to for the whole group as you helped the three of them into the house, blood trickling from their noses and the gashes from their unrelenting blows. Barry and his crew didn’t get away untouched, but you knew who had the upper hand in this situation. Next time he came by, he would probably have more men and you and Kie wouldn’t be so lucky next time. You couldn’t guarantee that Pope and John B would either.

~

"I need your help." Your voice broke on the last syllable and without hesitation he welcomed you into the house. You had never been to his house before, you had only seen it from the outside, marveling at its size and thinking lavish thoughts about what kind of life he must live in a house like that.

"What the fuck happened to you? Who's blood is this, y/n? Are you hurt?" He looked you over, an intense stare washing over your features as he inspected you. Your jaw would probably be a little inflamed in the morning from being pushed into the ground with the force of Barry's foot, but you were in much better shape than anyone else. Rafe looked around to see if anyone was listening, before sighing and pulling you up to the room with a strong grip on your wrist that stung from the impact that they had suffered after being shoved around.

"It's Barry," you started as soon as he closed the door behind you, ushering you to sit on the bed. You weren't sure how exactly you were going to go about asking, you hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Barry? That's Barry's blood?" He scowled at you, confused.

"W-well no, I mean it could be. I think it's JJ's." You started, still shaken up from the events that had taken place earlier that night. You had snuck out as soon as they were all able to get some sleep, knowing that Barry and his crew wouldn't come back in the shape that they were in. You took the twinkie to Rafe's, parked, and sat in the car for a minute just to build the courage to get out.

"Start from the beginning." He demanded, leaning back against the dresser in front of you and crossing his arms. He stared down at you with a look that made you feel so small that you shrunk into yourself, unable to hold eye contact with him.

So you did. You told him everything he needed to know, not leaving out any details. Except for the part about how livid you were with JJ, how disappointed you felt in him for taking the money in the first place when he knew damn well what it would mean for the rest of you. You could see the same thoughts running through Rafe's mind as he listened to you speak, shaking his head with that steely look remaining that intimidated you more than anything else.

"So, why are you here, y/n?" He took a step forward and you wondered if this was the part where Rafe would remind you of the cocky bastard he could really be.

"Like I said, Rafe. I need your help." You didn't pair it with any sort of sassy comment or a tone of annoyance, you were too desperate. Instead, you looked up at him pleadingly, depending on him to help you even when you had never done anything to help him. But you knew that he would, you knew deep down that he had a soft spot for you.

"You need my help to do what, y/n?" The way he said your name in such a demanding tone had your heart racing, your face, and neck growing hot with feelings that you couldn't decipher.

"T-to fix this, to protect us... please, I know we've never done anything but torment you," that wasn't necessarily the whole truth, he had done just as much tormenting on his end, but you knew that in order to grab his attention and earn his help, you would need to reframe the relationship. "but I need your help, Rafe. We didn't do this, it's JJ. JJ got us into it and there's no chance any of us will be able to call Barry off. But you can, Rafe." You tried not to sound too whiny and distressed as you begged him, but you felt more helpless than ever. Especially after getting a glimpse of what being on the run from Barry looked like. The feeling of constant fret from danger was unsettling.

"To protect you?" You could tell that as he thought the words over, the idea seemed more appealing. The chance to prove himself to you, to protect you -- it was tempting him.

"And what do I get out of this, my little y/n?" His cocky, playful attitude returned as he twisted his lips into a smirk and began to pace around the room casually as if thinking over his options. He was looking at you tauntingly, reminding you that you would owe him big for this.

"Anything, Rafe... I don't want to hide from this any longer, I don't want to be scared any more than I've already had to be." You sat tensely on the bed, looking down to avoid his eyes as he scanned your figure. “You know what Barry will do to me if it means he can get his money.”

"I like the sound of that... anything." He was right in front of you now, looking down at you with his arms crossed and a look of ownership over you as he took in your submission to him. You were in debt to him and he liked the idea of that more than he cared to admit. "Know this, I'll protect you and the rest of the pogues, but not JJ. He brought this on himself, plus there's no way I could convince Barry to let that little shit off scot free." You nodded, agreeing with him.

"Sleep... we'll talk about this in the morning," Rafe demanded as he calmly stepped away to grab something.

"Sleep? Rafe, I have to get back to everyone, I took the twinkie." You started to explain. He made an odd face at the sound of you saying Twinkie but chose not to comment on it.

"If you want my help, you'll sleep, like I said. I want to know that you're safe and the only way I can be for sure is if you're right here with me." He looked at you sternly, shutting you up right away. "Go shower and put this on, you're not sleeping in my bed with blood all over you." He pointed to the bathroom, throwing a t-shirt and a pair of boxers that made your face pale.

~

You weren't sure where he had gone to when you got out of the shower, dressed in his clothes. You sent a quick text to everyone, letting them know you had gone to fix everything and you would be back in the morning with the twinkie, telling them to stay safe and call if anything happened. You knew that they would be angry to see the text and the fact that you had left them with no way to get around aside from the boat, but this had to be done, and they would have to understand. They would be made regardless after knowing who you had gone to for help, but you weren't going to let their anger hold you back from just trying to feel safe.

You cuddled into the sheets, trying to ignore the thought of whose bed you were really in. You were savoring the smell of his sheets, addictive and unique to him. You felt out of place but didn't let that hold you back from fully enjoying the comfort that the plush bed provided you with. Especially after the sleepless nights that were depriving you of your sanity.

~

By the time you woke up, Rafe was standing out on the balcony of his bedroom having a very heated phone call. You shot up, wondering what time it is, and realizing you had slept in far longer than intended. You sprung to your phone that sat on the nightstand, checking your phone to find missed calls. After discovering that it was all to figure out what you were up to and that no harm had been done to them, you sunk back into the sheets with an exasperated sigh, closing your eyes and murmuring words of comfort to yourself.

That was the best night of sleep that you had had in a long time. You hadn't taken notice of the way that you collapsed into his sheets with your clothes riding up, exposing more than you had intended until you heard a deep chuckle next to you.

"Comfortable?" You sprang back up again and readjusted the t-shirt lower and the shorts from riding up your hips with a nervous gulp.

"Who were you on the phone with?" You tried to change the subject as quickly as possible to distract him from the image of you sprawled out in his bed.

"Nosy much?" He teased you, coming to sit next to you on the bed. You blushed at his accusations, shutting your mouth instantaneously from embarrassment.

"Have you figured out what you're going to do yet? Or what you want me to do for you?" You changed the subject again, bringing his attention to the real reason that you were here.

"Already working on it... and yes, I might have an idea." He cocked his head to the side and you had the feeling he was analyzing your tired features, never having seen you so relaxed and vulnerable in front of him.

"Is that where you were last night?" You were being nosy again, you reminded yourself.

"Yes, actually... think I might've struck a deal, but it's all still pretty up in the air. Might take some time, you know?" You had a feeling that something devious was hidden within those words as he smirked at the thought of playing this out for as long as possible. "Barry's not looking his best, eh? Can't imagine what Maybanks looks like." It didn't surpass you, the way that his eyes glinted and a smile crept onto his face at the thought.

"He brought more men, we were outnumbered. Plus... what am I really supposed to do? Step in and try to save the day? It was all on Pope and John B to defend JJ," You giggled, feeling a little more carefree without the threat of danger on your doorstep. Still, you shook your head at the thought of JJ needing saving, again.

"Why you guys continue to stick with that kid is beyond me..." he looked at you perplexed and maybe a little mad. "This is clearly all on him, yet you continue with this "pogues for life" bullshit." He was going to continue, but you couldn't continue to let him think that way of you when it wasn't at all the case.

"We're not doing it for him, Rafe. Or at least I'm not... I didn't show up here last night to defend JJ, I came to defend myself, Kie, Pope, and John B. They didn't do anything, but we still got dragged into this. JJ knows how I feel, while I've been the only one vocal about it, I can't imagine that anyone else is finding much joy in being in hiding thanks to him." You shrugged, trying to shed light on the true nature of your friendship with JJ. "You know that Barry would do anything to get to JJ, he goes for their loves ones before he ever goes for them and you know that, and that means we're in more danger than even he is."

"Promise me this, y/n." That got your attention right away and you listened intently to the words that followed. "When this is done, when Barry and his men no longer have it out for you, you won't ever go around JJ again. He knew exactly what he was doing, putting you in danger when he made the choice to grab the cash. He doesn’t care, y/n. If you want my help, you'll promise me that right now, and keep your word. I'm doing you a favor here... remember that." You thought this over. It wasn't the thought of abandoning your friendship with JJ that stung, it was what it really meant for your relationship with the rest of the group. Would they have your back or would they let JJ tear the group apart and still stick with him? Still, they would have to understand that you made this promise with them in mind, too.

"I promise, Rafe." You nodded solemnly.

"Good." He nodded curtly, watching your face for any sign of sadness or anger. "Ready to hear what I have planned for you now?" A smirk grew on his face and you looked back up at him expectantly, waiting to hear your fate.

"This is all I ask of you..." you nodded your head, waiting anxiously for his next words. "You come to see me at least once a week, what happens then is up to my discretion."

"So, I'm just supposed to come around and do whatever you want of me? Whenever?" You scowled, looking back at him as if he was a lunatic for expecting that of you.

"If you want my help." He shrugged, standing back up. He had a pleased look on his face, already knowing what your answer would be. You only had so many options.

"Whatever I plan to do with you can't be worse than what Barry has planned for you, I promise you that." You reminded yourself of your exact words yesterday... anything, you reminded yourself.

~

When you returned to your friends looking a little more rested and cheerful they had no idea what to say to you. Instead, they mostly stared back at you with confusion as you tossed the keys to the twinkie into John B's lap. You grimaced at their bruised faces but focused on the positive of having secured a plan.

"Where the fuck were you?" JJ was the first to speak, grumpily looking back at you with a pained expression on his face as he held ice to his cheek.

"Just saving your ass." You grumbled back. That may have been a slightly false statement, but he didn't need to know that. You told yourself that he had done enough to deserve that, you didn't need to feel guilty.

"How?" Pope asked, shooting up from his place, lounging on the couch. You sat down, looking at each of them nervously. They gave each other looks of concern, completely in the dark about the deal you had struck with Rafe.

"Anytime now," John B said.

"I went to Rafe last night," as soon as the words were out of your mouth, they all sprang to life. JJ threw his hands up in the air, John B and Pope shared looks of disbelief, and Kie stared at you like she didn't even know you. "He agreed to help," you continued on, but you were quickly interrupted.

"And why the fuck would we need his help?" JJ spat back at you, taking a step forward so that he loomed over you.

"Because you got us into this fucking mess and who else is going to get us out of it? I know damn well it won't be you." You clenched your jaw, standing and glaring back at him. His shoulders seemed to slump minimally, barely noticeable, but you noticed.

“Both of you sit back down.” Pope said irritably. “Y/n’s right. We need Rafe’s help, he knows Barry better than any of us.”

“And you don’t think he’ll be the first to fuck us over if he we let him? Huh!” JJ looked at everyone angrily as they all avoided his gaze, silently agreeing with Pope.

“JJ, you do whatever you want, but don’t try to stop me from saving myself when all you ever think about is yourself.” You remarked disappointedly as you turned and walked away.

~

The first text that you got from Rafe was on a Thursday afternoon. You had been holed up in your house, avoiding the rest of the group, and hoping that they wouldn’t take too much offense to it. You were exhausted from the time that you had spent with them and you just needed a little space. Rafe seemed to have gotten Barry off your back for now, but you weren’t going to bet on it staying that way for long.

I need to see you

Then come get me

You replied anxiously. Usually you would at least decline his request once, okay hard to get some might call it, but you cut a deal with him. You weren’t going to bail on him now, after all he had done for you.

On my way.

You caught yourself smiling at the prospect of him coming to get you because he just needed to see you.

When Kie had pulled you aside later to ask what you had done to cut that kind of deal with Rafe, you played it off as if he was simply being generous. You knew she could see through the lie, but it didn’t matter to you. You were doing what you had to, for them. And what was so bad about Rafe anyhow?

Rafe pulled up some fifteen minutes later and you stopped dead in your tracks at the sight of his bruised cheek as soon as you pulled the door open and got a glimpse of him. He turned away, jaw ticking, and you sat with cautious eyes. He was breathing heavily as got in, closed the door, and he began to drive off, a little faster than you would have liked. The drive felt longer than usual as you sat in silence, waiting for him to ease the tension.

“What happened, Rafe?” You asked softly as soon as he parked, reaching forward. For a moment, he pulled away from you, but you persisted. With determination, you grabbed his jaw and turned his face to you with a scowl.

“What? You thought this deal wouldn’t cost me anything?” Your face fell knowing that it was you who had earned him the shiner.

“Just tell me what happened, Rafe.” You pleaded.

“Got into it with Barry. For you, like you asked. He’s agreed to leave you out of it, but not your pogue friends. He knows they’re all JJ has. I tried to convince him, but it didn’t go over well.” He shrugged and relaxed into his seat.

“Thank you, Rafe. Really… I can’t explain to you how much I appreciate this.” You looked at him sincerely and pinched his cheek softly before pulling your hand away all together.

“But you could show me,” there that smirk was again. You didn’t process his words at first, but as soon as you did you bit your lip at the idea and turned away, trying not to let him see the images that his word had elicited running through your mind.

“Is that what you want from me?” You couldn’t look back at him, you didn’t want him to see what it was doing to you.

“Could be, but that’s not all I want from you.” He became a little more serious, grabbing you by your chin just as you had just done to him, and turning your face back to look at you in the eyes.

“What do you want from me then, Rafe?” Your words were low and sultry, caught up in the feeling of having the same man that was doing everything in his power to keep you safe, sitting across from you.

“It’s not that complicated… I just want you.”

Tag List: @georgiaxxxx @amanduhh1998 @belcalis9503 @lovedetlost @angelofcigs @toystory2wasjustokay @storytellingwitht @little-lovesick-mess @iovdrew

when he was five he was caught setting his sister's stupid doll on fire because it simply annoyed him. he just shrugged and walked away when his father started scolding him, making him even more furious.

he tore up and destroyed all the presents from his ninth birthday party because you were sick and couldn't come. you were the person he was looking forward to see the most, so demolishing the gifts in front of all the parents was the least he could do.

but to you, he was your sweet and gentle rafie, that used to protect you from those mean guys that bullied you in kindergarten and calmed you down during stormy nights, holding you close to his chest. he's the same rafe that gave you soft pecks on your scratched knees and carried you home, scared that you would get hurt again. he always had those pretty hello kitty bandaids at home, they were probably sarah's, you thought. you didnt have to know that he threw a fit because his mom couldn't find your favorite bandaids.

at the age of thirteen he got expelled from school for punching a guy that dumped his lunch on your head, when rafe wasn't present, busy with football trainings.

you knew better than telling rafe about that incident, not wanting him to get in trouble because of you, again. but that didnt stop sarah, who witnessed the whole scene, from running to his brother. to say that rafe cameron was protective of you was an understatement, so it shouldn't have surprised you when you saw the poor guy's broken nose and several dark cuts all over his face.

when rafe got his first girlfriend you caught yourself avoiding rafe because you didnt want to intrude their relationship and totally not because grace, his girlfriend, sent you dirty stares everytime she saw you at rafe's house or simply hanging out with him.

to your surprise he broke up with her after not only a week, claiming that she was getting on his nerves.

when you both grew older, you started to wonder why rafe never settled down, his longest relationship was of two weeks and that was because of a bet. after getting scolded by you and seeing how his actions hurt you, he stopped with these childish bets, as you called them.

"i'll never talk to you again" you said with trembling lips, looking up to him with teary eyes and it took all his self control to not to coo at your cuteness.

College was the place you were looking forward to the most since you graduated high school. It was supposed to be a place where you met people with similar interest, went out with them to have fun and engage in intellectual converstaions. And it was exactly like that, for the most part. Growing up as a natuarally intelligent kid had you been putting little to no effort in school and always got you good grades. This quickly escalated into you trying a bit harder with each test and striving for more academic validation. At some point you even managed to become the best student in your class. But sitting hours on end on a desk and studying was still something very foreign to you. Sure, you would revise from time to time on topics that were harder to remember or things you couldn't recall from class, but it never went further than that. And maybe a degree in Biophysic was not the wisest idea given that backgroung. So, when college came around and you started the new classes on topics your common knowledge could barely help you keep up with, things went downhill very fast. For the first time you were faced with faliure, hard work and putting hours on end to study. It felt like everyone around you was more knowledgeable, more prepared, more educated on literally any topic that was discussed in and outside of class. Being at the bottom of the academic foodchain was mildy infuriating, to say the least.

And after the first few months of sleepless nights, filling up all of the holes so you could catch up to speed, you finally did it, and it felt more rewarding than anything else. This assisted you into making casual conversations with so many people from your different classes, one of them even inviting you to a study group that had been going on for months. You happily agreed to that idea, thinking it would be the best way to keep up with everyone in the class, not only academically but socically as well.

The day of the study group finally arrived on what seemed like the most normal, yet the most exciting Tuesday. They added you to a groupchat, everyone texting back and forth until all of you had agreed to go grab a coffee before heading to the library. You had tried your best to look presentable for this study date, putting on some white wide-leg dress pants and a neat navy blue t-shit that hugged your body very well. You hair was in a sleek bun, having a white buttonup because the weather was slightly chilly. Almost everyone had arrived there on time, which took you by surprise since you were used to being the only one being on time. After the cheerful greeting and formally learning everyone's names, you went inside and grabbed a coffee, returning to them promptly. You stood by the door, since the group had formed a circle around the entrance of the small shop.

"Was I the last one?" You asked concerned, looking around and counting the people.

"Actually, we're waiting for Peter" Someone said, everyone giggling softly and shaking their head.

"Who's Peter?" You asked, and as soon as you did, you felt something push againt your shoulder, sending you a step forward so you wouldn't come crashing down from losing your balance.

"I'M SO SORRY" you heard from behind you, turning around to see a boy with a worried expression on his face, paper cup in his hand. He was handsome, hair pushed back, warm eyes and nervous smile, leather jacked over a black t-shirt.

"That's Peter" someone stated, pulling you out of your trance. Peter chuckled, moving past you and motioning for everyone to go, since he was the one you all had been waiting for.

On the walk there you kept staring at the back of Peter's head, annoyed that he pushed you with the door, frusrated because he didn't even bother to introduce himself to you. Not that he really had to, you already knew well enough who he was. The guy who always came in rushing because he was late, somehow still managed to sit directly in front of you, blocking your view, no matter where you sat. He was the guy that would beat you to every question, the one who would always have the best grade on the tests. He leaned way too back in his seat, back pressed to your desk, pushing it, as you would try to keep up with writing everything down. And he would always ask you for a pen, every single time.

The study room was spacious and bright, it had a big round table for everyone to sit at, as well as two whiteboards and plenty or outlests for chargers and what not. It looked like the perfect place to study with a large group, excluding the fact Peter was there as well. You all took random seats around the table, Parker sitting across from you, almost as if it were on purpose. You held back an eye roll when he smiled at you cockily, making you look away and take out your laptop and notebook from your bag. The screen managed to block out most of Peter's face if you sink into your seat low enough. The conversation in the room flowed naturally, it was so interesting and engaging and you were having a blast speaking to these people. Soon enough all of you had solved the first homework questions, you quickly grabbing a pen and writing it down in your notebook. As you were in the middle of writing, an outside force closed your laptop. Your eyes looked at the laptop, seeing a pale male hand, fingers spread. You stared at it for a few seconds, noticing how pretty the hand actually was, long and straight fingers, follwed by a slim wrist and a muscular forearm. Your gaze trailed the hand up to Peter's face, looking into his eyes with annoyance already.

"Hey, do you-" before he even managed to finished his sentence, you had taken out a pen from your pencil case and placed it on your laptop, next to his hand.

"Thank you" he muttered, you not even looking back at him. This routine, as much as it was annoying, gave you some kind of comfort as well.

"How come you never have a pen with you?" You asked after a while, your curiosity getting the better of you.

"Oh, well actually I do have one, it's easier to just use yours"

''Unbelieveble"

"Come on, like you would ever need a second pen for anything"

You hovered over the table and grabbed the pen from his hand in a swift motion, he looked a bit taken a back, as well as the few people following your interaction.

"Actually, I need it now" you said, putting the one you were using away and continuing your writing with the one you just got back from him.

"You're being unbelieveble now" He said slightly irritated, reaching to get his won pen from his backpack.

"The two of you, cut it out, you're acting like children!" someone shushed you, making you blush when you realised it wasn't just you and the curly-haired boy in the room.

You gulped softly, mummbling a sorry to everyone as you kept writing down.

"Us cut it out? She was the one acting like a child, making a big deal out of a pen!" Peter whined and complained, starting to write down things in his notebook after he got a few angry glares from other people.

Around the time the group got to the third and final question for the homework you were feeling confident enough to try to contribute to the assignment.

"So you're basically saying that principle of hemodialysis is the same as other methods of dialysis - it involves diffusion of solutes across a semipermeable membrane?" you asked, as you were brainstorming through the question.

"Oh come on, y/n, this is the easiest question so far!'' Peter said, leaning froward, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Ever since the pen situation, he's been worse than ever before, taking every opportunity to show of how much smarter he was, followed by a cocky smirk.

"Intermittent dialysis therapy is used in chronic uremia to re-establish body water solute concentrations that cannot be achieved by the natural organ. In this sense, the dialyzer becomes an artificial kidney and it is through the transport of substances by this device that chemical and biophysical control consistent with continued survival is achieved." He explained, solving the question for you.

"She had it figured out, you could have let her be" Someone you didn't remember the name of said to him, making Peter's head turn in that direction.

"She obviously didn't, keep in mind her highest grade is my lowest" He snapped back.

You could feel the tension in the atmosphere thicken with each second, things were about to escalate very quickly. His words stung a bit and you felt something like a ball stuck in your throat after he said them. He didn't know how much work you had put in and he was incosiderate enough to just assume the worst of you. Before things managed to get any further, or worse, out of control, you slammed your thick notebook shut.

"Since Peter was kind enough to solve the last question, I think I'm going to call it a night" you said, fighting back the tears. Your voice gave you away as it wa slightly shaky, earning a few sympatheric looks.

You shoved your things in the bag as quickly as you as possible and walked out, trying to get as far away as possible. You were trying not to break down the whole walk back to your dorm, bitting your lip, brushing away some stray tears that ran down your cheeks with your sleeve. You were mentally blaming yourself for everything, for not walking fast enough, for not knowing enough, for deciding to join the study group, for even deciding on this degree to begin with. By the time you made it to your room, your phone was already blown up by text messages from Natalie, the person who originally invited you. She was a small blonde, blue-eyed beauty that was just as smart as she was pretty. You could bet on your own life that she was class president and the prom queen in high school. She was more than kind to you this whole time and her text messages suggested that she was worried about you too. With a quick click you deleted all the messages from your notification centre and threw the phone on your bed, followed by your bag. Hot tears ran down your face, breathing heavily as you were preactically sobbing at this point. You sat down on the floor, not being able to hold in the frustrstion anymore as you finally broke down, letting all of the shame, pain and anger flow out of your system through your tears.

A couple of hours had gone by, your tears were dried up on your face and neck as you lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling. Your phone kept buzzing from time to time and you finally gathered the emotional strenght to reply to the messages. Sitting on the bed, you unlocked the device and scrolled through the unred chats. The groupchat had sent the written solutions for the questions. Natalie had probably sent you 20 messages apologising and asking if you were okay. The guy who defended you had also sent you a message. His name was Brad and he looked like any normal person did. You texted him first, thanking him for standing up for you even though he did not need to do that. After him it was Natalie, who called you immediately after you hit send to reply to her first message. You picked up hesitantly, since you knew your voice was definitely going to sound like you had been crying.

"I am so sorry for everything! If I knew you and Peter were on bad terms I wouldn't have done this to you" She immediately spat out

"It's okay, I we aren't on bad terms, well... weren't"

"Have you been crying?"

"No..."

"I'm really sorry! I spoke to him after the whole thing, he's usually nothing like this! He himself couldn't explain why he acted like this"

"Nat, I really, really don't care"

"He said he wanted to make it up to you! He asked me himself for your number and your dorm room!"

"Please tell me you didn't give him any of that information"

"Well..."

"Oh my god now he knows where I live" you whined, bringing your knees up to your chest and hugging them.

"He wanted to apologise! He looked very sincere and worried"

"Yes, all the psychopaths do, that's why they're so hard to recognize!"

"I'm sure he wouldn't just show up at your door trying to make amends, you'll be fine, plus he's a really cool dude, give him a chance to prove he's not an asshole"

"He had his chance, it was today"

After you two said your goodbyes and hung up, you deicided it was finally time to take a relaxing shower. As you walked out, you heard a knock on your door. Still wrapped in a towel, one hand holding it in place, you opened the door to a Peter Parker, leaning on the doorframe. You blinked a few times rapidly, trying to process what you were seeing.

"Why are you here?" You asked, after carefully calculating your tone and your words

"You weren't picking up your phone" he replied, trying to step a foot inside. You blocked his action with the door.

"I didn't say you could come in"

"Can I come in then?"

"No, good night Parker" With that you tried closing the door on him but he grabbed it, not letting you close it.

"Look, I'm here to apologise for what I said earlier. You don't have to forgive me"

"And I don't, go Peter"

He looked shatter at your words looking into his brown eyes, you almost felt sympathy for him, like he really did feel sorry about what he did. Despite that, you kept your composure, looking at him with all the resentmet you had for him, a sigh leaving his lips as he let go of the door. He didn't need superpowers to know he fucked up, so he left. And you on the other hand, were more devistated than before, but your ego was bruised and your self-esteem ruined. The only person, no matter how annoying, you didn't want to think less of you, thought less of you. Yes, it was good that he wanted to apologise but this was not going to undo his words and the image he obviously had. You didn't even know if the apology really was his idea or was forced on him by the others in the group. You shook you head, dismissing the thoughts as you got ready to sleep. Sleep always helped with heavy emotions and you hoped you would feel better in the morning.

A few weeks went by and you still refused to forgive Peter for what he said. In your heart, you knew he was really sorry at this point but you enjoyed his suffering as you roasted him slowly on low heat. He tried all the cliché ways, buying flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, buying you coffee before every study date. Your neighbours were convinced that the two of you were dating and would always ask about him when you gathered in one of the rooms to eat together or drink. You denied that but they rolled their eyes and never believed. In the mean time Brad tried to get closer to you, even inviting you on a date. You accepted hesitantly, since your heart seemed to be someplace else, liking all of the effort and attention from Parker more than it should. You told Natalie about the date, the two of you had become very close, spending a lot of time together, which often resulted in Brad and Peter tagging along. To say the boys were not getting along would be an understatement. Eyes throwing daggers at each other with every glance, snarky, rude comments were exchanged back and forth. But when you told the pretty blonde about Brad, she was more than excited about it finally happening . She would go on and on about how she knew he liked you ever since the first study session you had together and how he had a very heated fight with Peter after you left. You were grateful for him and what he did, and somehow it still felt wrong to be going out with him.

The night of the date had arrived and you were almost ready, putting in your earrings as you heard a knock on your door. You took a quick look in the full lenght mirror, fixing the long black dress you were wearing. It had a long slit on the left side, exposing your leg, no sleeves and a turtle neck. You had tied your hair in a ponytail, so your light make up would be more visible in the muffled evening lights of wherever he was planning to take you. You opened the door, still not wearing your chunky leather boots but just stockings.

"I thought we were going to meet in front of the library" you said as you opened the door but to your sursprise, someone else was standing there.

"You're not going on that date" Peter said firmly, almost as a command

"You're the last person that's going to tell me what to do" You snapped back at him "Why are you here Parker?"

He walked inside, closing the door behind himself. Peter seemed slightly distressed, looking you up and down with a dark expression.

"Do you really hate me that much?" he asked, leaning his back against the door, his arms behind him as he looked down at his feet. "Or do you just want to hurt me by going out with the guy I like least? Like really? All the guys are in your feet and you decide to go out with Brad, and look as gorgeous as this."

You could hear the annoyance and sadness in his voice, a bit taken a back from all of the things he just said to you. He just loved doing that, didn't he? Saying the most obnoxious things to make you feel bad about yourself.

"Wait, what?" was all you managed to say, taking a few steps back until your butt pressed agains your desk, making you stop. Books and make up palletes were scattred on it. Peter looked up at you, smiling weakly.

"I've liked you, this whole time" he confessed, staring directly into your eyes "Please, don't go on that date"

"Make me" you said faintly, surprised by how you almost whispered it. There was no way he could have heard that. But somehow he did, taking a few rapid steps towards and wrapping an arm around your waist.

"I'll make you forget everyone else but me" he whispered in your ear.

Feeling his hot breath near your face made your heart beat faster, one of your hands resting against his upper arm, looking up into his eyes. You were having a hard time processing what was actually happening, a sudden fear it was one of his games to make fun of you. You tried pushing him away after the realization, but his grip on your waist tightened.

"I'm serious, y/n" he said "I've liked you since I saw you, and I would make everyone sit away from you so I could be near, I would ask you for a pen so I could talk to you. And I tried to show off because I wanted to impress you, I wanted you to think I'm smarter so you could ask me for help in class."

For some reason you believed him, nodding lightly to let him know that. He lifted you up with one arm, sitting you on top of the desk. You were having a hard time vocalizing what you were feeling but you didn't want him to feel awkward because of your silence. Your arms wrapped around his neck, his hand falling on your exposed leg. You looked down at where his hand was, your skin burning with desire to be touched by him more. Your eyes met his again, his filled with hopefullness and lust. He got closer, titling his head to the side and he kissed you softly and sweetly. You returned the kiss, hands cupping his face and bringing him closer to you. Peter deepened the kiss, turning it in a heated make out session as one of his hands romed around your leg, going up your dress so he could touch more of you and the other one placed on the small of your back, pulling you closer to him. You spread your legs, pulling him by the belt so he could position himself between them, your hands going to his hair and playing with his messy curls as your lips and tongues danced against each other. After what seemed like a forever of heated, hungry kisses and filty touching, you broke the kiss so you could catch your breath. You panted havily, chest rising up and down rapidly. Peter pressed his forehead against yours, both of you closing your eyes to collect yourselves.

"Should I at lest text Brad and tell him I'm not going?"

"Well, there goes my hard on"

You hit his chest lightly, both of you giggling at his stupid joke. He looked around, noticing your phone that was charging on the bed, moving away from you to grab it and hand it to you. You unlocked the phone trying to find your chat with Brad while Peter found his previous position, viciously attacking your jaw and neck with kisses. You tried your best to be concentrated and write a normal message, but made a few spelling mistakes nonetheless. Peter nibbled on your neck, which earned him a slight flinch from your side.

“Peter, please, we’re not 16, no hikeys”

He ignored your words, continuing his act the way he had planned it, kissing, licking and sucking on your soft skin while you begged him to stop. His hands were all over your body once again, touching everything that was exposed to him, one hand travelling further up your leg than before, almost landing on your ass but hesitantly stopping. You noticed his uncertainly, pressing your cheek against his so you could whisper in his ear.

“Don’t stop now, Peter” you breathed in his ear, your own hands exploring his body.

He didn’t waste a second after that, grabbing your butt in his hand and pressing his lips against yours. Your hands moved under his shirt, touching his toned stomach. Your were quite shocked to what your fingertips were pressed up against, not expecting him to be as muscular as he actually was. You knew he worked out because you had seen his toned arms in a t-shirt too many times for your own good, but you were definitely not expecting that. Hands quickly slipped him out of his jacket, reaching to pull up his shirt in the heat of the moment but he stopped you, moving slightly away. Your lipstick was smudged all over his mouth and it made you giggle.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked you, his hands finding their way back to your waist. You nodded, undeniably longing for him and his touch, his presence.

“Good, because if we keep this up any longer, I probably won’t be able to hold back” Peter muttered, removing his shirt and tossing it on the floor before he pulled you in again, kissing you.

You took that as a signal that you had to get undressed as well, reaching for the hem of your dress pulling it up. He grabbed your hands when he noticed the act, stopping you from doing what you had planned so he could do it himself. Suddenly you felt the cold air from the room against your skin, along with Peter's warm hands, making you shiver. You undid his belt, helping him pull his pants down, breaking your kiss in the process. You laughed soflty at how he was jumping on one leg while he was trying to kick his pants off, shaking your head.

"What?" He asked

"Nothing, nothing, I'm really missing a date right now for you jumping on one leg to get out of your pants" you bursted out laughing, him joining you shortly after.

"No, it's going to get so much better, trust me" He stated, grabbing you and lifting you up, throwing you on the bed. You squeaked softly from his actions, not expecting it. Soon enough he had your hands pinned down with his, hovering over you. A soft gulp at the sight from you made him chuckle, kissing on your neck once again. He had already left a mark there, starting to suck on a second spot next it.

"Peter really! It's going to be so hard to cover them up" you whined, secretly enjoying his lips and teeth on your skin like this.

He looked at your face, smiling viciously at you.

"I just want people to know you had a good time"

"Yeah, with Brad? I was suppsed to be on a date with him" you teased him, chuckling softly. His expression changed suddenly, he seemed almost angry. His hands let go of your wrists, travelling down your skin as he reached the hem of your panties. His fingers played with the hem of them before slipping in under the thin fabric, the middle finger going between your folds. He could feel how wet you actually were, making him smirk with that cocky smile he had, looking into your eyes. You were holding back a small moan from his touch, looking at his pretty face.

"Can Brad make you this wet baby?" He asked.

You shook your head no, keeping eye contact with him. His middle finger started moving up and down tesing your clit before entering you slowly. This time you couldn't hold back and you moaned, closing your eyes. His smile remained present as he insedted a second finger inside of you, starting to move his hand teasingly slow. Your body squirming underneath him, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, rocking his hips against your leg while he fingered you. You could feel his erection through his boxers, making you even more needy than you already were.

"Parker" you moaned out softly, remembering your hands were actually free and you could move them, immediately attaching to his shoulders, which was the closest body part besides his head. He looked up at you after you called out for him, grabbing your face with his hand and kissing you.

"Peter" you moaned again against his lips, feeling his skin shiver from that. I never considered what effect you actually had on him. "Please, I want to feel you."

After you begged him, he wasted no time pulling your panties down, unressing himself as well. His arms spread your legs forcefully, positioning himself between them. You didn't really manage to follow everything he was doing because you were too eager yourself, pushing up against him in hopes to speed up the process. He pinned you down by the waist, shaking his head in disapproval at your actions. Peter didn't like it when you disobeyed him, even though it was the only thing you were good at doing. He lined himself up to you, teasing you lightly with his tip as a warning before he inserter himself inside, both of you moaning from the act. You felt something like actual electricity when he did that, making you breath heavy from the ecstacy. His hips moved rythmically, along with yours. He was still holding you by the waist, standing on his knees while he fucked into you. You moved your leg up on his shoulder, making him smile and kiss it, one of his hands running up and down it while both of you looked into echother's eyes. You enjoyed the view, so much, his naked toned body, his messy hair, that gorgeous face, your leg on his shoulder while he moved. It was hypnotysing, breathtaking, made your legs shake alone. He could feel you tighthen up around him, making him laugh softly.

"So soon?" he asked, noticing how you started squrming more than in the beginning, legs shaking from time to time, moans becoming more freaquent

"Peter, I'm really close" you managed to say, hands gripping on the sheets around you. His grip on your waist taightened as he went faster and deeper, making you whines more prominent than before. You walls started clenching around him, feeling yourself already starting to cum on him. He placed a hand on your lower stomach, applying slight pressure on it which really sent you over the edge, whole body shaking, heavy breathing and moaning uncontrolablly. He had to hold you down while you came, leaning forward and pecking your lips after you calmed down.

"I need a moment too" he whispered against your lips "Can you handle it for me?"

You nodded, letting him continue rocking his hips into you. You were covered in sweat and so was he, bodies pressed against eachother as he moaned softly in your ear, your legs wrapped around his waist to stop the shaking from the overstimulation.

"Peter" you mumbled against his ear ''I think you're really hot... like, way hotter than I expected''

"Fuck" he replied, pulling out of you and stroking his lenght a few times before he came on your stomach, both of you panting. He lay down next to you for a second, kissing your forehead and hugging you.

"You did so well" he praised you, starting to leave small butterfly kisses all over your face. You laughed softly, cuddling into him.

"We should go take a shower"

"Are you suggesting a second round in your shower?"

"No! Well... maybe, okay, yes"

Jake furrows his eyebrows slightly. It clicks in his head all at once. He’s in the middle of an episode of the Real Housewives and you’re not sitting with him. He looks around. He’s on the couch alone. It’s easy for him to zone out when he’s really into a tv show. He’d never admit that shitty reality TV has the power to do that to him.

Something in the back of his mind tells him that the music coming from the other side of the house has been playing for a while. It’s one of those times where he has heard everything, whilst hearing none of it at the same time.

His brain is busy catching him up on the past thirty minutes that he’s been staring at the TV like a zombie.

You’re blaring passive aggressive music. Mad at my boyfriend type tracks. He can hear you shutting drawers with a little more force than normal. He squints. He feels it like a change in the wind. Something is wrong. He tries to think. What has he done — or not done — to warrant this behaviour?

He gives himself a few minutes to think. He’s stumped. It’s a Sunday, one of the rare days he doesn’t have anything going on. He figured you’d watch your show together. He isn’t sure how long ago you left the couch.

Jake pushes himself up from the couch and pads through the house until he’s standing in the doorway to your room. You’re reorganising. Sitting in the middle of your bedroom floor, surrounded by various clothes and trinkets. Decluttering. This is bad. His eyes widen slightly at the bomb site your bedroom has become in the midst of your spring cleaning.

“Baby,” He speaks tenderly, still standing in the doorway. His brows are furrowed in concern, but for the most part, he just looks baffled. “Are we fighting right now?”

You look up at him. God, your poker face is good when you want it to be. For the life of him, he can’t tell what’s going on. Then, you roll your eyes and resume decluttering.

“Is it something I can fix?” He folds his arms over his chest. You glare up at him. That’s a no. “Would some absolutely filthy sex make it better?” Even. Bigger. No.

“How about some clean, mediocre sex? — Can I interest you in some of that? — I’ll call Rooster and ask him for some tips.” You don’t smile. His joke doesn’t land. He presses his lips together, folding his arms over his chest.

There’s a moment of silence between the two of you.

“Baby, I can’t fix it if I don’t know what I did wrong.” He sighs.

“You should know what you did wrong,” You answer. He’s glad you’re talking now. Then, you push yourself up from the floor and shove past him, “God, do I have to spell everything out for you?”

His lips part, wounded as he turns to face the direction you just went.

“Wait, what?” He follows after you. You shouldn’t have said that, he isn’t going to let this go now. “I’m so lost right now. What did I do?”

You rummage through the kitchen cabinets, your back to him as he finally catches up to you.

“Forget it.” You mutter, not bothering to look at him. It’s ridiculous trying to get him to figure it out on his own, but you really cannot be bothered to spell it out for him. You’d rather that he just left you alone.

He’s standing in the kitchen now, looking even more confused than before. He looks so stupid. It’s the middle of summer and it’s pretty warm, he’s standing there in nothing but a pair of black boxers, looking like he’s trying to solve a difficult riddle in his head. Jake likes to lounge around in his underwear on his days off — not that you’ve ever complained. Especially not when paired with the time off stubble that accompanies it.

If you weren’t so mad, you would’ve kissed that stupid pretty face all over. But you are mad, so you just glare at it instead.

“Baby, whatever it is, I can make it better. Can we please just talk about this?” Jake frowns as he reaches out to touch you. You roll your eyes and dodge him.

“You were supposed to pick up that package that I told you about last night.”

“Fuck, is that it? — I thought-“ The look on your face tells him he needs to not finish that sentence. He blinks at you, even more confused than before. “It’s just a package. I can go get it now.”

You roll your eyes and shove past him, “It’s too late now, they close at 3 on weekends.” He hates when you do that. Jake turns quickly and follows you back into the bedroom.

“You’ve been home all morning too, you could’ve—“ Again, he shuts up. You round on him. This time he takes a step back.

“You said that you’d do it.” You point out firmly, settling back down to aggressively sort through a pile of his old college t-shirts. They don’t even fit him anymore. Although you would like to see him try to fit back into a men’s medium and see the way his arms bulge out of the sleeves. Maybe some other time, when he isn’t on your last nerve.

“I will do it. I can do it tomorrow.” Jake shrugs. You throw one of the pencils on the floor at his head, missing and hitting the wall beside him.

“I didn’t want it tomorrow, I needed it today. If you’d just said you weren’t going to do it, I could’ve done it-“

Jake shakes his head, “This isn’t about the package.” He might be blonde, but maybe he isn’t as dumb as he looks. You stop talking and let out a heavy breath.

“It’s about you always making me promises that you don’t keep,” You snap. It’s a rare occasion for you to raise your voice at him, so he knows something is really getting under your skin. “You’re just full of shit!”

“Where is all of this coming from? — Why are you freaking out right now?” Jake asks, folding his arms over his chest.

“Because!” You snap, then look up at him through narrowed eyes. “Because, Jake, I need a partner who can support me — I need us to be in this together or not at all.”

“Woah!” Jake snaps back, “Not at all? — Can you calm down for five seconds? I’m all in! What more could I possibly do to prove that to you?”

You growl in frustration, realising that you’ve forgotten the marker that you wanted in the kitchen. You push yourself to your feet again and shove past him, “You could pick up the damn package when I ask you to.”

Jake turns, grabbing your wrist and stopping you before you can walk away, “Hey. That’s not nice. I’m not your lapdog.”

“Just leave me alone, Jake.” You pull yourself out of his grasp and storm towards the kitchen. You hear him following you and debate sticking your ankle out to grip him. Instead, since you do love him really, you just grab your marker and turn.

“So I’m just supposed to be at your beck and call?” Jake asks.

“No, Jake — I’ve done everything this week. Grocery shopping, cleaning, ironing, I put gas in your car, I mowed the lawn, watered the plants, I sent your mom a birthday card because you forgot—“ Jake’s eyes go wide as he realises that there are more things you could list off if you wanted to.

“I’ve been—“

You lift your palm and silence him. You’re too angry for excuses. “All I asked… was that you pick up the package.”

Jake lets you shove him again as you pass back towards your room. He stands there in the kitchen in his underwear for a moment, lips pursed as he squints at the floor tile.

He turns around and follows after you. You turn and open your mouth to yell at him to leave you alone, the breath knocked out of you as he grabs your face and kisses you hard.

“Jake — either you need to apologise right now, or you need to get off of me.”

“I’m sorry, of course I’m sorry.” Jake’s thinking with his dick. He slides a hand around to the back of your neck and crashes his mouth against you once more, nipping at your bottom lip then slipping his tongue into your mouth.

You dig your fingernails into his shoulder, gasping as he knocks you hard toward the bed and covers your body with his.

“But in my-“

“Shut up,” You look him dead in the eye, completely serious. “Fuck me and I’ll let it go, but I don’t want to hear another excuse out of your mouth, Seresin.”

He already has your shorts down by your knees, nodding his head furiously. You work with him, tugging your tank top over your head and kicking your shorts off of your ankles until you’re naked.

Jake grabs your thighs and puts them against his ears as he settles between your legs. You gasp softly as he spits, groaning softly as he watches it trail along your core. Then, he leans forward and follows the trail back up with his tongue.

You grab a handful of hair and push your hips up against him, glad that his mouth is finally busy doing something other than pissing you off. Jake grips your thighs tight, lifting his eyes to look at you as his tongue presses flat and firm against your clit, then works heavy figure eights against the sensitive bundle of nerves.

You can practically feel the smugness in his movements as he feels you twitch slightly. You tug harder at his blonde locks. Jake grunts like he’s been punched, the sound sending vibrations across the most sensitive part of your body and earning a delicious moan.

His fingers squeeze around your thighs, he stops and kisses each of them before planting his mouth between your legs again, making you whimper.

As much of an airhead as Jake has been these past few weeks, you do have to admit that his skills in the bedroom have never once faltered. Jake’s always impressive, and he takes pride in being impressive in the bedroom especially.

He nudges his tongue against your entrance, nose brushing your clit as he teases you.

“Jake, now — I need you right now.”

He nips gently at your thigh, grinning as he sits back onto his knees and flips you onto your front. He kicks his boxers off into the mix of mess that’s on the floor, grabbing the back of your neck and pushing your cheek down into the sheets.

Once you’re settled exactly like he wants you to be, he puts both hands on your hips and presses himself into you. You suck in a sharp breath, whimpering softly as he bottoms out and smacks your ass.

It makes you burn with anger for a moment; you can practically feel that stupid smirk on his stupid face. But then he pulls out almost completely and stills there for just a split second before he drives himself into you again.

“Oh- ah, oh my god.”

Jake slides his palm along your spine and curls it into your hair, groaning as he feels your walls adjusting to his size, squeezing around him.

“Always take me so fucking well, sweetheart.” He grunts out, tugging softly at your roots, pushing your skull harder into the mattress. You moan out, pushing your hips back to meet his thrusts. “Even when you’re mad at me, can’t help how bad you need it, huh?”

You’re blinded by how good he feels for just a second before what he has said hits you.

“Stop talking, you asshole.” You mumble out against the sheets, “I’m not fucking arguing with you whilst you’re — shit — inside of me.”

Jake leans down and kisses your spine, snapping his hips forward with a little aggression behind it. Just something left behind pent up from what he didn’t get to say to you in the kitchen.

You settle back into it, closing your eyes. You moan his name, curling your fingers in your sheets as he pounds his hips into you. Jake loves this sound.

His head lulls back in pleasure. So good he thinks he might be seeing stars when he comes back around. But then he can’t help but thinking. He tries to stop.

Tries to let it go. Now isn’t the right time. You two can figure this out later. He should probably just apologise and forget this dumb argument. But, Jake hates losing arguments.

It’s in his DNA. His hardwiring. He really can’t help it. He doesn’t plan to say it, nor does he know exactly which stupid part of his stupid brain drives him to say,

“Actually, no, I’m not done,”

He lets out a heavy breath. You whimper nonsensically as he drives himself deep into you with a grunt. Your brows furrow as he lifts the pressure from the back of your skull, you lift your head from the sheets and look back at him. He pulls out, grabbing your hip and flipping you onto your back, “You’re gonna fucking look at me and listen.”

Your mouth falls agape. You’re on your back, chest heaving as you stare up at him.

Jake takes a moment to admire that dumb look on your face, pleased that he seems to have fucked you into being at a loss for words finally. His hands slide along your torso, cupping your breasts and groaning softly as he squeezes them in his hands.

“I love you.” There’s a level of aggression in his voice as he tells you. He slides one hand between his legs, fisting his cock a few times as he pinches your nipple with his other hand. “You know that, sweetheart.”

You’re dumbstruck. You haven’t even closed your mouth yet. You whimper softly as he lowers his head and kisses across your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking at the sensitive bud.

“Right?” You take a sharp breath as he lifts his head to look at you once more, those sharp blue eyes staring into yours. He lifts his hand and curls it around your jaw, lifting his brows expectantly. You nod. You’re nodding hurriedly, closing your mouth as you try to ground yourself.

Jake let’s out a breath, guiding his cock between your legs and sinking into you once more. You whimper, pressing your heels into the sheets as you take him in.

“Right,” He agrees, tugging you closer to him until he’s seat totally inside of you. “So tell me why,” He pauses and settles closer, kissing your lips as he begins to roll his hips against yours, “You think that I would ever — ever let you down on purpose.”

“Jake,” You growl in frustration, pushing yourself hard against him, gasping as his cock brushes deeper into you. “Fuck — can’t this fucking wait?” You complain.

He shakes his head quickly, the corner of his mouth hinting at a smile, “I can multitask. You just keep those pretty eyes on me and listen. Got it?” You nod dumbly.

He makes a soft pleasured sound as he curls his fingers around your hipbone. “I’d do anything for you. Anything in the world. I’m sorry that I’ve been forgetful recently.”

You curl you fingers around his bicep. All he’s doing is sending your earlier frustrations bubbling to the surface now that he’s bringing this up again, “Harder.”

Jake takes his hand off of your jaw and plants it into the pillow beside your head, gripping the fabric tightly as he snaps his hips forward sharply.

“Fuck!”

He groans out and swallows hard as he continues at the pace, pulling back and bottoming out over and over until your eyes are rolling back.

“I’ve been busy, we both have,” He continues, making you cry out in frustration. “I’m sorry. But I’m not doing it on purpose.”

“Jake — shut the f- Oh.” You moan against the curve of his shoulder, pressing your fingertips into his shoulder blade.

“I’ve been trying really hard to plan something and I’m — shit — not gonna lie, babe, you almost ruined it today.” Jake pants. He kisses your temple and moans your name, feeling your pussy clench around him in response.

“But I forgive you, because that’s — god — that’s what we do, right?” He turns your head so that you’re looking at him. You look so pretty when he’s fucked every sensical thought you might have right out of your head. He raises eyebrows at you expectantly. You nod.

He smiles, grabbing your jaw and pressing his mouth hard against yours. You catch the back of his neck and hold him close, swiping your tongue across his bottom lip, trembling as he fucks you.

He groans into your mouth as you clench around his cock, making him pull back and breathe hard, “Fuck, you feel so good.” He murmurs against your hair, swallowing.

“I’m so close, don’t you dare fucking stop.” Jake smiles softly into the crook of your neck, pressing his lips lazily against your skin as he pounds into you. He shakes his head, groaning softly once more, “Wouldn’t dream of it, honey.”

He slides one hand between your legs to stroke circles around your clit, brushing over the bundle of nerves in figure eights with his fingertips.

Jake’s fingers curl tighter into the pillow beside your head. He brushes his lips over your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to your temple.

“I love you.” Jake repeats, his voice strained slightly as he nears closer to his high. He grunts against your earlobe. “Say it back.”

“Fuck,” You manage out, “I — ugh— oh my god, Jake.”

You arch your back off of the sheets, pushing your heels into the mattress, clawing at the back of his neck for leverage. He presses harder against you, groaning out as your nails leave streaks of red along the length of his back.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Jake grins. He pulls you tighter against him, pulling back to get a good look at that pretty, fucked out face as you come down from your high. You whimper from the sensitivity, sliding your fingers up into his hair. It’s slightly more grown out than normal thanks to his time off, giving you plenty of soft, sandy hair to curl your fingers into.

“Holy shit.” You gasp out, lifting your head and pressing your lips to his throat. Jake groans softly as your lips graze his stubble. He hikes your legs up higher around his waist.

“Goddamn, baby.” Jake grunts. He manages a few more hurried thrusts, white-knuckling around your hipbone before he’s spilling inside of you. He presses his lips to your cheekbone.

He rolls off of you, laying at your side and taking in heaving breaths. “How’d I get so god damn lucky?” He pants, draping an arm over his eyes. You smile as you lean over and kiss his chest, salt from his sweat glistened skin grazing your lips.

“I have no idea.” You tease as you push yourself up from the bed. You sigh as you look at the mess around the floor, stepping over a pile of books to head for the bathroom.

Jake groans as he rolls onto his front, propping himself up on his elbows as he watches you.

“I meant what I said,” He pushes his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry I’ve been kinda spaced out, but I love you and I’m gonna work hard to make sure that-“

“I’m more interested in that surprise you mentioned.” You tell him as you peek back around the door for a moment, then disappear again. Jake smirks. He pushes himself up and grabs his boxers, slipping back into them and crossing the room.

You look into the bathroom mirror as he moves to stand behind you, then kiss your temple. “All in good time, sweetheart.”

He watches as you bite your cheek. He scrunches his brows at you. You’re keeping something too. You’ve got a feeling yours is going to be a little more life-altering than his.

So, the next day, Jake goes and collects the package. He hands it to you without realising that it holds a drastic piece of information about his future. You wrap the gift and plan to give it to him on his anniversary. Jake has a surprise planned for your anniversary too.

He’s been planning it for months now. These past few weeks of fine details have been hell, but he can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see the ring he has picked.

You, on the other hand, are terrified of the face he’ll make when he’s presented with the custom ‘daddy’s wingman’ onesie you had made for him, that you then made him collect from the post office unknowingly.

It didn't stop him from feeling as cold as the weather outside.

Random bouts of insomnia weren't new to him, but he couldn't put his finger on what his issue was tonight. It was a good day filled with happy moments thanks to you, the neighbor he harbored a crush on. He moved into the building around the same time as you after his pardon and someone delivered one of your packages to his door by mistake. Luckily you lived just across the hall and he made sure the box ended up in your hands.

He hadn’t expected a goddess in human form to answer the door.

“I got your box,” he said harsher than he intended to.

He half expected you to slam the door in his face for his tone. If you recognized him as the former Winter Soldier, you kept it to yourself. In fact, you didn’t look afraid of him at all as you took the box from his hands. He almost told you that you should be scared of him.

“Thank you so much for bringing it over,” you smiled.

It was the start of an unexpected friendship. He tried to find excuses to stop and talk to you whenever he saw you, which ended with him giving you an awkward smile in the beginning before he walked away. He used to know how to talk to girls and it was silly having a crush on a neighbor when he was trying to get his head on straight.

If only you didn’t make it so easy to want.

And you either found him endearing or entertaining since you began to invite him over for dinners.

Every other week, you’d trade off meals and talk about the day. You split your day between your job and making and selling jewelry online. The pieces you showed him were beautiful. You put so much care into them.

While he couldn’t give you all the details of his missions, he found himself more comfortable talking to you as time went on. One of the things he liked was that you always asked what he needed. If he wanted advice, you’d give it. If he wanted you to listen, you did just that. If he just wanted to talk, you chatted with ease.

You even stayed up with him after a few nightmares.

He was used to dealing with people who had agendas or messed with his head, but you didn’t play games.

Steve and Sam were both happy when he finally told them about you. After the former Captain America found his own girl and a bit of peace after everything, he hoped Bucky was on the path to doing the same. It impressed Sam that he actually talked to you instead of keeping everything inside.

It didn’t stop him from feeling like a burden some days.

“You’re always welcome at my place and you can always talk to me, Jamie.”

No one else was allowed to call him that.

When you heard he wasn’t doing anything around the holidays, you offered to make him a nice dinner since you wouldn't be around your family. They were, unfortunately, too far away for a quick visit. You joked that he had to watch a movie with you after dinner if he decided to come over. It was nice that you extended an invitation to him, especially when he didn’t have any traditions or anything else to look forward to.

Bucky had every intention of getting you the perfect present until an extended mission came up. He barely made it back in time to see you. Steve had to rush home to his girl and the same with Sam and his family. He declined both of their offers for him to join them, not wanting to impose on them or let you down by not showing up.

"You made it!" you said excitedly when you opened the door, looking as gorgeous as ever in a little black dress. He'd fantasize about you in it later. "You aren't hurt? You're okay?"

"Not a scratch," he assured you when he stopped staring.

"Good," you sighed in relief. "May I give you a hug? I missed you."

You didn't give him hugs without his permission and he appreciated your thoughtfulness that he might not want to be touched some days. He held his arms out for you as he wordlessly answered, taking a moment to cherish your embrace when you moved close. He didn't let it linger since he didn't want you to be uncomfortable.

But he wished he would've held you a bit longer.

"Missed you, too," he whispered as you led him inside.

If he read into it, he would’ve thought the setup was romantic. He felt a little underdressed in his leather jacket and jeans, but you didn't judge. You served by candlelight and you made sure to include all sorts of dishes he enjoyed. He ate and savored every bite. You even had a gift waiting for him under the tree before you started the movie.

He almost hugged the personalized apron and small book of recipes you made for him. He already had a meal in mind to make for you as a thank you for the next weekly dinner. But that wasn't all. You pulled out a small, white and black box from the back of the tree and handed it to him.

"You're spoiling me," he joked.

"I wanted to," you teased, messing with the hem of your dress as he opened the box.

He held his breath as he held up the dog tags. They were almost an exact replica of the ones around his neck, but there was a difference when he flipped one of them over. He ran his thumb over the letters as he read them out loud.

"I am James Bucky Barnes."

He explained to you once his need to make amends. That he was no longer the Winter Soldier. That he didn't have a choice. You took his words and created a gift for him.

His hands destroyed so many things while yours brought beauty into the world.

"I hope you like it," you said, still messing with your dress. A nervous habit he picked up on. "I know you wear yours, but I thought it would be nice to have those just in case."

"Thank you," he croaked, clearing his throat as he carefully placed them back in the box. "And I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet for not having your gift ready."

"You came over and spent the evening with me. That is a gift," you said with such sincerity that he wasn’t worthy of receiving.

Of course you wouldn’t take any offense that he showed up empty-handed. Why were you so kind to him? He wished there was mistletoe nearby simply to have the excuse to kiss you. He also wanted to thank you for making him feel at home.

Do I have a home anymore?

Naturally, he chose to flee when that thought became too much.

"You sure you don't want to stay?" you asked carefully as he gathered his things and got ready to leave. “We don’t have to watch the movie.”

"I should get back to my place, but thank you," was all he said.

His place, but not his home.

"Are you okay?" you asked.

"I will be," he said, not wanting to lie to you.

You nodded and thanked him for stopping by. You also told him to call or come back if he needed anything. The image of your sad smile as you walked him to the door would haunt him. He just knew it. He wondered if you’d ever invite him over again for another dinner after his abrupt departure.

He attempted to meditate once he got home, but it didn’t quiet his mind. Working out got some of the tension in his body out, but not much else. He debated going back to your place, but it was too late by then.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Bucky rubbed a hand over his face before his eyes trailed to the clock on the wall. It was almost 3am and he knew sleep wouldn't come to him. He grabbed his phone and debated calling you. He didn’t want to disturb you, but he wanted to hear your voice.

He half hoped you wouldn’t answer since you deserved a peaceful night of sleep, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep himself until the two of you talked.

You answered on the second ring. “Hey, Bucky,” you said with a small yawn.

Were you up waiting for me to call or did I wake you?

“I’m sorry about tonight,” he said immediately. He had to get that out there.

“Please, don’t apologize,” you replied. He knew he should’ve let you rest. “Do you need me to listen, talk, or give advice?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his vibranium hand forming a fist as he took a deep breath. “You treated me to a nice night. The best night and I just,” he gritted his teeth and exhaled through his nose. “Fuck, I don’t know.”

He was at a loss because everything tonight was right and he didn’t know what was wrong. If he couldn’t pinpoint the issue, how could he know how to fix it? How could you? It was bad enough when he was alone with his own mind and nightmares, but it was another when he felt helpless.

He didn’t like that sense of control being taken away from his own thoughts.

“Do you mind if I say something?” you offered after a few more seconds of silence.

“Not at all,” he whispered, if only to hear you speak.

“I think you might be feeling a bit alone or lost,” you said. He heard a bit of shuffling around and wondered if you were trying to get comfortable. “Holidays, for many, are about being with family and friends. When was the last time you got to celebrate with your loved ones?”

“Before I went off to war,” he whispered.

He swallowed as he put his head on the pillow. Hydra made sure he never felt the happiness of this time of year. The couple of years he went into hiding after the fall, he was alone. After healing in Wakanda, he went back into the fight. The snap happened.

And his family?

They’re long gone now.

Sam, Nat, everyone had their own traditions. Steve lost so much and deserved his quiet moments outside of the city. None of them needed to rearrange their lives to accommodate him.

Holidays were a joyous time, but also a reminder of things lost and what could have been.

“Jamie,” you breathed out. “If my dinner tonight upset you in any way, I’m-”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he stopped you, gripping his phone tighter. “It isn’t your fault my family is gone and you aren’t the cause of my pain.”

One of the reasons he respected you was because you didn’t pity him. He didn’t want you to start tonight.

“Then I need you to take back your apology because you aren’t the cause of my pain either,” you argued.

Touche.

“But I left you alone after you went to all that trouble and had those gifts made for me,” he said.

Why are you not mad at me?

“It wasn’t any trouble, but maybe it was too much or overwhelming."

“I swear, it wasn’t,” he said. How could he make you believe him? “I just have no traditions now. No special meals, movies, gifts, things to pass on, nothing."

He did just fine on his own for years, but things changed. He wouldn’t have believed he deserved happy moments before therapy and meeting you, but he did and he does. You gave him a taste of what he could have. Why couldn't he let himself take it?

"Maybe I can help you create a new tradition."

"You're done more than enough," he promised, smiling at your offer.

You've done more than you could ever know.

“I wanted to give you a special night, but I didn’t check in to see if the holiday dinner was what you really wanted. I should’ve asked, Jamie.”

“Are you kidding? Without you, I wouldn’t have even had a holiday to celebrate. It was perfect,” he promised you, standing up as he tried to gather the courage to say that you are perfect. “Did you know the only thing I wanted to do when I got back was see you?”

“Really?” you asked in a small voice. “That was the only thing you wanted?”

“Really,” he said. It wasn’t a full confession, but it was coming out. “And that’s exactly what I got, so thank you.”

“Well, to be honest, the reason I suggested a movie was so we could possibly cuddle,” you admitted.

And I fucking ruined it.

“I would’ve liked cuddling,” he said, smirking a bit. “And I really liked your dress.”

“I wore that just for you,” you said in a hushed voice, like you were trying to keep quiet. “Is there anything else about tonight that you wish would’ve been different? If you could do it all over again?”

“Honestly?” he said, not caring that he only had his boxer briefs on as he left his bedroom and headed toward the main door. “I would’ve kissed you the moment I got back from the mission.”

Even with his super soldier hearing, he had no idea you were on the other side of the door until he opened it. You still had your phone in hand as you gazed at him, no longer wearing the black dress. You switched to red and green pajamas that looked amazing on you, but he would prefer them on his floor.

“New tradition proposal,” you smiled as you stepped inside and ended the call. “We have a nice meal together, exchange gifts by the tree, and cuddle on the couch for a movie.

"Okay," he smiled, hanging up his phone, too.

"And end the night with a kiss," you said hopefully.

“I don’t think so,” he shook his head.

Your face fell when you took a step back. “Oh. I’m sorry. I should-”

He reached out to pull you back toward him, smiling when your eyes widened. “Kiss me every chance you get," he said as he removed his dog tags and put them around your neck. "Starting right now.”

You smiled just as bright as you did the first day he met you. “I think I’m going to like this tradition.”

“Me, too,” he whispered, pressing his lip against yours.

Bucky couldn’t wait to start many more traditions with you.

What other traditions would we like to see from our new couple? ❤️ Love and thanks for reading! ❤️