nami

prompts :

serendipity : occurrence/development of events in a happy or beneficial way

tacenda : things better left unsaid

agastopia : facination/love for a particular part of somebody's body

halfpace : a landing where one staircase ends and another begins

kakorrhaphobia : fear of failure

erlebnisse : the experiences, positive or negative, that we feel most deeply

orphic : entrancing

nepenthe / novaturient : something that makes you forget pain/grief

mizpah : deep bond bentween people separated by distance/death

saudade : longing to be near something again

alpas : to break free

kairos : the perfect moment

metanoia : the journey of changing one's mind/heart/self/way of life

oenomel : combination of strength and sweetness

trouvaille : something lovely discovered by chance

orenda : a mystical force present in all people that empowers them to affect the world or to effect changes in their own lives

yugen : a profound awareness of the universe that triggers a deep emotional response

numinous : escribing an experience that makes you fearful yet fascinated, awed yet attracted-the powerful, personal feeling of being overwhelmed and inspired

woolgathering : immersed in daydreaming

sehnsucht : a yearning for a far, familiar, non-earthly land one can identify as one’s home

alamort : half dead from exhaustion

soteriophobia : fear of relying on others

alexithymia : inability to describe feelings in wordly manner

athazagoraphobia : fear of forgetting or being forgotten

redamancy : to love and be loved back

pisanthrophobia : afraid to trust due to past

oneirataxia : inability to distinguish fantasy and reality

Author’s POV

“Miss me too much Y/N? Hahaha, I’m on the way home right now. Do you need something?”

Y/N’s voice quivered as she said her next words.

“I need you to pack your things.”

Chan was taken aback, least to say. His heart was just barely holding on. He told himself she meant something else. She had to mean something else.

“W-What do you mean? Are we moving? Going on a trip?”

His trembling response made it worse for her. She truly didn’t want to explain it. She didn’t want to say it. If she had to say it all out, it would make it real. All of it would become real.

“I need you to pack your things and leave my house. Leave your key here, don’t leave anything that’s yours here and don’t come back.”

Y/N had to swallow her sob before continuing.

“I need you to get out of my life.”

Chan stopped his car. Luckily, he was already outside. When she called, he immediately stepped harder on the accelerator. He was outside. He could storm in and demand an answer. But he also couldn’t. Chan’s heart just wanted to cry.

She had asked him to get out of her life.

He couldn’t bear to face her now. Tears fell.

“I’m sorry for everything Y/N. I hope you’ll be happy after this.”

He hung up and drove away, leaving his things behind. He drove to his own apartment which was dirty and dusty from him avoiding it. He hadn’t needed it sinec he’d been living with Y/N for the past year. When he broke through the door, he collapsed onto the dusty carpet and wept. Clutching his heart in pain, he cried in the dark, only the floor before him illuminated by the hallway light.

<>

Happy? How could she ever be happy without him?

Y/N lost her grip on her phone and it landed on the floor with a bump. Angry tears flooded down her face. Her hands lost themselves in her hair. They combed through her hair, just like he would do when she was upset. 

She needed him. More than air or food or water, she needed him. She wanted him here. She didn’t want him to leave. But she had no choice.

Her parents had ordered her to remove Chan from her life. To her, Chan was the love of her life, but to them, he was a waste of time. Y/N’s family had always preferred men with a name in society. Chan was an average man who worked at a convenience store. Y/N’s parents had arranged a marriage between her and their favorite chosen one, Seungkwan. 

Seungkwan’s family had done business with Y/N’s parents for ages and she knew him almost too well. She had absolutely no interest in him, in fact. She only saw a friend in Seungkwan. She loved Chan too much to have to tell him she was to be married off to someone else. This was the best option to save him from that.

Too mentally tired to eat dinner, Y/N’s eyes fell upon Chan’s favorite hoodie. She gripped it tightly in her shaking hands before slipping it on. It still smelt of him and kept her warm like his arms would. She lay down and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

<>

Months passed. Eventually Chan realized he needed to go back to Y/N’s place to get his things. The things he’d left there were irreplaceable, like his camera, his photo albums, his favorite hoodie. All those things hurt to have, to be honest. But it hurt more to be without them. Knowing maybe she’d hurt more having them there.

He still had his key, so he made sure to go when Y/N was supposed to be out. He quietly let himself in and went to their shared room. Chan froze in his tracks. 

Y/N was there. She was sleeping in their bed, on his side of the bed. Chan wanted to go to her, and hold her in his arms. She was wearing his hoodie. His favorite hoodie. 

Tears burned in his eyes but Chan wiped them away. Y/N needed him out of her life. He wasn’t even supposed to be there. He had to get his things and get out. 

So he did. He took his camera and albums from their dusty shelf above Y/N's photo frames of them. He did his best not to look around too much.

So much had changed. Y/N’s room was littered with food wrappers and dirty clothes when she was always hated when Chan left things lying around. Chan felt a sharp pain in his chest. He had to go. 

He looked back one last time. One last look at someone who used to be his. 

And he couldn’t bring himself to leave Y/N in that condition.

Chan left an hour later, after he cleaned Y/N’s room and put her clothes in the laundry. As he drove home, there was only one thought on his mind.

She was wearing my hoodie. The cold is all that can protect her from, but I hope that’s enough.

Y/N’s POV

I wonder who’s coming.

My parents were throwing a reunion party tonight. I saw the invitations read “to bring back familiar faces'' but I knew they just wanted all their friends and family to know about their company’s recent jackpot deal. I wasn’t complaining. They’ve worked hard, balancing their company and me. One look at my wardrobe and anyone could see I was a bit more than spoiled. Weaving two silver fish-shaped combs through my lengthy hair, I wondered who I would meet. I was accustomed to meeting my parents’ business partners or former colleagues but a small part of me hoped I would meet familiar faces. I wasn’t even sure if I knew any familiar faces. I sighed internally as I smeared some rouge on my cheeks. 

“Someone’s looking just ravishing tonight.”

I didn’t have to turn to know it was my stepbrother, Daniel, standing in the doorway. Daniel has to be the only person who could ever relate to me. We grew up together after my mom died and my father remarried to his mother. Minus his weird attempts at flirtation, he was my closest companion. 

“Of course I do.”

He chuckled at my retort and informed me that guests had begun to arrive. So I accompanied him downstairs to the dining room in my blood red gown that was cropped at my shoulders. We gave the guests the same practiced smile we had since we turned thirteen. I was right; there were mostly my parents’ work friends and I didn’t particularly recognise any.

This is going to be a long night.

<>

After a while, Daniel left my side to find food and I wandered the party mindlessly.  Looking around, there was truly no one I knew. I wasn’t interested in anyone here.

How can my parents call this a party?

“Y/N! There you are darling!”

I turned to see my stepmother calling to me. I smiled and walked over. 

“I want you to talk to some people. I think you’ve met Mr and Mrs Lee..and their son, Jihoon!”

J-Jihoon?

Mr and Mrs Lee were dressed to the nines in a suit and a gown that looked almost as expensive as mine. But it was their son that was just breathtaking. His hair was a dusty blonde now, probably influenced by the American people he’s been living with. I haven’t seen Jihoon since he moved. He was slightly taller, and tanner. Definitely stronger - his bicep muscles were accentuated in his white suit. I couldn’t believe it’s been five years.

Mr and Mrs Lee caught me staring and decided to leave us. Jihoon looked straight into my eyes. His eyes were pools so deep I was afraid I might drown in them. I coughed loudly to break our eye contact. 

“So..how are you?”

He gave me a faint smile. “I’ve been better.”

I nodded. He walked closer to me and I felt myself hold my breath. He looked at me with the same sad eyes from five years ago. My heart melted at the sight of it. We stood there, silence hanging over us. There was so much to say. Neither of us knew where to start. We ended things so badly; I didn’t know if we could act normal towards each other anymore. We’d went from strangers to lovers to strangers. 

Throughout the whole time we stood there, his gaze never left my eyes. He’d licked his lips once or twice. His skin was so gloriously tanned. I noticed his hair was a bit longer, upon closer observation. I could feel the same desire in me burning through him. I wanted to hold him close like before, to kiss him and be with him. But my hands remained at my sides, as did his. Finally, it was him that ended the silence. 

“It was good to see you, Y/N. I’m sorry we ended things on a bad note before.”

He leant in and, ever so gently, he planted a kiss on my cheek. Blush crept across my face from the moment his lips disconnected from my skin. He gave me another thin smile and began to turn away. My hand instinctively reached out to pull him back, but I stopped. 

What use would it do now? I really did want to be with him again but I just didn’t know how. Hopelessness swam in my gut,

As if hearing my thoughts, Jihoon turned back. 

“I want to see you again.”

I let out the breath I was holding and genuinely smiled. I couldn’t help myself. My grin snaked around my face. He let out a laugh at my grin. Taking my hand, he pressed another kiss onto my lips. I relished the taste of his lips. Breaking the kiss, I pressed my forehead onto his. 

“You have no idea, but I have waited so long to see you again.”

Y/N’s POV

The clock on the wall shows 11 PM. I let out a sigh and turned to place my back on the bed. It was late and my baby tiger still wasn’t home. I knew where he was, but that didn’t make my heart feel any better - especially with his arrival back home every night getting later and later by the day.

Soonyoung has been very busy getting ready for SEVENTEEN’s comeback, and it was starting to get to him. I knew he wanted to make sure this comeback was perfect, to make his CARATs happy during this bland time of the pandemic. He was so sweet and thoughtful. He always put others before himself. Just last week, he sat down to watch a movie with me because we hadn’t spent much time together that week. I chuckled thinking how he’d fallen asleep before the middle of the movie. 

Suddenly, I heard the jiggling of keys and the turning of the lock. He was home. I already knew it was him. I heard him dragging his feet across the carpet. He sighed loudly. My heart ached at how tired he sounded. I think he noticed me because he immediately stopped dragging his feet and lifted them instead, to prevent me from waking up. 

I was about to get up to greet him when I felt his presence behind me. I didn’t move. He crawled into bed beside me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face into my neck. I smiled, my cheeks heating up at his comforting touch. I turned around, surprising him by the look on his face.

Tears started to prick my eyes when I realized how tired he looked. The makeup he wore to cover his eyebags was fading and they were very bad. His cheeks were sunken in and he looked paler. My fingers traced his cheekbones slowly. He smiled. A tear fell at how it looked forced. Kissing his forehead, I held him close. 

This was his favorite comfort source. He told me countless times all he wanted when he was down was to be close to me and sleep. I had laughed at the time but as our relationship went on, I realized it meant a lot to him.

“Happy birthday my tiger,” I whispered into his hair.

“Oh my god it’s my birthday! I actually forgot babe! Hahahaha well as long as I spend my birthday with you it’s a great birthday.”

“Soonyoung…”

I sat up and brushed my hand through his hair. He deserved all the love in the world. His smile was one of the most precious smiles in the world. He always cared so much about those around him and always did his best in everything. I wanted the best for him. So we spent his birthday lying in bed in each other’s arms, wrapped in the warmth of our love for each other.

“Happy birthday,  Soonyoung. I love you.”

“Thank you Y/Nie. I love you too..”

Y/N’s POV

“YoooOOOoo KIM Y/N OPEN THE DOooOOR!!”

My hand not faltering as I scripted my essay, I let out a chuckle. The banging at the door continued. I didn’t let it bother me; He had keys and I had an essay to finish. Yeonjun and I have been college dormmates for a bit more than a year now and I’ve gotten plenty used to his usual Saturday night trips to the bar. I put my pen to my lips thoughtfully, mentally debating whether to open the door for him or not. He could be pretty drunk listening to the way he was yelling at the door.

I was about to get up to let him in when he let himself in and stumbled over to the couch. I couldn’t help but laugh at his disheveled look. His eyes were slightly bloodshot, blush colouring his cheeks. His ripped jeans and denim jacket had dark stains all over them. I guessed it was alcohol - I hoped it was alcohol. Unfortunately, he absolutely reeked of the bar. My scented candles wouldn’t do much to cover the smell.

I made a move to close the door but Yeonjun grabbed my wrist. I tried to twist out of his grip but he held me firm. His eyes were barely open.

He’s so drunk.

“Don’t leave me, Y/N.”

My eyes widened. He never talked to me like this. Biting my lips, I made for the door again.

“I just need to close the door, Yeonjun. I’m not leaving.”

Yeonjun groaned, but let go of me reluctantly. I could feel his eyes on me as I squeaked the door close.

If he drinks a little water now, it should help with his hangover tomorrow.

I walked to the kitchen to get him a glass. He let out a loud whine. I rolled my eyes. He reminded me of a sad puppy. The way he could feel me moving around reminded me more of the foxes I’ve been reading about. I laughed at him and shoved him into a proper sitting position.

“Drink.”

He narrowed his eyes at me, sticking his lips out.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Your hangover is going to be terrible tomorrow. Please drink this so I won’t have to hide the painkillers from you again.”

Yeonjun leaned in closer. I could feel his hot breath against my cheeks. Nudging him away, I asked him again to drink the water.

“I deal with my hangovers just fine.”

He turned away like a little kid asked to eat vegetables. I sighed. It was already midnight.

“Yeonjun, please~ Just drink it for me?”

Before I realized what I said, he whipped his head around again. He took the glass - with my fingers still around it - and chugged it down like I’d seen him chug a bottle of somaek. Exhaling loudly, he licked his lips. Our fingers were still entangled around the glass.

I didn’t know what was happening. My heart was..racing? And my face felt like it was burning up. I’d never felt feelings like this when I was with Yeonjun. I was used to his bizarre drunk behavior but tonight was...different.

“YAH!”

Yeonjun’s sudden yell made me jump in surprise.

“Y-Yes?”

“I LIKE YOU KIM Y/N!!”

“WHAT?!”

I put the glass down on the table and grabbed yeonjun’s jacket collar.

“CHOI YEONJUN I CAN’T DATE GUYS YET! MY PARENTS WOULD KILL ME! I NEED TO GET TO UNIVERSITY THEN I CAN DATE! EVEN THEN, I HIGHLY DOUBT MY PARENTS WILL LIKE SOME GUY WHO CONFESSED WHEN HE’S DRUNK! ARE YOU ACTUALLY EVEN CONFESSING?! YOU’RE SERIOUSLY DRUNK RIGHT NOW!”

Yeonjun hiccuped and giggled. For some reason, I found that adorable and laughed too. Letting go of his collar, we stared at each other from the opposite sides of the sofa. Recounting the last few minutes, I thought I might have phrased my words wrongly. Opening my mouth to speak, Yeonjun cut me off by nuzzling his face into the middle of my sweater. His arms snaked around my waist and I was trapped.

My heart skipped a beat. My hands found themselves brushing through his hair. This felt nice. It felt right. I liked it. Like, I really liked it.

“Studies say the things people say when they’re drunk is their hidden truth. Even if you don’t believe me, you can’t blame me for trying. Let me have tonight please, Y/N?”

“Yeonjun..I like you too.”

I thought I saw a childish grin slide across his face.

“Huh...I must be really drunk ‘cause I think I heard you say you like me too.”

I chuckled. Brushing his hair gently, I placed a small peck on his lips.

“Sleep, Yeonjunie. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow.”

Y/N’s POV

I skipped up to my room and let my bag fall from my shoulders, grinning at the soft thump. I jumped onto my bed and rolled over to the other side. My window drapes were flying around next to the bed, the wind cold and crisp tonight. I reached down the small crack of space between my bed and the window and fingered around looking for my precious. My calloused fingers finally brushed against its spine and latched on. I pulled out and brought out a bruised notebook.

I grinned and ran my fingers gently up and down the spine. I nestled myself against the window and held up the book. Finally turning the cover, I squealed at the first few pages. Pictures of my 10th grade love; him at lunch, him competing in martial arts competitions, him studying after school.

He was so cute. Still is, but hehe.

The next set of pages were of my 11th grade love; him moving into the house next door, him at breakfast, him in the backyard. The rest were more recent pictures of 12th grade; I finally got the guts to ask to be his friend and the angel said yes. More pictures of both of us followed.

“Kang Taehyunnie~”

I gazed upon the most recent photo. He had dyed his hair a silver colour, and it was my new favorite colour on him. Of course red was a killer and will always be missed. My fingers found my favorite red marker on the bed stand and I chewed on the edge thoughtfully.

Lovesick. That was what my parents called me. A psychopath was what my “friends” called me. Which is why I didn’t have any anymore.

I dotted the picture with red hearts, only enough to show my love. Which was enough to cover the page. I still didn’t think that was enough. Sighing deeply, I threw the marker aside and brushed a finger against Taehyun’s gorgeous face.

His skin is just flawless. Just like him.

“Taehyun, when girls confess to guys, they say ‘I like you’. But I don’t just like you, I love you. I’m in love with you and it’s making me crazy. I can see that the things I’m doing are not right, but I do it all for you. My heart is yours, and yours alone. Please say you love me.”

<>

Author’s POV

“You’re home late.”

Taehyun rolled his eyes at his brother and started taking out his homework.

“Hello to you too Kai.”

Just as he was going to start doing his homework, Taehyun noticed someone in the window across from him. His window lay big and open before his desk, letting in the cool night breeze. He recognised Y/N, his neighbour & friend. He smiled at her tiny form cuddled against the window. Her window was open too, so he could hear some muffled words that she said.

Kai noticed that his brother had gone silent and peeked over the top of his book. He followed his brother’s gaze and scoffed at Y/N. Taehyun heard him and whipped around.

“What was that for?”

Kai sighed. “You know she has a crush on you. Maya and the other girls even told you, told us both. She’s crazy.”

He made circular gestures around his head, emphasising the word ‘crazy’.

“You are seriously so insensitive. You don’t know that for sure.”

“You don’t know it’s not true either.”

Taehyun shot him a glare. “Shut up Kai.”

Kai, being used to his brother’s protective behaviour for Y/N, merely shrugged and picked up his book again.

Slowly starting to do his homework, Taehyun couldn’t help trying to listen to what Y/N was saying. The wind was blocking it out, but he thought he heard his name being uttered. Nevertheless, he finished his homework in no time and started scrolling through his phone.

“Taehyun! Look!”

Taehyun dropped his phone with a jolt, grunting irritably at Kai who suddenly appeared next to him.

“Look at what?”

“The book Y/N’s holding! It has pictures of you!”

Taehyun’s eyes observed the fraying brown book, and realized the pictures in it were in fact pictures of him. The wind had stopped, and Taehyun could finally make out what Y/N was saying. She was giggling to herself, flipping the pages in her book happily.

Finally, he recognized a recent picture, from the first day he went to school with his silver hair. Y/N brushed her finger against his face fondly, before coloring the page with red hearts. Despite Kai’s disgusted look, Taehyun smiled. Part of him knew what Y/N was doing was borderline psychotic but he liked it. He liked seeing her so interested in him.

“Taehyun, when girls confess to guys, they say ‘I like you’.”

Taehyun perked up at the sound of Y/N’s voice.

“But I don’t just like you, I love you. I’m in love with you and it’s making me crazy. I can see that the things I’m doing are not right, but I do it all for you. My heart is yours, and yours alone. Please say you love me.”

Taehyun’s heart swelled. Y/N loved him? He couldn’t help the grin from sliding across his face like a serpent. Kai glanced at his brother and made a face.

“What the hell is that face for?”

Taehyun inclined his head towards Y/N’s window.

“She loves me.”

Kai’s eye twitched then he screamed.

<>

Y/N’s POV

I heard a familiar scream from behind me and whirled around. My eyes met the figures of Taehyun & Kai in their bedroom just across from mine. Their window was open and the wind had died down. My first thought went to my confession: Had they heard it?

I jumped when Kai screamed for Taehyun to close the curtains. My smile widened when I heard Taehyun’s trademark chuckle. He got up and we locked eyes.

For a moment, time went still. We gazed into each other’s eyes, almost drowning in each other. I thought to ask him if he had heard, but I was frozen. Eventually he broke contact with a wink and disappeared behind the curtains.

What was that wink?

I quickly closed my window and drapes before letting out a squeal. I buried my grin in my pillow and rolled around in delight. Annoyingly, my phone dinged a message. I grabbed it with a groan, which turned into another high-pitched squeal when I saw who texted me.

Author’s POV

The waves crashed against the rocks of the jetty. The air reeked of salt and fish. Seagulls cried out overhead. The girl’s eyes traced over the massive body of water before her. Her mouth released sigh after sigh. Her brush stroked against the canvas. The different shades of blue on her palette blended together to form a visual on the paper body that sat upon her wooden easel.

It was a good piece. Park Y/N scanned her finished painting from top to bottom. The colours were well-chosen, blended perfectly. The shapes were nicely arranged as well, the birds and small figures along the coastline drawn in soft detail. Y/N leaned back and exhaled deeply.

“You’ve sighed so much I think it would be pointless for me to point out that painting the sea is boring.”

She scoffed and turned to see her best friend, Choi Beomgyu, finishing a smoothie as he leaned against the pier railing. They had been there for about two hours; Y/N had wanted to paint, and Beomgyu was bored. She started to put away her used utensils in a plastic bag for her to clean later and placed her sea painting aside. Beomgyu slurped the last bit of his smoothie loudly and binned it.

Before she knew it, Y/N found Beomgyu striking a pose before her. His eyes were looking into the distance and his hands were shoved into his denim jacket. The wind ruffled his hair like it was playing around with him. Y/N snorted, earning her a glare from Beomgyu.

“What are you doing?”

“The sea is just blue & grey! But I’m a mix of colours. Not to mention actually handsome.”

He went back to his pose. Y/N laughed at her friend.

“Hey!”

She made a face and decided to paint her friend despite her obvious reluctance to paint people.

‘Why not?’ She thought to herself.

And that was the first time she painted Beomgyu.

<>

The time was just right. Y/N watched as the sky transformed from red to orange to pink. Her paints sat on the ledge beside her, along with her bowl of water and brushes. Her easel was armed with a new canvas. Picking up a new brush Beomgyu had bought for her, Y/N started to paint. First, streaks of red that ran across the sky. Next, splashes of orange. Y/N felt a bit sparky that day so she took another brush to flick flecks of gold onto her sky.

“Hey cutie.”

She smiled. “Gyu, you’re home!”

He walked over to the girl who sat on her little stool with her arms open for a hug. Pressing a kiss into her hair, he landed another peck onto her lips. She giggled contentedly. Watching Beomgyu hang his coat and his bag, an idea struck Y/N.

“Gyu, let me paint you!”

The smile on his face was almost as bright as the sun. Without hesitation, he leaned out the window and the light illuminated his features perfectly. Y/N couldn’t help but stare. After a few minutes, Beomgyu turned his head to check on her. He giggled cutely at the sight of her admiring him.

“Hey! Don’t stare!”

“Aww, is someone getting shy?”

The couple laughed and Y/N ended up finishing her painting with the help of her photographic memory, with her boyfriend clinging to her like a koala.

<>

The snow fell slowly. Snowflakes danced in the air like graceful dancers. White coloured the streets outside. Y/N sat next to the heater on the floor, cuddly and warm wrapped in a blanket. Her art materials lay in armsreach, anticipating the moment she’d pick them up. Eventually, she got bored of staring out the window while waiting for Beomgyu. She eyed the snowman Beomgyu had built with her the night before. She used the new water brush Beomgyu had gifted her and circled the body of the snowman. She added the nose and other details with pens.

Her heart felt empty. She wanted Beomgyu to come home. She wanted to paint him again. Every time she painted Beomgyu, she got to observe his features. His eyes, his smile, his cheeks, his nose, the little creases in his face; they were all so beautiful. She loved painting Beomgyu. She went upstairs to put away her snowman painting. When she came back downstairs, she spotted her yearned-for.

“Gyu!!”

She leapt into his arms and he let out a soft groan from the impact. Suspicion tickled her but Y/N ignored it. Remembering her painting materials on the ground nearby, she looked to Beomgyu with a glowing smile. He looked back with a thin smile and a laugh.

“I want to paint you.”

Beomgyu chuckles softly and shakes his head. Y/N thought he said no, but he sat down and posed. She grinned and began painting. Tracing his face, the feeling from before came back to her. She tried to paint him with a cherubic smile as always, but she couldn’t. This time, his features portrayed dismay and misery. She stopped after she was done with his face. Placing her painting aside, she sat next to where Beomgyu was planted on the couch.

“Did you not finish it? You normally take at least an hour to paint..anything, not just me.” he laughed, but Y/N noticed the strain in the motion.

“Gyu.. something’s wrong. Tell me.”

Beomgyu realized he couldn’t hide it from her. She’d observed him too much. She knew everything about him - physical and emotional. He sighed and told her everything. The look on Y/N’s face was one he wished he never had to see. She pulled him into a hug and held him tight.

“Why must it be the most beautiful part of you that gets destroyed first?”

<>

The gallery still had its brand-new smell. Y/N smiled proudly. Finally, after years of practicing and working hard, she finally managed to open a gallery to display hers as well as other aspiring artists’ works. Y/N thought back to the hours she spent painting the walls, lining them with the big heavy frames.

She wished he had been there with her. He’d always supported her art, up until the last minute. Until the last fleeting seconds of his life, Beomgyu had always been by her side.

“Good morning Mrs Choi. I’m ready to see your gallery.”

Y/N bowed to the art collector who had come to her gallery that day and proceeded to show him the works. She gave him detailed citations of each of her artworks. She smiled and kept up her joyous facade until he asked her a difficult question.

“Mrs Choi, what is your favorite thing to paint?”

A difficult question indeed. With heavy steps, Y/N led him to her private gallery. Guests had to pay quite a bit to visit there. All the money given to her private gallery visits were donated to heart cancer foundations. Her steps slowed as soon as they entered. Her breathing felt shallower, but she had to keep herself together in front of the collector.

They walked along the walls that were lined with Y/N’s favorite paintings. They were all paintings of him. Choi Beomgyu. Y/N’s husband. Y/N’s deceased husband who had passed from heart cancer. He was her best friend. He was her lover.

And he was her favorite thing to paint. No matter rain or shine, clean or dirty, bright or dark, Beomgyu had always been her favorite thing to paint.

Y/N’s footsteps stopped at the very first painting. It was Beomgyu in front of the sea. The collector recognised the same sea from the painting from the public gallery. He looked to ask about the painting but noticed the gleaming tears brimming in Y/N’s eyes under the exhibition light. He decided not to ask. He thanked her for her time and walked himself out.

Y/N was alone in the gallery. But she was never truly alone. Beomgyu watched her from above - literally and metaphorically. With the collector gone, she finally let the tears fall.

“You were my favorite thing to paint, Gyu.”

Author’s POV

It was just another day for Y/N. Another day of her complete solitude when he approached her.

Planted in her usual spot in the shade of the school campus’s large oak tree, Y/N crunched on her big red apple and flipped a page of her new book.

She enjoyed solitude. She hadn’t had or needed friends in a while. She was used to other people walking around her and ignoring her presence - she enjoyed it, truthfully. No one to disturb her.

That’s why she didn’t even bother to look up when footsteps started to near her feet.

“Can I join you?”

She finally jerked her head up, an annoyed look plastered on her face. Jimin smiled nervously, obviously not that proud of making himself go over to her with her eagle eyes glaring daggers at him.

“Why?”

Jimin cleared his throat sheepishly. “I want to be your friend.”

This shocked Y/N because it had been some time since anyone wanted to be her friend. And in the past, she was the one to beg for friendship. She looked at Jimin from his messy hair to his dirty shoes. She shrugged her shoulders, deciding to give him a chance.

“Okay, but promise me this: do not fall in love with me.”

Jimin chuckled as he sat down next to Y/N. “Weird promise, but sure. You have my word.”

<>

Since that fateful day, Y/N never enjoyed solitude ever again.

Jimin and Y/N’s friendship blossomed over the years in school together. Slowly progressing from study sessions to carnival rides, they went on many adventures together.

Y/N found Jimin to be a nice change from the pin-drop silence that usually surrounded her. Instead, he was a cloud of laughter and giggles that never failed to make her smile.

They developed their own routines; After school, homework at the internet cafe near the school, then another adventure either in Jimin’s TV screen or at someplace new. Y/N never thought she would like having someone walk her home.

On the other hand, Jimin was enjoying himself a little too much. He had absolutely fallen head over heels for Y/N’s sarcastic jokes, her flirtatious laughter, and her cherubic smile that he hadn’t noticed until it was too late.

He couldn’t bring himself to tell Y/N. The promise he’d sworn to her on the day they first met under the oak tree remained ingrained in his mind like a carving in stone. His feelings for her made him so afraid to let her go.

<>

“So, the tea in chemistry class today: I caught Jeongguk staring at me for almost the whole class. He actually spilled too much ammonia into his pot of bleach because of that. And that was a total mess, by the way. Chemistry is tiring not just because of the elements, take my word for it.”

Jimin chuckled.

“Glad I didn't take chemistry then.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and laughed. There it was, her trademark sarcastic laugh. Jimin’s smile grew bigger.

From the corner of his eye, Jimin spotted his brother Seokjin making his way towards them. His smile immediately dropped. Seokjin was known for making trouble whenever he could and if he was coming to them, it wasn’t going to be good for Jimin and Y/N.

“Hey! Jimin! Y/N! What goes on?”

Seokjin sat himself down with them with a suspiciously proud grin.

“Life, I guess.”

Y/N made nothing of Seokjin’s sudden appearance, having now become used to interacting with other people again. Jimin tried to peacefully indicate with his eyes for his brother to leave, but Seokjin paid him no heed.

“Do you guys remember that time Y/N fell asleep in chemistry class? You were out the whole period, but you passed the pop quiz the next day! How’d that happen, Y/N?”

Still unbothered, Y/N answered, “I had notes under my arm when I woke up. It was probably Jeongguk since he watches me so much he probably saw that I fell asleep and took extra notes for me. Since he ‘loves’ me so much.”

“Hold up, I’m in that class and I know for a fact that Jeongguk has never taken notes his entire life. Even if he made them for you, they couldn’t have been THAT comprehensive until you got all the answers right!”

Y/N started to notice Seokjin’s excessive expression and exchanged suspicious looks with Jimin. They both narrowed their eyes at Seokjin, who sneered back.

“Where are you going with this, Seokjin?”

His elder brother cackled wickedly.

“Jimin, I know what you did. You were the first person Y/N saw when she woke up. YOU gave Y/N those notes!”

Y/N’s suspicious gaze suddenly fell on Jimin, who had his fists clenched in anger. She knew she needed to ask him first but anger was already building up inside her.

“Jimin doesn’t take chemistry,” Y/N thought aloud.

Seokjin answered with a conniving smirk. “But he’s a student counsellor. He has access to the staffroom..where he could have taken the chemistry professor’s teaching notes for you.”

Y/N didn’t want to assume the worst but she couldn’t think of any other excuse. Locking eyes with the first friend she’d had in a long time, she asked him the million-dollar question.

“Is it true?”

Y/N wasn’t asking about the notes, or whatever Seokjin said. She was asking about the unsaid words that were hanging over them like a stormcloud. What she meant to ask was…

Did you really fall for me?

Jimin hung his head. Seokjin seemed satisfied with the damage he had caused and made his leave. Y/N scoffed at Jimin and started packing her things. He had given her his word. He’d sworn to her. He’d promised her. Yet he’d fallen for her. He did the one thing he said he wouldn’t. And for a while, she thought he wouldn’t too. For a while, she thought she’d finally found an actual friend.

“Y/N wait-”

“NO, Jimin. You promised me! I made you promise me in the first place because I used to have friend problems! And they were exactly like this!”

Tears brimming in her eyes, Y/N sniffled as she continued.

“My girl friends would backstab so much that I found myself more comfortable with the guys. But the guys kept having feelings for me. Then I stopped having friends completely. I needed company. But the companionable company, not the romantic company. Do you get it now?!”

When she finally turned to look at him, Jimin was crying too. His crescent moon eyes were shining with tears and his plump lips were quivering. The sight of him made Y/N’s heart hurt even more. Because she knew she’d never been so happy to call someone her friend.

“Don’t ever talk to me again.”

She started to walk away, but stopped when she heard what Jimin said next.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I really wished I could have been your friend for a while longer.”

That was the final blow. Y/N walked away before she broke down completely in front of the person she used to call her friend.

Y/N's POV

I snuggled close to Jeongguk's chest. His hand rubbed circles into my back. His scent comforted my mind, not that his presence alone didn't already put my heart at ease.

The whole of this week, my husband had been spending late nights at work. I had to spend every night from Monday to Friday eating dinner by myself. Therefore naturally, I was so glad when he came home that night as I was cooking a pot of ramen.

After a happy dinner, we were cuddling in our bed. Just him and me. Just Jeongguk and I. Just like it was supposed to be.

Suddenly, I felt myself being lifted from Jeongguk's chest and moved onto the mattress. My hands reached for Jeongguk but touched the air. I groaned and mumbled for him to come back.

"I'm sorry Y/N."

Sorry?

My instincts told me to keep my eyes closed and I pretended to be sleeping. I heard the shuffling of feet then the room went quiet. I peeked one eye open. Jeongguk was gone. I got up and wrapped myself in a robe. I heard the front door close and quickly put on a mask.

I just made it outside when Jeongguk's car pulled out of the driveway. I was left with my own confused thoughts.

Jeongguk had said he was sorry. But what for? He just left me again so he couldn't have apologised for being absent the past week. My heart raced. My thoughts began to drop to the worst.

Was he cheating on me?

I trusted Jeongguk with my entire being but I couldn't ignore the thought. I looked at my house. At the mansion coloured with white and gold.

What do I not have that he would need someone else?

I jump started my car and chased after Jeongguk. Of course, my emotions hadn't completely taken over yet. My logical side kept my car a distance behind Jeongguk's car. He pulled over to a graveyard.

I guess nobody would find him here if he was having an affair.

I parked along the stretch of road outside the graveyard and followed Jeongguk's dark figure. The night was cold and dark. Shadows seemed to move along the trees that lined the dead's resting places. A chill breeze blew. I pulled my robe closer around me and focused on following Jeongguk.

Jeongguk walked slowly, as if he was tired. Maybe dreading it even. His head was lowered and he looked like he was reading the names on the gravestones. He stopped at two at the very edge of the graveyard.

They rested below a huge willow tree. Its vines swayed in the cold wind. Jeongguk pulled out two white roses and placed one on each of the graves. I didn't bother hiding myself at this point. I just stood behind him, my shadow reaching his feet.

He definitely wasn't cheating.

"Good evening Mom, good evening Dad. I'm sorry I'm late."

Mom? Dad?

Jeongguk slipped his hands into his pockets and continued to speak.

“I wanted to spend some time with Y/N since I’ve been busy at the office these days - just like I am at this time of every year.

I arranged the donation drive you always did. Those orphans will have new clothes, toys and books by the end of this month. You always loved helping the needy. I’ll make sure to continue the tradition and follow in your footsteps.”

So that was why he’s been working late..

“I really miss you. I wish you could have met Y/N. I love her so much. She has the kindest heart, the purest soul, and absolutely without a doubt, the most beautiful eyes. I love her with my entire body and soul.”

“Jeongguk..”

He whirled around, but relaxed when he saw me. I stepped closer until I was in front of his parents’ graves. He looked between me and his parents’ graves before realizing I probably had heard everything. He slung an arm over my shoulder and planted a kiss onto the top of my head.

“Hello Mr and Mrs Jeon. I’m Y/N. I’m sorry we didn’t have the chance to meet face to face but I hope you’re happy where you are now. I’m also sorry for eavesdropping, but from what Jeongguk said, you sound like lovely people.”

Looking straight into Jeongguk’s eyes, I made sure he heard the sincerity in my next words.

“I want to promise you something: From today onwards, I promise to help Jeongguk with your donation drive and start any other initiatives to help the needy. I also love helping people, especially kids. I think we would have gotten along very well. That’s all from me. I’ll leave you and Jeongguk alone now.”

I leaned in and pecked my husband’s cheek.

“I’ll see you at home.”

I began to walk away, but he pulled me back. Wrapping both his arms around me, he held me tightly in his warm embrace.

“Stay.”

Y/N’s POV

I sighed, a long tired sound. Pushing the staffroom door open, I almost walked into the peeling wall of my cubicle. I sighed again and collapsed onto my fraying chair. My mind was plagued with a terrible migraine. The students were horrible today. They think just because I’m a substitute teacher, they can push me around. Substitute or permanent teacher, they should respect their elders. I pressed on the bridge of my nose. Where had all their values gone?

Today was a terrible day for the kids to misbehave. It was my special day. Why did they have to ruin it?

My painful silence was disrupted by a knock on my cubicle wall. I looked up to see Namjoon, or Mr Kim, peeking over at me. He flashed me a sympathetic smile, as if he understood the reason behind my pain. He walked over and stood in front of me.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your ‘deep thinking’, but we’re having an impromptu meeting downstairs in the staff lounge. Be there in 5.”

“Sure, Mr Kim.”

“Hey, come on. I told you, just Namjoon.”

I mustered a smile and nodded slowly. Namjoon left with a smile soon after. I grabbed a few painkillers from my bag and chugged them down quickly before making my way to the second level staff lounge.

<>

When I arrived, the lights were off. Checking the level, I was sure I was at the right place. Why was no one inside?

I still squeaked the door open and stepped into the lounge. My eyes could barely make out the edges of the furniture. 

“H-Hello?”

At the sound of my voice, ten tiny candles flickered to life. The fire from the candles illuminated a cake, with pink frosting and strawberries crowning its circular top. My eyes moved from the cake to the friendly face holding it. His face was full of smiles, his adorable dimples showing. Truth be told, his dimples were the first thing that caught my eye when I met him. 

“Happy birthday, Ms Y/N~”

He sang for me and all I could do was stand there, holding in my tears. It was the sweetest gesture anyone had ever done for me. I never had many friends because I was a total nerd in school and thus the teacher’s pet. My parents never made time for me and I didn’t have any siblings. I was so touched. 

“Y/N?”

My head jerked up at his call.

“Blow out your candles, Y/N. Oh, and don’t forget to make a wish!”

I smiled and took a deep breath. Sending my wish to the one above, I blew out the ten candles. Namjoon cheered and set the cake down on a table nearby. I flicked the lights on and quickly wiped at my tears. Namjoon gave me a playful nudge, gesturing that he had already noticed them. I chuckled lightly and wiped them away anyway. 

“Thank you Namjoon. This really fixed my entire day. Nobody has ever done something like this for me. Thank you so much.”

I stepped onto my toes and pressed a soft peck onto his cheek. I aimed right for his dimple. His skin exploded into red at my touch and I giggled. So cute.

“What made you do this for me anyway? I’m just a substitute teacher. I’ll leave after this term.”

Namjoon scratched behind his ears bashfully. 

“Well, I know those kids you’ve been teaching have been a handful so I thought this would cheer you up. Nobody should have to suffer so much. I know from experience; A small good thing can go a long way. So.. happy birthday Y/N.”

“Thank you, Namjoon. You’re right, I feel lots better! Let’s have some cake!”

He took the knife and we cut ourselves some cake. As we settled down to eat, Namjoon asked me a question. I didn’t have to think twice about the answer.

“Do you think we can still see each other after the term ends?”