let me help u rp

❝ Oops... ❞

❝ Watch where you’re going! ❞

❝ I didn’t mean to do that! ❞

❝ Are you okay? ❞

❝ Well, that’s definitely broken now. ❞

❝ What’s the worst that could happen? ❞

❝ Hold my beer and watch this! ❞

❝ Watch out! ❞

❝ Did you see what happened? ❞

❝ Last thing I remember, there was a big crash. ❞

❝ It’s going to take time to heal. ❞

❝ Did you mean to do that? ❞

❝ Be careful! ❞

❝ Are you sure this is safe? ❞

❝ Hi, ____. I’m ____. How are you today? ❞

❝ I’m great, thanks for asking. ❞

❝ One question: where am I? Who are you? And what’s going on? ❞

❝ You know the way you feel when you see a picture of two otters holding hands? That's how you're gonna feel every day. ❞

❝ Someone forked up. ❞

❝ Hi there. How can I help you? ❞

❝ I might not have been a saint, but it's not like I killed anybody. ❞

❝ I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. ❞

❝ Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. ❞

❝ I don't know what to do here. This is a mess, morally speaking. This is a putrid, disgusting bowl of ethical soup. ❞

❝ That was my first time as a fashion "don't," and I did not care for it. ❞

❝ You are too selfish to ever be a good person. ❞

❝ That is a brand of toothpaste. ❞

❝ Well, I think you’re wrong. ❞

❝ It’s like, who died and left Aristotle in charge of ethics? ❞

❝ Thanks, ____, you big flirt. ❞

❝ So? What does ____ know? ❞

❝ Pretty unique decorating style you have here, ____. It's like, "12-year-old boy" meets "13-year-old boy." ❞

❝ Don't mind me. I'm just dropping off my afternoon gloves, and picking up my early evening gloves. ❞

❝ I knew tonight was going to be perfect, but now it's going to be even perfect-er. ❞

❝ Obviously, it's impossible for something to be more perfect than perfect. ❞

❝ Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. ❞

❝ I like this one. It's simple. ❞

❝ It's nothing, it's a tiny little inconvenience. ____, dear, could you show us to a private room where no one can see or hear us, even if I yell very loudly out of fear? ❞

❝ When I told a boyfriend something was "no big deal," it meant anything from "I just bought weed from your nephew," to "I secretly befriended your ex-girlfriend last year, things got out of hand, and now I'm her bridesmaid." ❞

❝ That's your idea of paradise? ❞

❝ Well, that's called tyranny. And it's generally frowned upon. ❞

❝ I am decidedly so. ❞

❝ That’s very profound.  ❞

❝ I feel like Friends in season eight, out of ideas and forcing Joey and Rachel together, even though it made no sense. ❞

❝ Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities? ❞

❝ You cannot kill ____. Killing is one of the most famous moral no-nos. ❞

❝ Uh, no, that’s not what that means at all. ❞

❝ Is it actually a cactus? ❞

❝ Well, I suppose some part of me possibly has a sense of casual kinship with you, much as one might be fond of a street cat. ❞

❝ I'll tell you, but it doesn't make me look great, so don't judge me. ❞

❝ Ugh, I hate jazz. Every jazz song is like 40 minutes long. It's like, we get it. You can blow on a trumpet. Wrap it up, Elton John. ❞

❝ People keep asking me questions that I don't know the answers to. ❞

❝ You know, it doesn't matter if you know things. All that matters is what's in your heart. ❞

❝ Oh, boy, now I'm nervous about that decision. ❞

❝ You just lost five points. ❞

❝ ____, everyone hates you. ❞

❝ Now that we know, we can actually do something about it. ❞

❝ This will be the fourth most important party I’ve ever thrown. ❞

❝ I wasn't a failed ____. I was pre-successful. ❞

❝ We love each other. ____ makes the bass drop in my heart. ❞

❝ Can this train go any faster, ____? ❞

❝ What things did he say were sexy? ❞

❝ Welcome to eternal mediocrity. ❞