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Harry sat on his plush couch, telly on volume 11 as interviews from The Emmys went live.
"Here we have Y/N Y/L/N! Looking as gorgeous as ever! How are you?" the man asked as he kissed both of your cheeks.
Harry had to agree with the man. You were a stunning picture in a skintight iridescent gown that somehow left little and just enough to the imagination at the same time. The dainty silver accents adorning your ears and wrists, chest bare with a slight shimmer of something that wasn't sweat or glitter, but just pure radiance in Harry's eyes.
You adjusted your stance before answering, "Good, good. And yourself?"
"Fantastic! I hear you're nominated for three awards tonight! Congratulations! How do you feel about all of that?" Harry wasn't surprised by your achievements seeing as he kept his tabs on you ever since the breakup.
You nodded with a timid smile, "I am, yes. It's all a little nerve wracking if I'm being honest with you."
The man grinned before it looked like his attention had been stolen by someone else, "Oh look, there we have your knight in shining armour!"
The camera panned to Tom Holland walking in your direction. Harry forced himself to watch as Tom came to stand beside you and kissed your cheek with an arm around your waist. Even with the microphone being unable to pick up your voices, your small interaction could be read off your lips.
"Hello, darling." Tom's lips moved as he winked.
"Hi, baby." your smile was warm as you spoke.
Harry abruptly turned off his telly at that moment. Memories of that name being used to address him flooded his brain. He threw his head back against the cushions and let the sting wash over him. It'd been a little less than a year since you guys called it quits, but the wounds still bled.
'We're not talking lately.'
"Do you remember that promise we made?" you asked as Harry rested his forehead against your knees while your fingers ran through his hair.
You felt him nod as a tear rolled down your cheek for the hundredth time. "We'd always stay friends and support each other even if we don't last." he replied from below you on his knees while you were sat on the couch.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, "Can I adjust that promise?"
His movements seize the second the question left your lips. He lifted his head and met your glossy gaze with an equally bloodshot one.
"What do you mean?" his voice quivered in a way that made your heart shatter.
You slid your thumb along his cheekbone, "We need time apart to move on, ange. No communication while we deal with this. We can still support each other and love each other, but we need space in order to let each other go. Wouldn't you agree?"
Harry pondered on it for a moment before slightly nodding, "I guess so."
Neither of you said a word after that, just continuing to hold each other until the morning light came in and reminded you that everything still moves on even if you haven't.
'Don't you call him what you used to call me.'
July 23rd 2017:
"Baby, can you grab my purse for me, please?" you semi-shouted from the bottom of the stairs in your home.
Not a minute later, Harry came waltzing down towards you, "I wasn't sure which one you wanted today, so I took it upon myself to choose this one." he held up the Prada shoulder purse with a proud smile.
October 17th 2017:
"No." you deadpanned, but at his immediate frown you continued "Baby, I'm not dressing up as a socket so you can be the plug." you laughed incredulously at his suggestion.
Harry threw his hands in the air, "Come on! That would be the best costume ever!"
December 25th 2017:
"Happy Christmas, baby." you smiled at the man on your phone screen.
His lips turned down into a frown that somehow still looked like a smile, "Happy Christmas, darling. Wish we were together today."
January 1st 2018:
"Happy new year!" Harry screamed along with the room before turning to his love, "No one else I'd rather enter the year with." he smiled softly at you before meeting your lips with a kiss.
Confetti fell around you, champagne broke through the cheers with a 'pop' and yet, to you, it was silent, and there was no one there but him.
You broke apart still grinning, "Happy new year, baby."
'I, I confess I can tell that you are at your best. I'm selfish so I'm hating it.'
"And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to...!" Kevin Hart unfolded the envelope and immediately broke into a wide grin, "Y/N Y/L/N!"
The applause was immediate and deafening. You barely registered the first syllable of your name being called as everyone around you began to congratulate you and shower you with hugs.
You slowly made your way to the stage, being careful to not trip. You greeted Kevin with a hug as he handed you the award and your hands shook. As you stood in front of the mic, your mouth opened and closed like a fish.
"I-I- what?" you finally managed to sputter out as everyone chuckled.
You managed to get your wits about you and began to give out your thanks, while failing to notice the man in the audience who was holding back tears for you.
Jeff leaned over to Harry, "I know this is tough, but there will be cameras on you. Be careful of your expressions." he whispered as Harry momentarily shut his eyes and inhaled deeply.
Harry managed to plaster on a faux smile that would fool anyone else except you. He was ashamed of himself; he should be happy for you, he should've been on his feet cheering for you. But he couldn't. He refused to do that from 12 rows away when he should've been sat beside you. The smile on your face, the glow in your skin. All of it was something he hadn't seen since you were together and seeing it now only brought pain and sorrow to him.
He wished he had stayed home, but Jeff had convinced him that moping around in his home was only fuelling the rumours surrounding your break up, so he watched as you took your seat again and only when the next category was being announced did he excuse himself to the washroom and let the tears flow.
'I noticed that there's a piece of you in how I dress. Take it as a compliment.'
"Darling!" Harry's voice came booming from your temporarily shared home.
You sat on the couch in the living room and threw your head back, "Yes?!"
"Where's your striped jumper?!" he replied from your walk in closet.
You chose not to reply and instead left your seat to see what chaos he had caused. Upon entering your closet, there were piles of clothes on the floor and shoes tossed in every direction.
You chuckled, "What is going on?"
Harry's head snapped towards you, "I have an interview in 30 minutes and I need that jumper. Please, darling, help." he pouted at you.
You laughed a little more before walking out of the closet and pulling the sweater from a chair next to your bed. You cleared your throat while dangling the sweater from your finger and smirked, "Really should wear your glasses more often."
He covered his face with his hands as he realized he made a mess for no reason. As he took the jumper from your hands with a kiss to your lips and a thank you, you spoke again with a smile, "And get your own clothes."
"Why do that when I have you?" he grinned, "And don't touch any of the mess. I will clean it when I get back." his tone was serious but you struggled to hold in your laugh.
"I'll ju-"
"-No. Pinky promise you won't clean any of it." he held out his pinky with a raised brow.
You rolled your eyes before locking your finger with his. "Fine." the metal of the ruby ring on his finger that used to be yours was cold on your skin
He smiled as he kissed the place where your fingers interlocked and dashed out of the room with one last warning, "You pinky promised! No breaking it!"
"I, I just miss. I just miss your accent and your friends."
"Okay, Your Majesty." Harry mocked your RP accent for the thousandth time as you sat at Beachwood Cafe with Mitch, Sarah, Hazel and Max.
You gasped, "Would you stop that?! I do not sound like the Queen."
He was about to argue before Mitch chimed in, "Sorry, Y/L/N, but you kind of do." he giggled as he spoke.
Your jaw dropped as Harry started to laugh, "This is so unfair. I introduced you guys! You were my friends first! You're supposed to be on my side!"
They all started laughing together at your outburst as you rolled your eyes with a small smile.
"Did you know I still talk to them?"
Hazel was escorted to Harry's dressing room before his show in Vancouver while Max was in charge of finding parking.
Since it was her's and Max's hometown, Harry offered them tickets and backstage entry. It took a lot of debating with himself before he sent the text to Hazel, but his reasoning ultimately came down to not wanting to lose two friendships due to one relationship.
She took a moment to pause before knocking, and sighed a little when Harry looked up through the mirror with red, glassy eyes.
"What's going on, H?" she spoke softly as she entered the room and closed the door behind her.
Harry fully turned his chair around and felt his shoulders deflate, "Just miss her." he rolled his lips in between his teeth as a few tears managed to escape.
Hazel's heart fractured a bit in that moment as her phone started buzzing in her pocket with a call from you, "It's Y/N. Give me a minu-"
"-No. Please. I won't say anything. Can you put it on speaker?" he begged and although Hazel knew it was a bad idea she sighed before answering your call and following his request.
"Hey, Y/N/N!"
"Hi, are you at the show?" your voice ran through the room and Harry subconsciously leaned towards to the phone as if it would bring him closer to you.
Hazel suppressed a sigh from watching Harry before replying, "Yeah! It was really nice of him to invite us. What are you up to?"
"About to catch a flight to LA. Just wanted to make sure you got there safe." you laughed lightly through your lie and Harry's eyes automatically shut, trying to savour the sweet sound.
Hazel could hear your lie in your voice, but chose not to address it, "Yeah, Max is just finding parking right now. Why are you going to LA?"
Harry fought the urge to answer her question, forgetting that he wasn't supposed to know the answer.
You sighed slightly, "House hunting. Can't stay at Harry's anymore, so time to find my own place there."
Hazel nodded, forgetting that you couldn't see her before replying, "Oh. I see. Have you talked to H at all?"
Harry's head snapped up at his name being brought into the conversation.
"No, it's best if I don't." a mans voice was heard in the background before you spoke again, "Well, we're about to take off now. If you see him, wish him luck for me, will you?" your sadness was evident throughout your words.
Harry buried his head in his hands again as more tears escaped while Hazel replied, "Of course. Have a safe flight, Y/N/N. Love you, miss you."
"Thanks, love you and miss you too. Bye!" you blew a kiss into the phone before the dial tone was heard.
And for a moment, with his eyes shut, Harry allowed himself to imagine that those words were meant for his ears only.
"Does he take you walking 'round his parents gallery?"
"Hey, Haz," Tyler spoke up from the silence of the recording studio. They had just finished a long session and the rest of the team had already departed for the night, leaving Harry, Sammy and Tyler. "There's a new gallery opening on Saturday. Only there for a few nights. You wanna come with me and Sammy?"
Harry slowly turned in the spinning chair, "Sure. Whose gallery?" he bit into an apple as he finished speaking.
"Nikki Holland? Don't know who she is, but she's got some sick photos on Instagram." Tyler shrugged not noticing how Harry nearly choked on his fruit.
"Holland? As in Tom Holland's mum? Tom Holland as in Y/N's boyfriend, Tom Holland?" Sammy's eyes widened before he pulled out his own phone and went to Tom's instagram page. And sure enough, there was a post and a story of him promoting his mum's new gallery opening. "Just answered my own question." he rolled his lips between his teeth before chancing a glance at Harry.
Harry stared blankly at the floor before clearing his throat, "Probably not the best idea for me to show up there." he paused at their somber expressions, "Honestly, it's fine." he laughed lightly.
"Nah, we won't go either. Probably start rumours if we-"
"-Wait." Harry abruptly announced before reaching for the acoustic guitar on his left.
Tyler and Sammy shared a concerned expression with one another while Harry nervously fumbled with the strings of the instrument.
"Let me just- I just need to-" he struggled to find the right words to say, but there was no need.
Tyler shook his head and put his phone down, "Let's write it."
'Coucou!'
"Tu dors?" you frowned when your friend answered your call with a groggy voice.
She laughed lightly through the phone, "Oui. J'étais sur le point d'être."
"Oh, j'suis désolée."
She chuckled, "Ne t'en fais pas. Que s'est-il passé? A-t-il fait une demande en mariage?"
You sighed with a smile, thinking back on the day you spent with the lovely man behind you, "Bah non-"
"Je peux entendre le sourire effrayant dans ta voix. Que s'est-il passé?" she cut you off while mocking you.
You laughed loudly, "Nan, c'est pas important."
"Qu'avez-vous fait alors? Êtes-vous allé à la plage?"
You turned to look at Harry as he played a soft melody on a guitar. His eyes looked up to meet yours and he offered you a small grin that you returned, "Ouais, on a été à la plage, et maintenant on—"
She cut you off again with a loud laugh, "Allons prendre un verre et discuter. J'ai besoin de voir le sourire effrayant en personne."
You couldn't even deny her accusation. You were at the happiest you could be.
"That's a wrap for today! Go rest those vocal cords, Y/L/N." Toby, your producer bid you a farewell as you finished in the studio.
You nodded and hugged everyone goodbye before heading to your driver's car. It was at least midnight by the time you got back to your boyfriend's home that he shared with his best mates.
You and Tom had been dating for nearly a year and had done an impressive job of keeping your relationship away from prying eyes. With only a few suspicions here and there, the public saw you two as best friends and nothing more.
In his king sized bed, Tom was on Instagram live chatting with his fans. He needed a way to pass the time as he waited for you to come home from the studio.
"Why am I up so late? Jet lag sucks, guys." Tom lied to his fans.
He hasn't been on a plane in weeks.
"Is anyone in the house awake? Nope. They all sleep at, like, eleven or earlier. Party poopers." he frowned to the camera.
You quietly unlocked the front door, trying your best to not wake anyone in the house. Tiptoeing towards Tom's bedroom, you saw that his light was on, peeking out from under his door. With furrowed eyebrows you opened the door and saw him sitting against the headboard on his phone.
He smiled when he saw you, completely forgetting about his live, "Hi, darling. I missed you," he put his phone down and pecked your lips, "Did you get driven here?" you nodded, "You should've sent me a text," he picked up his phone and glanced at the screen, "I could've—" he froze.
You finished tying your hair up and looked at him with confusion written across your features. You opened your mouth to ask him what was wrong before he slapped a hand over your lips.
He looked at you with wide eyes, "I'm live on Instagram." he whispered.
You had to choke down a laugh because you knew the fans would recognize the sound immediately. You managed to peak at the screen without being in the cameras view and the comments had you struggling to keep your laughter down.
'HE HAS A GF???????'
'i'm gonna kms'
'WHO IS IT'
'no fucking way'
'PLS BE ZENDAYA'
'IM HYPERVENTILATING'
Tom opened and closed his mouth like a fish as he tried to come up with something, anything, to say. "Um, looks like I'll be going now. Thank you for joining and I'll see you all very soon." He had a sheepish grin as he spoke.
You smirked before speaking. "Bye guys." And pressed the button to end the live. Not waiting to see the reactions to your voice or if they would recognize it.
Tom wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you on top of him, "Cheeky one, you are." he placed a kiss on your forehead as you smiled into his chest.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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summary: you wish tom the best with his new relationship in your new song. {listen to happier by olivia rodrigo (if you want)}
wc: 3.6k
'We broke up a month ago,'
"I've been thinking," your heart sunk at his words, "I'm always working." he grabbed both of your hands.
You locked your gaze in his. Sat in the living room of his shared flat. Inches apart yet you could already feel the separation between the two of you growing.
He avoided your eye contact, "I-I can't be in a relationship unless I can give one hundred percent of myself to the other person. A-and I know I haven't been doing that to you, which is c-completely unfair." he wiped away a tear from your cheek that you didn't know had fell, "You've been so, so good to me. I'm sorry I wasn't better, but I can't keep putting you through this." his voice was barely audible.
You finally tore your eyes away from his face. His tear soaked face. Choosing to stare at a spot over his shoulder instead. You took three deep breaths. In and out. Something about his words made you confused, but your pain overpowered it.
"Please say something. Anything." he whispered against your knuckles. Holding your hands to his lips.
You gently removed your hands from his grip, "Thank you for being mature and honest with me." you started with a sniffle, "Thank you for all of our memories and for showing me what love is," you cupped his face, "Thank you for everything, loser." your light laugh lacked any humour, but it still brought a slight smile to his face.
He held your hand that was resting on his jaw, "I love you more than life itself, darling." he kissed your palm and you felt your heart shatter. "Never hesitate to call, dummy."
You nodded with a sad smile. "I love you, too." You stood up and made your way out of the door. A year and a half down the drain within ten minutes.
'Your friends are mine, you know I know you moved on. Found someone new.'
"Do you guys wanna do something on Saturday? I don't have work. Maybe karaoke?" you asked the group without looking up from your phone.
Harrison made a confused noise, "Did you forget? We have Nadia's birthday par—" you heard a loud smack, "—Ow! What? Oh, shit."
You looked up to see Zendaya, Jacob, Harry, Sam and Tuwaine all glaring at Harrison.
"Absolute div." Tuwaine muttered.
You furrowed your eyebrows, "Who's Nadia?" you looked at all of them as they avoided eye contact. "Daya?"
She let out a long sigh before clearing her throat, "Um, Nadia is- Well she's kind of- you know, um—"
"—Tom's new girlfriend." Sam finished for her.
Your mouth formed an 'o' shape as you processed the information. His new girlfriend. It'd been a month and four days since he ended your relationship. And he had a new girlfriend.
It took him a month to move on. A month to be able to give a hundred percent of himself to someone.
You couldn't tell if you were more angry or sad. Maybe a mixture of both. Angry that your friends were hiding information from you, but at the same time you understood their intentions. Sad and upset because the boy who told you he wasn't ready to give a hundred percent of himself was already with someone new.
You slowly nodded, "Oh, okay. Well, I hope you guys have fun." you gave a tight lipped smile before looking back at your phone.
Everyone glanced at each other worriedly before allowing their gazes to fall on you again.
"How do you feel?" Jacob asked cautiously.
You locked your phone and set it on your lap, "I'm fine." you faked a smile, "I think I'm gonna head home, though. It's getting late and I have an early studio session. Bye." you quickly grabbed your purse and left with a small wave.
"Y/N! Wait—" the slamming of the front door cut Tuwaine off.
It was three p.m. and you weren't supposed to be in the studio until noon.
'One more girl who brings out the better in you,'
"Y/N/N. You need to talk about it sooner or later." Zendaya reminded you as she sat at the end of your bed with Harrison beside her.
You removed the covers from your face, revealing your tear stained cheeks, "Does she make him happy?"
There was silence from your two friends before they hesitantly nodded. Both weren't completely sure, but they assumed she did.
"Does she bring out the best version of him? Does she stroke his hair while they cuddle? Does she cook with him? Does she walk Tessa with him?"
Harrison sighed, "Y/N/N, we—"
"—Because that's what I did. I brought out the best side of him. I stroked his hair while we cuddled. I cooked with him. I walked Tessa with him. I did it all. Every single thing." your voice broke towards the end as you let the sobs rack through your body.
Harrison and Zendaya went to either side of you and held you. They just held you. Because even they didn't know what to do.
'And I thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past,'
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Zendaya asked as you walked towards Tom's front door.
You nodded and smoothed down your sundress, "Yeah. We ended on good terms. It's been two months or so. We're friends. Plus, I miss hanging out with all of us." you assured her.
She sighed before knocking on the door, "Alright."
A few moments later the door swung open revealing Tom. Dressed in black jeans and a white button-up. Sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Curls dangling over his forehead. A sweet smile on his lips.
You felt your stomach lurch. Air leaving your lungs involuntarily. Heart rate quickening. You could smell his cologne and every single memory with him clouded your mind.
"Hey! It's great to see you guys—"
"—Sorry. I-I think I left something in the car. One second." you rushed out the words before turning on your heel.
Zendaya let out a long sigh, "Fuck."
Tom frowned, "Did I do something wrong?"
'But she's so sweet, she's so pretty. Does she mean you forgot about me?'
"Y/N!" an unfamiliar voice called out to you from somewhere in the boys' backyard.
It was Harrison's annual barbecue get together. Nearly three months since your break up with Tom.
You turned towards the source of the noise and found a girl walking towards you. Brunette. Tight black dress with black heels. Body and face of a model.
"I've been dying to meet you! I'm such a huge fan. I basically live off of your music." she giggled as she hugged you.
You smiled, "Aw! Thank you! That means so much to me. You look amazing, by the way."
She laughed, "Thank you! But you're absolutely gorgeous! Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce myself. I'm Nadia, Tom's girlfriend."
Of fucking course.
You raised your eyebrows, but managed to keep a smile on your face, "Oh! I've heard so much about you! Well, Tom's one lucky guy," you chuckled, "I'd love to chat some more, but I need to use the washroom. Excuse me. It was a pleasure meeting you." you gave her a hoaxed smile before quickly walking away.
You were two feet away from the washroom when Zendaya grabbed your arm, "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."
Your breaths were coming out in short puffs, "I just met Nadia?"
Her eyes widened before she dragged you towards Tuwaine's room, "Okay. Let's sit down."
'Oh, I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know. I can't let you go,'
"You should move in here." Tom mumbled against your shirt.
You let out a small laugh, "You already have four roommates, love. One more might turn this into a barn."
He lifted his head off of your chest, "I'm serious. Driving from Manchester to Kingston all the time is such a hassle for you. We have recording studios here and it would make me the happiest man in the world if I could wake up to your gorgeousness everyday." he planted kisses on your forehead, nose and lips.
You chuckled at his boyish grin, "It's only a three hour drive and I'm sure the boys don't want me imposing on your time with them."
He quickly shook his head, "I already talked to them about it and they want you here, too."
You raised your eyebrows, "Well, if you're sure it'll make you the happiest man in the world, I'll think about it."
"You already make me the happiest man in the world, but I needed something to convince you." he rested his head on your chest again as you laughed.
'So find someone great, but don't find no one better. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.'
"Are we ordering pizza?" Harrison yawned from beside you on the couch.
"Sushi?" you grinned hopefully.
Tuwaine shook his head, "We had sushi last night."
"Tom and I are making dinner for you guys!" Nadia reminded you from the kitchen.
Her arms wrapped around Tom's waist as he stirred whatever was in the pan he had on the stove.
You really hated their open floor layout at that moment since there wasn't a wall to block them from your view.
"Oh, yeah. What're you making?" Sam asked.
"Salmon with rice and steamed veggies." Tom answered without looking up from the pan.
Everyone made noises of realization as you turned to Harry, "Aliens or a tiger. Which do you think you could beat in a fight?" he asked.
You laughed before replying, "Hmm, depends. Are the aliens small or—"
"Tommy!" you heard a girly giggle and turned to see Tom with Nadia over his shoulder as they laughed and ran around the kitchen.
You quickly diverted your gaze to the coffee table. Forgetting about Harry's absurd question. All eyes were on you.
"What?" you asked when you finally looked up at your friends.
"Are you okay?" Harrison frowned from beside you before resting his head on your shoulder.
You let out a dry, quiet laugh, "Of course. As long as he's happy."
The looks of pity you received were almost as painful as the scene you witnessed moments ago.
'And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean,'
"Premiere day!" Zendaya walked into your shared hotel room with a bright smile, Nadia following behind her.
You faked a smile as you applied another coat of mascara, "You girls look gorgeous."
Zendaya was in a red and black sequin gown. Hair down and heels on. Nadia was dressed in a maroon silk dress with a slit on the side. Black heels dawning her feet. Both had makeup and accessories on matching their attire.
You were in an emerald green gown with a slit running down your left leg. Silver heels and silver jewellery to match.
"So do you!" Nadia exclaimed as she sat on Zendaya's bed.
"Are the boys coming soo—" Zendaya got cut off by three loud knocks on the door.
"I'll get it!" Nadia jumped up and opened the door.
Tom was stood before her in a maroon suit. Matching her dress. Black dress shoes. Matching her heels. Glasses on and a bright smile.
You watched as Tom ran his eyes down Nadia's outfit, "Well, aren't you just the most beautiful girl in the world?" he planted a kiss on her lips as you witnessed with envy.
"Aw, Tommy. I love you."
"I love you more, darling." he grinned before looking behind her.
Heart wrenching pain struck you again.
You watched as his mouth fell open by the slightest bit. Eyes growing wider.
He quickly snapped out of his daze, placing a pearly white smile on, "You two look absolutely stunning."
You acknowledged his compliment with a curt nod.
Zendaya let out a laugh, "Yup. About to out do you at your own premiere."
'Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me?'
"Green or white?" you held up both dresses against your body.
Tom looked up from his phone, "Both of them will look amazing on you, love."
You sighed, "I appreciate the compliment, but I am meeting Sebastian Stan tonight. Now is not the time for indecisiveness. One of them will make me look bad and I need to know which one."
The Infinity War premiere was in two hours and your anxiety was growing by the minute.
"C'mere." he motioned you towards him with a 'come hither' gesture as he sat on the edge of the hotel bed. You made your way towards him. Standing in between his legs as he wrapped his arms around your waist, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Absolutely gorgeous. You could make the ugliest dress look like something from a fairytale."
Your smile grew as he kissed your stomach, "Thank you, mi amor." you bent down and placed a peck on his forehead, leaning your head against his, you whispered, "Now, green or white?"
He chuckled and pecked your lips, "White."
You smiled before making your way to put on the white dress, "I love you."
"I love you more, darling."
'And now I'm picking her apart. Like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart. But she's beautiful, she looks kind. She probably gives you butterflies.'
"I don't like her." you murmured.
Zendaya chuckled, "Nadia? You barely know the girl."
You nodded, "And I don't like her. I don't like her giggles and her nickname for him. I don't like her hair."
You knew you were looking for things to dislike, but there weren't any. She was a fan of your music, she complimented you all the time. She was genuinely a great person.
She sighed, "No, you don't like the fact that she's dating Tom. If she wasn't, you wouldn't be saying any of this."
You rolled your eyes and glared at her, "Can you let me be angry?"
She laid herself down on your mattress, "Nope. If you wanna be angry, be angry at Tom. Nadia hasn't done anything to you. You're better than this."
"God, I hate your optimistic side sometimes." you threw a pillow at her.
She laughed, "One of us needs to be the optimist."
You sighed, "Do you think he misses me?"
"Yes." she replied without hesitation.
You sat up and furrowed your eyebrows, "What makes you say that?"
She let out a long breath, "You need to talk to him about that."
'I hope you're happy. I wish you all the best, really. Say you love her, baby. Just not like you loved me. And think of me fondly when your hands are on her. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.'
"And you're dead." you dropped the controller on your lap as you defeated Harrison in Super Smash Bros again.
He huffed like a child, "Unfair. I taught you how to play, how'd you get better than me?"
"Actually, I taught her how to play. And I am ten times better than you." Tuwaine corrected him.
Harrison scoffed, "Whatever. Sweaty nerds, the both of you."
Nadia spoke up from Tom's lap, "Can I try?"
You nodded, "Who do you wanna go against?"
She chuckled, "I think I'll verse Harrison. Seeing as how Y/N just kicked your ass, I wanna at least have a chance."
Her comment made you laugh as you handed her the controller and watched them pick their characters. You watched as Tom set his phone down and focused on the screen where his girlfriend chose Pichu.
"Choose Kirby." Tom told her.
She furrowed her eyebrows, "Why? Pichu is so cute."
"Y/N always plays as Kirby and she always wins. With that stupid power absorbing ability." he chuckled as his eyes landed on you.
You felt your heart skip a beat at the small detail he remembered before you played it off with a light laugh, "Not my fault you thought Luigi could beat Kirby everytime we played."
'Ooo-ooo, ooo-ooo, ooo-ooo,'
You pressed on the keys of the piano in the boys' home. Singing your heart out. You still had your spare key and Harrison told you no one was home.
You were waiting for them to return from golfing so you could have your Sunday night dinners. It's been nearly four months since your breakup with Tom. Your album was due to be released on May twenty-first and you were letting the still evident pain fuel your lyrics.
"I hope you're happy, just not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know. I can't let you go. So find someone great, but don't find no one better. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier." you faded out the piano and pressed stop on the recording on your phone.
Writing down small notes about the song and things to tweak, your thoughts were quickly interrupted.
"I'm not."
Your head snapped up. Tom was leaning against the doorframe behind you. Tears escaping his eyes.
"T-Tom. I'm sorry. Haz told me the house was empty and I just started playing and- Wait. What did you say?" realization dawned on you.
He stepped closer and sat beside you on the piano bench, "I'm not happier. Hell, I'm not even happy." he gave a pathetic attempt at a laugh, staring straight at the black and white keys.
Your mind was trying to catch up with everything happening, trying to register his words, the state he was in. Grey sweats, black tee. Messy hair and red eyes.
"Why?"
He released a heavy sigh, "There's so many things you could be asking 'why' about. Why did I break up with you? Why am I with Nadia? Why am I not happy? Why the hell am I crying? Which one is it, Y/L/N?"
You blinked a few times, "All of them."
He sniffled and rubbed his face, "I felt like I was holding you back." he started, catching a glimpse of your confused expression, he continued, "You hadn't released any music in over year. There were so many articles saying that I was the reason that the biggest pop star in the world was quitting music. I didn't want to be the reason for that."
"You weren't and you aren't." you assured him.
He shrugged, "I just felt like you would do a lot better without me. And you are. Look at you, your fifth album is coming out next month." he nudged you with his shoulder, "I'm proud of you," he smiled.
"T-thank you."
He nodded, "Anyways, why am I with Nadia? Um, a few days after we broke up, I went to a friend's place to distract myself, as one does. She was there. She was a distraction. I never meant for it to get this far. You know, she actually asked me to be her boyfriend." he chuckled dryly to himself as you listened intently. "I guess, I thought it'd be easier to move on if I had something else to pour my love into?"
You nodded slowly, "Okay, I somewhat get that. So you really do love her?"
He quickly shook his head, "No, no, I don't. I mean, I can't. No one can truly love two people at once. And I think that answers the question of why I'm not happy." he paused and faced you completely, "I'm crying because hearing that song and hearing how evident your pain in it is, that will make anyone cry. I'm crying because I miss you and I miss us. I-I miss what we had and what we were. I miss your kisses and your stupid jokes that only you laugh at. I miss going on walks with you and Tess. I just miss you."
There was a long period of silence after his confession. You were trying to process all the information he was giving. He was cursing himself for being so straightforward. The longer it went without a response from you, the more anxious he got. He grabbed your hands, holding them to his lips.
"Please say something. Anything."
Déjà vu.
You swallowed, "You want honesty?" he nodded, "Okay, I was so mad at you. I-I was infuriated. Y-you told me you weren't ready to give a hundred percent of yourself and that you couldn't be in a relationship until you could give all of yourself to that person. Then a month later, you're with her. Making me feel like you just couldn't give yourself to me." you paused and shook your head, "You could've told me the truth. You should've told me the truth. We could've talked about it. We could've avoided months of awkward run ins and no communication." he nodded, still holding your hands in his, "I'm not gonna lie and say I don't miss you because I do, I miss you more than anything, but we shouldn't be doing this or saying these things while you're with her." you removed your hands from his.
He spent a moment looking down at his fingers. Releasing short breaths. "I don't want to be with her."
"But you are. And I don't want you to break up with her for me. Because that's not how things work, Tom. But you shouldn't stay with her either. Especially if this is how you're feeling. That's just unfair to her." you shook your head and felt your mind clear.
He nodded and met your gaze, "This is the end of us, huh?"
You shook your head, "I don't think there will ever be an end to us." you laughed dryly.
He agreed with a smile, "For forever and a day, remember?"
warnings: talks of smut, drinking, suggestive, swearing and angst.
summary: your fwb relationship with tom was still a fresh wound and his new girlfriend loved picking at it.
a/n: happy pride month!
wc: 2.3k
You had messed up. Tom had messed up. Thinking that you could sleep with each other and not get attached. Spending endless nights together, filling the room with moans and heat. All while promising 'no strings attached'.
Your feelings for him had developed halfway through your year long rendezvous. The way he would lace your fingers with his as he pounded into you. Whispering sweet praises in your ear, guiding you to that high that you craved and only reached with him. His gentle kisses that were a complete abstract to the way his fingertips dug harshly into your hips. Everything he did had you falling head over heels.
Tom tried to fight off his heart. Tried to deny the growing love he had for you, but it was futile. Your fingernails left marks on his back, reminders of his nights with you. When you kissed his lips and lightly tugged on his locks, it was as if you were pulling the strings of his heart. The way you would lock eyes with him as you both climaxed, he fell head first into you and couldn't get out.
Your sexual agreement with him was strictly confidential. Meant to be platonic. None of your roommates knew of the activities going on after hours. No one noticed when you'd sneak into his room at three in the morning or when he'd leave yours at seven a.m., tiptoeing back to his bed.
You could barely recall how everything began. The night was a blur of too many shots and discarded clothes. You were able to remember the specific words: "Just once." Ironically, you both did not keep your word.
You remembered the time when everything fell apart. When your 'no strings attached' agreement formed two strong ropes, connecting you and Tom. His forehead rested against yours, thrusts growing sloppy as he neared his high. Pornographic moans falling from your lips. Seconds later, he lost all control and let four heavy words slip out.
"Fuck, I love you."
You remembered freezing. Heart rate sky rocketing. You weren't sure if your ears were playing tricks on you, but by the look on his face, you knew he had really said it. He had left in a panic, frantically grabbing his clothes and storming out of your room. Leaving you nude, out of breath and utterly shocked.
Your friendship with him took a toll after that incident. Your late night meetings came to an abrupt end. You couldn't be alone together, awkward silence eating away at the both of you. You both coped with the tension differently.
You spent more time out of the house. Going to clubs, visiting friends, even going to the gym. Anything to stay away from Tom and the history he held.
Tom tried to move on. He got himself a girlfriend. A pathetic attempt at distracting his mind from you and your shared secret. She would spend the nights at the house. You'd hear giggling through the walls, bed creaking, moans being muffled by the drywall.
You tried to convince yourself that it didn't hurt, that you held no romantic feelings towards him. But it was fruitless, he engraved himself into your heart.
You barely knew his girlfriend. Didn't have any interest in getting to know her. All you knew was her name and what she sounded like in bed. Nadia Parkes. A fellow actress friend of his.
She was never kind to you. From the first day you met at Tom's birthday party, she sent you sharp glares. Anytime you walked into the kitchen or living room, she would cling onto Tom like a lifeline. As if you would snatch him from her.
She became good friends with the rest of the house mates, Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry and Sam. Spending nights playing board games that you opted out of joining in for. But sometimes the four boys would beg you to sit down and spend time with them.
That's how you ended up here. Six months after Tom's confession. Sitting in your living room with your roommates and Nadia. Glasses of alcohol in front of you. Trying to fight the tension between you and a certain brunette Brit.
"Let's play a game." Nadia spoke up, Tom's arm around her shoulder.
Harrison shrugged, "What game?" he paused the movie playing on the telly.
Nadia smirked, "How about 'Never Have I Ever'?"
The boys shrugged, not caring about the game, too much alcohol in their systems to protest. You, however, weren't in the mood to sit around any longer and watch their disgusting acts of PDA. You knew that with the amount of liquor the group had taken, the game was bound to be a filthy one.
You shook your head, "I think I'm gonna turn in for the night." you stood up before Nadia spoke again.
"Aw, c'mon, Y/N. Play a few rounds with us." she fake pouted.
You narrowed your eyes at her, opening your mouth to reply, but Harry beat you to it, "Yeah, you're barely around anymore. It'll be fun." the redhead smiled.
You cursed him for speaking up, his hopeful grin making you sit back down on the couch with a huff.
"Goodie! Who wants to go first?" Nadia clapped her hands excitedly.
Sam's hand shot up, "I'll go. Never have I ever gone skinny dipping in a hotel pool." he stated.
You looked around as Harrison and Tom took a sip of their drinks. You lifted the glass and sipped a bit of the vodka.
Tuwaine chuckled, "Did all of you go skinny dipping together?"
Before you could deny the theory, Harrison nodded, "Yup. When we were in Atlanta for Spider-Man, Y/N came to visit and we went down to the pool. Man, we were so hammered. I remember I woke up wearing Y/N's bra!" his explanation of the story made the group laugh.
Everyone laughed except Nadia. Tom gave a slight chuckle. You smiled thinking of the memory. Nadia had a stone cold expression on her features. You couldn't understand her coldness. You barely interacted with the girl, you failed to think of a reason why she would dislike you.
"I wanna go!" Tuwaine announced, "Never have I ever faked an orgasm." your eyes widened at his risqué words.
You chuckled a bit, "How would a guy fake an orgasm?"
"Like, make the noises, but don't pull out?" Harry's guess made everyone laugh.
All the boys shrugged as they directed their attention towards you and Nadia. You sighed before taking a long swig of the liquor, Nadia did the same.
"What?! With who?!" Harrison exclaimed at the new found information.
Nadia smirked, "My exes. Never with Tommy." she turned and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
You nearly gagged. At the nickname that he knew you hated. At the grotesque display of affection. You wished that the alcohol would take away your ability to see.
"I don't know why it's so shocking. Most guys don't really care about a woman's pleasure. That is why vibrators exist." you tipped your glass as they chuckled.
Tuwaine furrowed his eyebrows, "Then why hook up with the guy if he doesn't make you finish?"
You shrugged, "Well, you don't know that they're not gonna make you finish until you're already doing it."
You watched from the corner of your eye as Tom's gaze stayed on you. Most likely wondering if you ever faked an orgasm with him. You hadn't, but there wasn't any way you could reassure him at the moment.
"Hmm, I'll go." Harry hummed, "Never have I ever joined the mile high club."
You scoffed and took a sip of the drink again. Harrison, Tom, Nadia and Tuwaine doing the same.
"You guys are insane." Sam mumbled making you laugh.
The only reason that you were a member of the club, was because of Tom. But you wondered if you were the only reason he was able to say he was as well.
Nadia smiled a sinister grin, "I think I'll go next." she sat up, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. She was sitting directly across from you, maintaining eye contact as she spoke, "Never have I ever had sex with an actor." she slowly lifted the glass to her lips and took a long sip.
Your breath hitched at her statement. The boys all locked eyes on you. Anticipating your next move. You chanced a quick glance at Tom who was subtly sipping his drink.
She couldn't know. Tom wouldn't have told her. So, where the hell did that come from? Was she making assumptions and trying to get an answer out of you? Or was she trying to brag? Sipping her drink, taunting you.
You let out a dry chuckle before bringing the rim of the glass to your lips and letting the alcohol run down your throat. There were audible gasps at your action. Tom diverted his gaze to the table in front of him. You watched as Nadia's jaw dropped. Pure shock written all over her face.
"What?!" Harry exclaimed, "I knew about Nadia and Spidey over there, but who the hell did you sleep with?"
Harrison gasped, "Please tell me it's Tom Cruise."
"Come off it, mate. It's obviously Leonardo Dicaprio." Tuwaine rolled his eyes
You shrugged with a laugh, "Who's going next?" you yawned and relaxed into the cushions.
Sam gasped, "Let's narrow it down. Never have I ever slept with a Marvel actor." he smirked as everyone continued to eye you.
Once again, Nadia sipped and you followed. Another chorus of gasps came from your friends.
"She's taking the piss. She has to be." Harry said with an unbelieving smile. "Hemsworth? Evans? It has to be one of the Chris'"
"Tom help us out!" Harrison screeched.
You chuckled as Tom shook his head, "You'll never know." you sent them a smirk, "Who's next?"
"You're grounded until we find out," Tuwaine pointed an accusing finger at you, "But I'll g—" he spoke again before Nadia cut him off.
"—Me! I'll go again." she leaned forward again, examining your every move. "Never have I ever slept with one of the Holland brothers." she smirked again, thinking you had actually spent the night with one of the Chris'.
You figured out that she was definitely trying to brag, thinking that you wanted her boyfriend. She wanted you to know all about their sex life. She wanted you to know that he was hers, not yours.
You watched as she smugly downed her drink. Eyes locking back on you. You felt your irritation towards her taking over. Her pleased expression had your blood boiling. All rationality flew out the window. You no longer cared about who found out about your history with Tom. Wanting nothing more than to slap the smirk off of her face.
Your eyes gazed at Tom. He was watching your movements intently. Waiting for you to take a sip. He didn't care about who found out either. Having been fed up with Nadia's attitude for a while. He gave you the smallest of nods. You smirked, an equally sly grin, before letting the liquor burn its way down again. Wiping the excess drop on your lip with your thumb.
Her jaw fell again. Everyone gasped. All eyes on you. Tom awkwardly cleared his throat. Trying his hardest to suppress his grin.
"I didn't sleep with her." Sam spoke slowly.
"Me neither." Harry followed, "And I highly doubt she shagged Paddy. So," he trailed off.
Everyone's eyes landed on Tom. His scarlet cheeks were enough to confirm their suspicions.
"No fucking way." Harrison mumbled.
Before anyone else could react, Nadia screeched, "You slept with my boyfriend?!"
You rolled your eyes, "If you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked."
"You're lying." her eyes flickered between you and Tom, "Tommy would never sleep with someone like you." she spat the words filled with venom.
Her words raised a different level of anger in you. Everyone froze at the insult.
You shook your head with a dry laugh, "Is that so? You should get to know your boyfriend a little better then." you fake pouted.
Her anger was evident on her features. Narrowed eyes, furrowed eyebrows. Her whole face was turning red, "You cheated on me?!" she directed her rage at Tom.
His eyes widened, "No! This was long before I met you!" he defended himself.
Nadia stammered momentarily, at a loss for words, "S-so it's true? You slept together?" her voice was almost inaudible.
You smirked a sly grin again, "I'm many things, but a liar is not one of them."
You could see Tom stifling a laugh in the corner of your eye before Nadia erupted with rage, "How could you?! I let you live with my boyfriend and you don't tell me that you slept together? You disgust me." she spat the words at you.
Your anger raised, you stood from your seat, "You did not allow me to live here because I don't need your permission to live with my friends." you paused and stepped closer to her, "If I disgust you so much, please feel free to walk yourself out of my home. Because frankly, you disgust me."
Everything was silent. Everyone was processing the situation. Harrison and Tuwaine had stood up when you did, prepared to hold you back in case things turned violent.
Nadia looked to Tom, "You're going to let her speak to me this way?"
Tom looked between the two of you before shrugging mindlessly, "It is her home." he mumbled.
You could see Harrison and Tuwaine stifling laughs out of the corner of your eye. Nadia's face turned a darker hue of red.
"I-I gave you everything! And this is what I get in return? I loved you with all of my heart, Tom." she turned her gaze on you. "You two deserve each other. Absolutely appalling." Nadia turned on her heel and left the house with a harsh slam of the door.
An eerie silence filled the room as all eyes were on you and Tom.
"We were together for, like, four months." Tom spoke into his glass.
Laughter erupted at his words. The comfort of your flat mates filled the air. Eyes locked onto Tom's again as you mouthed the long awaited words.
"I love you, too."
His grin grew tremendously. Matching the smile gracing your lips. You basked in the moment until Harrison's voice screeched.
"Wait! When the fuck did you two sleep together?!"
summary: you play aphrodite in the MCU and it's time for the press conference for infinity war. based off of this press conference
wc: 2.7k
"Tom Hiddleston!" Jeff Goldblum introduced the man who was sitting on your right.
Everyone applauded before Jeff moved onto you, "Y/N Y/L/N!" more applause rang through the room.
"Sebastian Stan!" you looked to your left where Sebastian waved to the crowd as you clapped with everyone else.
"Anthony Mackie!"
After Jeff finished with the introductions, he explained how the panel would work. He would pull a ping pong ball out of a container and it would either have a name or category. The audience would be able to ask a question to that person or a person in that category after Jeff called on them.
As he pulled RDJ's name out of the container, Tom leaned over towards you.
"Does your water taste funny, too?" he whispered making you stifle a laugh.
You nodded, "Kind of like lemon, right?"
He shook his head, "Mine tastes like mint. Can I taste yours?" he held his hand out as you passed him your water bottle. He took a sip and spent a moment analyzing the taste, "Yours does taste like lemon! Why does mine taste different? Here." he passed you his water.
You took a sip and were hit with a strong mint flavour, "Woah. I think they're trying to drug you." you joked making him laugh.
"As I am answering this question, Tom Hiddleston and Y/N Y/L/N are discussing the flavours of the water behind me." Robert exposed you and Tom to the audience making the room burst out into laughter.
"They have fancy water. Mint and lemon." Tom spoke into a mic drawing more laughs. "Sorry. Carry on!"
As Jeff pulled the next name, you adjusted your dress. A white, long sleeve, blazer dress with gold buttons down the middle, the dress ended mid-thigh. The v-neck cut showcased your subtle gold necklace. Black stiletto heels covered your feet.
You unconsciously began bouncing your leg up and down in a fast motion. Sebastian placed a hand on your thigh, stopping your movements, "You're gonna drill a hole through the floor, Y/L/N." he chuckled.
"Sorry." you laughed quietly.
Sebastian pulled out a notepad and pen, "You need a distraction. Tic-tac-toe?" he offered.
You smiled with a nod before making your move.
"You absolutely suck at this." you chuckled as you won the third game in a row.
Sebastian scoffed, "You can't suck at tic-tac-toe."
"And yet, you do." you smirked.
He rolled his eyes playfully before you continued playing.
After two more rounds, your attention was back on Jeff as he pulled a new ping pong ball. "Ooh! You can ask a God or Goddess." Jeff announced, "So, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth or Y/N Y/L/N." he reminded the crowd, "Okay, yes, you!" he picked a woman in the front row.
"Hi, I'm Alexis with Forbes. My question is for Y/N." the room applauded as Jeff tossed the ping pong ball at you and you caught it with one hand.
"See, Robert! It's not that hard!" Jeff exclaimed making everyone laugh.
"Screw off, Goldblum! You chucked that shit at my head." Robert joked back. "Sorry, Alexis, go ahead."
"Um, I wanted to ask about Aphrodite's powers. We all know that she is the Goddess of Love and can seduce anyone with her beauty. We see in the trailer a small clip of her seducing men. How many people did you seduce in the film and were there any funny moments filming those scenes that you can share?"
Her question drew a mix of reactions from the cast. Some laughed, some furrowed their eyebrows and others were just confused. You took in the question before opening your mouth to reply, until you remembered that you weren't wearing a body mic. The cast laughed again before Sebastian passed you a mic.
"Sorry. Um, how many people did I seduce in the film? None." you stated drawing more laughs, "How many people did Aphrodite seduce? All of them." you chuckled, "I'm kidding. Although, I'm not sure what I can share because I don't know what's in the trailer." you confessed, "Kevin, Joe, Anthony, what's in the trailer?" you asked them making everyone laugh again.
Kevin picked up a mic, "I believe it's you seducing Spider-Man, Starlord, Drax and Iron Man."
You nodded, "I do have a funny moment that I'm sure Mister Holland will kill me for sharing, but it's too good to not tell." you smiled thinking of the memory.
Tom immediately grabbed a mic, "You wouldn't!" he exclaimed making the audience and cast laugh.
"I would," you retorted, "We were shooting that scene and, as you know, they have to act like they are falling in love with me. Like I'm putting them in a trance. Well, Tom took that a bit too seriously." you paused at the laughter that your sentence caused, "They're all on their knees in front of me, looking at me as if I'm their queen, because I am." you joked, "And then Anthony calls 'cut' and Dave, Chris and RDJ all get up and start chatting, but as I'm turning away, Tom doesn't move. Still on his knees, looking at me as if I hold the world in my hands." the room filled with amused laughs and chuckles as Tom covered his face with his hands.
"No, it was so bad because I just looked like a creep that couldn't stop staring at her!" Tom laughed at himself.
Robert grabbed a mic, "Very true. I was watching and it honestly had me convinced that Y/N had real powers."
"I have to say, I understand the kid's reaction. Y/N's costume for Aphrodite and the way they transform her only enhances how gorgeous she already is." Anthony Mackie spoke up causing the crowd to gush and clap, "I'm pretty sure we all had the same reaction when we first saw her while filming Civil War." he looked around as the cast nodded.
Scarlett picked up a mic, "Yeah. I remember her walking on set in this stunning white dress which made me extremely jealous," she confessed, "Because, one, it's so gorgeous and she looks absolutely amazing in it," the crowd and cast applauded again, "And two, it's made of the softest silk while my suit is leather and spandex!" everyone laughed at her comment.
Benedict picked up his mic, "Although, it wasn't Tom's first time seeing Y/N as Aphrodite. He was in Civil War and still could not contain himself." he teased making the audience and cast laugh again.
Robert spoke again, "Yeah, he did that during the filming of Civil War, too." the room hollered with laughs.
Tom's face was bright red, "I'm just a very committed actor. I really give all of myself to my work." his comment drew more laughs.
"That's why Sebastian despises Tom. It all started when Tom couldn't take his eyes off of Y/N." Chris Hemsworth added making everyone double over in laughter.
"I feel so loved," you held a hand to your heart as the room chuckled, "These are genuinely the best people in the world and I guess you could say I seduced one person during filming." you joked as the crowd continued to laugh, "Sorry, Tom. I'll buy you some juice, don't be mad." Anthony and Benedict laughed loudly. "Thank you for your question!" you thanked the lady as the cast clapped before Jeff picked out the next ping pong ball.
Next was Scarlett. You sat back and silently judged the man who asked about fashion. Scoffing with Sebastian at his question and laughing at Scarlett's sarcastic and witty responses.
Sebastian leaned over again, "I have to piss."
You stifled a laugh at his abrupt confession, "Go to the washroom, then." you nodded your head towards the exit.
"We're not allowed to leave." he frowned.
You chuckled and reached over, patting his thigh with your hand, "Don't piss yourself."
He rolled his eyes playfully before Jeff called out the next name.
"Anthony Mackie!"
"Hi, I'm Tiffany with Times Magazine. With such a star studded cast, do you find it difficult or any obstacles in developing your character with all theses amazing stories being told and struggling for screen time? Like, are there any obstacles or special difficulties or is it all just amazing?"
Before Anthony could answer, Joe Russo picked up his mic, "Are you asking Anthony Mackie if he has a hard time getting attention?" his comment caused the whole room to erupt in laughs.
Anthony nodded slowly as the laughter died down, "Touché, touché. Uh, well, Tiffany, a wise man once said that some men need an hour to make their presence felt and some need thirty seconds." there was an uproar of laughter and hollering at his comment as he dramatically dropped the mic on the table.
"Who are we asking next?" Jeff squinted at the ping pong ball, "Ooh! Back to the Goddess of Love herself, Y/N Y/L/N!" the room applauded for you as Jeff threw the ball to you.
Sebastian intercepted the toss and caught the ball himself with a smug smirk. You rolled your eyes, but smiled as Jeff picked a lady out of the dozens who had raised their hand.
"Hi, I'm Amy with Esquire and I wanted to ask about the relationship between Bucky and Aphrodite. We see in the previous films their awkward tension from their past history. They have a very special romance and their love story is a fan favourite in the Marvel fandom. What was it like building that bond and relationship on screen? And what do you think of the choice to match the two characters together, how did you react when you found out? Did the pairing of the two help build your bond off screen?"
Jeff spoke again, "I said 'one question', that was at least twenty." he teased the lady drawing laughs from the room.
You chuckled and nodded slowly as the laughter died down, "Excellent questions. Umm, I honestly really like the pairing of the two. I think it gives a great dynamic to both characters and reveals sides of them that we never would've seen without their relationship. It's a very 'good girl falling for the bad guy' trope. And if I'm being honest, I've always wanted that." you confessed causing the room to chuckle, "Their relationship is, without a doubt, one of the most complicated ones in the MCU, but I think that's what makes it so loved by the fans since there's not a dull moment between the two. It's nice to see Bucky have a sentimental side, in his own awkward way of course. And you get to see Aphrodite fall for someone who's not a God or a Titan." you turned to Sebastian, "What do you think?"
You offered him the mic, but he didn't take it, letting you hold it up for him, "Yeah, I agree. I never thought Bucky would have a love interest, if I'm being honest. But I'm glad he does because Aphrodite brings out the soft side in him and he brings out the fighter in her. They really balance each other out and Y/N portrays the character in such a unique way, it really brings a whole new fresh persona to Aphrodite and it's amazing having her as a partner on screen." the audience applauded at his words, "When I first found out about Bucky having her as his love interest—"
"—He called me screaming about how hyped he was." Anthony Mackie cut him off making the room laugh. "Anthony! Anthony! Bucky is gonna be with Aphrodite! That's gonna be sick!" Anthony mocked his voice as you were hunched over with laughter.
Sebastian nodded with a smile, "I did. Won't lie, I did. It's a really refreshing relationship and I'm glad that the fans love it as much as I love playing it. Back to you, you haven't talked about the development and our bond." he gave you a lopsided grin.
You chuckled, "I feel like I'm rambling, but yeah. Their development is definitely," you paused, trying to find the right words, "A development?" you settled on drawing more laughter. "Well, as I said, it's very complicated, but awkwardly adorable at times. Since Seb complimented me, I feel obligated to say something nice about him," you joked making them laugh again, "Kidding. He really does play Bucky with such passion and commitment, it's truly inspiring. And working with someone who loves what they do as much as Seb, it definitely motivates you tremendously and yeah. Um, I won't lie, I honestly was dreading working with Seb," you confessed drawing laughs and a gasp from Sebastian.
"Why?!" he exclaimed making you laugh.
You sighed, "Not because I think you're a bad person or anything, but you come off as very intimidating to people who don't know you very well. And I knew nothing about you before filming other than the films you'd already done, so you scared me." your confession caused everyone to laugh loudly.
Sebastian smirked jokingly, "I am extremely frightening. I understand." he shrugged.
You scoffed with a laugh, "I caught you sleeping with a stuffed turtle and whale noises playing." the room roared with laughter again, "That's when I knew you were a big softy."
Sebastian rolled his eyes playfully, "She's joking. I am the toughest man alive." he deepened his voice.
You shook your head with a chuckle, "Sure. Thank you for your questions." the room clapped for you as you set the mic down and relaxed back into your seat.
"Nailed it." Sebastian held a hand out for a high five and you chuckled before hitting your hand against his.
For the rest of the press conference, you sat back and listened to your friends answer questions. Laughed at jokes made and clapped when appropriate. Small tic-tac-toe games went on between you and Sebastian. Your attention was fully on your nails when Tom Hiddleston got called on.
"Hi, I'm Samantha with Daily Mail and I was wondering, since Loki is a very closed off and mysterious character, we never explore the aspect of him having a love interest. So, if you could choose anyone from the MCU for Loki to end up with, who would it be and why?"
You turned to look at Tom as he pondered on the question, crossing his arms and rubbing his chin, "Very good question. Umm, who would I choose for Loki? Let's see," he paused again and looked around the room until his eyes landed on you, "Ah, I'd steal Aphrodite from Bucky." he answered making the room laugh and Sebastian chuckled with a nod.
"Why Aphrodite?" Jeff asked.
Tom chuckled again, "Well, it's Aphrodite." he simply answered drawing more laughs, "They are so different yet similar in so many ways. Loki is never fully evil nor fully good, but I think Aphrodite has the best chance of turning him good. And who wouldn't want to end up with the Goddess of Love?"
The cast nodded understandingly before Chris Pratt grabbed a mic, "If you were to ask any person on this stage that same question, I guarantee the answer would be Aphrodite." the whole cast nodded.
"They're all trying to steal Sebastian's woman." Jeff teased.
Sebastian scoffed jokingly, "They're all jealous." he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.
You chuckled with a shake of your head before Robert spoke up, "Adding onto the conversation. Miss Y/L/N, who would you want Aphrodite to end up with?" his question drew excited reactions from the crowd.
You let out a bark of laughter before looking from Tom to Sebastian, "Hmm, excellent question, Mister Downey." you rubbed your chin, "Stop doing that, Holland." you chuckled as you saw Tom point at himself in the corner of your eye.
He raised his hands in surrender before Anthony Mackie spoke up, "Spidey is five years old, kid." everyone laughed at that.
"I'd have to stick with Bucky. He is her true love." you shrugged as the crowd cheered.
Sebastian smirked from beside you as the men of the cast faked disappointment.
As the panel came to a close, you looked around at the family you were surrounded by. Friends you love more than anything. Hundreds of memories with the most amazing people you'd ever met. Your home.
summary: after your abrupt confession and move to manchester, tom struggles to cope with your absence.
wc: 3k
"Please come back."
Tom repeated that to himself every day like a prayer. Hoping that somehow you could hear his chants and you'd find your way back to him.
To say that Tom wasn't doing well, wouldn't even cover half of it. Half an hour must have passed before he ran into the house. Ignoring the calls from his friends and made his way straight to your bedroom.
A part of him hoped that it would be filled with your clothes and your bedsheets with your stupid Captain America pillow that you bought just to piss him off. He hoped that all your belongings would still be placed where they always were. That your car would drive back into the driveway and everyone would burst out laughing at the fact that you managed to prank him.
But the room was bare. No sheets on the mattress, no clothes in the closet. You were on your way to Manchester and you'd left him behind. The room still smelled like you. Your perfume left an impression in the walls. It seemed to carve itself into the drywall. And Tom wasn't complaining.
Over the years of your friendship, you managed to etch your initials into his heart. And when you drove off, they only seemed to run deeper.
Tom spent the first few days just visiting your old room, sitting on the bare mattress, eating tubs of mint chocolate chip ice cream. He installed a new telly in the space and watched a different 'Harry Potter' film every night.
He hadn't been to the golf course in weeks. Any Beatles song brought tears to his eyes.
'Here comes the sun, doo da doo doo,'
He hadn't spoken to Nadia since the day you left. The family game nights came to a stop after he missed the fourth one in a row.
Harrison and Tuwaine were extremely worried about their friend. Their texts and calls were always the same.
Harrison: hey how's manchester?
Y/N: it's great! how's kingston?
Harrison: same old same old have u talked to tom lately?
Y/N: no why
Tuwaine: he's been cooped up in your room for weeks
Y/N: aw
Tuwaine: aw? bitch aw?
Y/N: what
Harrison: can u text him or something i'm sick of his moping around. like t and i do it in private but he's showcasing his sorrow like a bloody film
Y/N: idt that's the best idea haz just give him time and he has my number he can text me. i gtg now talk to u later love u guys byee
Tuwaine: smfh love u too
Harrison: fuckin fine ig i love u too bye
What really broke your heart was when Nikki and Paddy called.
Ring, ring, ring!
Your phone sounded from beside you. Nikki was FaceTiming. momma holland. With furrowed eyebrows, you pressed 'accept'.
'Here comes the sun, and I say,'
Nikki's face immediately took over your screen, "Hello, darling! I haven't seen you in ages!"
You unconsciously smiled, "Hi, Nikki! I know, moving is a lot more work than I expected."
"I heard. And I'm a little angry that you didn't tell me before you left! We could've thrown you a going away party!" she pouted.
You quickly shook your head, "No need. Thank you though. And I'm sorry. It was a very impulsive decision. The boys didn't even know I was leaving until the day I left."
"As long as your happy, dear. I heard Tom's not doing so well." she frowned.
You nodded, "I heard that, too. I hope he feels bett—"
"—Is that Y/N?!" Paddy's voice called from behind the camera.
Nikki nodded before Paddy's face came into view.
You felt yourself getting emotional as the young boy waved at you before his features turned into anger and he grabbed the phone out of his mom's hand.
"I am so mad at you!" he yelled at you through the screen.
You frowned, "I'm sorry, P. I promise I'll visit soon."
He shook his head furiously, "You wouldn't have to visit if you didn't leave!" his anger was coming out in tears that he tried to wipe away quickly, but you saw them fall.
"You really thought I could live in that house with those boys forever? It was like a barn party every day." you joked, but he didn't laugh.
"You could've lived with us! Or moved somewhere fucking closer! Not bloody Manchester!" he screeched.
"Language!" Nikki called out making him mumble a quick 'sorry, mum'.
"I'm visiting soon, P. Can you wait that long? I know it's unbearable." you spoke sarcastically as he narrowed his eyes at you.
"You better not be lying. And yes, I will see you when you come. I expect a souvenir."
After you exchanged your goodbyes, the waterworks started.
'It's alright.'
That's where our story begins, with Tom moping around in your abandoned bedroom. Empty tubs of ice cream littering the floor. He had moved his blankets and pillows into your room and rarely ever left.
Three hundred and fourty-four kilometres away, you were crying into your pillow after you had hung up on Nikki and Paddy. Pictures of your friends hung up high on your wall in your new flat. Your Captain America pillow laying beside you.
Tom's pain seemed never ending. He punished himself by not eating properly, barely sleeping and sleeping too much. He couldn't even recall the last conversation he had with Nadia or if they were still together. He knew that she would come by the house often and ask to see him, but he remained hidden in your room.
Your last conversation with him replayed in his mind endlessly. He tried to figure out where he had gone wrong. What he could've said to make you stay. But the truth is, your mind was already made up. He could've professed his love to you right there and you still would've been on your way to Manchester. As much as this was an opportunity to get yourself away from Tom and all the heartache attached to him, this was a chance for a fresh start. A new beginning. To focus on yourself.
But Tom didn't understand that. His mind was set on the fact that he was the only reason you had left and he wasn't completely wrong. But the blame couldn't be put on one person. If you had just told him how you felt, maybe you'd be laying in bed with him right now, watching 'Harry Potter' and eating unhealthy amounts of ice cream.
'Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter,'
Maybe if Tom had owned up to his long lasting feelings for you instead of hiding them by being with other women, then he'd be dancing in the kitchen with you while 'Penny Lane' played on the speakers.
Or you'd be at a golf course while Tom threatened to push you in the small lake.
His guilt was eating away at him day by day. Your heavy absence stopped him from doing everyday activities. When he had to shoot scenes, the crew noticed his change of mood. The anger-filled scenes came easily to him. He didn't need any menthol under his eyes to get the tears falling.
He simply recalled the memory of you leaving in his head and salty tears flooded his eye sight within a matter of seconds. He moped around the house like a ghost. Anything anyone said to him went in one ear and came out the other.
Harrison was dealing with the situation significantly better than Tom, but not well. You noticed that he'd call every night. He'd make excuses as to why he was ringing you. From a problem with the telly to a new appliance they added to the kitchen, Harrison searched desperately for reasons to talk to you. As if he needed any.
Tuwaine definitely handled it the best, to a certain degree. He'd call or text occasionally, but not overwhelmingly. He'd give you updates on acting jobs he got and ask about your new job.
What Tuwaine refrained from telling you was how he cried in his room for hours after you left. Harrison would inform you of the situation, most likely trying to guilt you into moving back in. Tuwaine stopped watching action films. His 'Continue Watching' on Netflix was filled with sappy romcoms and children's cartoons.
'Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here,'
You left a heavy impression on the men you lived with and it wasn't something that would disappear overnight. Or at all.
A knock on your bedroom door shook Tom out of his haze. Harrison popped his head into your old room. His eyes scanned the depressive state Tom was basking in before sighing.
"Nadia is here." Harrison informed him.
Tom groaned, "Tell her I'm sleeping." he pulled the blanket over his head.
Harrison stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the mattress, "Already did. She said that she knows we're lying and she needs to talk to you."
Tom let out yet another groan before throwing the blanket off of his head and standing up, "Bloody fine."
Harrison took Tom's spot in your bed as Tom made his way to the living room where Nadia was anxiously walking back and forth.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" she screeched.
Tom winced at the loud noise, "What do you mean?"
She scoffed incredulously, "You don't answer any of my texts or calls. You refuse to see me when I come here and you've spent almost the last two months in Y/N's old room! Don't ask me what I mean!"
'Here comes the sun, doo da doo doo,'
Tom sighed and sat down on a stool at the kitchen island, "I lost my best friend. I'm sorry if I haven't been one hundred percent available, Nadia. But it's not exactly the easiest thing in the world."
She groaned in frustration, "I am used to your unavailability. Trust me. But not to this extent. You could've had the decency to pick up my calls or at least text me to let me know you're alive! Bloody hell, I had to text Harrison and Tuwaine to even know if you were still in London!"
"I'm sorry." Tom repeated, but there was no remorse in his words.
He didn't have the energy to argue with her. He couldn't even act like he did. Every minute that he spent outside of your room felt as if it were draining him drop by drop.
"Y-you're sorry? You're sorry?" she walked to stand in front of him, "You fucking should be! I am still your girlfriend! And I don't know what you were taught, but this isn't how you treat someone you love."
"I just lost someone that I love!" his sudden outburst caught Nadia off guard, "So don't give me some bullshit about how to treat people. I've already learned my lesson the hard way. And now she's gone. So, God," Tom shook his head, "I don't need to hear it from you."
'Here comes the sun, and I say,'
Nadia struggled to find her voice again. She knew your absence had affected Tom, but not to this extent. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that you had such a large impact on him.
"You're acting like Y/N's dead. Ring her up. Text her. Unless you forgot how to. Wouldn't be a surprise since you couldn't even pick up the phone for me." she scoffed again.
Her words sparked a new level of anger in Tom, "Oh, please. Don't make this about you. This has nothing to do with you." Tom spat the words harshly, "You, you, you act like you know everything about this when you have no clue! Absolutely no clue about any of it!"
Tom knew he was being cruel. Taking his pent up anger out on the one person he blamed besides himself. He blamed her for reasons that he couldn't even comprehend. His anger and frustration overpowering any other emotion he felt for Nadia.
Her anger matched his, "Because you don't tell me anything! Maybe if you had answered your girlfriend's calls or responded to your girlfriend's texts, then she'd know about it. But no." she shook her head aggressively, "What do you do instead of handling the situation like a mature adult? You lock yourself in Y/N's old room for weeks. How the hell is anyone supposed to help you when you do that?!"
'It's alright.'
Tom stood, towering over her, "Don't talk to me about maturity when you can't get out of your own head to let me cope with the loss of my best friend." his chest heaved up and down. He spoke slowly and enunciated every word, making sure she'd understand, "I never asked for help. I don't need help. I need Y/N. Can you do that for me? Can you bring her back here?" his eyes scanned her starstruck expression, "Exactly." he stepped away and fell back into the stool.
A wave of silence fell over the distraught couple, covering them like a snug comforter. Except it wasn't comfortable. The silence was heavy and ironically deafening. Neither said a word for what felt like eternity.
"When she left, the day she left. When we left you two outside alone. What did she say to you?" Nadia's voice was almost inaudible. She spoke softly, in a whisper. As if she were scared of the answer to her question.
Tom scoffed at the question, "That's none of your business. There's a reason why it was only us out there."
The words hung between them. Another moment of silence enveloping the room. Until it clicked in Nadia's head.
'Little darling, the smile's returning to the faces,'
"She told you she loved you." she stated rather than asked. "Like, in love with you."
Tom's lack of a response confirmed her suspicion.
"And you told her you loved her back. Am I correct?"
Tom shook his head, exasperated, "I don't think this is working out." he referred to their relationship.
Nadia gave a fake gasp, "You don't say?"
"I'm sorry." he said again.
Nadia nodded slowly, "Yeah, I got that."
Tom forced himself to meet her gaze. He could've never guessed by her tone or her words, but there were streaks of tears falling down her cheeks. Washing away the makeup on her skin. To Tom's surprise, his eyes were dry. Not a single tear clouded his vision.
'Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here,'
"I think you should leave." he mumbled. "I really am sorry."
All anger had faded from him. He felt numb. Emotionless. Nothing.
Nadia nodded again, "I know. I'll see you around, then. Goodbye, Tom." her voice broke at the end of her farewell before she grabbed her purse and left the house without a second glance back at the man.
Tom stayed glued to the chair for at least half an hour. His mind was in pieces. But each part belonged to you. He played with his fingers. Tapping them against the marble, picking at his cuticles. A bad habit that you used to scold him for.
He ran a hand down his face, covering his mouth before sighing and getting up to his feet. He dragged them to the door, remembering that he hadn't locked it after Nadia's departure.
'Here comes the sun,'
Right hand on the lock, left hand in his pocket, he slowly turned the knob before a quiet knock from the other side of the wood made him freeze. He assumed it was Nadia again. That she had forgotten something or she wanted to try and save their relationship.
He opened the door with closed eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his index and thumb, "Look, Nadia. We already broke up and I think it's best that it stays—"
His words got caught in his throat. Mouth hanging open. Eyes growing wider by the second. He blinked a few times to register the sight in front of him. Unsure if his mind was playing tricks on him. But it was real.
Your expression matched his. Shocked that he was the one who opened the door. Stunned at the words that left his lips. Your hand involuntarily tightened on the handle of your suitcase. Your breath quickened along with your heartbeat. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears.
'Here comes the sun, and I say,'
It was obvious that your move had a great affect on Tom. You could tell by his appearance. Grey sweat shorts, a white tee that was in desperate need of a wash. His hair was overgrown and tangled. Dark bags under his eyes matching the colour of his purple socks. A small amount of facial hair showed that he hadn't shaved since the last time you saw him. He looked terrible.
Tom examined your attire. Baggy mom jeans hugged your legs in the right places. A sage green cropped tee and white sneakers. You outfit showed the exact opposite of how you felt. You looked put together, collected, happy. That's how Tom saw you. Two months later and you still looked as beautiful as ever to him. A part of him wished you didn't, though. A small section of his mind wanted you to look as miserable as he did. To look as if being away from him changed you as much as it changed him.
It must've been at least five minutes before Tom spoke again, but even then, he couldn't muster up a full sentence, "You- You're. A-are you- You're—"
'It's alright.'
You couldn't help but to let out the smallest of laughs at his stuttering. The sound brought joy to his features. Your laugh was like Advil for him and his head was aching. The small smile that graced your lips brought him a new sense of peace that he hadn't felt in so long. You nodded slightly, the same content grin on your lips.
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summary: it's your album release day and a certain song leaves tom dumbfounded.
wc: 2.8k
Two months later and the cracks in your heart were still evident. Some have tried to fuse back together, but everytime you were nearly okay, a new article would appear or they'd come waltzing into the pub.
You had finished the album, done the promotions and now, it was finally being released to the public. Eighteen tracks, one hour and eleven minutes. It was normal for you to have a bit of anxiety on release day, you had for your last three albums, but this one was different. There was one song that had your nerves sky rocketing.
Track number seven. 'girl crush'. You'd put it as track number seven for a specific reason. Seven, to represent your seven years of friendship with Tom. Seven, to represent the seven years of you denying your feelings for him.
You weren't sure if Tom would even listen to the album. You hadn't spoken to him in at least four months. Small texts back and forth of 'what time at the pub tn?' and '9' were the extent of your interaction. You knew he was doing well, he had finished filming a new film and spent more time golfing. With Olivia.
Zendaya still came by regularly. She extended her stay in London, but stopped bringing vodka, just ice cream. Occasionally, Harrison and Tuwaine would pop by and check up on you. They'd stay overnight sometimes and binge watch Marvel movies with you. Harry and Sam would FaceTime you almost every week. Telling you about new acting gigs Tom managed to get for Harry or delicious recipes that Sam had perfected. They all knew you were hurting and refused to let you deal with your shattered heart alone.
Even Nikki and Dom came over one time. They brought Paddy with them and some Chinese takeout. You weren't sure if they knew about your broken state, but you enjoyed their company nonetheless.
The past two months had its highlights and low spots. You spent a significantly larger amount of time surrounded by your loving friends. But maybe the low was that Tom never showed. You weren't sure if you were thankful that he didn't or if you were slowly starting to despise him for it. But then again, you didn't show up at his home or text him. You couldn't expect him to know how you were feeling if you refused to say anything.
Now you were at BBC Radio One. On the breakfast show with Nick Grimshaw. Promoting your new album and explaining the background to each song before it played. Trying to hold your tears in and laughing through the pain.
"Okay, that was number six on the album, 'just a friend to you'! These are amazing, Y/N!" Nick complimented you, making you smile.
You nodded, "Thank you! That one was probably the easiest to write."
"Really? Why is that? I don't get the whole songwriting thing. I failed English in secondary school." he confessed, making you laugh.
"It just has a very simple melody and the lyrics somewhat remind me of a high school love. Young and foolish." you vaguely explained the song.
Leaving out the part that everything about the song was inspired by Tom.
Nick nodded, "This next track, track number seven. 'girl crush'. Ooh! What's this one about?" he got excited after reading the title.
You chuckled, a heat creeping up your neck, "Umm, this one is about- Hmm." you laughed lightly, "I wrote this one about two months ago, it was one of the last songs that we added to the album. As for what it's about, let's see." you rubbed your chin.
Nick laughed loudly into the microphone, "Y/N Y/L/N cannot come up with lies on the spot."
You gasped with a laugh, "I am not coming up with a lie! I am trying to find the right words to describe the song. Umm, okay, let's say that the person you want is dating a girl. This song is just about how one might feel if they were going through that situation. But I think it can be interpreted in many ways, so I'll leave that up to the fans."
Nick raised an eyebrow at you, "And have you gone through that situation? Is this one written from personal experience?"
You chuckled and bit your lip, "I think all artists write from personal experience. Or at least try to. It makes our work more authentic and – personally – I think it makes for better songs when you know that all the emotions the artist felt have been poured into the song." you gave an answer without actually answering the question.
Nick nodded again, "Okay, here is 'girl crush'."
He pressed a button and the guitar melody filled your ears. You felt as if you were reliving the moment you wrote the song as it played in your headphones.
What you didn't know was that Tom was sat in his home with Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry, Sam and Olivia. BBC Radio One playing on the telly as they sat around in the living room, eating snacks and listening to your album.
"Umm, okay, let's say that the person you want is dating a girl. This song is just how one might feel if they were going through that situation." you voice filled the room.
Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry and Sam all froze momentarily at the words that left your lips. Trying their best to not set off any alarm in Tom or Olivia as they all continued to listen in.
"And have you gone through that situation? Is this one written from personal experience?"
They had no reason to be nervous, but their palms got slightly clammy as they waited for your answer. Eyes flicking to Tom and Olivia who remained cuddled up and oblivious to what you were saying. At least Olivia was. Tom on the other hand had sweat starting to build down his spine with each song that played. His heart rate only quickening when you spoke about what inspired the latest song.
They heard you chuckle before answering, "Umm, I think all artists write from personal experience." you started and they knew it was going to be the same generic answer you gave everytime an interviewer asked you the question.
But as the song played, Tom moved slightly away from Olivia, trying to give your tune his undivided attention, despite the nerves cascading through him.
"I got a girl crush. I hate to admit it, but I got a heart rush. It ain't slowing down. I got it real bad. Want everything she has. That smile and that midnight laugh, she's giving you now."
This was the first time any of them were hearing the tune. And to say you left them all starstruck would be an understatement. Harry, Sam, Harrison and Tuwaine had to force their mouths shut as you sang. Tom had a faint expression of disbelief on his face as he listened to the lyrics and Olivia's head snapped towards the telly.
"I want to taste her lips. Yeah, 'cause they taste like you. I wanna drown myself in a bottle of her perfume. I want her long blonde hair. I want her magic touch. Yeah, 'cause maybe then you'd want me just as much. And I've got a girl crush. I've got a girl crush."
Olivia looked down at her hair at the lyric. Tom looked to his mates who all avoided engaging in any eye contact with him.
"When did she write this?" he asked them as the guitar filled the silence of the room.
All four looked to each other before Harrison sighed, "She said she wrote it about three months ago."
Tom did the math in his head. September, August. July. You wrote it in July. The month of the Summer Time Hyde Park Festival. The same month that article got released with the paparazzi pictures. You wrote it when he went public with Olivia.
His heart started beating out of his chest, a wave of chills running over him. You wrote it about him and Olivia. He tried to convince himself that it wasn't true. He was overthinking. You could've written the song about anyone. But the timeline was too similar. The lyrics were too straightforward. After hearing 'just a friend to you' his suspicion about whether or not you had written any songs about him was clouding his brain.
"I don't get no sleep. I don't get no peace. Thinking about her under your bedsheets. The way that she's whispering. The way that she's pulling you in. Lord knows I've tried, can't get her off my mind."
It was as if someone had locked up Tom's throat and thrown away the key. He couldn't find any words as you sang the chorus again. His hands involuntarily shook. They all knew the inspiration for the tune.
As the song ended, Tom still hadn't found his voice. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, chin in his hands. Fingers covering his lips to prevent his jaw from dropping. He listened as you got questioned about the song again.
"Woah. I feel like I've just been cheated on by my imaginary boyfriend." Nick laughed.
Your voice sounded again, "Yeah, that one carries a lot of emotion in it."
"I'm going to ask again, even though I know you hate it when I do, who's the song about?"
Your awkward laugh did nothing to cut through the tension in the room, "Man, if I told you, then you'd see that a bunch of the other songs are about him as well. So, I'm going to say that this one is about my pet bunny and his new girlfriend that I bought for him."
Your friends let out little laughs at your answer, but Tom was focused on the first sentence you said.
"A bunch of the other songs are about him as well."
Even he couldn't convince himself that track number seven wasn't about him. Now he wondered just how many he had inspired. He had his suspicions that you had some feelings for him, but he pushed them aside. You could never like him back. You were his best friend. He created his own rejection and used that as motivation to find someone new. Someone to get his mind off of you and the possibility of something happening between you two.
"So there is a him! Can I ask one more question before we move onto 'to love someone else'?"
"I'm scared, but sure."
"Does this boy who inspired many of your songs, go by the name of Tom Holland?"
Everyone froze. Jaws hung low. Harrison swore he could hear your heart pounding over the radio. Tom stared blankly ahead at the floor. Anticipation eating away at him as he awaited your answer. He knew you weren't going to admit on live radio that he was the inspiration, but you didn't need to. He already knew.
You mustered up your acting skills and laughed lightly, "Unfortunately, no. I've seen the people shipping us and all the edits, but Tom is my best friend and he is in a very happy relationship with a gorgeous girl. I respect their relationship, as should everyone else. The person who inspired these songs surely knows who he is, if he's listening right now."
"Fair enough. I have some tweets coming in from fans. Should we read them?"
"Yeah, of course."
Tom still hadn't moved from his position. Your songs, your words left him dumbfounded. He chewed on his bottom lip absentmindedly. Melancholy memories of the two of you floated around in his mind. His eyes drifted to the wall across from him. A picture of you and him at his twenty-first birthday party framed neatly on his shelf. The night he nearly confessed his feelings for you, but let his anxiety get the best of him.
Nobody made a move, your voice still blasting from the speakers. Until Olivia got up and shut the telly off with the remote. Angrily throwing it down on the couch. Her harsh movements startled the men, causing all heads to turn to her.
"What're you doing? We're still listening to her album." Harrison chuckled awkwardly before reaching for the remote.
Olivia scoffed, "The album that she wrote about my boyfriend? I don't want to listen to that."
Her words left them all in shock. Olivia was always a nice girl. Calm, collected. Her sudden outburst had them bewildered. They knew every lyric was born out of your love for Tom, but you were one of their best friends. There was no way they were gonna be the ones to confess for you.
Tuwaine furrowed his eyebrows, "She just said that the songs aren't about Tom."
"As if she would confess her feelings to the whole world." Olivia crossed her arms and sat next to Tom again.
Harrison rolled his eyes before turning the telly on again. 'to love someone else' played through the room.
"I don't want to listen to her stupid album!" Olivia repeated.
Harry chuckled, "I thought you were her biggest fan."
"Not anymore." Olivia mumbled and wrapped her arms around Tom's bicep.
Tom immediately curled away from her, "Liv, Y/N is our friend. We're gonna support her and listen to her album. It's her release day." he tried to explain in the nicest way possible.
"I'm not her friend. I don't need to listen to her bloody awful songs." she scoffed again.
"Then leave." Sam's voice was stern. Demanding.
Olivia was shocked. Her boyfriend's best friends and brothers were kicking her out.
"Seriously. She called you gorgeous and said she respected your relationship with Tom and you're being completely rude." Harrison added.
Olivia stammered, "F-fine. Let's go, Tom." she stood up, purse in hand and started walking to the door.
Tom stayed in his seat. All eyes were on him. Anticipating his next move. Olivia stopped when she didn't hear his footsteps behind her.
"Tom. Let's go." she enunciated every word.
Tom still stayed stuck to the couch. Avoiding everyone's gazes.
"I'm going to walk out that door and if you're not outside in the next ten seconds, we're over." she stated sternly before marching to the front door and leaving the house.
Tom's eyes flickered from the door, to his mates, to the TV where your voice could still be heard. With a sigh he got out of his seat and dragged his feet to the door.
Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry and Sam all let out groans of frustration at the sight. Infuriated that their best mate and brother was about to follow Olivia wherever she was heading. They all shook their heads with sadness and disappointment waiting for the sound of a shutting door.
But it never came. Tom waltzed back into the room. Taking his seat on the couch again as if nothing happened.
"I thought you left. What did you do?" Tuwaine laughed lightly.
Tom shrugged, "Had to lock the door."
The boys had a moment of shock before applause and laughter filled Tom's ears.
"That's brilliant! Oh, geez. Are you okay, though?" Harrison was still laughing as he asked.
Tom nodded, a content smile on his face, "Yeah, I feel great, surprisingly."
"Thank you for joining us today and celebrating your release here!" Nick's voice brought their attention back to the telly.
"Thank you for having me!"
"Do you have any plans for today? Any parties to celebrate the release?"
"Hmm, nope. I think I'm going to go home and take a long nap."
Your answer made Nick and the boys laugh.
"Well, I hope you have a good nap. Congratulations on the album, it's absolutely amazing."
"Thank you!"
As your segment on the show ended, Tom glanced at his phone. His finger hovering over your contact. Throwing his doubts out of the window, Tom typed up a message and hit send.
You signed autographs and took selfies with fans who had waited outside the building before your security ushered you into the black SUV. You released a long breath as you settled in the car. Enjoying the silence of the drive home until your phone dinged.
tom: great album. have you ever released a bad song? x
You smiled involuntarily before typing a response.
y/n: haha thank you x
tom: are you set on taking a nap or can i convince you to come over?
y/n: i wouldn't want to intrude on your time with olivia and the boys
tom: there's no olivia anymore
y/n: oh i'm sorry
tom: don't be but i think we should talk
y/n: idk that kind of scared me and a nap sounds rlly good rn
tom: i'll get sushi and don't be scared. only good things darling
y/n: you had me at sushi
Tom let out a joyous laugh at your response back before pocketing his phone and leaning against the couch with a grin.
"Luca, do you remember Tom's address?" you asked your driver.
He nodded, "Tom, eh?" you could hear the smirk in his voice.
"Oh, shut it." you chuckled before a graceful smile covered your features.
summary: tom's new love interest has you writing a new song.
{listen to girl crush by little big town (if you want) i put the link to harry styles' version}
a/n: can you tell i'm a harry stan?
wc: 1.4k
Ring! Ring! Ring!
"Hello?" you picked up your phone without looking at the caller ID.
"Y/N!" Zendaya's voice filled your ears.
You smiled and set down your guitar, "Hi, Daya. What's up? You're still in London?"
"Yeah, for a few more weeks. You haven't been on social media, have you?" she asked, ignoring your greeting.
You furrowed your eyebrows, "No, I've been writing all day. Why?"
She let out a long sigh, "Um, I'll send you the link to the article. I'm coming over with ice cream and vodka. See you soon. Love you." she ended the call quickly, leaving you confused.
Within seconds, a notification popped up on the top of your screen.
You knew that clicking on the link would only cause pain. You knew that most of these articles were utter bullshit that companies created to get views and clicks. But something about her name rang a bell in your mind.
Olivia Bolton.
She'd been a family friend of Tom's for a while. She works in digital production and recently graduated. Tom tried to drag you to her graduation, but you barely knew the girl and found it odd to go to her graduation ceremony.
You'd met her once or twice when you went to the pub with Tom and the boys and she happened to be there. She was kind to you. Asking about your life, saying she was a huge fan of your songs.
You usually knew all about Tom's love life. He'd come over and update you about new girls he thought were fit or a pretty woman that sat on the train next to him. But you were so focused on finishing your album that you barely had any time to talk to Tom. You were continuously writing song after song.
Tom knew that your career always came first, so when you stopped showing up at his house and your contact didn't come up on his screen, he knew you were deep into your work. And he respected that. You were his best friend after all.
And being his best friend was amazing, but it came with its challenges. Unspoken feelings. Your crush on Tom was known to everyone except Tom. You made it your mission to keep it secret. You valued your friendship with Tom too much to let silly feelings ruin your bond.
You were definitely regretting that decision right now. As you read the article, your heart seemed to fold into itself, a pathetic attempt to save itself from breaking.
"Tom is happy he was able to finally tell the world about her."
Could've given you a heads up.
"It's the real deal. Olivia and Tom have the blessing of their families, according to the source."
Fuck their blessings.
""All their friends and family think they make a lovely couple," they said. "He is totally smitten""
Not all of them.
As you dived further into the internet, trying to find out more about Olivia, you stumbled upon a series of pictures. Them at a bar? A party? Summer Time Hyde Park Festival.
You were supposed to go, but ultimately your guitar and piano kept you cooped up at home. You didn't know if you were glad that you didn't show up or if you wished you had thrown away the instruments and went to the festival.
Her arms were wrapped around his back. Touching him. Caressing him. Laughing with him. Holding his hand. Doing everything you wished you could.
You were so engrossed in the article, no noise could be heard in your home other than your heavy breathing and sniffles. You didn't know when the tears started, but you knew they weren't stopping anytime soon.
'I hate her' you thought to yourself. But you didn't. You couldn't. She hadn't done any wrong unto you. She was living the life you dreamed of. Holding the man you dreamed of.
With a final sniffle and huff, you threw your phone on your couch. Anger getting the best of you as you grabbed your guitar and sat up. Nothing makes for better songs than a broken heart.
You quickly pressed record on your abused phone before setting it down again. Mindlessly strumming the strings. Tears fogging your vision. Falling onto your lap and staining your grey joggers.
"Stop fucking crying, Y/N. God." you spoke to yourself.
You took a deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth.
"I got a girl crush. I hate to admit it, but I got a heart rush. It ain't slowing down. I got it real bad. Want everything she has. That smile and that midnight laugh, she's giving you now." you sang so softly, you didn't even know if your phone could pick it up.
He's probably kissed her and held her and cuddled with her. Ran his hands through her hair. Whispered cheeky comments in her ear to make her blush. You knew your own thoughts were sabotaging you, but they were true.
"I want to taste her lips. Yeah, 'cause they taste like you. I want to drown myself in a bottle of her perfume. I want her long blonde hair."
Her stupid blonde hair.
"I want her magic touch. Yeah, 'cause maybe then you'd want me just as much. And I've got a girl crush. I've got a girl crush."
Maybe it was your mind's sad effort at denying your feelings for Tom. You didn't have a crush on him, you had a crush on her. She was what you wanted. You wanted her.
No, you wanted to be her.
"I don't get no sleep."
Not after this.
"I don't get no peace. Thinking about her under your bedsheets. The way that she's whispering. The way that she's pulling you in. Lord knows I've tried, can't get her off of my mind."
You sang through the chorus again. Tears cascading down your cheeks. If someone were to walk in, they'd definitely think you were mentally unstable. And maybe you were.
You knew that as long as they were together, you wouldn't be able to rest. Your head would create scenarios of them. Egging you on. Testing you. Pushing you to your limit.
You finished the song and faded out the guitar. Carelessly tossing it to the side and ending the voice note. Burying your head in your hands and letting your sobs ring out around the house. Your throat hurt from all the pressure being put on it, but you couldn't care less. Any makeup you had on, washed away with you tears. Discarded on your floor.
You knew this day would come. The day where Tom found someone. His person. His source of happiness that wasn't you. You prepared yourself for this day, but not to this extent. You couldn't have prepared yourself for the bombarding of photographs on your screen or the articles that romanticized their night out. Almost shoving it in your face that you weren't the one with him.
You weren't the one getting drinks with him. Holding hands with him. Laughing about his stupid jokes. That wasn't your job anymore. It wasn't your place. And it was a hard pill to swallow, but Zendaya knew the remedy.
"Y/N?" she let herself in with her spare key.
A bottle of vodka and tubs of ice cream in her hands, as promised. She set the contents down on your kitchen island before making her way over to you. Your cries hadn't subsided. Still vibrating through your body. Ripping open your throat. Abusing your vocal chords, stinging your eyes.
She didn't say anything for a while, she just held you because that's what you needed. A shoulder to cry on, a friend to rant to. Tom couldn't be that person anymore. Her hands rubbed up and down your back, painfully bringing your mind back to the pictures of them.
After what seemed like hours, your sobs grew quieter. Tears still fell, but no noise left your mouth. You harshly wiped at your eyes and threw yourself back on the couch. Hiccups escaping your lips.
Zendaya sent you a sad smile, "Vodka or ice cream?" she passed you a tissue.
You let out a pitiful attempt at a laugh before grabbing the offering, "Vodka and ice cream, please."
summary: during an interview for your new film, tom exposes your odd routine during intimate scenes and your favourite flower.
a/n: i got carried away. there's a lot going on in here. enjoy?
wc: 2.6k
"Hello! I'm Adrien Fox with Pop Sugar and we are here with stars of the new film 'Week Off', Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N!" Adrien introduced you and Tom to the cameras.
You and Tom gave little waves, "Hello!"
"Now, let's get right into it."
Adrien began asking generic questions while you tried your best to prevent any spoilers from leaving Tom's lips.
"Can you explain the movie a bit to anyone who is unfamiliar with the book or hasn't watched the trailer?"
Tom opened his mouth to speak before closing it, "I think I'll let Y/N do that."
Adrien laughed before you spoke, "Yeah, um. It's basically a comedy with a little rated R content. Some romance, but mostly raunchy and hilarious stuff. It follows the employees in this law firm and their vacation away from work. Lots ensues during said trip including relationships, arguments and too much drinking."
"And you guys worked with many famous actors and actresses in this film. Like, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Anne Hathaway, Zendaya, Chris Hemsworth, Kevin Hart, Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum and The Rock. How was working with that many iconic people in the industry? You guys are obviously incredibly well known as well, but I imagine some of these people were your idols growing up." Adrien asked and you and Tom nodded.
"Yeah, uh, yeah. It was an honour. Absolutely amazing. Like, I never imagined I'd be making films, let alone films with stars like Kevin Hart and Emma Stone, you know? I'm just really proud of this one and I love everyone who we worked on it with." Tom gave his answer making you nod.
You cleared your throat, "Yeah, Zendaya is my best friend and she has been for years, long before this movie came along, but I still got so excited about working with her. Jennifer Lawrence is amazing, so hilarious. You put her and Chris into a room together and it's just comedy central." you laughed with Tom at the memory.
"We've seen in the trailer that you two share many intimate and – may I say – risqué scenes in this film. Was it hard to keep that level of professionalism and friendship while shooting those scenes?"
You let out a little chuckle at the question before Tom rubbed his chin and spoke, "Since Y/N and I are already good friends off screen, I thought it would be awkward filming those scenes, but Y/N does this weird handshake after every take and it wasn't awkward 'cause it just made me laugh."
Adrien laughed a little before speaking, "What handshake?"
You shook your head with a smile as you recalled the first time you ever did the handshake with Tom.
"Ready, Holland?" you had your pyjamas on and were making your way to your mark in the set of your character's hotel room.
Tom nodded before following you in, cameras and crew hot on his heels, "Ready as I'll ever be."
He was shirtless. A pair of loose fitting grey shorts hung low on his waist. His costume for this scene as Niko Sai.
A black silk slip hung carelessly off of your frame. Ending at the middle of your thighs, v-neck dipping low on your chest. Your costume for Kora Patel.
"We're going to take it from Tom's line; 'You want me just as much as I want you'. Okay?" you and Tom gave a thumbs up, "Action!"
"You want me just as much as I want you. Everytime you sneak a glance at me and you think I don't see, but I do because I'm already looking at you, Patel." Tom walked behind you, looking at you through the mirror in front of you. "I don't blame you, I am incredibly good looking." he smirked to himself.
"I'm guessing you couldn't fit your shirt over your ginormous head?" you rolled your eyes.
Tom's smirk only grew, "Is that a little bit of drool on your mouth, Patel? Who knew the Kora Patel had a thing for Niko Sai? Oh, the Lord is good."
You rested your hands on the sink and leaned forward, "This is a useless conversation, Sai." you turned to face him, "I feel nothing for you. Don't you get that?"
He stepped closer to you and cupped your face in his palm, "Yes you do, you just don't want to." his face showed pain, all humour drained from his character.
You shook your head with a dry laugh, "You're only trying with me because it's convenient. The company's quiet little Kora Patel, right?"
He took another step towards you, holding your hip in a tight grip, "That's a lie. Nothing about us is convenient."
You chuckled before your hand flew to grasp his hair, tangling your fingers in his curls. Your other hand pressed against his pec. Nails tracing patterns on his skin. Tom's breath hitched along with yours as his body automatically drew closer to you.
You tightened your grip on his hair, "It is convenient because you know I keep to myself. You know that I won't go running my mouth about how long you last or if size really does matter. You know that I'm an easy one to fuck," you pulled him closer, "And toss aside, right, Sai?"
"No." Tom swallowed, "You're wrong, Patel."
You shrugged, "I can give you what you want," you ran your thumb across his bottom lip, "Physically." your eyes met his with heavy lids, "Not emotionally. That's why you need Remedy. Not me." your lips brushed his as you spoke, your voice just loud enough for the mics to pick up.
He leaned in and nearly kissed you before you pushed him away slightly by his chest, foreheads still touching, "Let me kiss you." he whispered, sounding so desperate that you nearly abandoned the script and pulled him into you.
You rolled your lips between your teeth, "And if I don't?" you raised an eyebrow, challenging him.
"I'll leave you alone. If that's what you want, I'll go and have a useless one night stand with a girl who could never measure up to you." he pulled your hips flesh against his, "But if you let me kiss you. I promise to show you how much I mean it when I say that I'll spend all night showering every inch of your body with the love it deserves." he brushed his lips against yours again before bringing his mouth to your ear, "Just say the word, darling, and I'm yours."
Your heavy breaths were the only things that could be heard besides the small sound of shuffling behind the cameras. Your eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips before you closed the distance and pushed your lips to his.
Fighting for dominancy, teeth clashing, hands roaming. Unscripted groans falling from Tom's lips as you tugged on his hair, running your fingers along his scalp. His hands gripped the bottom of your thighs before you jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist.
"I still hate you." you breathed against his lips as he kissed the corner of your mouth.
You felt him smirk, "You sure have a funny way of showing it."
He carried you to the bedroom, gently laying you down and climbing on top of you, never breaking the kiss. His hands running down your sides, squeezing and rubbing. Your lips moving in sync until he pulled away only to attach his lips to your jawline, leaving slow but hard kisses down your neck, leading to your collarbone.
"Still hate me?" Tom mumbled against your skin.
You let out a breathy moan, "More than ever."
"What do you hate about me, Patel?" he lifted up the bottom of your black slip.
"E-everything." you fake gasped as he rolled his hips into yours.
He laughed dryly, "Everything, huh? The noises you're making say otherwise."
"You're such a dick." you moaned.
He smirked against your breast, "You're about to take my—"
"—Don't finish that fucking sentence, Sai."
Soft moans fell from your lips as you wrapped your legs around his waist again and pulled him closer to you. He groaned against your skin as the cameras picked up every noise, every movement, every kiss. You ran your nails down his back, surely leaving marks in its wake. His grip on your hips was almost punishing, as if he wanted there to be bruises the next day.
"And cut! Great work, guys. Ten minute break and we'll shoot it again."
Tom immediately got off of you and sat to the side of the bed before looking at you with concern, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
You let out a laugh before shaking your head, "No, you didn't hurt me. Dap me up." you held out your hand and he stared confused.
"What you up?" he chuckled.
You smiled before lifting his hand and doing the movements for him, "Just like that." he finally got it down and smiled.
"You Americans are definitely odd." he teased.
You tossed him a wink as an assistant handed you a robe, "See you in ten, Holland."
"And that's the handshake. It's not really a handshake, more of a greeting. I just did it after our first intimate scene because Tom was acting weird and I didn't want things to be awkward." you explained with a shrug as Adrien and Tom laughed.
Tom nodded, "I thought I hurt her! So I asked if I did and all she said was 'dap me up', like, what?" he laughed with you.
"You guys have really great chemistry on and off screen." Adrien complimented making your cheeks heat up.
You nodded, "Thank you. It took a lot of work to break through his industrial ego." you joked with an exhausted sigh as Adrien laughed.
Tom gasped beside you, "I do not have an industrial ego!"
"Mhm, sure." you joked before reaching over and giving Tom's thigh a gentle squeeze, "I meant indestructible."
Tom huffed and crossed his arms, "This is bullying."
Adrien laughed again, "We have to talk about something," he started and you already knew what was coming, "Lots of fans have speculated that the romance on screen carries on off screen." he smirked.
You and Tom laughed nervously. Almost awkwardly.
The situations that you went through with Tom while filming definitely built your relationship with him and strengthened it. In all honesty, you didn't know if the feelings you had for him were reciprocated.
In Tom's head, he was adamant that you had no feelings for him beyond the big screen. Both of you were too timid to confess first. His feelings for you developed a few weeks into filming and since then have only gotten stronger as your friendship grew and you spent more time together.
The amount of times that this topic had been brought up today was tiring. Every answer was the same: "No, no. We're just really good friends."
You decided to joke around, "Honestly, I've asked Tom out at least twenty times and he keeps rejecting me." you pouted and sniffled.
Adrien let out a joyous laugh as Tom gasped and choked on air at your words.
"That is not true! She has never asked me out!" he defended himself.
You shook your head with a deep frown, "He's broken my heart too many times. This is probably my last time acting with him." you continued on with the joke.
Tom shook his head furiously, "That is one hundred percent false. If she had asked me out, we would already be dating." he let the words fall from his lips without a second thought.
You fought the instinct to snap your head towards him. His confession catching you off guard. You played it off with another pout and shrug. Unsure if he was joining in on the prank or not.
Adrien raised a suggestive eyebrow, "What I'm hearing is that Y/N just needs to ask you out and we have our new couple."
You fake gasped, "Why do I have to ask him out? He should be asking me out with a million roses and a horse drawn carriage." you flipped your hair over your shoulder.
"You don't even like roses." Tom laughed, "You like dandelions because they turn into those fluffy things that you can make a wish with." he remembered the information off of the top of his head, "And because it sounds like you're saying 'dandy lions' when you say their name."
You nodded with a smile, "A million dandelions then. And maybe I'll think about it." you joked with a yawn making the two men laugh.
"You heard it here first. We have a new couple on the rise. Tom just needs to find a million dandelions and a horse drawn carriage." Adrien laughed again.
Tom scoffed dramatically, "Find? I already have them in my garage, ready to go."
Adrien cheered as you felt a heat creep up your neck, "Did I say dandelions? I meant daisies."
"Got those, too." Tom smirked making you roll your eyes.
"Okay, we need to end this interview before Tom buys all the flowers in Berlin." you joked.
After the interview ended, you said your goodbyes to Adrien and the crew before you and Tom made your way back to your temporary hotel suite for the week of press junkets.
Tom walked you to your room, stopping at the door, "That was an odd interview." he chuckled.
You nodded, "Indeed. It was fun, though." you smiled and he returned the expression.
There was an awkward beat of silence before he spoke again, "T-that whole asking me out thing. You were kidding, right? Like, just a show for the cameras?" he laughed nervously.
You swallowed air before replying with a timid smile, "Y-yeah. Totally. Just for the fans." you nodded again, "Um, I should head to bed. More interviews tomorrow. See you in the morning." you gave him a little wave before turning to your door and pulling out your key.
He nodded with the smallest of pouts before turning on his heel and starting the walk back to his suite.
Just as your hand was turning the knob, Tom's voice called out to you again.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?" he spoke in one breath.
You bit your lip to conceal your smile, but it was no use. His question sparked a flame in your stomach that wasn't dying out anytime soon.
You turned with a bright grin, "I'd love to."
His features went from pure fright to relief in a matter of seconds, "G-great. I'll- uh, I'll text you the details. Goodnight." he gave you a little salute making you laugh.
"Sounds good. Night, Holland." you nodded your head before entering your hotel room.
You leaned against the door as soon as it shut. A euphoric glow radiating off of you. You were going on a date with Tom Holland.
Tom happily punched the air. Skipping down the hallway, a new found joy in his step. Chris Hemsworth walked out of his room and examined the gleeful boy.
"What's got you all smiley?" he chuckled.
Tom stopped and smiled, staring at the ceiling, "I just got myself a date."
Chris raised an impressed eyebrow before laughing, "You really are Peter Parker. Night, kid."
"Goodnight, Chris." Tom's smile never faded as he made his way back to his suite.
Not even ten minutes had gone by since he last spoke to you and he already missed you. He pulled out his phone and pressed on your contact.
Tom: sorry i didn't have any dandelions. hope you can make an exception x
Y/N: i suppose but the horse drawn carriage is a must x
summary: you're so close to finishing your second album when your manager pushes the deadline, your ex tom helps you write the final track.
{listen to someday by michael bublè and meghan trainor (if you want)}
wc: 2.1k
"Someday maybe when we're old and grey,"
"Yes, yes. I know. You are not being a very helpful manager right now, Noelle." you spoke to your phone as you paced around the living room, "Okay. I'll get working on it. Bye." you huffed and threw your phone against the couch.
Your album was due to be released in two months and you needed one more song to tie it all together. Your manager, Noelle, was pushing you to finish the song so she could start the promo of the album.
You were incredibly grateful for your career, but the pressure weighed down on you everyday. Never ending.
With a final groan you picked up your acoustic guitar and sat on the couch. Picking at the strings, trying to find a melody. You hit record on your voice memo app before strumming away.
"Someday maybe when we're old and grey, we can be in love once more. 'Till then I won't give my love away. Darling, I'm forever only yours." you sang softly.
You and Tom had a joyous relationship. A love that only ever existed in movies and fairytales. The type of love story that gets told for generations and onwards. But alas, all good things must come to an end.
Your breakup was calm, serene and clean. A mutual agreement as if your whole relationship had been a business deal. There were no loose ends or jealous passive aggressive remarks made. Just maturity and respect for one another.
Your pinky still held the promise ring he gave you. A token of appreciation. A reassurance that he'd always be there for you. And he lived up to his word.
Tom walked in and sat across from you, startling you, "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. Whatcha writing?"
"Need a final song for the album. Sorry for showing up unannounced. I just get better inspiration here, with all the memories, you know?" you timidly looked back down at the guitar.
Tom nodded, "No need to apologize. We gave you a spare key for a reason."
You couldn't stop yourself from spilling the words from your lips, "That was when we were together."
You could hear the awkward silence start to fill the room before he spoke again, "Still our best friend, Y/L/N."
The pain that crossed your features was instant. Being addressed by your last name felt like a stab to the gut. Especially by Tom.
You nodded before playing again, "Can I help you write it?" Tom asked as he sat next to you.
"Dancer, gymnast, actor and now songwriter. How many hidden talents have you got, Holland?" you teased making him laugh.
He shrugged with a smile, "It's kind of like writing a poem, right?"
You pondered on his analogy before slowly nodding, "Yeah, it kind of is. Give it a go."
You began playing the melody and he listened intently for a few moments before singing, "I love seeing you happy. I miss seeing that smile. It's been such a long time. A– Nope. Nope. Nuh-uh. I can't do it." he shook his head aggressively with a loud laugh as you stopped playing.
"No!" you quickly protested, "That was amazing! Don't leave me hanging, c'mon." you nudged him with your shoulder before strumming again.
"Alright, alright." he ran his hands down his face, "And although I don't have you, I know now that I need to?" he paused and gave you a skeptical look before you nodded again, "Somehow make you mine. Mmm."
"Oh, okay. He's giving ad-libs and all. Get it." you nodded as he laughed.
You were so engrossed on Tom actually writing a song with you that you didn't focus on the lyrics he was singing.
"And I won't lie, it's hard seeing you with him 'cause I know he can't hold you like I can." his mood seemed to drop by a thousand as the words left his lips.
"When can we meet this boyfriend of yours?" Harrison flicked your forehead from across the booth.
You, Harrison, Tom and Tuwaine were all sat in the local pub. Pints of beer in front of each of you as loud music and chatting filled your ears.
You shrugged, "He's picking me up, so possibly tonight."
Tuwaine's eyes lit up, "Fina-fucking-lly. I swear you've kept him hidden for years."
"We've only been together for three months, T." you laughed lightly with the group of boys.
And they met him. It wasn't the smoothest of introductions, but an introduction nonetheless.
"Boys, this is Kai. Kai this is Tom, Harrison and Tuwaine." you gestured to the parties as they all shook hands and gave polite greetings.
"So," Harrison started, "What do you do for a living, Kai?"
Kai cleared his throat, "I'm a Senior Resident at Kingston Hospital. Working towards being Head of Pediatrics."
Tuwaine and Harrison both nodded, impressed by his profession. Tom's face remained expressionless as he stared at Kai with cold eyes.
"Do you have any siblings, Kai? Any psycho ex-girlfriends? Any wacky cousins?" Tuwaine joked making everyone laugh. "'Cause Y/N has a lot of wacky cousins."
"We could be in love once more,"
"Hey!" you gasped with a laugh.
Kai pulled you closer to him as he laughed, "No, no wacky cousins or psycho exes, but I do have an older sister and a younger brother."
This game of ask and answer continued on for a few more minutes. Tom didn't say a word, just sipped his beer and burned holes into Kai with his eyes. If looks could kill, Kai would be six feet under.
Kai was a sweetheart, but you two ended ages ago. His work got too much for him and your job had you touring and travelling every second.
You picked up after him with the chorus before diving into your own verse, "I remember that love song. I sang every word wrong, but you didn't mind, no, no."
"I love the things you do. It's how you do the things you love. Well it's not a love song, not a love song. I love the way you get me, but correct me if I'm wrong. This is not a love song, not a love song!" Tom belted the 'Austin & Ally' song from the top of his lungs.
"Your turn!" he pointed the pretend mic in your direction.
You laughed, not knowing any of the lyrics, but still wanting to participate, "I love that you not a licket! And you own a watch and chicken! We got a car!" you sang with full confidence, making Tom burst with laughter.
"Yes! Sing it, darling!" he cheered you on, "Absolutely butchering the lyrics, but sing it!"
"Being stuck inside a car. If it's not a doe, don't kiss it! I can't hear a missing, when there's a shoe inside the ceiling! If you really need to fart, you can lunch on a pig farm! Love song! Love song!" you couldn't even hear the song in the background, your voice overpowering it.
Tom was hunched over from laughing before he came back up and planted a soft kiss on your lips, "You are one hundred percent ridiculous and I love it."
You brought yourself back to reality and sang again, "And I'll admit that I miss you, but only if you do. 'Cause you know that I'm shy. And I can't lie, it's hard seeing you with her. 'Cause I know she can't love you like I can."
Tom's eyes met yours as the words fell from your gentle lips. His mouth was slightly agape as you continued to strum.
"You are absolute rubbish. Imagine coming in eighth. Embarassing." you laughed as you crushed Harrison in a game of Mario Kart.
He shoved you with his shoulder, "You're such a try ha—"
"—It's always the same, Tom! How can I trust you? You follow gorgeous models on Instagram and expect me to trust you?" Nadia's voice cut Harrison's words off.
You looked at him with wide eyes, his expression matching yours.
"Those women that I follow have been my friends for ages. Who I follow on a stupid app shouldn't effect how much you trust me."
You paused the game, cutting off the theme song, "How long have they been fighting like this?"
Harrison sighed, a long groan following, "A few weeks. I think it started when she saw that he liked your Instagram picture?"
You stammered, "M-my post? She got mad about my post?"
Harrison nodded before opening his mouth to speak, but Nadia cut him off again, "And she practically lives here! How do you think it makes me feel seeing my boyfriend play house with a superstar?!"
"Aw, a superstar? I'm flattered." you joked making Harrison stifle a laugh.
"I've been friends with Y/N since we were in nappies!"
"I can't be with you if you're going to be friends with her."
Your laughter abruptly died at her words. Harrison stiffened beside you.
"Y-you can't be serious. You can't make me choose between you and her."
"Why? Because you're gonna choose her?" you could hear her voice crack.
"I-" Tom couldn't make out a sentence for a few moments, "Yeah. I'm gonna choose her."
Your heart fell from it's place, stopping at your feet. Harrison brought a hand to his mouth, "H-he chose you. He chose you!" he whisper shouted before you shushed him.
"Of course. I don't know why I expected anything different. I think I'll be going now." Nadia's footsteps approached the living room.
You and Harrison scrambled to look as if you weren't eavesdropping on their argument/breakup.
Tom followed close behind her, "I'm sorry. I really am."
She nodded, hand on the doorknob, "I know. Goodbye." she stepped out of the house, slamming the front door shut in the process.
Tom let out a breath of relief before turning to you and Harrison who were staring at the Mario Kart home screen with the infamous tune playing.
"You guys are terrible actors."
"'Till then I won't give my love away,"
"I'm forever only yours." the both of you finished the song in unison.
There was a moment of silence before you reached over and ended the voice recording.
"T-that was really good. You can change what I wrote, I know it isn't as good as anything you would've written, but I tried. And it was actually pretty fun and I never knew how difficult songwriting was un—"
"—Kiss me." you cut Tom's rambling off.
His eyes grew wide, "W-wha—"
"—Kiss me, Holland."
He swallowed, a small smile stretching on his lips, "Thank God."
And with that, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. Interlocking like missing puzzle pieces. Moving in sync like waves in the ocean. Soft and sweet, but filled with passion. You could feel his smile against your lips causing you to grin.
His hand came up to pull your face closer into his. Caressing your jaw, fingertips playing with the hairs on the back of your neck. His other hand holding your hip in a tight grip. Pressing the pads of his digits into your flesh, scared that you might slip through his fingers again.
One of your hands was pressed flat against his chest. Steadying yourself, the heat of the kiss threatening to throw you off of your axis. Your other hand tangled itself into Tom's curls. Pulling and tugging lightly causing small groans to fall from Tom's lips. Your fingernails scratching his scalp. Pulling him impossibly closer to you.
"I want my ten pounds." Harrison's voice snapped you and Tom out of your make out session.
Him and Tuwaine stood in the doorway, shit eating grins on their faces.
Tuwaine laughed before placing a ten pound note in Harrison's palm, "You guys couldn't have waited until next month to get back together?"
"You two were betting on us?" Tom laughed at his mates who nodded.
You shook your head with a smile, "Absolute idiots, all of you."
Harrison let out a happy sigh and pocketed the money, "Today was a good day. Had a sick ass shoot. Got ten pounds. And my best friends are finally together again." he waltzed into the kitchen with Tuwaine, leaving you and Tom alone again.
Tom's shy expression met your gleeful one before he spoke, "Someday came a lot sooner than expected, huh?" he chuckled.
You nodded with a laugh, "It certainly did and I am not complaining."
He sent you a wide grin before cupping your face and connecting your lips to his again.
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summary: you bump into tom on a late night liquor store run.
a/n: not my favourite one ive written. might delete later, but i felt the need to post something for y'all while i work on better ones.
wc: 1.2k
You picked up a bottle of Chardonnay. Twisting it around, examining it before shrugging and dropping it into your basket that hung carelessly off your arm.
Your basket was filled with different brands of Tequila; Roca Patrón, Casa Dragones, Herradura. Vodka bottles of varying flavours; lemon, apple, peach. Accompanied by small vodka sodas and two or three bottles of wine.
To anyone who cared to sneak a glance, you'd either seem like an eighteen-year-old who just became legal or a raging alcoholic. Neither were true, but you definitely leaned more towards raging alcoholic. A twenty-three-year-old woman, spending her whole pay check on liquor at nearly one a.m. on a Tuesday night.
If the contents in your arms wasn't enough to tell people that you were having a rough day, your attire surely sealed the deal. Purple fluffy socks, covered by your Nike slides. Black sweatpants with a small spiderweb on the back left pocket and a red hoodie that was ten sizes too big; it really completed the outfit. Your hair rested in a messily done bun on top of your head, as if you had rented out the space to a family of seagulls.
You double checked the alcohol you had collected before noticing that you forgot to grab beer. With a sigh, you made your way to the aisle that stored all the varieties of beer in the world. Your hand hovered over the pack of Guinness then went to the Budlight before you dropped it back to your side and stared for a while longer.
Your mind was so focused on the selections, you didn't notice the brunette boy at the other end of the aisle. But he noticed you.
"Stella Artois is my favourite." his voice startled you, making you jump and whip your head towards the sound.
With a hand over you heart, you spoke, "Jesus."
He let out a low chuckle, "Didn't mean to scare you, sorry."
You shook your head, "No, it's alrigh—"
Your sentence got cut off when you recognized the face of the man. The chocolate curls, the lopsided smile, the defined jaw. Tom Holland.
"Hey, you're Tom Holland." you pointed out and silently cursed yourself for saying it.
He nodded with a smile, "Indeed, darling."
"Sorry. You just have a very.." you trailed off, "Recognizable face?"
You wished the ground would swallow you whole as he let out another joyous laugh at your words.
"I'll take that as a compliment?" he asked more than stated.
You nodded, "Yeah, please do?"
"I'm guessing there's a party being held?" he gestured to your basket of liquor.
You contemplated on being truthful. It'd definitely save your dignity if you said there was a party, but then again, you'd never see this man after this. What's the harm in telling the truth?
"Nope. No party." you lifted the basket a bit, "Just a lot of exams coming up."
"Exams? You're in University?" he asked.
"Medical school."
He nodded with an impressed expression, "Which school?"
"UCL."
"Impressive. And binging on alcohol is part of your study routine?" he smirked.
You chuckled, "It's a necessity. Sorry, I've been completely rude. How are you?"
Your question caught him off guard. Usually fans would ask for a picture and a hug before leaving. He rarely got asked about himself if it didn't involve his dating life or a new film.
"I'm doing well. Yourself?" you noticed how he had slowly moved closer to you.
"I'm doing good. Can I ask what you're doing here at," you checked your phone, "One in the morning?"
He held up his basket of beers, "House was empty."
You nodded in understanding, "Well, this has been lovely. It was great meeting you. I should really get home now." you turned to walk away, but his voice called you back.
"Would you like a picture?"
You quickly shook your head, "No, um. Phone is dead. I really wish." the pathetic lie rolled off your tongue before you could help it.
He looked at you with a raised eyebrow, "I just saw you check your phone, darling."
You mentally cursed yourself for your inability to lie on the spot, "Yeah. Um. It, like, just died?"
He smirked his beautiful smirk again, "That's fine. We can take one on my phone." he began to pull out his phone before you quickly stopped him.
"No, no, no. Really, it's fine. Wouldn't want to take up space in your camera roll."
You were not prepared to be photographed. Not in the outfit you were in. Not with a basket filled with alcohol by your side. He could not have caught you at a worse time.
"Nonsense. C'mon." he held his phone up and his arm out, waiting for you to join him by his side.
"I'm really not dressed...appropriately?" you tried to reason but even you knew the excuse was pitiful.
He let out a light laugh, his eyes crinkling, "I think you look stunning. And I won't post it anywhere. C'mere." he still had his arm outstretched as he complimented you.
With a silent grumble, you dragged your feet towards him before plastering on a smile and he took the photo.
"I'll send it to you. Here, put in your number." he handed you his phone and you stared at it dumbfounded.
"My what now?"
He chuckled at you, "Your number, darling. Unless that died, too?"
You shook your head with a smile before punching in your number.
"Give me a second." he took his phone back and within seconds your phone started ringing.
You froze with wide eyes before scrambling to shut off the ringer. When you looked back up you were met with his lopsided grin.
"Now you have my number. And I didn't know phones could ring while dead." he laughed lightly as you felt heat creep up your neck.
"Yeah, mine does that sometimes. Better get it fixed." you quickly saved Tom's number in your phone.
'tom mf holland wtf'
"Y/N. A gorgeous name for a gorgeous girl." he looked at the contact name above your number before sending you a sly grin.
You felt the heat rise from your neck to your cheeks, "Thank you."
"Not a problem, darling. Although, I think I have a nickname for you already." he looked back down at his phone and began typing.
'liquor store girl'
You laughed quietly, "It fits." you sent him a smile before checking your phone again, "I really should get going. It was lovely meeting you. Don't forget to send me that photo!" you waved before walking out of the aisle and towards the cash registers.
You must've looked like a madman. Messy hair, sweats and a hoodie. Socks and slides. Good God. Your anxiety was all over the place. Your fight or flight response kicked in for some odd reason and your body chose flight. What the hell?
Tom stayed in the same spot for a few moments. Smiling at your phone number and the messy locks he could see poking up from behind the shelves. His thoughts were interrupted by your footsteps.
You quickly ran back to the aisle and grabbed the pack of Stella Artois, "Almost forgot."
He smiled at you and nodded as you turned to walk away again.
You were definitely on his mind all night as you both stayed up talking till the sun shone through your curtains.
summary: i wanted to do a little something where it just shows tom's posts on instagram about you. you are played by nailea devora bc she's gorgeous and so are you. enjoy muah.
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by zendaya, lifeisaloha and others
tomholland2013 absolutely gorgeous... weather we're having
View all 32,467 comments
hazosterfield OH SHITTT
zendaya u stole my gf wtf
jakegyllenhaal I'm sending the divorce papers. Have your lawyers ready. I am heartbroken.
May 23, 2019
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by robertdowneyjr, zendaya and others
tomholland2013 just realized how hard im punching
View all 48,549 comments
harryholland64 yeah idk how you got her
y/ny/l/n i'll never understand your british slang
anthonymackie It sounds like abuse to me
June 27, 2019
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by harryholland64, lifeisaloha and others
tomholland2013 my wallpaper is better than yours
View all 23,567 comments
y/ny/l/n when my wallpaper is harry styles..
zendaya dude, you stole my wallpaper
jakegyllenhaal You-you replaced me?
July 14, 2019
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by anthonymackie, hazosterfield and others
tomholland2013 proof that my jokes can make people laugh
View all 36,712 comments
samholland1999 think she was laughing at your face but ok
anthonymackie Don't worry Y/N, I called 911 and they are on their way
tuwaine this is officially a y/n fanpage
August 23, 2019
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by jakegyllenhaal, zendaya and others.
tomholland2013 if i don't post after this it's because she killed me but look how cute she is after her dentist appointment
View all 64,385 comments
y/ny/l/n i- you are a dead man holland
lifeisaloha HAHSHAAH everyone is invited to tom's funeral
tuwaine we will be taking donations for y/n's bail
September 10, 2019
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by hazosterfield, zendaya and others
tomholland2013 she makes saw look good
View all 21,732 comments
y/ny/l/n scared him shitless this morning
zendaya my girlfriend is so hot
hazosterfield are we still going trick or treating?
October 31, 2019
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by chrisevans, samholland1999 and others
tomholland2013 when she wears my hoodie better than me. unacceptable
View all 42,143 comments
y/ny/l/n you rock my tank tops all day
chrisevans She was looking at me in this
imsebastianstan No she was looking at me
November 16, 2019
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by lifeisaloha, anthonymackie and others
tomholland2013 merry christmas from me and m'lady. hope everyone has a splendid holiday time! much love x
View all 51,218 comments
dommoholland Merry Christmas to my son and future daughter-in-law!
nikkihollandphotography Beautiful picture! I wonder who took it. Love you guys lots xx
y/ny/l/n merry christmas to my lover and my future in-laws x
December 25, 2019
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by hazosterfield, lifeisaloha and others
tomholland2013 we hope everyone is staying safe during crazy times like this. wear your masks! xx
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zendaya keep my girlfriend safe holland
robertdowneyjr Stay safe kiddos!
tuwaine she looks very disgusted with you
March 21, 2020
tomholland2013 ✓
Liked by anthonymackie, dommoholland and others
tomholland2013 my angel graduated uni today! unbelievably proud of you, darling xx
View all 75,326 comments
lifeisaloha congrats y/n!
hazosterfield always knew she was the smart one. good job y/l/n
y/ny/l/n thank you, lover xx
anthonymackie I went to Juilliard, but yeah. Congratulations Mrs. Holland!
