Chemical Pink

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Safety Zone

You've been having some difficult times, but know that they're coming to an end. There's a light at the end of the tunnel–a safety zone of yours– you're improving, you're getting better. You might have had a patch of behaving out of character, but know that by sticking up for your responsibility in the actions you've taken, is how you're able to heal, to regain your peace and Receive the universe's blessings.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ The Astronaut

My dearest creative souls, you might be stuck right now and have a liking towards feeling like you need to isolate yourself–like the astronaut himself– perhaps you've recently had a disagreement which at the time you thought best to be right rather than understanding what the other side was trying to convey. Remember that having good things come to you is all about receiving what is of the highest good for all.

₊˚⊹ ᰔAmygdala

You're reaching your limits, and in danger of burning out, so remember to pace yourself, and introduce some joy and calmness into your situation so that you can change the vibrational frequency of the things that are happening around you. Breathe– take some time to plan your long-term goals and plan things out.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Face-Off

It's okay not to be okay. Having fear of change is only human, not knowing where you're going isn't a sign of weakness, take some time to reset your goals, and know that when you merge your desires with faith in yourself, you are able to take action from a place of peace rather than one that comes from control.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Closer

Remember to dispose of everything that isn't serving you. Overthinking may be your worst enemy at this time, so don't hesitate to rely on others who are willing to help you towards your success, honour your ancestry during this time and connect with the community that is around you, you might find guidance, direction and great wisdom that will make you walk forward.

₊˚⊹ ᰔSomebody

Nothing is set in stone. Timed of grief are meant to happen, we gain forces from them and let go, become stronger. All difficult moments pass because they're not here to stay, you're regaining forces even if you've fallen down and you will rise again, bringing you more than whatever you thought you needed.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ For Us

A few months into it, as a last year International Relations student on my way to law school, and with a bit of sleep deprived courage, I applied for an internship at BH online, not expecting much since I barely knew Korean and was most definitely stuck at home in a whole different continent. But things surprisingly worked out, I didn't get paid at all but it was a great learning experience. BH became HB and I got to experience that from the inside, my day went like this: school from 7am to 5 pm and work from 9pm to 3am (sometimes more)

I obviously never got to work directly with any idols, my work was merely global and very much law related. Customs, contracts, negotiations with international enterprises. When the lockdown was done with, I was asked to move and become a permanent worker of theirs, so I did. However, it involved a lot of moving around so I wasn't exactly based anywhere and living costs are quite a thing. During this time I was also profiling myself as a diplomat, so it was in all of our best interests that I became outsourced.

Which brings us to a timeline closer to the present, the person that was in charge of contacting me for the gigs that I used to do for them suddenly quit and while I'm sure they were doing whatever was best for them, left me fending for myself during may-june. I came back home with my parents during june-july and networked for a bit– at least enough to regroup my possibilities so during august-september I was allowed to staff and collaborate (on a lower level) on some big concerts/tours.

During this time however (july-september) I was mostly reliant on my parents and coincidentally, their work slowed down by a lot. The rather small amount of money I got from working here and there was spent on my medical treatment (during july my doctor let me know that I needed to get diagnosed properly for lupus and by august my treatment costs were up by a lot) I tried picking up freelance tutoring (a pain, truly) and other small hustles that didn't require me to tire myself out too much since most of my days I spent aching all over, while also caring for my mother who had to have an emergency glaucoma surgery.

Oh and I cried and felt miserable during my birthday so.

I believe that's where we are at. I can't exactly get a job since I need to apply to an unpaid internship in order to graduate law school but I can't apply for an internship because one of my teachers just suddenly decided to fail me in their class (which means I need to pass it first) so I try to get by with small, low commitment hustles and now I'm picking up more seriously my ko-fi content. Which is why, I haven't been on here.

Those damned retrogrades hit me good ngl.

I do want to say though, I am not in a state of emergency, however, I am not living comfortably, but I'm trying my best to pick myself up and be nice to myself with the decisions I make and actions I take by the minute. While also trying to save up to go visit my 17 year old sister that has just moved away to study medicine.

I am grateful for what I have and I cherish you all that have remained close to me (even in this infinite nothingness that is the internet) and I hope you've been treating yourselves kindly during this time. If you'll have me, let's navigate the rest of the year together.