Tanche

been such a long time since i last blogged

life updates:

got into my first choice college on the most minimum credits, private educational institutions are my saviors, im going in august, so far ive got like 6 friends whom are either already in that college/uni or going in august like me, i need to network MORE

my dad owes me a lot of money, 1,500 for the house bills, 700 for my college application fee, 300 for hostel application fee, 1,700+ for the hostel deposit. he says he's gonna pay me back in july, we'll see about that

F also owes me about 500 bucks, plus 200 more because i did her college assignment

met some nice and bad arab guys on an omegle dupe with Jungabunga, nice ones include Omar A, Mustafa, Handsome Moroccan, Egyptian med-student, Niro the rapper, and Ahmed i guess. bad ones include Omar B (who i dont talk to anymore) and Joseph (Niro's friend)

Ralph Lauren is not over me. still claims that we dated, still claims that i was obsessed with him, still claims that he was nonchalant about me allegedly wanting him, smh Ralph

A significant amount of men have entered my life compared to my loser years (2017-2022), like those whom i can actually talk to without panic, Omar A, Shacho, Qatari ex-footballer, Gay guy from reddit, Emre, Aimrane, Majima, and E i guess? i have Jungabunga to thank for the improvement of my social skills and the unlocking of my hidden charisma (or rizz)

F has broken up with E sometime before she started college (around april), its like seeing parents divorce or your fictional ships fall apart. but im happy for her for being free from a toxic relationship (even though SHE's the toxic one [she said so herself too])

right now, i suspect that Omar A and Shacho like me, theyre either glazing me (too much) genuinely or just playboys, orrrrr my trust issues are too severe (caused by ms. public enemy no.1). but there's no way right? the words that they used to glaze me are far beyond platonic level. im not a delusional person. ive even consulted with third party analysts (my friends) as well, they all agree that these two like me. it seems my rizz has only now awaken (late 2025 - 2026[now])

speaking about Shacho, he wrote a google review on my workplace just a few days ago, heres what he wrote: "The management trainee is the baddest girl and so kawaii, Im glad that i got to talk to her and even get her phone number today. 10/10 I will take her out to coffee." he also logged into his ≈4 alt accounts to go like that one review, plus 2 more likes from my friend (?) and me. he also wrote a review for D'kash's gas station: "The cashier lady was really nice and the admin was actually really cute, like no joke she even gave me a discount on my petrol its crazy, bro i was like really happy and it made my year. I hope they dont get fired for being too nice!" but didnt go back to like that one. see how undelusional i am???

i broke up with the greek, kinda dumped him, lowkey miss him sometimes because he was a nice suburban white american boy, i feel bad leaving him during his stressful SATs times, the relationship wasnt gonna work anyway, we fell in love too quick and didnt even have the chance to become friends first, therefore there wasnt much to talk about. F got more emotional than me when i told her about the break up, which is quite sweet, she was ugly crying in public too

dude, since late december till two days ago, ive been lowkeynuinely depressed. i felt guilty for wanting to play games, asking my parents for things, wanting to dye my hair, wanting to learn a new piece on guitar

what's the cause of this? my igcse results. dude omg i knew i wasnt gonna get enough credits for a foundation program in college. so i set a diploma program as my goal which requires less credits. interestingly, i found out about diploma programs from ms. public enemy no. 1, can you believe that? she was all like "im going for diploma in graphic and and multimedia design and it only needs this much credits to get in and it doesnt require math" and blah blah blah, well i dunno if shes still going for this program, i dont care anyway, but this discovery of diploma programs unlocked a new backup plan for me, a new pathway, so i gotta partially thank her for this

on 15th january of this year, it was the results day, i was the MOST gloomy on this day because i was so scared that i might not get enough credits or not pass math😭. even more scared of other people's disappointment and pity in me. i thought my dad would yell at me and throw me out of the house, that my mom would cry out of disappointment, that my classmates will look down on me, that my grandpa (who gave me a job) will deem me unworthy of his care and love, that my colleagues will think im just a stupid nepobaby, that my friends will pity me. oh my god it was so overwhelming i got like a migraine

when my mom came to pick me up after work, i expected her to be disappointed or hand me my results slip, but NO, she didnt even know about my results being out, she just asked me if i wanted pasteries. it was a relief but not a BIG relief, because i thought maybe my dad is waiting for me to come home and yell at me...?

i texted my ex-class teacher for the results slip and she said that it was already emailed to me, like seriously? ive been edging myself from my results unknowingly? damn. but anyway, i checked the results and...

HOLY SHIT, OH MY JESUS HAHAHAHAHA I WAS SO HAPPY. dude i PASSED MATH, i CANNOT believe it oh my god. so now i have enough credits for a diploma program. an A in english, a C in maths, a C in economics. actually im a little disappointed in my economics marks because in mock-exams, my teacher said that my answers were precise and straightforward heh! but then again, i didnt study for ANY of my igcse exams, crazy right? its just that i really cant fix my procrastination. WHATEVER! a credit is a credit!!! WOOHOO!!! oh my god i actually have a future holy shit this is so good.

when i first saw my scores, i was still in the car with my mom, but i didnt tell her. im very reserved with my feelings. anyway when i got home, my dad didnt know the results were out too, so i went upstairs and celebrated myself. i was so happy, i mean i still am. people congratulated me, even my math teacher. PHEW! biggest relief of my life. NEVER again am i gonna procrastinate like that

anyway, i also got my first paycheck. so i am now a thousandaire. i can finally buy things online without having to use cash on delivery, yuck!

dude, my grandpa, aka my boss, aka ceo of the company, has been unusually nice to me today

at lunch i was just minding my own business, eating while watching dantdm play minecraft, then HR lady came up to my desk and gave me two plastic bags of food, she said "your gongong (grandpa) buy for you, he want you to eat this!", i was like huhhh???. one bag had like 4 oranges, the other had a lot of cha siu bao, which are my absolute favorite food in the whole wide world!!! but i did not eat what he bought for me because i brought my own lunch to work. afterwards my grandpa came back to the office and he asked "did HR lady give you to food that i bought you?", i said yeah" and he was like "its pork, all that right there is pork, pork is very good." and i was like "yeah, yep, okay", like bro there are MUSLIMS in here😭, calm down gramps. and as always he tells me to drink more water

okay now sometime after lunch, back to work aka sit and rot in eaglecraft. malay coworker came to me and put airpod pros and two other iphone adapters on my desk, she said "your grandpa is giving these to you", like WHAT, what did i do to have such a good fate? does buddha think ive been a good person??? and then lady who reminds me of my highschool history teacher came over to check out my new gifts, and started talking/gossiping(?... not really) about my grandpa, malay coworker said that apparently my grandpa bought all these things online but didnt remember buying them so hes giving it to me???😭 they were both surrounding me and asking me to test the airpods, alas... the battery was at 0% so they went away. and THEN, chinese lady sitting next to me was curious about my gifts too and started asking about my new airpods, asking to take a look, blah blah blah, i dont mind. i hope she doesnt think that im spoiled for reacting so nonchalantly to my grandpa's spending on me, its just that hes never done this before, never gifted me anything, im just quite shocked that he cares about me and thinks of me, and also! this lightwork-no-reaction was because i was quite skeptical on whether or not the airpods are even authentic knowing that he bought them online, and i know how old people always get scammed online, i had no plugs to charge it at the time, so i couldnt know, so i went to rot in reddit for research to detect the fake. but now that im back home, i can tell you that... THEYRE REAL!!! omg i can believe it... my iphone recognized the airpods almost immediately, thank life and luck

maybe its because i was very nice to him on friday. we were in thailand for my maternal grandpa(my phaw)'s funeral service, he wanted to come too, cuz idk? rich people like to show respect to get respect. at the same time, his leg hurt pretty bad, he was struggling to walk with ease. my dad told me to walk at his pace, and i did. my grandpa caught up to me and grabbed onto my arm like i was a walking cane. i enjoyed it, i dont mind neither/either(?🙄), i walked him everywhere half the day. there was a thai massage service at the temple where the funeral was taking place, so he went. when he came back, i asked him "how was the massage?", he said "it was good, no pain at all". now why is this significant? because! ive never asked him a question in my life, ive never ever tried to make small talk with him, all my life, i let him do all the talking, it seems rude but this is what im talking about when i say "i used to be very very shy", see? it applies to relatives too. i was happy that we're getting along, getting comfortable

anyway anyway! yesterday, Jungabunga was asking everybody in our groupchat "anyone wanna get car license with me? im booking the spots", now the thing about Jungabunga is that shes very persuasive, shes got endless pros to combat endless cons, she is a natural leader, a great skill ive noticed of her since we were little, thats why she does so good in debate club. i said i'll ask my dad tomorrow. today IS that tomorrow, i was gonna ask him in the morning when he was driving me to work, i got scared. then i had another chance to ask him when he took me outta work to take me to the bank to open my bank account, i was a coward again. then FINALLY i did it! he was talking to me about debit/credit cards and my grandpa, he was in a good mood, so i shoot my shot

"can i go to driving school...?" "go to what?" "can i go to driving school?" "caaannn"

i was in disbelieve, seriously??? did i hear this wrong??? was he saying "can" or "can't"??? so i asked:

"can???" "can."

why was i so scared to ask? because he ALWAYS had cons to combat my pros. dude i thought he was gonna say shit like "no, i can teach your myself" or "thats too expensive, we can do it ourselves", i mean he DID say that the price was crazy, but i learnt the art of persuasion from Jungabunga, observed over many years....😚

i was/am really bored at work today and im like lowkey highkey mediumkey sleep deprived because ive been playing minecraft past midnight and watching reels afterwards, so my average doze-zone is 1 to 2am

so i was just thinking about my unfinished railway from our very own epstein island and donald trump island to mainland best buttzia, i learnt a lot about redstone and different types of rails from last night's build-in-progress! 

then i thought about the floor plans of a one-story brick bungalow i found on google. originally, i tried to built by the scale of "1 feet : 1 minecraft block" but that made the house wayyy too big, like i want a humble home, not a mansion. so i searched up the width of 1 minecraft block and the width of the minecraft body which is "1 meter : 0.6 meter". then i searched up the average human body width, which is about 1.5 feet, why in feet? because the floor plan is american, and americans have their dogs out to measure. alright, i then converted the widths of 1 minecraft block and a minecraft body, equaling to "3.28084ft : 1.9685ft", rounded up "3ft : 2ft"

by this point, i realized that using the width of 1 minecraft block would make the rooms too small, it would be impractical to divide a room of 11ft by 3, making 3.67(👀), wayyy too small. therefore i stuch with the width of a minecraft body, 2ft

thus, i divided the length and width (rounded-up) of each room by 2(ft) to get the equivalents in minecraft blocks, if a ceiling height is given, i use it on the same formula, for example: garage > 20'4" x 25'10" : 10w x 13l master suite > 13'8" x 18'0", 18' boxed ceiling : 7w x 9l x 9h dining room > 12'0" x 12'4", 13' ceiling : 6w x 6l x 7h and so on

also, for the remaining rooms that had no measurements given, such as the storage room, i divided the overall length of the WHOLE house (69.9(👀)) by 2 (= 35). next, i subtracted the length of the master suite, master bath and garage (9l + 9l + 13l), because these rooms are either above or below the storage room, and subtract the answer (31) by 35, = 4 blocks in length

the rest that i havent calculated yet, i figured i'll just build it first and see, hope nothing goes wrong

DUDE im doing math homework at WORK. my math teacher would be quite proud, she was cool with me as a person, not me as a student tho cuz im lowkey lazy, she always tells me "you actually can do it but you just dont study!",i think this blog shows what shes talm bout

otay, this is the fourth day of work, still, nobody's telling me how much im gonna be paid at the end of the month. why edging me... not tuff at all... this blog is also written on my work computer

ive asked Leo how much he was paid per month at his summer job he told me it was US$500 every two weeks, therefore its $1,500 every month, like OH MY JEEZ! thats 6,133.50 bucks in malaysian currency, like what the heck...!? so his net worth rn after working there for 3 months(?) is prolly around 18,400.50 myr...🤑👀 i should ask for something on chinese new year or christmas? nah i dont celebrate christmas, so i wont waste his money. sigh... i wanna be richie mcrichface like that... perhaps i am...? are accouting trainees paid more than summer camp counselors? though this is not a stale source because he lives in the US

ive also asked Superkash how much she would be paid when she does eventually work at a gas station. im not sure how reliable this source might be to figure out my salary since a gas station worker and an accounting trainee are pretty different jobs😭, and also because her dad has a high position in that gas station company, so her salary might be biased IF they are crooked,low chance tho. anyway, the forecast salary she was given is 1750 myr if i could remember correctly, which is US$427.98... significantly lower than Leo's. well its understandable since Leo's job was very pyhsical, he had to deal with brainrotted kids for months. for Superkash, its prolly because you dont need that much skill to pump gas or restock the shelves

so, its either my salary will be set between Superkash and Leo's OR above Leo's, cuz this job seriously requires so much math, and a good eye to spot errors. it might be increased wayyy more IF my grandpa (the CEO of this company) loves me and views me worthy of his money, however, my dad has told me before, that my grandpa is notoriously stingy with his money. well, now that i write this from a 3rd person view, i can see that i got my moolah-driven mindset from my grandpa and dad

speaking about my grandpa (paternal btw), he was knighted(?) by the state sultan and now hes got an honorary title to his name, its kinda like being knighted by the royal family in the UK which gives you the title "sir" for guys, "dame" for ladies. in tihs country, its "dato" for guys and "datin" for ladies. people get nominated for these titles when the government/royalty sees that youve contributed a lot for the country, and then you get knighted by the sultan/king. he was knighted way before i was born so idk what year it happened. i think my step-grandma got the "datin" title when she married my grandpa, the title prolly used to belong to my late grandma, ive never met her tho. if i was in my late grandma's shoes, like in heaven, and i see that my husband REMARRIES and his new wife got MY SUPER VIP TITLE, i'd strike thunder everyday. oh yeah and when youre a dato/datin, you get a special badge that you can stick on your car license plate to show people that youre knighted or something

hello to whoever reads this, im writing a blog on my work computer again

i learnt from the mistake i made yesterday and brought in my own lunch to work, i thought i was gonna pass out from starvation yesterday, i should NOT skip lunch break ever again oh my god

anyway, when my dad picked me up yesterday, it was an awkward car ride as usual but he suddenly broke the silence with a solemn tone, "your phaw(my maternal grandpa/mom's dad)... mummy called me earlier and told me he has passed away this afternoon"

my heart dropped so fast, my heart felt like it was saying "i cant believe it", but that sentence is a lie; i knew that the time would come soon, my prediction was late 2025 or some time in 2026. it sounds heartless that i even dare to predict it, but i cant stop my brain from figuring out what it wants

he continues "this morning, phaw was complaining that he couldnt breathe, so they called the ambulance", "the doctors put him on life support to keep him alive" and nothing else. i think he stopped talking to let me cry, though i didnt

before he passed, i thought on the day that it would happen, i'd breakdown uncontrollably. because he and my mae (my grandma) were the ones who did everything to make me happy as a kid while my parents were away doing who knows what. my phaw introduced me to disco, country and rock music which contributes largely to my music taste today. he also inspired me to pursue a hobby in music, i play guitar partly because of him, i learnt my doremi's from him, he is my rockstar

i just sat in the passenger seat silent and deadpan, i was even thinking "i guess i'll be inheriting his guitar", followed by "why am i even thinking of this?". its like i cant process it. i still dont understand why i have no reaction to this. i think my dad was confuse by my behavior, a short while later, we went straight back to talking about my college plans again. however, he even asked me "dont you want to call mummy and ask about phaw?", i said "later". it felt like even my indifferent dad had more heart than me

i thought, i'd finally let it all out once im back in my bedroom alone. but i just sat on my couch waiting for the emotions to kick in, i was really trying to process it, yet it never came

and then i thought maybe i was just tired from work and i'll just take a short nap. well i couldnt because i felt uneasy, distraught

then i called my mom, she first asked me about my day at work then she asked, "have you heard? did anyone tell you about phaw? did papa tell you?". i said "yeah". the plot twist was when she said "the doctors put him on life support, right now hes still alive but his body cant function like it used to anymore", i was confused and said "but papa said he died?". i didnt mean for it to sound like that, it just couldnt be helped because my thai vocabulary is very limited. i could audibly hear her sigh, she then said "no, hes on life support, he just cant breathe on his own anymore", "the doctors will decide when to pull the plug". i was so confused, i think maybe my dad misunderstood my mom's thai

i thought it was best if i kept the news from my friends, even the closest ones from the news, i didnt want to ruin the atmosphere of fun and jokes. it was also because to me, it was weak, pathetic, self-centered, and pitiful, i dislike looking that way. my boyfriend doesnt know either; with all the little time that we can talk to each other, i dont want to waste it on him feeling sorry or offering condolences to me, i dont want us to talk about these inferior feelings

im not trying to be an edgelord, its just really how i feel. as im writing all this, i do feel sad but its still not so extreme that i need to call home to cry

for the rest of that day, i played minecraft and roblox with my friends. it felt weird, because i was acting like it never happened. i was just laughing, joking, teasing with my friends, i think it helped me quite a lot to be around my friends

okay today is my second day of working as a "management trainee - accounts" at my grandpa's company. its currently lunch time rn, but im skipping lunch. and im blogging this from the work computer

honestly, im really loving this job; im getting the hang of it, prolly because bookkeeping is EASY asf. what i love most about this job is that the AC is turned on 24/7, no sticky humidity on my body and my seat is comfortable a leather with soft cushion, also my supervisor/boss(?)/sensei/senpai/master/shifu, Miss Tan (shes not tanned or anything, shes just chinese and thats her surname), is very kind & patient with me though i think shes a little scary

my least favorite thing about it is actually lunch, why? partly because im not really close with my coworkers enough to have lunch or buy lunch with them. i mean, they're nice enough to invite me to have lunch with them, i accept and go with them; but its not the same as having lunch with F, S, and Soph. i miss them so bad. even before graduating highschool, i was already missing school. i miss gossiping with them, sight seeing stupid people at the canteen, stressing about the next exam while eating curry noodles, omfg my FOMO is bigger than ever. i dont get to do all that with my coworkers cuz they lowkey kinda old (not like more than middle-aged or anything, just 25-30 i think🫣), i can only sit, eat, smile and nod. i think they do gossip but i dont understand it cuz most staff speak malay (which i REALLY suck at), only Miss Tan, Chinese lady sitting next to me (i forgot her name), Finance master, and sometimes my grandpa too speaks to me in chinese, (which i suck at only a little bit), HR lady is the only one who speaks to me in english, and  i appreciate that! yknow i cant relate to them at all.

the mall is literally just across the road from my office and ive been begging my friends to come to the mall and hang with me for lunch break or after work. i dislike lunch time so much that im not eating anything rn. im such a loser

living with my dad is kinda awkward. ive been mustering up the courage to ask him why we're rivals with our neighbours, the Lows, which are also ms. public enemy no.1's maternal family (her grandparents are my neighbours) and everyone in high society knows about our rivalry? but... i still dont have enough courage to ask...

but thats alright because i have a friend whos also high born, Jungabunga; i asked her "hey, have your parents ever talked about me and ms. public enemy no.1's family rivalry?" Jungabunga: "what? no? why?" me: "because me and ms. public enemy no.1's families are long time rivals and im very curious why that is" Jungabunga: "no, ive never heard anything about that. all i know is that your family is very rich and powerful", "and they blow up mountains to sell resources" me: "bro WHAT LOL" Jungabunga: "oh and that your family are really picky in choosing friends" me: "huh? picky? how?" Jungabunga: "they dont trust that many people and they choose friends carefully" me: "okay that explains why my dad tweaked out after finding out im friends with ms. public enemy no.1", "can you ask your parents if they know anything about our rivalry and let me know?" Jungabunga: "aight"

im gonna be working at my grandpa's office starting this thursday! oh mein dieu... shivers down my poopenfarten... im so excited! but i'd have to live with my dad until like early january because my mom and s!st3r are staying with my maternal grandparents' place across the border for an end-of-semester holiday

nothing wrong with staying with my dad, its gonna be so quiet and zen, im looking forward to that kind of peace! im just not sure how to answer "what do you wanna eat?" which im certain he's gonna ask every single day. honestly its awkward between my dad and i, we dont talk much, not at all, the last time i've chitchatted with him was prolly when i was a toddler. but i enjoy it when we do talk; he knows a lot of things and he changes my perspective on things each sentence, i can also see where i've got my personality from, the humor, the bluntness, the indifference. sometimes i wish i could go back in time and fix our distance, then maybe he wouldnt be so detached. wish we could love each other more and less nonchalant to each other. actually im not so desperate for his affection, its already been like that for years, however i think our relationship is less quiet now that im going to college and starting work since there's a lot of planning in these stuff. same thing with my grandpa, we're talking more because of my upcoming future

i wanna know how my family and ms. public enemy no.1's family became rivals. back when i was still friends with her, she invited me to a chinese new year party at her grandparents' house (i'm just one house away from her grandparents... neighbors with the rival family!!!) and i accepted. when i pointed to the house that the party was at, my dad crashed out saying shit like "WHAT!? youre going to THAT house!? do NOT trust them. be careful what you say to them. they are on bad terms with your grandpa and the WHOLE state knows about it.", like what kinda feud does the whole STATE know about!? well im not gonna know the whole thing until im confident enough to ask my dad or grandpa myself. nonetheless... my dad was RIGHT! ms. public enemy no.1 was horrible! maybe pathologically lying to get what they want runs in that family. this ass monkey told me "oh, i think whatever you do in life will get back at you" and i can clearly see now why you got no friends. what a waste of my time and care. high society is serious business🥶! its like aristocracy!

now that ive graduated from high school, i dont really have much to do

i thought id be learning how to drive or working for my grandpa OR have my college application submitted already. actually all of these are prevented by my dad cuz he thinks its too dangerous for me to drive, too young to work and know too little about the college i wanna go to

man, i really wanna work. i have a lot of things i wanna shop for, like a new laptop and... a lot more stuff i guess but i cant think of what i want right now. im not looking for brand new things, it can be secondhand, i dont care, as long as it works well

and i really wanna get to new york. theres somebody i wanna meet including bebe rexha, im lucky enough to have that powerful of a connection to famous people. oh i forgot, i have connections to jenna ortega as well, im not a fan but i am lowkey a clout chaser, wouldnt hurt to get one picture. that somebody is my brand new guitar student that seriously needs physical corrections, im not sure how to teach someone who doesnt listen to instructions  through a screen, things will be so easy if i could correct and punish

i dont know i became so frugal/money-obsessed, im nowhere near the poverty line. i just love taking advantage of an opportunity to make as much money as i can. i dont think this is jewish of me at all, its just a stereotype, and so what if jews do like money? i think thats a smart mindset to have to avoid living in cardboards

the question "why does bottle wonky?" came into existence when me, S, Soph, and F were grouped together for a water-powered car project at school. it was a simple structure, soda bottle for the body, CDs for the wheels, sticks for support. everybody worked hard on it but i had to point out the asymmetry of the car. i asked "why dis bottle wonky?", F misheard me and repeated "why does bottle wonky?". it was a funny moment

i miss school so much. i didnt like the homework and exams but i love the people at school. my classmates were so funny. it was quite exciting to have rivals because ive always felt like "if you hate me first, i'll hate you back", just makes school more interesting. especially now that its november going into december, its so darn cold, i loved wearing cute jackets/hoodies to school, it was comfortable to sleep in them + i looked decent 

im graduating from secondary school in 4 days and i havent written about my personal self in a long long time, ive started from blogging about my horrible study habits and procrastination thats beyond repair, then it switched to daily life comedies at school and home, nothing bad about it but i couldve spend more time documenting my teenlife

my parents have been rushing me to apply for college and ICL TS RLLY PMO, its genuinely ragebaiting me, like cmon man, my oct/nov igcse session's results arent gonna be released til next year and im guaranteed a spot in college anyway cuz private universities dont care as long as you got money! tho i can understand why my parents are rushing me, people are competitive! especially the chinese community (im chinese as well to anyone whos reading ts) cuz they all money-smart n shit, like all seats available in college are gonna be GONE, all housing nearby campus are gonna be GONE. i gotta start thinking with moolah on my mind more often

actually, i DO think with cash on my mind. last time, superkash was complimenting my drawing and i said "if you really wanna show your appreciation towards my art, you should reward me with some cash" and she had some kind of baffled/LOLing reaction, saying "yknow youre like a jew!" its not the first time ive been called a jew, the second time was when me and F were talking about money and accounting and she said "youre like a jew, my mom said chinese people are stingy with money and she was right" whats up with muslims calling me a jew? nothing bad about dreaming of profit maximization

yesterday, when all my friends were in the discord VC, Analcap was unboxing alien stage merch that she bought from some kind of alien stage event? anyway, everyone was hyped up and delighted. at that time, i personally wasnt a huge alien stage fan, but i respect the series

and when i was on a call with my beau, Leo, i asked him "do you know alien stage?", the name was unfamiliar to him, but when he searched it up, he said "oh yeah, i know this. i auditioned for one of the characters, it was the blond one". i was like "WHAT!? WHAT THE FUCK!?" and he was just so nonchalant about it

Leo told me that he came across a casting post looking for voice actors for luka, and decided to audition. he admitted that he half-assed the lines when recording (his friend was furious at him for it, seeing how big alien stage had become) because he got the feeling that he want gonna get the role, since initially, there were only a few people trying out, but he later checked again and saw there were a ton of auditioners

i was in shocked at the possibility of him being the VA FOR LUKA OF ALIEN STAGE DUDE I WOULDVE BEEN THE GREATEST LUKA STAN. I WOULDVE BEEN A ALIEN STAGE SUPERFAN MY BOYFRIEND COULDVE BEEN LUKA, I COULDVE BEEN DATING LUKA he couldve been singing "ruler of my heart" and "blink gone", it wouldve been the top #1 and #2 on my spotify wrapped every year he couldve gotten so much VIP-only merch

Analcap and Superkash understands my rage for this

but yknow im not mad actually, im just WOWed by the possibility, the Che (me) in that alternate universe with the voice-acting-Leo must be extremely proud and boastful

the up and coming july 21st is my beloved F's birthday. as F has said to me, she and E have been in withdrawal for far too long. the first time they got high was when E found a secret stash hidden in his parent's bedroom then smuggled it to school so he could split the joint with F in the janitors' closet

so as a birthday gift, i copped a 12 pack for her and E. they couldnt score some themselves because F's house is a no-fly zone for these types of deliveries, and E's got it worse, every package opened, every box scanned, the goods were out of reach. but since i know what to get, where to get, when to get, how to get and from whom to get, i placed the order last tuesday and picked up the pack last saturday. i wrapped it with red paper, tied with a pink ribbon, sealed with a bow, theres a short and sweet letter included as well, which read:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my lesbian crush F!

Please enjoy this gift with your lover E!

Use with caution!

With prosperity, Che

i messaged F about the secured goods and she was gobsmacked and ecstatic,

me: hello twin, you're not gonna believe this *sends a picture of the stuff*

F: UR RIGHT TWIN I DONT BELIEVE THIS 

me: ITS REAL

F: hey.. u don’t uh.. have to give it to me on my birthday.. aight…?

me: heh... i'm gonna edge you bro 

F: BRO PEASE 

me: i'm giving it on july 21 

F: NO PLEASE 

me: if you need it on sunday... i need extra favors

F: go on twin ❤️ anything twin ❤️ pleas ❤️ twin

me: really🧡

F: yea ❤️

me: you gotta do everything i say until we graduate, how's that

F: it depends on the intensity of the request… do not make me eat shit out of a trash can or drink toilet water and we good i think ❤️‍🩹

me: yeah okay i ain't evil🧡

F: ❤️ yea sure twin 🌹

me: okay bro sunday 🧡🧡🧡

F: YAY

however F was also afraid people might be able to recognise the shape of the package and asked if i could repackage it to look less suspicious, i replied with "i gotchu" and sent a picture of the stash nicely wrapped which caused her to bust a gut laughing,

F: ts not sus at all we good bruh ❤️❤️❤️ sending ts to E rn, u funny bruh.. i like u ❤️ keeping the present wrapping to stuff in my journal after i unwrap it ❤️❤️ the ribbon and all that..

me: there's a special letter in there too

F: BAGWGAHAGWHAGAHA BRO 😭😭😭😭😭😭 can’t wait for you to hear about it twin.. ❤️

me: me too twin🧡

yesterday, on sunday, july 13 (happy birthday to brother zhao), i went to school with the present in my bag. i asked her again and again, “do you want it bro?” and every time, she said the same thing: “i want it, bro.”. eventually, she had enough and snapped: "WHY'RE YOU EDGING ME BRO! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?" and i was like "WAIT! im thinking of something you can do"

what i thought of was for her to do 100 perfect squats, knees bent 90 degrees. i guess she was feeling desperate or overconfident to make her say "OKAY! THATS EASY! I USED TO DO THIS WITH DUMBBELLS ALL THE TIME!" and a sad mistake of saying "I CAN EVEN GO ALL THE WAY DOWN FOR YOU BRO"

1st squat, there was an audible crack from her knee

20th squat, she needed a short break

60th squat, now she needs a long long break, laying on the cold cement

70th squat, she asked me if she could use the dustpan as an aid to stand back up, as a benevolent soul, i said yes! 

after the 100th squat down, she let herself collapse to the ground. i lend her a hand and shook it as i handed her the gift

this whole time, E was just by her side mocking her movement saying "what is that form bro"

but why did i give such a peculiar challenge? thats because last thursday, i stayed home from school so that i can skip a performance. on that day, i thought that i was slacking off too much and needed to be more productive/active, so! i decided to do squats, all 90 degrees. it was tiring and painful, i barely reached 20. on the very next day, my legs were pitifully sore. and i wanted F to twin with me, et voila!

there was a lot of groaning, whimpering, whining, sighing coming from F's squatting. J mistook it as moaning and ordered the chortling GKK to tell F to stop her moaning as it was disturbing J's schoolwork. A walked into the classroom whilst everything was happening at the same time and presented a dumbfounded face which made J and GKK geek out belly laughing. i could not hold in my guffaw for the rest of that morning because every time i look at F, shes limping and handicapped, it looks so exaggerated

on sunday, S and Soph were absent from school, so there was only me and F there for each other. at recess, me and F sat down together and she started talking, i wasnt really paying attention to the things she was saying but i was zoning out thinking about my... hehehehe...  somebody . until the atmosphere of our table changed, F seems more hesitant to confess something, i got interested and leaned in, what is it that she was trying to say? eventually, she revealed all the lovey-dovey things she's ever done for/with E. I was shocked by how romantic their relationship was and i uncontrollably LOL'd (im not sure why either). she said that she's only telling me this because she predicted my exact reaction and knew i wouldnt judge her, which made me feel special 😎. we continued to talk about her and E's tender fairytale till the end of classes. we even skipped out on our club and societies for more talk! it was at this moment that we discovered how much we actually relate to each other! our feelings, experience, thoughts on love was worth a thousand painful high fives to convey resonance. 

when i got home, F told me about her recent date with E that they had, right after school hours. it was so loving! E had fed F some of his own self-made delicacy, meticulously crafted with love. and i guess E expressed satisfaction (for F's liking of his distinct cuisine) that caused her to boast about it proudly and repetitively the very next day, such as

in the tranquil comatose atmosphere of the science lab:

F - bro... me - *turns to her in a knowing manner* F - it was so good bro... me - ...was it good bro? F - IT WAS SO GOOD BRO

again, i was the only person told of their date because F felt shy and sinful to tell anybody else. ive only told my ######### about this, not even my closest childhood friends know about this! i prefer this to not go down the scandalous route, similarly to ms. public enemy no.1's case 😂

such a great bond that we developed, we couldnt stop talking! we were even talking at the playground where the sun blazed overhead and children were playing around. we sat on the spring seesaw, rocking up and down as the conversation flows. F even moved closer, sitting on the central beam right in front of me so that i could hear her better. quite comical that we were speaking the intimate words of a wattpad fanfic in the same environment where little kids are having fun!

yesterday, i was having lunch with my paternal grandpa and my step-grandma. they just kept asking me about my plans after graduation. initially, i wanted to take a gap year and work at an island or a gas station but i think if i actually told them that, theyll be internally disappointed along with my ancestors. so instead, i told them im gonna go take foundation in arts (not literally arts, its commerce shit) at a private college located in the capital of the country to prepare for bachelor's in a university! SOLID PLAN! they like it, theyre satisfied, and im happy that they dont look down on me

they are SO satisfied that they want me to... [TRIGGER WARNING!!!] w*rk at their company as a trainee RIGHT AFTER i graduate (in november i think), even before i apply for college and stuff. AINT THAT CRAZY!?!? the great opportunity right at my doorstep

NO NO NO!!! i cant doomscroll and brainrot anymore💔

YES YES YES!! im gonna be empl*yed and getting money, Money, MONEY 🤑🤑🤑

as for housing, my mom doesnt want me to live alone because she thinks im too irresponsible. so i either have to live in an apartment with a friend or college dorms. DAMN it... i wanted to go commando and karaoke 24/7...

anyway, i agreed to w*rk with them in january 2026. honestly, the way my step-grandma was offering this j*b to me sounds like a "too good to be true so there has to be a catch" typa deal. i dont know why she was persistently persuading me when i already agreed to take the j*b

as we were saying our goodbyes, they felt SO happy with my future career choice that they gave me 200 BUCKS. WHAT THE SHIT!? thats how i know... i finally successfully won their affection

now the difficult part is to study hard and get a good score on my IGCSEs... 

how the FUCK do i do that when laziness and burnout are the two devils whispering in my ears

i was writing this blog yesterday on spacehey mobile but the blog editing layout slided to the right and suddenly, my WHOLE BLOG was gone. ICL TS PMO

i thought i was gonna do good on my science test yesterday and i think i did pretty okay! for the biology sections at least. as for chemistry, i bullshitted all that crap with the very little scientific logic i had in me. its a bad thing because paper 2 was 25% biology and 75% chemistry, while paper 1 was ENTIRELY CHEMISTRY🖕

but why did i perform so badly? its not that i didnt study at all. its because our science teacher, teacher amen, lied to us about the topics that were gonna be on the exam. i mean, he didnt exactly lie but he just didnt give us the complete topic list when he said its the FULL LIST. the full topic list includes more chemistry topics that we suck at

i didnt care if i failed or not because cmon guys its just midterms, not IGCSEs😎. but F (my muse) was furious about his lying. shes not the only one mad though, theres also M and Princess (the mean popular girls) and S whos only mildly angry

at recess, F, S and i were sitting at M and Princess' table for some reason and F just goes off about teacher amen while he was just sitting right across the canteen with his teacher gang, sitting where he has his back towards us. F wanted so bad to confront him about his lying

F- when the FUCK is teacher amen gonna get up and turn around bruh...

as the entire table fills with teacher amen slander, he turned around to face us,

teacher amen- so, how did you guys do just now?

F- teacher... why didnt you tell us everything that was gonna come out on the paper... (in a suppressed wrath tone)

teacher amen- eh, i already told you guys all the topics and told you to write it down

F- TEACHER, i DID write it all down!

teacher amen- no man, you were sleeping when i read the topics

F- TEACHER, I WAS AWAKE THE WHOLE TIME, I DIDNT SLEEP

they continue to bicker loudly back and forth across the canteen, causing heads to turn back at us

teacher amen- thats why you shouldnt sleep inside the classroom

F turned back towards everyone at our table with a flabbergasted expression as if her eye sockets are about to yell "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!?". she started tweaking severely it looked like an epileptic seizure 😂😂😂 luh this girl

F (to us)- OH, SO ITS MY FAULT THAT I FAILED!? I READ THE QUESTIONS AND THERE WAS ONLY "blah blah blah bleh bleh bleh bluh bluh bluh" SPEAKING TO ME

when teacher amen and his buddies finished their meal, he walked over to our table. he asked the rest of us how we did. my response was between an "it was okay" to nothing

F- teacher, can you tell us whats gonna be on the next paper?

teacher amen- dont worry, its easy. MCQ, just need to circle (we already knew there was gonna be multiple choice questions on the next paper)

when he walked away, 

F- OHH JUST CIRCLE!? I TOTALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT! PRINCESS, DID YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE TO CIRCLE THE ANSWERS ON AN MCQ PAPER!?

Princess- no! i didnt know! i was actually gonna draw a heart around the answers. we have to circle? no way!

there was more to this story but i cant recall the dialogue to continue 💔